Cock Talk

[Endless_Night]

My initial thoughts were that domineering personalities tend to clash, while submissive personalities are much more malleable - they mold into each other for better or worse.

Interesting take, but I'm not sure it's particularly accurate. At least not as a blanket statement.

Despite how I come across on the board, the last thing I am is malleable.

I suspect that holds true with some of the other sexual submissives on the board

 

[morelikeasong]

DOM! These Subs are hot!

Are you sexually more dominant or submissive?

Definitely more submissive

Do you switch from one to the other or always the same?

I switch a little bit. I like to take some control from time to time but generally I want to do that and then have the control taken back from me.

Is your daily persona the opposite of your sexual self? (Are you a power CEO by day, Dungeon submissive by night, etc.?)

Kind of? I’m a stay at home mom so it’s not as if I’m in some high powered role, but I am “in charge” all day every day.

Do you top from the bottom, bottom from the top, like to be in the middle, or what? Also, what does any of that mean?

Uhhhh… maybe? I think those terms mostly make sense in BDSM relationships/agreements. In the past, when I was in a more D/S relationship, I think I did a little “topping from the bottom.” I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a true submissive. I’m just a bottom

How dominant/submissive do you get—are we talking whips and chains, or do you just like being in or out of control?

I don’t know about whips and chains… but I’ll take some spanks and ropes (or ribbons )

What do you like about being the dominant one?

I like to tease a bit. And I really enjoy eliciting sounds of pleasure.
I’ve never used a strap on—with a man or woman—but I could see myself potentially enjoying that.
I could also see myself maybe enjoying a dominant role with a man that wanted to pleasure/worship me. Would be good practice for me verbalizing what I like and want. Not sure how long I could sustain that role though. (And I specify man because, while I could see myself topping a woman with a strap on here and there, I really can’t see myself in any actually dominant role with a woman. Maybe because I have zero experience)

What do you like about being the submissive one?

I like not having to think or plan. Being directed. I like being physically overpowered. I tend to like a more gentle dom/pleasure dom style of being dominated… someone who learns what I like and then uses it to bring me to new heights, so to speak.
And, very importantly, I like feeling safe and protected and taken care of and adored.

Generally speaking, do you consider the person giving the blowjob to be in control, or the person getting the blowjob to be in control?

I don’t think that you can generalize one way or the other—it really depends on the context.
If I’m giving a blow job, I’m the person in control like 95% of the time. It takes a huge amount of trust for me to not be in control over that act.

What submissive act makes you the most curious?

Forced orgasms, shibari (rope ties)

What dominating act makes you the most curious?

Strap on (woman), pegging

 

[Endless_Night]

Is anyone in a relationship where you are both submissive or both dominant? How do you work that out, or would you not be attracted to each other in the first place?

The switches I've known usually skew one way or the other, whether due to situation or personal bent. Too, they've been in relationships that were, for lack of a better word, vanilla.

It would be interesting to hear from a switch with a switch.

 

[EvaLane]

Despite how I come across on the board, the last thing I am is malleable.

I suspect that holds true with some of the other sexual submissives on the board

I more so meant societal ebbs and flows, where domineering personalities (in my experience) clash and submissive personalities (in my experience) find community and strength within each other more often than the former.

I wouldn’t say malleable equates weakness, indecisiveness, or any other demeaning qualities. It’s actually an undervalued strength in my opinion.

 

[Endless_Night]

Uhhhh… maybe? I think those terms mostly make sense in BDSM relationships/agreements. In the past, when I was in a more D/S relationship, I think I did a little “topping from the bottom.” I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a true submissive. I’m just a bottom

There was an ongoing conversation in BDSM on this very subject when I first joined. One long-time member argued that most self-styled submissives were really dominant bottoms. Or even just bottoms.

The conversation was very involved and interesting. And incredibly confusing.

I bounced back and forth, trying to define to the difference and myself. Honestly, I'm still not sure.

