Comments on the Updated Stickies!
- Thread starter cellis
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MissTaken
Biker Chick
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My thoughts:
1. Flame threads. Rousing debates are great fun. Personal attacks can be amusing to read, but lead to so much pain for some and embarrassment for the board. I know of at least two threads in the last three days on the GB that poke a large stick in our eye.
Deleting them is a good plan. A better plan is govering ourself and staying out things when we can't add something meaningful. However, that hasn't worked to date.
2. I would love to see something added that simply and clearly states that using common courtesy is recommended.
3. On line/LDR/ Real time....can't we just welcome anyone with serious questions about the lifestyle? Serving on line CAN be equally as confusing, difficult or exciting as real time, barring the physical sensation. It isn't about HOW we practice BDSM, it is that we do. Banning chat room play ad nauseum is cool, but for example, when Vixenshe's on line Dom let her down, why couldn't we have supported her, offered advice or whatever? Neglect by your Dom hurts regardless of the milieu it has taken.
No, on line isn't the same as real time. However, there are issues for those who are seriously involved online versus those playing around, that we could include. Many who enter the lifestyle in skin to skin, now start on line.
Anyone who has a serious investment in the lifestyle should be welcome. Anyone who has a serious question. We can't sit idly by and wait for those who have "graduated" to real time, as they may never return once they get there. The sticky is still too inclusive.
4. I also enjoy about this forum that we don't enter "in role." That would be nice to put in the sticky....It isn't necessary to address Doms with anything other than common respect and courtesy.
5. I love your assessment of the current situation in the first sticky. Thanks RS!
6. We do need either a completely unmoderated board or a board with specific guidelines for moderation. The original "sticky" etc wsa too gray to encompass all the eventualities and that is what we have seen. That was written when the board was small, everyone knew everyone and everyone had a common goal. It just ain't the case anymore. So, guidelines to promote serious discussion and guidelines that are clear and moderatable? lol Well, good show. Those who can't take the heat.....
*smirks*
1. Flame threads. Rousing debates are great fun. Personal attacks can be amusing to read, but lead to so much pain for some and embarrassment for the board. I know of at least two threads in the last three days on the GB that poke a large stick in our eye.
Deleting them is a good plan. A better plan is govering ourself and staying out things when we can't add something meaningful. However, that hasn't worked to date.
2. I would love to see something added that simply and clearly states that using common courtesy is recommended.
3. On line/LDR/ Real time....can't we just welcome anyone with serious questions about the lifestyle? Serving on line CAN be equally as confusing, difficult or exciting as real time, barring the physical sensation. It isn't about HOW we practice BDSM, it is that we do. Banning chat room play ad nauseum is cool, but for example, when Vixenshe's on line Dom let her down, why couldn't we have supported her, offered advice or whatever? Neglect by your Dom hurts regardless of the milieu it has taken.
No, on line isn't the same as real time. However, there are issues for those who are seriously involved online versus those playing around, that we could include. Many who enter the lifestyle in skin to skin, now start on line.
Anyone who has a serious investment in the lifestyle should be welcome. Anyone who has a serious question. We can't sit idly by and wait for those who have "graduated" to real time, as they may never return once they get there. The sticky is still too inclusive.
4. I also enjoy about this forum that we don't enter "in role." That would be nice to put in the sticky....It isn't necessary to address Doms with anything other than common respect and courtesy.
5. I love your assessment of the current situation in the first sticky. Thanks RS!
6. We do need either a completely unmoderated board or a board with specific guidelines for moderation. The original "sticky" etc wsa too gray to encompass all the eventualities and that is what we have seen. That was written when the board was small, everyone knew everyone and everyone had a common goal. It just ain't the case anymore. So, guidelines to promote serious discussion and guidelines that are clear and moderatable? lol Well, good show. Those who can't take the heat.....
*smirks*
RisiaSkye
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Eb, Red Menace and Rose: thanks.
