Can the term "slut" be redeemed for SM episodes?

[Pure]

edge?

how so WD? how would you make it so?

in the post three above you, it's become a pet name and tatooed on the butt.

 

[Let_it_come]

Slut is dead. Long live Cunt.

J.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Slut, like all words do little to humiliate me. In my work a day my (I hate to call most of them clients) use slut as a trem of endearment. No...really I have been desentisized to such things. It is actions that make me want to cover my face and beg for it to stop.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Hmmmn I don't know most offensive thing a Dominant ever called me was 'vanilla' in a public setting when I was less than complimentry about a fetish aspect he was 'provoking' me with by speaking of..

Neither of us forget that day I can assure you.

Slut could illicit an range of responses from me. Reflective in the context and by whom. I can think of at least one scenario that would find me devestated,other contexts may be appreciated , endeared to or even possibly ignored. I can think of a least one occasion that comes to mind where I laughed heartily.

 

[LunarKitten]

kitty,
thanks for sharing.

you said in part,

['Slut' is]It's actually a pet name Master has given to me, it's even tattoed on my bumm.

this, of course, exactly bring up the point of this thread. it appears to me that your Master calling you 'slut', at this point, would be more a compliment, than something than made you ashamed.

hence my hunch that the word is almost irretrievably lost for use in an SM encounter (among most pairs, esp. younger ones), e.g for humiliation.

here's a question for you, however. suppose, in passing, you mentioned to the Master that you'd had a dream about being 'taken by the family dog,' and that it was a very arousing dream, one, however, that embarrassed you to recount. suppose there is a next episode involving humiliation, and he were to say, "you are slut who even wants to get fucked by the family dog." would *that* reach you? (or is this whole line, inconceivable).

Would depend on his tone of voice when he used it. If he sounded really upset and used the term toward me I would probably breakdown in tears for a really long time.

 

[LadyAria]

The reason for asking is that in our tolerant society, 'slut' is now even a term of commendation, and often self applied. It means 'sexually adventurous' or simply 'avid for sex.' The term 'slutty' often has no more punch than 'naughty.'

Do you think "slut" has lost its sting? If so (as I tend to think),

What would it take for ''slut" to be redeemed, to have some 'sting' to it (e.g. shame)? [added: 2 pm EDT--and hence have some use in SM episodes.]

If one says 'yes', what would it take? Let's hear people's ideas. One obvious one, though too extreme [added, 5 pm EDT--or possibly unsafe] for most persons is that the bottom is "compelled" to actually sell herself (himself) to a stranger--one over which she has no choice as to discrimination. Short of that, what is there?

Would some kinds of psychological probing, for instance, be necessary?

I don't think it matters what you say, but more in how you say it. Slut or any other words impact in verbal degradation is all in the delivery.

 

[Pure]

one thing odd about this poll

looking at the 'yeses'--several persons seem to have ideas about how to make 'slut' have some impact in an SM setting. yet we haven't heard from them at all.


Among them are --

40_and_frisky, Caitlynne, ladyadonia30, LadyAria, LibraStud, maximo9012, sexy_slave21, tabbybaby, tealsphynx


Come on, share your ideas!

ADDED: If you want your name taken out of this posting, let me know by PM. I have presumed you know the poll identifies voters.

--
by the way, my own answer flits in between 'possibly yes' and 'probably 'yes' ' based on scenarios such as I laid out in my last post [7-10, #24] to Lunar Kitten.

 

[ammre]

The reason for asking is that in our tolerant society, 'slut' is now even a term of commendation, and often self applied. It means 'sexually adventurous' or simply 'avid for sex.' The term 'slutty' often has no more punch than 'naughty.'

Do you think "slut" has lost its sting? If so (as I tend to think),

What would it take for ''slut" to be redeemed, to have some 'sting' to it (e.g. shame)? [added: 2 pm EDT--and hence have some use in SM episodes.]

If one says 'yes', what would it take? Let's hear people's ideas. One obvious one, though too extreme [added, 5 pm EDT--or possibly unsafe] for most persons is that the bottom is "compelled" to actually sell herself (himself) to a stranger--one over which she has no choice as to discrimination. Short of that, what is there?

Would some kinds of psychological probing, for instance, be necessary?

For me the term slut still totally stings. Sure i'm sexually adventerious and such, but i'd much rather say i sleep around then i am a slut. One is more of an action and one is a name or label. Then again, i'm none too good with anem calling. i'll put up with it if there's a purpose, but it's not my thing.

 

[saw_man1]

Not Good

those who say it's quite clear how to make 'slut' have some impact in an SM setting (i.e, the avid, certain 'yes's'), have not posted or stated how they would do so!
Names deleted to protect the kinky
come on, share your ideas!

I take exception with what you've done here. These people may have wanted to vote anonymously. You have not only divulged the fact that they voted but how they voted. I would respectfully suggest that you either get their permission or erase this post.

 

[Pure]

thanks for the note, saw man.

interesting point.

SM I take exception with what you've done here. These people may have wanted to vote anonymously. You have not only divulged the fact that they voted but how they voted. I would respectfully suggest that you either get their permission or erase this post.

P: I've thought this over. I have made the posting less specific, and asked if anyone wants off that list. I think that will suffice for now, considering these points:

0. The poll is at a BDSM forum in a pornsite; the shy persons and private persons have screennames, but are, generally, known participants in the forum, under such names. One, for instance, has also posted to the 'raw anal lust' thread. So how concerned about proper appearance [within the usual guarantees of internet anonymity] can that "person"--actually an entity or screenname-- be?