I like not having to think or plan. Being directed. I like being physically overpowered.

 

[Endless_Night]

I more so meant societal ebbs and flows, where domineering personalities (in my experience) clash and submissive personalities (in my experience) find community and strength within each other more often than the former.

Ah. I thought you were equating the two personality types with correspondingly labeled power exchange dynamics.

Yes, I would agree.

I wouldn’t say malleable equates weakness, indecisiveness, or any other demeaning qualities. It’s actually an undervalued strength in my opinion.

I don't see it as a weakness. Just attaching it to my own experience in the D/s sexuality.

I am not particularly compliant, generally speaking.

If I become sexually engaged in a D/s way I am still not particularly malleable. I will strive to please a partner, but I absolutely won't make any core changes.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Definitely more submissive

I switch a little bit. I like to take some control from time to time but generally I want to do that and then have the control taken back from me.

Kind of? I’m a stay at home mom so it’s not as if I’m in some high powered role, but I am “in charge” all day every day.

Uhhhh… maybe? I think those terms mostly make sense in BDSM relationships/agreements. In the past, when I was in a more D/S relationship, I think I did a little “topping from the bottom.” I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a true submissive. I’m just a bottom

I don’t know about whips and chains… but I’ll take some spanks and ropes (or ribbons )

I like to tease a bit. And I really enjoy eliciting sounds of pleasure.
I’ve never used a strap on—with a man or woman—but I could see myself potentially enjoying that.
I could also see myself maybe enjoying a dominant role with a man that wanted to pleasure/worship me. Would be good practice for me verbalizing what I like and want. Not sure how long I could sustain that role though. (And I specify man because, while I could see myself topping a woman with a strap on here and there, I really can’t see myself in any actually dominant role with a woman. Maybe because I have zero experience)

I like not having to think or plan. Being directed. I like being physically overpowered. I tend to like a more gentle dom/pleasure dom style of being dominated… someone who learns what I like and then uses it to bring me to new heights, so to speak.
And, very importantly, I like feeling safe and protected and taken care of and adored.

I don’t think that you can generalize one way or the other—it really depends on the context.
If I’m giving a blow job, I’m the person in control like 95% of the time. It takes a huge amount of trust for me to not be in control over that act.

Forced orgasms, shibari (rope ties)

Strap on (woman), pegging

 

[Apisto42]

You know what else I meant to ask in the original question . . .

Is anyone in a relationship where you are both submissive or both dominant? How do you work that out, or would you not be attracted to each other in the first place?

My wife and I are both “dominant” in regular life from the standpoint we know what we want, how we want it and work to get it. It causes a lot of sparks in our relationship, but we’re still hot for each other after 20+ years AND we want to kill each other on a regular basis. So yeah, passion is there in all the ways.

 

[Apisto42]

You know you want to click.
It’s a comedic one.

I have seen the ball kicking videos and I’m not even sure how they’re possible. I used to think they were fake, but they clearly are not.

When the “tap” makes for excruciating pain, I can’t imagine what a full-on nuts kick must feel like—nor do I want to. Why would anyone EVER voluntarily do this?

Hah. Yeah, that’s funny.

In the “hah, look at that, that dude got hit in the nuts” way.

 

[hotwords229_A]

The conquest would be neverending, the clash constant, topping and topping and topping…

And just like that, I’m hard.

My wife and I are both “dominant” in regular life from the standpoint we know what we want, how we want it and work to get it. It causes a lot of sparks in our relationship, but we’re still hot for each other after 20+ years AND we want to kill each other on a regular basis. So yeah, passion is there in all the ways.

I just imagine a scenario where a couple decides to do anal and they both get on the bed and bend over.

 

[hotwords229_A]

A lot of this stuff still confuses me. It also seems like too much thought is going into it.

A switch submissive bottoming from the top in a potential power exchange of egalitarian dominance . . .