MissT, since we started corresponding by PM about this before I saw your post here, I'll let my private remarks stand unless you'd prefer to address them in the thread. It's your call, I'm fine either way, so long as we address your concerns.
Best to you all,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator
MissT, since we started corresponding by PM about this before I saw your post here, I'll let my private remarks stand unless you'd prefer to address them in the thread. It's your call, I'm fine either way, so long as we address your concerns.
Best to you all,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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As you so kindly pointed out, I think some of my comments were meant for the community at large.
Oh, and remember, RS , as yuo plod through this project, you can't please all fo the people all of the time.
Furthermore, if you were to do so today, it would turn into another travesty two or three months down the road when faces change.
hugs
Oh, and remember, RS , as yuo plod through this project, you can't please all fo the people all of the time.
Furthermore, if you were to do so today, it would turn into another travesty two or three months down the road when faces change.
hugs
MysCynthia
Experienced
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RisiaSkye said:
Thank you for finally taking control back. Can I call you the Board Domme? LOL
For those of us who want serious, or sometimes not so serious, discussion of issues relevant to us the flame wars have been a real disruption/distraction.
I love the information I find here. I love hearing others opinions and experiences (online, RL or just plain fantasy) What I've come to hate is the monopolizing of the threads by people who just want to match wit. It was semi-amusing at first but has gotten totally out of hand; like a room full of over tired three year olds.
So thank you again for getting the old whip out. It is needed.
Cyn
Sandia
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I'd argue that the main problem is, was, and will be favoritism.
Simpler rules, and fewer of them, help avoid that problem.
The more judgment that's required, the more likely the problem is to surface.
A judge will recuse herself if, for example, she's personal friends with one of the parties to a case.
That ain't gonna happen here, for obvious reasons. But that's one of the reasons I'd argue a mod can do more here by doing less.
Simpler rules, and fewer of them, help avoid that problem.
The more judgment that's required, the more likely the problem is to surface.
A judge will recuse herself if, for example, she's personal friends with one of the parties to a case.
That ain't gonna happen here, for obvious reasons. But that's one of the reasons I'd argue a mod can do more here by doing less.
A Desert Rose
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Sandia said:
Yes, I agree. Sandia is a real wise guy. And Lance has been saying this same thing for a while. too.
Rose
A Desert Rose
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Red Menace said:
No, You are not in the minority, at least regarding this statement.
I agree with you totally.
Rose
luvsubbbbb
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i am encouraged by what i am seeing.........
since my last post of almost a week ago supporting the moderators efforts at passionately pursuing their respective visions i have not posted a single word to this board..........
i suppose it was my way of protesting what i felt the board was becoming..........and i chose not to be part of it.......i used the time to read and observe, however........and now i have a greater appreciation of the dynamics of this board and the people in it.........
i am pleased to see that people generally across the board are seemingly endorsing the new sticky.......and i believe it is a credit to you, Risia, and shows that you have also observed........and listened........and acted.......carefully
i am encouraged to see that moderators on Lit DO, in fact, have power....(as previously all i was hearing was that the Mods had none....and thus it seemed like agreeing to moderate this board was bound to be a frustrating exercise in futility........)
i think that the more inclusionary this forum is, the more it will take the edge off of the words of those who proclaim to enjoy a good fight, running roughshod over people's feelings in the name of free speech.........
there is no reason why a person who says that their BDSM is restricted to the bedroom should not feel comfortable in a forum populated mostly by "skin-to-skin" practitioners.......(and besides, does not "bedroom activity" kinda qualify as skin-to-skin?
)
i think it is only natural that anyone who holds BDSM interest close to their heart will applaud the keeping of order for the benefit of the group..........part of the fabric of BDSM is the showing of respect to others........
i hereby beg the Dominants of this board to join the submissives in "submitting to the new sticky".....no one will think You any less of a Dom/me or even accuse You of being a switch!....i promise!
good luck to all.......
