chubbie subbies

[lorddragonwolf]

Not everyone does, lorddragonwolf.

We all have personal preferences, some which are of a higher priority than others.

It may have to do with age, appearance, likes or dislikes, but I hold no ill will against someone who doesn't find me physically attractive, regardless of the reason.

i hate when someone looks at a person and judges them by there looks, age, or physical apperance. i have seen people cut people down at work because of how they look. amazeing that when you turn it around on them they run. what is wrng with a person than is heavy? i say nothing.

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: What is Interesting

is that we are chewing this subject up, and the person who posted has not responded back and is not really registered.

Could this just be bait?

Ebony <just wondering>

It may have been, but I am so impressed with the calm and thoughtful way such a potentially contentious subject has been discussed.

 

[spankableBelle]

cant you take a woman for who she is no matter how much she weights?

one could certainly hope so, couldn't they?

i have been talking with someone for a while now and the issue of size had never come up until a few days ago, i brought it up...'btw, i'm a bbw'...His response to me was 'should that matter to Me?' i was, i must say, shocked. Should it matter? No, it doesn't change who i am, the one You've been talking to. But does it generally matter to others? YES it does. The singles line that i work for, i listen to men describe the 'friends' that they are looking for. 90% of the time, the first thing out of their mouths are height/weight proportionate...no fatties...no big women...5'5, 130...and this is just for 'friendship'...yeah right! The trophy room is through the glass door on the left, please watch your step so the illusion of perfection isn't shattered. The women i listen to aren't any better. Both men and women give into the perfection that the other is seeking...meet...and come back on the line disillusioned because they both lied. If people cannot accept a person for who they are and not what they look like, then we are all a sad sorry excuse. Yes, there has to be physical attraction, but of most or all of ones desires are based on that, then in time, when hair falls out, wrinkles come, parts start drooping and sagging and widening...someone is going to be truly disappointed. Think of all the people, thin and not thin, height/weight proportionate and not height/weight proportionate that are beautiful on the inside, but have been and are passed over because someone couldn't look past the physical, refused to even consider it? Being happy and accepted for who one is, is great motivation to better oneself, to take better care of oneself if it has been a lack of self esteem that contributed in the first place. Sometimes there are other reasons for weight gain or lack of weight loss. But there again, is the need for people to be open rather than closed in that glass room of trophies, be they slender or not. Ultimately substance is what it should be about. She/he may be YOUR ideal height/weight(be it again slender or not)...but is that worth it enough if the person inside is ugly? (shrugs)

belle

 

[lorddragonwolf]

you can usually tell what a person is like by how they act talk ect. everyone acts differently i look at the inside as well as the outside. if you are beautiful inside it should not matter how you look on the outside.

 

[cymbidia]

i have been talking with someone for a while now and the issue of size had never come up until a few days ago, i brought it up...'btw, i'm a bbw'...His response to me was 'should that matter to Me?' i was, i must say, shocked. Should it matter? No, it doesn't change who i am, the one You've been talking to. But does it generally matter to others? YES it does.

You've made sme fabulous points here, belle, and they illustrate a long-cherished prejudice of mine.

I think that BDSM'ers, with our emphasis so squarely on what's going on inside our heads, and inside our partner's heads, are on the whole less likely to judge other people, even potential partners, on the basis of some idealized version of physical beauty as are non-BDSM'ers.

There are many who need and want a particular body type, yes. We're a group of people with fetishes we can and do discuss very openly. There's gonna be some body-needs with regard to shape, color, size, etc inherent in the open and avid pursuit of fetishes. It seems to me (and here's another prejudice of mine) that the majority of the people who want only perfect hardbodies for partners are people who are just coming to this, too. They haven't figured out the head game yet, don't know the richness ofthe emotional trip, can't begin to see the strength of the pshchological connections that can be forged within a good BDSM relationships - and so they're still hung up on good bodies = good sex.

Some of us will always need and want particular body types in our partners. Some of us will grow away from such priorities as new facets of this gain in importance.

In all cases, at all times, it's far better to know what our partner wants upfront, isn't it, then to invest even a bit of ourselves in them - and then hear that we'll be good enough to keep after we lose that extra weight.