Can’t we just fuck?

 

[CJamarous]

Okay, I'm going to throw my two cents worth in, but please take it with a large grain of salt. As I have no RL experience with being a Top or a bottom, being submissive or Dominant, or ever being in an acknowledged, true power exchange in the bedroom. Simply my thoughts on the current conversation thats all

So I consider myself a sub leaning switch. For the longest time (years) I've always wanted to experience having a Mistress, follow her guidance/directions, learn, train, etc. I've always had a thing for older, Dominant, confident, gentle women and I've always felt a desire to please them. Femdom has been at the top of my kink list. Facesittng, lite CBT, pussy/tit/body worship among others. I've admittedly watched a lot of Femdom/Mistress porn, though I rarely watch porn anymore these days. However, through the years of online exploration and talking, sharing and playing with other people I've actually grown quite fond of playing the Dominant role when sexting/cybering. Which has landed me in sub leaning Switch land. There seems to be a plethora of women online who love the submissive role and are very thirsty for a Dominant play partner so, I've indulged them, being the people pleaser I am.

Which brings me to the discussion of power exchange. As I've helped bring many women online over the years to orgasm by playing the Dominant/Top it very often leaves me wondering if I'm truly a Top or a bottom. Am I submissive or Dominant. Or both? (I'm quite convinced it's both at this point). I absolutely relish in knowing I have helped a woman cum. I LOVE the female orgasm and I can't get enough of the moans, the whimpers, the shaking legs. All of it. Its a thing of pure erotic beauty. And it truly does bring me satisfaction anc fulfillment knowing they're satisfied. But then it always leaves me asking myself ...do I happily, and often forgo my own orgasm so that they can cum because I truly want them to have that pleasure? Because I put their orgasm above my own? (Thinking that's the sub in me coming out, doing anything and everything it takes to please them regardless of my own pleasure) Or is it because I want her orgasms for my own selfish pleasures even though I might not cum myself? And then becoming so turned on by her orgasms that I get feral, primal. And then the carnal, more Dominant, engrained natural masculine DNA in me comes out and I'm ravenous for taking what I want and wondering if I'm actually more Dominant than submissive. Wow, and now I'm probably rambling on and not making sense! So I apologize at this point if I'm hard to follow.

So I digress. My whole point being, I think the whole Top/bottom, Dom/sub dynamic and placing attaching labels to ourselves is fluid (not a bad thing) and is on an ever changing spectrum. Blended together based on RL experiences (or lack thereof), fantasies and personality traits. And I for one have REALLY loved the experience of playing with other Switches (albeit online only) because I have found that I LOVE a good power struggle with a partner. I think so much is learned about your partner in this sometimes drawn out, tedious (but oh so worth it), delicious battle for getting what we each want, or what we each give to eachother. I've often wondered if I should also label myself a brat, because I do enjoy teasing and pushing whoever I'm playing with at times just to get what I want, or simply because, its fun and sexy Anyway, I just rambled on for way too long lol and am probably just speaking gibberish at this point so I'm just going to leave this here. Again, these are just my chaotic, can't commit to one thing or another, early morning laying in bed, thoughts. I'm by NO means an expert on any of this.

Happy Thursday everyone! Have a great day!

 

[Endless_Night]

A switch submissive bottoming from the top in a potential power exchange of egalitarian dominance . . .

I nearly spit out my coffee . . . but then started wondering if this doesn't explain our society as a whole.

It's too early for deep thought.

Can’t we just fuck?

No.

 

[deft]

No.

Savage.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

DOM! These Subs are hot!

Are you sexually more dominant or submissive?

Like, I’m not really into the whole “label” thing man. I like to just let people be people you know?

Do you switch from one to the other or always the same?

sometimes I like to tell someone what I want. Sometimes I like to take it. Sometimes I like to give them what they want. Sometimes I want to be shown.

Again I don’t know about this whole label thing.

