cybering == cheating? your take on it

[cocktan]

if for you cybering isn't, then what besides actual sex is?

ed

cybering is cheating for me, at least without consent although even with consent i would still feel unfaithful to her.

 

[silverwhisper]

some of your statements are not making sense in conjunction. perhaps i'm just tired this morning.

ed

 

[SweetErika]

for me at least consent does not determine if i feel unfaithful to my SO, even if i was to do somthing with another person and she said it was alright, it would still make me feel unfaithful because how do i know that she didn't give me the ok because she just wanted to make me happy? this situation only applies (at least to me) if shes not there

This is one of the places honesty, trust, and communication play a huge role in our relationship. I trust my husband to be honest about his true thoughts and feelings when we talk about an issue like cybering. I trust his consent, or lack thereof, is genuine, and he trusts me to be considerate of his feelings and stop the activity if something comes up for him (which is why we communicate all the way through it).

The reality is that a big part of our definition of love is making each other happy. Seeing my husband happy brings me great joy, and vice versa. So, it's perfectly okay for us to do something that we know will make both of us happy.

 

[Eilan]

guys, you're missing the point of cocktan's question. implicit in his question, rephrased or otherwise, is the assumption that cybering <> sex.

ed

Some of us have reading comprehension issues, ya know.

 

[silverwhisper]

[giggles]

ed

 

[wrathofkublakhan]

It's only cheating if you think it is.
Communication via cyber has a built in huge buffer and cybering is essentially fantasy.

Uncle Wrath's Progression Law sez:
First time: no big deal I can be legendary in someone's mind.
Fifth time: she'll do anything and everything, adventure supreme (or at least tell me so).
Tenth time: something is being created beyond what once was 'cybering'.
Twentieth time: it's a fkn relationship ... trapped again!

 

[vanelane]

well you see thats why it's a yes/no poll, i am wondering how many people consider it cheating in their own relationships, not for the general population but just for them

But, again, the poll is too limited. For me, in my marriage, yes it would be cheating if I were hiding it, no it wouldn't be if I were open with my husband about it. So I cannot vote. For us, it's just an addition to, as others have said. If I get revved up online, he's the beneficiary.

 

[Cockyfox]

What exactly is cybering anyway?
Flirting? Naughty talk with the intent of sexual climax? Revealing intimate feelings?

 

[wicked woman]

What exactly is cybering anyway?
Flirting? Naughty talk with the intent of sexual climax? Revealing intimate feelings?

cybersex

n : sexual arousal involving communication on the internet

 

[INeedLove]

In my opinion, and at this point in my life, cybering is cheating.