I say, if you gotta have someone who'll perform with all comers at your command, say it upfront. If you need someone to pee on, say it upfront. And if you need someone to be h/w proportional, say that upfront, too. It helps those of us reading your ads to know if we'll fit your criteria and, so, neither of us wastes time or has to deal with the ugly feelings around rejection for something that's just a part of us.

 

[Ebonyfire]

To some people externals are the trigger for their desire(s).

That is fine for them.

I am very specific my my profile about what I am looking for, and yet I am constantly approached by men who obviously have not read it and are just not what I want. I used to reply. Now, I just hit the delete key.

Perhaps some folks just need to learn to read.

Eb

 

[DustyWolfe]

Re: Re: chubbie subbies

You have to find a sub who will agree to your requirements. So when you are meeting them, you must discuss this with them before you collar them.

If I were a sub, I would not want a Dom who did not accept me the way I am.

Ebonyfire

Now here is a thread I KNOW something about... During my four years of hell I was taken off a medication that I had been on for 15 years. When She did that to me I gained 90 pounds... So yes, I am overweight... But hey... There's more of me to love and bruise right?

But seriously, I would not even talk to a Domme that couldn't like me for the way I am. To think that you can request a sub to lose weight so that they can be under your collar is just pompous and shallow. What does weight have to do with anything unless you just want a "gorgeous" submissive that you can show off and put on a pedastool.

Your submissive only reflects you in their grace, obedience and inner beauty, not what is on the outside...

 

[PlayDoe]

A touchy subject?

Eb said,

"To some people externals are the trigger for their desire(s).

That is fine for them.

I am very specific my my profile about what I am looking for, and yet I am constantly approached by men who obviously have not read it and are just not what I want. I used to reply. Now, I just hit the delete key.

Perhaps some folks just need to learn to read."

It seems most of the people here, are very selective about the type of situation and people that they wish to have a relationship with. In fact, very selective is putting it mildy. What turns one person on (especially a lot of us ;-)) might be consider pure torture to someone else. The fact is that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and to seek fulfillment to their own desires. NewDom, just be up front on what you want right from the beginning.

"Judge not, less you be judged".

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: A touchy subject?

No, not a touchy subject at all.

What makes you think that?

I was posting my opinion. No more no less.

Eb

Eb said,

"To some people externals are the trigger for their desire(s).

That is fine for them.

I am very specific my my profile about what I am looking for, and yet I am constantly approached by men who obviously have not read it and are just not what I want. I used to reply. Now, I just hit the delete key.

Perhaps some folks just need to learn to read."

It seems most of the people here, are very selective about the type of situation and people that they wish to have a relationship with. In fact, very selective is putting it mildy. What turns one person on (especially a lot of us ;-)) might be consider pure torture to someone else. The fact is that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and to seek fulfillment to their own desires. NewDom, just be up front on what you want right from the beginning.

"Judge not, less you be judged".

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: A touchy subject?

No, not a touchy subject at all.

What makes you think that?

I was posting my opinion. No more no less. Are you posting yours?

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

Just wonderin'

Has this guy posted again, since *he* started this goofy thread?

Rose

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Just wonderin'

Nope. I think it is a set up. But I may be wrong.

Has this guy posted again, since *he* started this goofy thread?

Rose

 

[MissTaken]

you can usually tell what a person is like by how they act talk ect. everyone acts differently i look at the inside as well as the outside. if you are beautiful inside it should not matter how you look on the outside.

awwww now there is a keeper!


I believe the same thing, but I suppose we all have our quirks.

I really prefer a man who is over the age of 18, doesn't sport severe plaque on his teeth and has a nice butt. I can be flexible with the butt, though

 

[Ebonyfire]

awwww now there is a keeper!


I believe the same thing, but I suppose we all have our quirks.

I really prefer a man who is over the age of 18, doesn't sport severe plaque on his teeth and has a nice butt. I can be flexible with the butt, though

LOL, I nearly choked, I have heard that americans are called a teeth Nazis!


I know I am one. Bad teeth, step away from the ebony!

 

[cymbidia]

Has this guy posted again, since *he* started this goofy thread?

Doesn't really matter, as others have pointed out, cuz the original post engendered some really good conversation, didn't it? Whether or not the original poster is some kinda fake (Why do people do that? I don't understand that "post as a fake" sort of thing at all), we still benefitted cuz we got to talk this one out.

Bad teeth, step away from the ebony!

...and cym!