RisiaSkye said:
since my last post of almost a week ago supporting the moderators efforts at passionately pursuing their respective visions i have not posted a single word to this board..........
i suppose it was my way of protesting what i felt the board was becoming..........and i chose not to be part of it.......i used the time to read and observe, however........and now i have a greater appreciation of the dynamics of this board and the people in it.........
i am pleased to see that people generally across the board are seemingly endorsing the new sticky.......and i believe it is a credit to you, Risia, and shows that you have also observed........and listened........and acted.......carefully
i am encouraged to see that moderators on Lit DO, in fact, have power....(as previously all i was hearing was that the Mods had none....and thus it seemed like agreeing to moderate this board was bound to be a frustrating exercise in futility........)
i think that the more inclusionary this forum is, the more it will take the edge off of the words of those who proclaim to enjoy a good fight, running roughshod over people's feelings in the name of free speech.........
there is no reason why a person who says that their BDSM is restricted to the bedroom should not feel comfortable in a forum populated mostly by "skin-to-skin" practitioners.......(and besides, does not "bedroom activity" kinda qualify as skin-to-skin?
)i think it is only natural that anyone who holds BDSM interest close to their heart will applaud the keeping of order for the benefit of the group..........part of the fabric of BDSM is the showing of respect to others........
i hereby beg the Dominants of this board to join the submissives in "submitting to the new sticky".....no one will think You any less of a Dom/me or even accuse You of being a switch!....i promise!
good luck to all.......
My opinions
1. I think the flame wars should be deleted or the threads should be locked (If the threads contained valuable content before the war broke out). How do you know when a disagreement turns into a flame? When name-calling, threats, or disruption of other threads is caused because a flamer has followed the *target* to continue the barrage of insults (I would delete the offending post if this occurred).
My vote is to add to the rules: 6. No Flaming/name-calling/personal insults
It seems to me that one of the differences between the d/s lifestyle and a *regular* lifestyle is the strict requirement of respect, honor, and self-control. Of course we can't delegate personal qualities, and many in the lifestyle do not possess these qualities, but I think it is in keeping with the genre of this forum to require accountable behavior and language.
2. I posted a concern about the language of the sticky in my introduction when I first visited here. My issue was with the term bdsm sexuality as, for me, bdsm is my lifestyle not necessarily my playstyle. My fear was that this board was a kinked GB, with discussion focused on the how-to of implements/toys, and had no interest in lifestyle discussion/concerns. Would the statement still have the desired meaning if the term *sexuality* was left out?
*In this forum, our focus is on BDSM as it’s played out in real life, skin-to- skin (sic, a space after that dash) (face-to-face sounds better to me) relationships.*
Actually that is a bit redundant. How about:
*In this forum, our focus is on BDSM relationships (sexual or lifestyle), as they are played out in real life. We welcome those whose experience may be limited to online contact, or even to their own fantasy life. However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and lifestyle rather than on BDSM as a variation of fantasy. We’re not a chat room nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM dialogue, personally directed flame wars, or other off- topic material dominates our threads and permeates our discussions.*
This, in my opinion, is much more inclusive.
3. I feel that the comment - "We’re not a chat room nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM dialogue, personally directed flame wars, or other off- topic material dominates our threads and permeates our discussions." - is ambiguous.
The first comment that we are not a chat room gives the impression that personal conversation, friendliness, and mild flirting is not welcome here.
The paragraph goes on to state that "chat room type BDSM dialogue..." is not welcome here, but does not state what is meant by "chat room type BDSM dialogue." Are you referring to the upper/lower case pronouns? (btw, this one squicks me) Are you referring to a form of address where one addresses a dom/me as Sir or Ma'am (this one makes me laugh because this is done just because someone's id is capped, not because it has been earned) and a sub is addressed using lower case for the id (disrespectful and objectifying, in my opinion)? All of the above?
