*control*

[mskittykatt]

duct tape hmmm?
can i come over to play?

 

[artful]

Thank You All,...

...for your responses,...now,...back to the issue of *control*. Any more opinions or examples?

 

[morninggirl5]

I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, Artful, but on the issue of control, it's all i have at the moment.

I need to feel in control. I always have, the most uncomfortable, jumpy, on edge feeling in the world for me is feeling that i'm out of control. Physically, emotionally, i need to feel in control.

I maintain my control of myself, and when i hand that control over to someone, i need reassurance that they are in control. I need them to demonstrate clearly that they accept that control and understand what my giving of it means.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump....

 

[rosco rathbone]

Bump....

The "artful saga" is an interesting study in internet mastery. He and his online slave, *dream*, who is still seen around these parts occasionally, inspired wide-spread hatred in some quarters and acclaim in others several years ago. Let us not forget the days of internet masters past.

Another literotica saga that would be worth study by newcummers is Lancecastor's jihad against former original old school BDSM thread mod and catalina precursor, Cymbidia.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, just shows how much I know....I thought Cym was before Miss Taken, not me.

Catalina

 

[rosco rathbone]

LOL, just shows how much I know....I thought Cym was before Miss Taken, not me.

Catalina

Mistaken was a temporaty internet anomaly. You are the "new cym".

 

[catalina_francisco]

Mistaken was a temporaty internet anomaly. You are the "new cym".

I will take that as a compliment as I was reading an old post of hers recently where she was basically saying much as I do that moderating does not mean you are above your peers, or any less or more human than the rest....you do what you can, work hard to keep things from becoming a 'yes I agree' discussion, still have a right to an opinion as part of the community you moderate, and definately do not try and make the world love you for the sake of popularity as that is impossible for anyone to do. It is easy to play friend to everyone, of course until it means you have to agree with 2 people who have opposite views, and then it must be difficult to decide how best to get around it and remain authentic, not fickle.

Part of the reason I was nominated by someone I didn't know at the time (and actually still don't know well) on the board, and then asked to become moderator, I am told was because I was trusted to not play favourites or sit back and hope the board functioned without input. I have tried to honour that vote of confidence and worked hard to create discussions, keep it on track, and attract new, and some departed posters to the board.

I am told it is working at times, and I do have to thank Miss Taken as she has especially taken time often to tell me the difference she has noticed in the increase in postings and discussion. Though I don't believe it was all my doing as she has also worked hard as have other posters in the community, she has been kind enough to lend positive feedback and encouragement to me as a moderator by crediting me with breathing life into it when we all were in a bit of a slump. After all, a board does not survive without posters and discussion, does it? Wonderful if it did, but if everyone just wants to be entertained without anyone doing anything to provide discussions and ideas it fizzles and dies real quick I have noticed. LOL, so peeples, please feel free to go on a posting frenzy if the mood takes you, just try and keep it positive if possible as I suspect we are all in need of more cheer, not gloom.

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

The only control I'm working on at the moment is remote control... *sigh*

 

[Shallkneel4u]

Control,...what is it, where does it come from, where does it go, who has it, when is it passed from one to the other?

Elsewhere in this thread someone brings up the phrase power exchange. In D/s, it takes a Dom/me and submissive to make a whole, either alone failing to form the perfect circle of life. In that circle, is not the exhange ever flowing between the two?

I think sometimes people tend to want to much clarity, want things define to a point where there is no longer any freedom to just let life unfurl if you will. If life is totally defined, if every possible scenerio is mapped out, codified and has rules of involvement, where then is space for creativity? I am submissive, but would hope my Domme would have enough sensee to realize I have enough abilities within the who of myself, that she would not feel teh need to dictate my every movement. I would hope as a submissive that over time I knew my Domme well enough to anticipate at least some of her wants, needs and desires and simply attend to them, rather than waiting for her to give me some instruction...in attending to those needs or desires without a specified request, am I taking control?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: *control*

Elsewhere in this thread someone brings up the phrase power exchange. In D/s, it takes a Dom/me and submissive to make a whole, either alone failing to form the perfect circle of life. In that circle, is not the exhange ever flowing between the two?

I think sometimes people tend to want to much clarity, want things define to a point where there is no longer any freedom to just let life unfurl if you will. If life is totally defined, if every possible scenerio is mapped out, codified and has rules of involvement, where then is space for creativity? I am submissive, but would hope my Domme would have enough sensee to realize I have enough abilities within the who of myself, that she would not feel teh need to dictate my every movement. I would hope as a submissive that over time I knew my Domme well enough to anticipate at least some of her wants, needs and desires and simply attend to them, rather than waiting for her to give me some instruction...in attending to those needs or desires without a specified request, am I taking control?

IMO I don't think so. For us in a TPE it is about him being able to rely on my knowledge of what he needs, wants, or desires, at specific times, and in specific circumstances as part of his utilisation of me as his slave. As he says, if he wanted to micro manage and have to order everything I do, almost to the point of breathing, he would have picked someone who didn't like using their brain. In looking for someone he felt was an a comparable level intellectually, he knew he would be serving his needs, relieving himself of many boring and/or tedious details in life, ensuring he could use my skills to enrich his life. And if there are times for good reason I am not able to do all I usually do, he is not beyond assuming some of the tasks that need doing then and there, or giving me time to complete them when able. It works well for us.

Catalina