Is your daily persona the opposite of your sexual self? (Are you a power CEO by day, Dungeon submissive by night, etc.?)

I think I’m just me 24/7 365.

Do you top from the bottom, bottom from the top, like to be in the middle, or what? Also, what does any of that mean?

I don’t know what any of this means.

How dominant/submissive do you get—are we talking whips and chains, or do you just like being in or out of control?

I don’t really use accoutrements

What do you like about being the dominant one?

It is nice to be open about your wants and needs and have someone eagerly want to service those wants and needs.

What do you like about being the submissive one?

It’s a good feeling to have someone trust you enough to share their wants and needs and then it’s even better to help fulfill them.

Generally speaking, do you consider the person giving the blowjob to be in control, or the person getting the blowjob to be in control?

I don’t have strong feelings on this

What submissive act makes you the most curious?

What dominating act makes you the most curious?

What questions do you have about Dom/Sub stuff?

I’m not particularly curious in this way. In general, I don’t care much about a specific act. I like to see where the vibes lead me in any given encounter.

 

[hotoldrguy]

No click! Do not click!

I clicked

 

[hotoldrguy]

What dominating act makes you the most curious?

Strap on (woman), pegging

I have always been curious if the woman wearing the strap on gets any sensation in her genitals from using it. Any users want to comment?

 

[BongoGal]

Generally speaking, do you consider the person giving the blowjob to be in control, or the person getting the blowjob to be in control?

I say the person giving is in control. The giver can go faster or slower, keep going or stop, and even bite down in anger. (The same applies to cunnilingus. As a receiver, I’ve never felt 'in control'. I can give suggestions, but the giver makes it happen.)

 

[CJamarous]

What submissive act makes you the most curious?

Pegging, facesitting/pussy worship and bondage. In that order.

What dominating act makes you the most curious?

Bondage. Forced orgasms/post orgasm torture. CNC. In no particular order

 

[ScarletDaisy]

facesitting/pussy worship

Well this isn't a question I thought I'd be asking.... ever

But....


My follow up question :
So is sitting on someone's face a dominant or submissive act?

 

[hotwords229_A]

even bite down in anger

This, very much so.
If my penis is in your mouth, near your teeth and at your discretion, I really don’t see how I’m in control.

 

[hotoldrguy]

Well this isn't a question I thought I'd be asking.... ever

But....


My follow up question :
So is sitting on someone's face a dominant or submissive act?

good question. In a sense, they are both dominant. While the person sat on can move his tongue and mouth anyway he wants, the person doing the sitting controls the pressure and can move across his face anyway she wants.

 

[CJamarous]

My initial thoughts were that domineering personalities tend to clash, while submissive personalities are much more malleable - they mold into each other for better or worse.

However, 15 seconds or so later I considered the fact that a clash doesn’t necessarily equate disinterest. It actually represents something extremely passionate, which is an inch away from lust (in my experience).

Yes! I agree with this. At first glance, I think its just the natural assumption that submissives will likely be more agreeable and "malleable" as you said. But, at least for the Switches out there, I think this is where that power struggle starts to really heighten the lust, the desire to give in to or resist control or taking control begins to turn into an ever building momentum of sexual energy, curiosity, craving and spontaneous sparks of sordid, deviant chemistry that can only be found in the cat and mouse, bratty, fight for control. Again, I don't know if this even makes sense, but I'm doing my best to capture and explain, at least in my own mind, what I love about two switches playing together and the any number of exciting, delicious outcomes that can take place

 

[pinkparkhorse]

Would I be considered a switch if my behavior depends on the gender of my partner? I’ve become very dominant with men but I like to submit completely to other women.

 

[ScarletDaisy]

good question. In a sense, they are both dominant. While the person sat on can move his tongue and mouth anyway he wants, the person doing the sitting controls the pressure and can move across his face anyway she wants.

So just like the blow job question, the answer is both.

We all sound like attorneys.