1. The poll identifies itself as public, and most people have seen the results and names (haven't you?--click on a number), for this poll and others. The names will continue to be there, whether I alter my posting or not.

2. Only screennames are used, so it's hardly invading privacy if I know--or others know-- how "Hot in NYC" voted as to the word 'slut.'

3. On the same topic, even if we knew who "Hot in NYC was", she is not being asked, 'Have you fucked anyone besides your husband?'
She is not even being asked is she's had SM experience. She is asked as to whether the word 'slut' can have any 'sting' these days.
Several have answered that, without, I think, undue embarrassment.

So that's my reasoning behind leaving the names and making just some changes of phrasing, and a request to hear from objectors. If anyone wants his or her name out of the posting, they may let me know. HOWEVER, everyone should note that the names are present in the poll, for all to see, regardless of my posting, *and I can't [undo] that* without going to Laurel.

I appreciate your concern, nonetheless, and hope this answers it.

 

[Netzach]

This totally proves one of only one or two laws I have on the subject of humiliation in SM.

It's totally subjective.

 

[saw_man1]

interesting point.
I appreciate your concern, nonetheless, and hope this answers it.

Well don’t I feel like an idiot. I had no idea that the make up of the poll voting was visible to all. In light of that knowledge what you did was no big deal at all.

Please accept my apologies.

Now I am going to look at how everyone voted on all the polls so I know what they really think!

Knowledge is a good thing.

 

[LibraStud]

My lady loves it when I call her a "slut", since it is a code word for us. I just called her at work and tods her what a slut she was. I know there are all kind of things happening physically and mentally to her right now. Tonight will be fun.

 

[saw_man1]

Two observations on the poll

Pure, you didn’t vote.

As I was looking at the poll results I was struck with how cool some of the screen names are. My screen name feels so plain and ordinary. I now have major screen name envy. This could affect my self confidense.
What if this also affects my sexual performance and I develop erectile dysfunction? I might then slide into a deep depression. Job loss would naturally come next. I would then probably find myself living in a van down by the river. A sad end to be sure.

I need to find some religion somewhere that promises a cooler screen name in the afterlife.

 

[Pure]

in my posting #32, i gave my answer, and have, since i've seen your question, registered it.

apology accepted.

 

[saw_man1]

Question

Why can I see the details of your poll but not of ADR's poll on cliquishness?

Does the thread starter determine what’s visible?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Why can I see the details of your poll but not of ADR's poll on cliquishness?

Does the thread starter determine what’s visible?

Yes, there is a choice.

Catalina

 

[saw_man1]

Yes, there is a choice.

Catalina

Thank you for the explanation.

 

[Shankara20]

Pure, you didn’t vote.

As I was looking at the poll results I was struck with how cool some of the screen names are. My screen name feels so plain and ordinary. I now have major screen name envy. This could affect my self confidense.
What if this also affects my sexual performance and I develop erectile dysfunction? I might then slide into a deep depression. Job loss would naturally come next. I would then probably find myself living in a van down by the river. A sad end to be sure.

I need to find some religion somewhere that promises a cooler screen name in the afterlife.

you do have a way cool av....

 

[myinnerslut]

i LOVE being called a slut by my Sir... preferable to my name even. its endering in a way... he refers to me as "my slut" and when i have to talk in the third person, i never hesitate to call myself "your slut"' or "yours"

 

[FurryFury]

i LOVE being called a slut by my Sir... preferable to my name even. its endering in a way... he refers to me as "my slut" and when i have to talk in the third person, i never hesitate to call myself "your slut"' or "yours"

That's so sweet!

Good for you and yours!

*HUGS*

Fury

 

[roomfor1more]

The word slut means a woman who is not tied down to one partner. Essentially it means a woman who is in some form of open or poly-amorous relationship. For those who are into swinging, group sex, or some form of open relationship the word slut can be a compliment. However if you look at the wider population and not look at the alternative lifestyle group then slut can have a colloquial meaning where it can have a negative meaning. Therefore for the word slut to have a humiliating influence the person being called a slut must be able to understand the word to have a negative, not positive connotation.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The word slut means a woman who is not tied down to one partner. Essentially it means a woman who is in some form of open or poly-amorous relationship. For those who are into swinging, group sex, or some form of open relationship the word slut can be a compliment. However if you look at the wider population and not look at the alternative lifestyle group then slut can have a colloquial meaning where it can have a negative meaning. Therefore for the word slut to have a humiliating influence the person being called a slut must be able to understand the word to have a negative, not positive connotation.

Since the word actually means "A dirty, slovenly woman," and refers to a woman who can't say yes or no for herself, how lacks any self-agency and has had sex with more men than the speaker approves of-- you'd be astonished at how many women understand the negative connotations of the word.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Since the word actually means "A dirty, slovenly woman," and refers to a woman who can't say yes or no for herself, how lacks any self-agency and has had sex with more men than the speaker approves of-- you'd be astonished at how many women understand the negative connotations of the word.

I have a feeling the word "slut" resides in the same neighbourhood as "sex addict", meaning people who have more sex than I.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have a feeling the word "slut" resides in the same neighbourhood as "sex addict", meaning people who have more sex than I.

Women. It's a gendered word.

I guess, "Sex addict" can be construed as the male equivalent, and "Addict" removes a certain amount of opprobrium, doesn't it? There's the perception that one can fight an addiction. Calling someone a slut is a complete identification.

(oddly enough, my blog is named; "Dharma Slut")