Much of the chat room dialogue protocols do occur in this forum. I have seen many use Y/you, My/your, U/us, and W/we. I have also noticed that some of the dom/mes use lower case when addressing some of the subs. So, the purpose of that statement in the sticky is unclear.
What is off-topic?
I would suggest something more specific.
4. This statement - " However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and lifestyle rather than on BDSM as a variation of fantasy." - would disqualify me as being welcomed here. BDSM sexuality is a variation in my life, it is not the mainstay of our sexual expression. (have I misunderstood the meaning here? what is variation of fantasy? did you mean to use *or* instead of *of*?)
My suggestion (rough draft):
In this forum, our focus is on BDSM relationships (sexual or lifestyle), as they are played out in real life. We welcome those whose experience may be limited to online contact or even to their own fantasy life. However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and/or lifestyle rather than on BDSM as a fantasy or online-only role-play.
We’re not a BDSM chat room - we are not *in role* here - nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM protocol is required or encouraged. For example - using upper/lower case for pronouns (W/we, I/i, My/yours) or for user names (Dom Sir and sub girl) - is not encouraged here. We do not enjoy nor condone personally directed flame wars or other off- topic material (excessive flirting or personal conversation that interrupts serious topics), and will not allow it to dominate our threads and permeate our discussions.
Risia, I understand that you can't please everyone and I do not mean to nitpick. My purpose in writing this is simply to weigh in with my opinion and let you tally the votes in whatever manner you see fit. I am satisfied that your decision will be as fair as possible.
1. I think the flame wars should be deleted or the threads should be locked (If the threads contained valuable content before the war broke out). How do you know when a disagreement turns into a flame? When name-calling, threats, or disruption of other threads is caused because a flamer has followed the *target* to continue the barrage of insults (I would delete the offending post if this occurred).
My vote is to add to the rules: 6. No Flaming/name-calling/personal insults
It seems to me that one of the differences between the d/s lifestyle and a *regular* lifestyle is the strict requirement of respect, honor, and self-control. Of course we can't delegate personal qualities, and many in the lifestyle do not possess these qualities, but I think it is in keeping with the genre of this forum to require accountable behavior and language.
2. I posted a concern about the language of the sticky in my introduction when I first visited here. My issue was with the term bdsm sexuality as, for me, bdsm is my lifestyle not necessarily my playstyle. My fear was that this board was a kinked GB, with discussion focused on the how-to of implements/toys, and had no interest in lifestyle discussion/concerns. Would the statement still have the desired meaning if the term *sexuality* was left out?
*In this forum, our focus is on BDSM as it’s played out in real life, skin-to- skin (sic, a space after that dash) (face-to-face sounds better to me) relationships.*
Actually that is a bit redundant. How about:
*In this forum, our focus is on BDSM relationships (sexual or lifestyle), as they are played out in real life. We welcome those whose experience may be limited to online contact, or even to their own fantasy life. However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and lifestyle rather than on BDSM as a variation of fantasy. We’re not a chat room nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM dialogue, personally directed flame wars, or other off- topic material dominates our threads and permeates our discussions.*
This, in my opinion, is much more inclusive.
3. I feel that the comment - "We’re not a chat room nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM dialogue, personally directed flame wars, or other off- topic material dominates our threads and permeates our discussions." - is ambiguous.
The first comment that we are not a chat room gives the impression that personal conversation, friendliness, and mild flirting is not welcome here.
The paragraph goes on to state that "chat room type BDSM dialogue..." is not welcome here, but does not state what is meant by "chat room type BDSM dialogue." Are you referring to the upper/lower case pronouns? (btw, this one squicks me) Are you referring to a form of address where one addresses a dom/me as Sir or Ma'am (this one makes me laugh because this is done just because someone's id is capped, not because it has been earned) and a sub is addressed using lower case for the id (disrespectful and objectifying, in my opinion)? All of the above?
