Confessional Booth

Have I ever told you how much I love you-
-r sense of humour and inate ability
to make people feel better? I do,
this :heart:'s for you.

:eek:

Thank you. Now pardon me while I perv on Ange in jailbait mode.

:D

Actually, I had a pretty awful moment recently when MIS' jailbait cousin decided that I was reeeeeeeally interesting. Apparently the idea that I was already okay with the age difference between MIS and myself meant that I might look at her. Pardon me while I hide behind my glass of store-bought Arizona iced tea (because there is no fresh-brewed iced tea in the entire state of New York that rises above "swill" as a descriptor). Though I probably related that in a Bistro post, I just had a flashback to that moment for some reason.

My brain needs to NOT jump tracks like that. It is safe to perv on Ange. That pic is from *ahem* a few years ago. She's legal now. Changing thought tracks while perving to someone that skeeves me out is a BAD thing.
 
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:eek:

Thank you. Now pardon me while I perv on Ange in jailbait mode.

:D

Actually, I had a pretty awful moment recently when MIS' jailbait cousin decided that I was reeeeeeeally interesting. Apparently the idea that I was already okay with the age difference between MIS and myself meant that I might look at her. Pardon me while I hide behind my glass of store-bought Arizona iced tea (because there is no fresh-brewed iced tea in the entire state of New York that rises above "swill" as a descriptor). Though I probably related that in a Bistro post, I just had a flashback to that moment for some reason.

My brain needs to NOT jump tracks like that. It is safe to perv on Ange. That pic is from *ahem* a few years ago. She's legal now. Changing thought tracks while perving to someone that skeeves me out is a BAD thing.

Hmmmmph. I was 18 in that photo! (Just...)
 
No kidding! You can't even really see all of it in that pic, but you get the idea. :eek:
The glasses really make the picture.
I recently shared a really old photo album with Hugo. He was shocked by my huge 80s hair and giant glasses. I wish I still had those glasses!
 
why can't a cock be a cock?

I like how long it's been a cock
and always how big and round
I cannot say that I like
how when he walks
it dangles and scrapes the ground.

But, monkey knuckles and gorilla feet
should brush the forest floor
and when his cock fucks into me,
I'll scream and shout for more.

Hop on cock
though cock shouts,
Stop! Stop, don't hop
on cock, instead let cock
drop a load in you


It's not enough to say it's cock
the verse must always rhyme
for such a character is best unlocked
when Suessified all the time

Cock, rock, stock and sock; mock
this talk about a cock
since my poems all rock
even though they're stock
in a drawer of socks.

This is a wonderful, joyful rhyme. Way too much fun.
As penance, I suggest you spend fifteen minutes contemplating
arooster.jpg
THIS:

I actually went to my prom with Bukowski. Really! Ok, never mind that I don't even remember his real first name. Everyone always called him Skip. Skippy Bukowski. (I also dated an Einstein but his first name wasn't Albert.)

So Skippy was in my French class and I noticed he had my name all over his book cover. And then he asked me to the prom. I wasn't even planning on going because most of my friends were older, out of high school and I was a hippie girl anyway and hippie girls are not into proms. But Skippy was very persistent and I agreed.

My mother wouldn't get me a new gown. She made me wear the same one my sisten had worn four years before. It was orange. Orange is my least favorite color. As in I hate it. So already I was going to something I didn't really think I'd like, in a dress I hated and with a boy named Skippy I had very ambivalent feelings about. My night of golden memories. :D

And then there was my hair. It was then (as it is again now) to my waist. And I have really thick hair. A lot of hair. It took the hairdresser over three hours to get it all up. It was massive. And it had orange doodads in it.

Skippy picked me up (we double dated with a a boy and his girlfriend who actually had a car). The prom was boring. I remember I spent most of the time in the ladies room because my big hair was teetering on my head, threatening to fall over. There were many bobby pins involved. Maybe I needed flying buttresses in my tresses.

After the prom we went to the Hawaii Cottage, which was as over the top as it sounds. It was shaped like a big pineapple and had tiki gods and drinks (you could drink when you were 18 then) in hollowed out pineapples and coconuts with many umbrellas. There were leis and contests and oh god it was strange. Then we went to the beach. This is a very New Jersey thing to do: you go to the beach after your prom to watch the sun rise. Skippy turned off the Beatles on the radio to put doo-wop on. That was it for me. No Beatles! Skippy was done!

It took three days for my hair to get back to normal.

No penance for me. Jews don't do confession and penance.

Whaddya mean Jews don't do penance. OY! Penance is our life. Mom starts extracting penance the day we're born. Sweetie they call it penance, we call it life. Or guilt manipulation. Or passive aggression. Or being the children of Jewish-American parents. Or something.
And regarding confession? You know the way...deny, deny, deny.
 
Okay bijou, you will be resolved of your terrible sin against Guy but you must find the most uncomfortable pair of heels you own ( if you don't own heels, old boots will do) and walk through your home, counterclockwise three times on the next full moon while chanting, There is no yard gnome, there is no yard gnome.


peace, sister. may all your dreams be wild with beauty in shades of red and green.

:rose:

NJ, that is completely and thoroughly perfect. I frikken' LOVE that penance.
You're good at this! You should be the resident Confessor Priestess in here.

