Courtship in D/s and/or BDSM

[niteshade]

Well I do not court submissives, but I do court a certain booty in this forum.

Lmao... are you ever gonna get PBW to stand still long enough to be courted?


As far as the courting goes... I don't know, because when I started playing with bdsm I was already in the relationship. I am pretty sure that I would have to be courted though... I just can not see me doing the chasing. I am too shy. ( I know, this is a shocking statement coming from the flirt princess, but when I first meet someone, I am shy.) I might try to let him (or her) know that I was interested, but I doubt I would be doing the courting.


BTW... I was the clueless vote.

 

[Caitlynne]

Not necessarily.

I do not court submissives. They court Me. See I have the law of supply and demand in My favor.

An excellent point!!! And one I'll take into consideration in future encoutners.

~ Cait

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I'm in agreement with others here. It's a two part deal. As a female submissive, I have done both. In my relationship with Him, I initially contacted Him, and it went from there.


~anelize

 

[Ebonyfire]

Lmao... are you ever gonna get PBW to stand still long enough to be courted?

Just his booty needs to stand still.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: I Stand Alone

Well, in the courting part... I envy you. ;-)

Courting means watching me do 30 situps a day. LOL

It is funny you should say that. One assignment My 24/7 will have will be to oversee My exercise program.

 

[Lilly4]

Hi Eb,

Thanks for the heads up. : )

You know me - I let the boys find me.
Fortunately there seems to be a never ending supply.

 

[snoozebutton]

Have you been reading my diary?

lol

Happy birthday, late, by the way. ;-)

Hell yeah! CBS wants me to do a mini-series. I'm buying out the adult store with the advance. evil grin.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hi Eb,

Thanks for the heads up. : )

You know me - I let the boys find me.
Fortunately there seems to be a never ending supply.

Cool!

 

[snoozebutton]

Thanks, snooze.

Maybe you should moo more?

Only for those who know how to milk me. LOL

 

[Ebonyfire]

Only for those who know how to milk me. LOL

 

[cellis]

I never really thought about this... I only contacted one Dom before I met Himself.... and the rest approached me first... I did let it be known that I was looking and hung out on alt.com and did a lot of instant messaging...

But in terms of courting, I am the one who will buy His favorite things... make certain I perpare His favorite foods... send Him little cards and notes... but then He is most attentive in other ways so it all works out...

When we were looking for another person, I tended to do the courting there... so I guess I have been courted in the past and have done the courting as well....

 

[Goddess Helena]

* pouts *

Now option for this Domme.

I get courted and do the courting.


Helena

 

[Mr Blonde]

I know that I am courted by male (and sometimes female) submissives, but are male Doms courted? Or does societal norms hold true and Male Doms have to court femail submissives?

Does the Law of Supply and Demand hold true in kink?

What do you think?

I checked off the "dominant and do the courting" option but I was thinking of "courtship" as doing the work to start a relationship. That can be anything from planning dates to provoking the right conversations when sizing each other up.

If you mean "courting" as in "trying to attract attention or express interest", then I get more than my fair share of offers. Women will usually just try to do subtle things to make me notice them; and once I talk to them, they will try to create ways to be in contact with me later.

Women will make an effort to express interest or create opportunities for interaction but will stop short of pursuing or making explicit moves. They stay within societal norms...nothing overt or desperate.

As an aside, I never noticed how prevalent it was until I took myself off the market. I have not deliberately approached a woman for a date since late 1999 because I am too busy. During that time I have had three serious girlfriends and several relationship possibilities. I still do the traditional male and/or dominant role of "closing the deal" and starting the relationship; but I have not had to go looking for women, they seem to find me first.

And no, I am not rich or extremely good looking....and yes, these are desirable women. I guess it is mostly my winning personality.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Interesting thread.

I used to do the courting and was courted it all depended on circumstances. I found that I just did not seem to find the sub I wanted if left to chance so changed my strategy, instead of courting I searched out the one I wanted and then I courted her.

It is true that market economy holds true here.

Francisco.

 

[Desdemona]

Snooze already answered for me. I was courted.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Interesting thread.

I used to do the courting and was courted it all depended on circumstances. I found that I just did not seem to find the sub I wanted if left to chance so changed my strategy, instead of courting I searched out the one I wanted and then I courted her.

It is true that market economy holds true here.

Francisco.

Searching is a good word for either side of the coin. For the courting and the courted.

One must know what one is searching for. Thanks, Professor.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Searching is a good word for either side of the coin. For the courting and the courted.

One must know what one is searching for. Thanks, Professor.

Sure helped me find my wonderful Professor.

C

 

[wolf2002]

In my searches for a Domme, I have courted pretty agressively... well, as agressive as a sub can get, that is... meaning that I do everything in my power to convince her that I am worth her attention...

As a Dom, I just make the sub of my choice want me..

 

[Netzach]

Ooooo I messed up the vote, crap.

Boys, they court me.

Girls, I court.

 

[Richard49]

bump

 

[Xelebes]

Since this thread was bumped, I shall promptly reply. I voted having no clue. Because... I'm that naive.

*clucks teeth*

 

[fallon2]

I think for a relationship to work it has be be done by both people. But I have noticed that a certain sub has been very subtle with her Master.
'Must make a note to follow up on this.'

 

[enigma nocturne]

I am so confused..

Just doing whatever it is we are doing. Feels kind of like both so I probably should have voted for doing both. But I do not know..

 

[Richard49]

I have been doing some study on a totally different subject
in fact it has been on biblical baptism

and have learned this about courtship

it is the process
that has the hope of joining

in which we learn to have faith in each other
through enhancing our knowledge of one another
and, hopefully, finding honor

Who should start the process?
shrugging shoulders

I have no problem with a sub approaching me
and I do think the sub should ask for the collar