Much of the chat room dialogue protocols do occur in this forum. I have seen many use Y/you, My/your, U/us, and W/we. I have also noticed that some of the dom/mes use lower case when addressing some of the subs. So, the purpose of that statement in the sticky is unclear.
What is off-topic?
I would suggest something more specific.
4. This statement - " However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and lifestyle rather than on BDSM as a variation of fantasy." - would disqualify me as being welcomed here. BDSM sexuality is a variation in my life, it is not the mainstay of our sexual expression. (have I misunderstood the meaning here? what is variation of fantasy? did you mean to use *or* instead of *of*?)
My suggestion (rough draft):
In this forum, our focus is on BDSM relationships (sexual or lifestyle), as they are played out in real life. We welcome those whose experience may be limited to online contact or even to their own fantasy life. However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and/or lifestyle rather than on BDSM as a fantasy or online-only role-play.
We’re not a BDSM chat room - we are not *in role* here - nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM protocol is required or encouraged. For example - using upper/lower case for pronouns (W/we, I/i, My/yours) or for user names (Dom Sir and sub girl) - is not encouraged here. We do not enjoy nor condone personally directed flame wars or other off- topic material (excessive flirting or personal conversation that interrupts serious topics), and will not allow it to dominate our threads and permeate our discussions.
Risia, I understand that you can't please everyone and I do not mean to nitpick. My purpose in writing this is simply to weigh in with my opinion and let you tally the votes in whatever manner you see fit. I am satisfied that your decision will be as fair as possible.
Last edited:
RisiaSkye
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MysCynthia said:
LOL. Please *don't* call me the board Domme. I'm a Switch, and I prefer to stick to what I *actually* am.
Make no mistake, though. That doesn't mean I'm uncomfortable holding the whip when necessary.
And thanks for the support.
RS, FM
RisiaSkye
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Sandia said:
I've never been much of a censor, Sandia, and I don't plan to start now. I really can't see this being much of an issue.
I *do* understand your concerns, though, and where (and with whom) they began. All I can really say about that is that people are individuals; give me a chance, get to know me, see where this goes and what results. I think you'll find I'm not quite the harridan that I've occasionally been painted as.
Best to you & thanks for you contribution,
RS, FM
RisiaSkye
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Re: i am encouraged by what i am seeing.........
Well, it can be that at times--a frustrating and futile exercise. That's always the case, I think, when you try to impose order on an essentially chaotic and formless project.
But, thank you nonetheless.
I think the primary issue has been with *online* relationships vs. bodily interaction, ls. Bedroom practitioners haven't, for the most part, had any significant problems with the previous language. As you point out, bedroom practices ARE skin2skin.
Thank you for the support, luvsubb. Good to see you back.
Best to you,
RS, FM
luvsubbbbb said:
Well, it can be that at times--a frustrating and futile exercise. That's always the case, I think, when you try to impose order on an essentially chaotic and formless project.
But, thank you nonetheless.
(Not in my mod guise)i think that the more inclusionary this forum is, the more it will take the edge off of the words of those who proclaim to enjoy a good fight, running roughshod over people's feelings in the name of free speech.........
there is no reason why a person who says that their BDSM is restricted to the bedroom should not feel comfortable in a forum populated mostly by "skin-to-skin" practitioners.......(and besides, does not "bedroom activity" kinda qualify as skin-to-skin?
I think the primary issue has been with *online* relationships vs. bodily interaction, ls. Bedroom practitioners haven't, for the most part, had any significant problems with the previous language. As you point out, bedroom practices ARE skin2skin.
i think it is only natural that anyone who holds BDSM interest close to their heart will applaud the keeping of order for the benefit of the group..........part of the fabric of BDSM is the showing of respect to others........
i hereby beg the Dominants of this board to join the submissives in "submitting to the new sticky".....no one will think You any less of a Dom/me or even accuse You of being a switch!....i promise!
good luck to all.......