And the heels are a good punishment. I got a bunch of girl shoes
from a friend after Poolapoopapalooza, which was a special disaster
a year ago which took all my shoes. Amanda is a real estate agent
and one of those 'shoe girls' and gave me a whole bunch of weird
high-heeled girl shoes that make me insane. I don't even know how to
wear them - i had to ask, do I need to wear pantyhose with these, or
what? There's a pair of tall burgundy pumps that I despise, so I guess it'll
be those...

I will absolutely and totally do this. The next full moon is July 18.
I can even walk round outside, since we live far enough out that
no one can see us from the road or the neighbors.

There is no yard gnome. There is no yard gnome.


And Anschul, that is a HUGE COCK.
Bet you love it when grrrls say that to you.
bj
 
The glasses really make the picture.
I recently shared a really old photo album with Hugo. He was shocked by my huge 80s hair and giant glasses. I wish I still had those glasses!

I have another pic of me from then that I put next to this pic of ee. We'd have made such a cute hippie couple. Now we're an old hippie couple. :D
 
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pssst, hey kids!

the BDSM forum may not have a Bistro yet, but someone's obviously
paying attention, cause they opened a Confessional Booth last night.

look! We're role models! LAWLZ!

bj
 
I have another pic of me from then that I put next to this pic of ee. We'd have made such a cute hippie couple. Now we're an old hippie couple. :D
Oh, I love that pic! Yes, he looks like a hippie -- a cute one. :D
 
You're joking I was a mess of nerves and I'm not doing it again even if Bijou double treble dares me again!!

BTW I haven't seen a cock that fine for a long while
 
You're joking I was a mess of nerves and I'm not doing it again even if Bijou double treble dares me again!!

BTW I haven't seen a cock that fine for a long while

What's my penance for being a bad influence?

Does it matter that I'm not at all sorry? And I'd do it again in a heartbeat?

bj
 
Absolutely noooooo sexual contact for ohhhhhh shall we say 3 days?

o HELL no. No fricken way. I have a date tonight. I'm not THAT devoted to penance.

(that's what I said to the Catholic priest, too. That's why they put a warning flyer up about me in the sacristy.)

bj
 
bj go three days without sexual contact, I think hell would freeze over:devil: No your true pennance is to watch all those that you have courpted/set free having a good time, and you have to not smile, that is your pennance
 
bj go three days without sexual contact, I think hell would freeze over:devil: No your true pennance is to watch all those that you have courpted/set free having a good time, and you have to not smile, that is your pennance

*trying to look terribly serious*

*failing miserably*

oh well. guess I shall remain un-absolved.

bj
 
NJ, that is completely and thoroughly perfect. I frikken' LOVE that penance.
You're good at this! You should be the resident Confessor Priestess in here.

And the heels are a good punishment. I got a bunch of girl shoes
from a friend after Poolapoopapalooza, which was a special disaster
a year ago which took all my shoes. Amanda is a real estate agent
and one of those 'shoe girls' and gave me a whole bunch of weird
high-heeled girl shoes that make me insane. I don't even know how to
wear them - i had to ask, do I need to wear pantyhose with these, or
what? There's a pair of tall burgundy pumps that I despise, so I guess it'll
be those...

I will absolutely and totally do this. The next full moon is July 18.
I can even walk round outside, since we live far enough out that
no one can see us from the road or the neighbors.

There is no yard gnome. There is no yard gnome.


And Anschul, that is a HUGE COCK.
Bet you love it when grrrls say that to you.
bj

oh, huge sigh of relief here. I was afraid I might have insulted you when I said the shoe thing, but you never have seemed like a shoe freak to me. I hate them myself. I would rather be barefoot all the time.

I have to admit though, that when I signed back in last night and saw that *blasphemy* comment right after mine, my heart did a little back flip and all sorts of Baptists instilled guilt and visions of hellfire and brimstone came flashing and crashing into my mind.

and then... everything went right today after a day of appointments, I still didn't get a job yet, but there was an article in the paper that says we're getting 13 weeks extended jobless benefits. That pays all my bills for 3 months ::) and I just KNOW there will be all sorts of construction jobs by then, I hope.

bbl kind souls

:)
 
pssst, hey kids!

the BDSM forum may not have a Bistro yet, but someone's obviously
paying attention, cause they opened a Confessional Booth last night.

look! We're role models! LAWLZ!

bj


Was the first confession that they stole your idea?
LOL
 
Was the first confession that they stole your idea?
LOL

Interestingly, no. No one has confessed to that yet. Not that I care. Ideas are free. And I have plenty. Most of them bad.

I read your story, by the way. It's hilarious even if I have avoided the AH for so long I don't recognize the characters. I suspect I know who the cool cliquish girls are though - I may have had a run-in with a couple of them, a long time ago.

Except as I remember, with all the cliques and stuff, you may be giving them too much credit. It's a lot more like the way I remember high school, not college. *grin*


and NJ darling, you must know by now that I'm impossible to offend. In fact, any time you, or anyone else for that matter, wonders for some silly reason 'did that/will that offend bijou?' you need to just remember that on that particular sensitivity scale, I bottom out somewhere near the Sphinx. You can hurl insults at him all day long and not only will he not be offended, he probably won't even notice.



bj
 
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