I'm a "teeth nazi", too, i suppose. They don't have to be perfectly straight but they'd better be sparkling clean. Good oral habits, and not the sexual kind, are very important to me. Perhaps i should have included this in my profile...?

 

[WriterDom]

Fat bottomed girls make the bdsm world go round. And less worry about flogger wrap.

I can see where if it's her decision to lose weight, a Dom could be a motivating influence. But from my own experience, people tend to get larger with age, not smaller. It's not a task I'd want to take on. I'm no dietitian or trainer.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Doesn't really matter, as others have pointed out, cuz the original post engendered some really good conversation, didn't it? Whether or not the original poster is some kinda fake (Why do people do that? I don't understand that "post as a fake" sort of thing at all), we still benefitted cuz we got to talk this one out....and cym!

I'm a "teeth nazi", too, i suppose. They don't have to be perfectly straight but they'd better be sparkling clean. Good oral habits, and not the sexual kind, are very important to me. Perhaps i should have included this in my profile...?

Exactly. There is nothing worse than looking a someone and they smile and there is all this green fur around their teeth.

yuck!

 

[A Desert Rose]

Exactly. There is nothing worse than looking a someone and they smile and there is all this green fur around their teeth.

yuck!

Ohhhhhh geeeeeze Eb. lol
Rose

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Fat bottomed girls make the bdsm world go round. And less worry about flogger wrap.

I can see where if it's her decision to lose weight, a Dom could be a motivating influence. But from my own experience, people tend to get larger with age, not smaller. It's not a task I'd want to take on. I'm no dietitian or trainer.

LOL @ flogger wrap. That's a good one. Really glad I wasn't drinking there.

I also have to agree about the getting larger with age thing. It also happens to women who have children too. I'm not by any means as little as I once was, but I'm still the same person I've always been.


dixi

 

[DustyWolfe]

Fat bottomed girls make the bdsm world go round. And less worry about flogger wrap.

I have the perfect bdsm bottom

 

[MzChrista]

I have the perfect bdsm bottom

you are the perfect bdsm bottom

 

[DustyWolfe]

you are the perfect bdsm bottom

awwwwwwwwwwwwww
ummmmm wow...

Thank you... *blushes*

 

[ChaoticLil]

i once told someone that if you went by looks alone you would be missing a hell of a lot of good lays.

If you aren't into BBW, then i feel you should put that in your profile. i have never taken it as an insult as long because someone may want something that i'm not.

i met Master Troy online over a year and a half ago. At the time we started talking neither one of us had any idea what the other looked like. When He requested a pic, i sent Him one believing that once He saw it i would never hear from Him again. At the time i felt i had two strikes against me....my size and my age (i'm 43 and He's 32).

Last May i moved from Texas to Virginia to be with Him. He doesn't care about how large i am; in fact He loves it. Master loves hard sex, and with a larger woman He doesn't have to worry about "breaking" me or hitting hipbones when he fucks me.

i still get insecure at times because i weigh about 100lbs more than He does, but it's going away. i'm also losing weight from all of the activity i'm getting. Since moving here i've went from a size 26 to a 22.

Personally, i look for the attitude and not the size/looks. i would rather have someone who is not God's perfect specimen with the personality i like than someone who is fit/trim/knock out handsome.

::smiles::

luckily i got both in the same package.

 

[MissTaken]

you are the perfect bdsm bottom

I have been told that as recently as....


this morning.





"Look mom, no marks!"

 

[lost]

I'm new to all this. All the subs I found have been BBWs. The few that aren't don't bother answering my replies on bondage or alt.com. Is it within the rules to request that they slim down to an acceptable weight if I agree to monitor their exercise and eating habits?

A few points here- I'm probably echoing sereval people-
1. She may look like a godess when you meet her, but things happen- babies, illness, medication, depression- that can quickly change her physical appearence. Belaboring the point by riding on her about her weight could be very desturctive.
2. I am a large woman and would never get into a relationship where my body isn't accpected just as it is. Think Anna Nicole (now) from the neck down. Of course I would love to lose weight, but most women do.
3. I think it would be unhealthy to start a relationship with, "Well your going to have to change this, and this, and...." I will accept my man as is. If it is that big of a concern then he's not right for me. BTW I am a teeth Nazi too- dated a guy who chewed (and had for several years) it was just too much for me to get over.

My .02