Thank you for the support, luvsubb. Good to see you back.
Best to you,
RS, FM
RisiaSkye
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MsWorthy said:
The reason not to add this rule is that I wish to impede free expression as little as possible. But, I understand its utility, if this were a less free-expression oriented site. As it stands, using my judgement to step in when things get out of hand is a less than perfect model, but it's *more* free than simply saying "no flaming."
You raise some valid issues about clarity, MsW. They are issues which echo the points raised by Lancecastor and others about the specific language of the sticky, which seems to be (if you'll pardon the pun) our biggest "sticking point." There are some ways in which I like your revision better than my previous draft, and I'll be incorporating them into the next draft.
Thank you for your comments and thorough notes.
Best to you,
RS, FM
Persephone36
Literotica Guru
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I just want to thank you Risia for taking the time and patience to readress the sticky issues -- and for truly including the membership's comments.
I know the things that popped in my mind were all addressed quite well by others.
So, I simply wanted to say how much I respect what you've accomplished and the tone you're laying forth.
P.
I know the things that popped in my mind were all addressed quite well by others.
So, I simply wanted to say how much I respect what you've accomplished and the tone you're laying forth.
P.
Lancecastor
Lit's Most Beloved Poster
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Having read this thread again, and after having given the matter some more thought, I'd like to add the following to the discussion:
* Free speech: Lit is founded on Free Speech as interpreted by the First Amendment to the Consitution of the USA. Lit without Free Speech is not Lit. Therefore, the more Rules you have, the more likely it is the people who hang out at Lit because it is a Free Speech forum will object, not participate, and flame the BDSM Forum. If you delete those threads, my guess is one day Laurel will simply unmoderate the place or fold it back in under the GB.
* Inclusive/Exclusive: It is a misnomer to say we are Inclusive....then set out a list of things we won't abide with here. So, either Inclusiveness is embraced, or you become Exclusive and set out what is and is not welcome here. Again, that would likely mean the Disclaimer regarding Free Speech to the left of every Post drafting page would be effectively considered meaningless....and I don't see Laurel going for that.
* Rules vs Suggestions: A free speech internet pron board is, I suggest , no place for formal rules....you are wasting your time. A more likely path for success in terms of fostering cogent, reasoned, rational discussion of matters directly and indirectly relating to BDSM would be to draft a Welcome message with Suggestions on where to go depending on what you are seeking. I would recommend including links to material on Netiquette, BDSM, Flaming, Chat, etc....and allowing chatty/flamy threads to thrive and run their course....because it's going to happen anyway now and then, so you either allow it a voice and place or it will surely fiond its way into the serious threads more often than you like. Human behavior. Same goes for the *hugs* and *support* threads people have expressed a need for. This isn't The Library of Congress. Strike a middle ground. Fewer Rules. Drop the previous Hidden Agenda as a Safe Haven for Subs....or go public with it and defend it mightily.
Just be real and sensible and open.
People will catch on.
Cheers;
Lance
* Free speech: Lit is founded on Free Speech as interpreted by the First Amendment to the Consitution of the USA. Lit without Free Speech is not Lit. Therefore, the more Rules you have, the more likely it is the people who hang out at Lit because it is a Free Speech forum will object, not participate, and flame the BDSM Forum. If you delete those threads, my guess is one day Laurel will simply unmoderate the place or fold it back in under the GB.
* Inclusive/Exclusive: It is a misnomer to say we are Inclusive....then set out a list of things we won't abide with here. So, either Inclusiveness is embraced, or you become Exclusive and set out what is and is not welcome here. Again, that would likely mean the Disclaimer regarding Free Speech to the left of every Post drafting page would be effectively considered meaningless....and I don't see Laurel going for that.
* Rules vs Suggestions: A free speech internet pron board is, I suggest , no place for formal rules....you are wasting your time. A more likely path for success in terms of fostering cogent, reasoned, rational discussion of matters directly and indirectly relating to BDSM would be to draft a Welcome message with Suggestions on where to go depending on what you are seeking. I would recommend including links to material on Netiquette, BDSM, Flaming, Chat, etc....and allowing chatty/flamy threads to thrive and run their course....because it's going to happen anyway now and then, so you either allow it a voice and place or it will surely fiond its way into the serious threads more often than you like. Human behavior. Same goes for the *hugs* and *support* threads people have expressed a need for. This isn't The Library of Congress. Strike a middle ground. Fewer Rules. Drop the previous Hidden Agenda as a Safe Haven for Subs....or go public with it and defend it mightily.
Just be real and sensible and open.
People will catch on.
Cheers;
Lance
artful
*His eyes as an Eagle's*
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RS
I fully support your efforts and time to address the recent problems we have suffered in our Forum. The changes you have made in the sticky, I think, were done well.
I would caution making any more changes at this time. Sure, perfection is what we all strive for, but too many changes at one time, doesn't allow us to SEE the affects of positive versus negative.
I recommend changing as needs are perceived, but in baby steps. Board members should feel FREE to post their suggestions to this thread, and/or be allowed to voice their opinions as they see fit.
I suggest waiting 90 days,...see how things go, and if necessary, make adjustments that are deemed necessary by popular opinion. After all, board members are the ones who the Forum was created for,(not just a select few).
As far as the tally goes, put me down for, "Job well done."-Thanks
(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.
I fully support your efforts and time to address the recent problems we have suffered in our Forum. The changes you have made in the sticky, I think, were done well.
I would caution making any more changes at this time. Sure, perfection is what we all strive for, but too many changes at one time, doesn't allow us to SEE the affects of positive versus negative.
I recommend changing as needs are perceived, but in baby steps. Board members should feel FREE to post their suggestions to this thread, and/or be allowed to voice their opinions as they see fit.
I suggest waiting 90 days,...see how things go, and if necessary, make adjustments that are deemed necessary by popular opinion. After all, board members are the ones who the Forum was created for,(not just a select few).
As far as the tally goes, put me down for, "Job well done."-Thanks
(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.
G
Guest
Guest
Another persepective ...
would be to:
Move the three link referrences over to the top of NemoAlia's thread, the "BDSM Talk Library ", and omit it from the welcome thread.
Omit all of the following:
In this forum, our focus is on BDSM sexuality as it’s played out in skin-to-skin relationships. We welcome those whose experience may be limited to online contact, or even to their own fantasy life. However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and/or lifestyle rather than on BDSM as unexpressed fantasy or a variety of online role-play.
Why differentiate? Many, if not most, BDSM participants first learned and practiced the lifestyle through online interaction. To invalidate their input on this forum is not only judgemental, but exclusionary. Frankly, the attitude (of questioning/invalidating a poster's BDSM worth in comparison to one's own) is one that has plagued this forum for too long.
We’re not a BDSM chat room - we are not *in role* here - nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM protocol is either required or encouraged. For example - using upper/lower case for pronouns (W/we, I/i, My/yours) or for user names (Dom Sir and sub girl) - is not encouraged here. This is also not an appropriate venue for role-play scening.
As with any bulletin board/forum, posters will soon adopt similar writing styles as they become part of the community. Additionally, in a community of frequent posters, chatlike threads cannot be avoided. The solution is simple: if you don't wish to participate in such interaction, don't open the thread. Hardly something that should be moderated as "not encouraged" in a welcoming thread. Same goes for role-play venue, if you don't like it, don't read it. By leaving these options open to the inclusiveness of the forum, threads of that nature will either drop like a stone to oblivion, or be participated in by interested parties. Let the community decide.
We do not enjoy nor condone personally directed flame wars or other off- topic material (excessive flirting or personal conversation that interrupts serious topics), and will not allow it to dominate our threads and permeate our discussions.
See above.
As example, Lance's thread had heavy participation and views posted, until the community aired all that there was to say. The Rick DeVille threads dropped like a bomb. The community at large interacted willingly, in both instances.
Risia, I'm not faulting you for trying to set some limits for the good of the community. However, we are adults and we don't need a moderator to babysit. We don't need a moderator to scold a poster for using a naughty word. We don't need a moderator to give warning of the direction a thread is going (as you did recently in the Apology thread). We are capable enough to determine what threads we wish to participate in, what threads we can tolerate (or not) and what direction the forum will blossom into without moderator interaction.
Stick to moderating the rules as listed on the top of the thread (the same rules that apply to all Literotica forums), let the community moderate the rest with their participation, or lack thereof.
would be to:
Move the three link referrences over to the top of NemoAlia's thread, the "BDSM Talk Library ", and omit it from the welcome thread.
Omit all of the following:
In this forum, our focus is on BDSM sexuality as it’s played out in skin-to-skin relationships. We welcome those whose experience may be limited to online contact, or even to their own fantasy life. However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and/or lifestyle rather than on BDSM as unexpressed fantasy or a variety of online role-play.
Why differentiate? Many, if not most, BDSM participants first learned and practiced the lifestyle through online interaction. To invalidate their input on this forum is not only judgemental, but exclusionary. Frankly, the attitude (of questioning/invalidating a poster's BDSM worth in comparison to one's own) is one that has plagued this forum for too long.
We’re not a BDSM chat room - we are not *in role* here - nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM protocol is either required or encouraged. For example - using upper/lower case for pronouns (W/we, I/i, My/yours) or for user names (Dom Sir and sub girl) - is not encouraged here. This is also not an appropriate venue for role-play scening.
As with any bulletin board/forum, posters will soon adopt similar writing styles as they become part of the community. Additionally, in a community of frequent posters, chatlike threads cannot be avoided. The solution is simple: if you don't wish to participate in such interaction, don't open the thread. Hardly something that should be moderated as "not encouraged" in a welcoming thread. Same goes for role-play venue, if you don't like it, don't read it. By leaving these options open to the inclusiveness of the forum, threads of that nature will either drop like a stone to oblivion, or be participated in by interested parties. Let the community decide.
We do not enjoy nor condone personally directed flame wars or other off- topic material (excessive flirting or personal conversation that interrupts serious topics), and will not allow it to dominate our threads and permeate our discussions.
See above.
As example, Lance's thread had heavy participation and views posted, until the community aired all that there was to say. The Rick DeVille threads dropped like a bomb. The community at large interacted willingly, in both instances.
Risia, I'm not faulting you for trying to set some limits for the good of the community. However, we are adults and we don't need a moderator to babysit. We don't need a moderator to scold a poster for using a naughty word. We don't need a moderator to give warning of the direction a thread is going (as you did recently in the Apology thread). We are capable enough to determine what threads we wish to participate in, what threads we can tolerate (or not) and what direction the forum will blossom into without moderator interaction.
Stick to moderating the rules as listed on the top of the thread (the same rules that apply to all Literotica forums), let the community moderate the rest with their participation, or lack thereof.
Sandia
Very Experienced
- Joined
- May 24, 2002
- Posts
- 6,461
RisiaSkye said:
I appreciate the time and effort you've put into this board, Risia, and i recognize you won't please everyone. I just wanna add my "vote," or at least my voice, to those who favor fewer restrictions over more. I haven't seen much in the way of censorship here, and I appreciate that. I'd like to see that tradition continued. (If you think the "flames" have been bad til now...
...wait til folks get pissed off over that issue.)
Lancecastor
Lit's Most Beloved Poster
- Joined
- May 14, 2002
- Posts
- 54,670
Well whoever posted those observations had his/her head screwed on straight.
So it obviously wasn't me. Ha!
Lance
So it obviously wasn't me. Ha!
Lance
Cherry said:
