Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

[cascadiabound]

Bare with me here - this is kind of my first time really addressing things like this. Getting a bit more comfy here and learning to speak.

I agree when I first read it I was like oh hell no! You got to be kidding me. Right.
Then I let it sit, re-read it, thought about it and then dissected it line by line.

No it's not a role. I'm not "pretending" to be what you want me to be. I've had many inner battles with myself over my submissiveness. I've finally accepted this is who I am. It is a part of me to the core. (pretending in play can be fun!)

Absolute NOT a game. The one with the most points doesn't get to win and game over. There are no winners or losers. This is definitely life. This one erks me the most. There are so many out there that think this is all fun and games and you're just pretending to be this or that.

For me yes there are "time outs", "safe words" and "limits" I firmly believe those are needed. Granted within your own personal relationship with the person you are giving total control over to, you will know each other in and out so this could be a grey area for some. To me, a time out is self-care of one. It's ok to "walk away" for some much needed time to yourself. It's not a reflection on your Daddy. I need to be in a good place in order for me to be the best I can be for Him.

Yes He is the Dominant and I will always be His submissive. I am his 24/7 but He needs to let me be me as well. Part of me is screaming this is so slave wording. But I do get it - maybe I'm just scared of giving 100% complete control over to Him. Part of me thinks that if He accepts this control from me that he will look out for my best interests. I do believe He should have the final word but there should be room for one to plead their case but ultimately his word is final. Control is hard for me at this present moment in time. I will give up control to the right person as long as I still have my free will.

Yes for me this is my life. My life with Him. And yes there will be others that don't understand it and may never understand it. You can listen to other's opinions and decide what to do with them. But it doesn't come down to what you and Him decide what is best of YOUR relationship.

Thank you for letting me speak.

*goes back to the mountain of pillows*

yes. most of your comments resonate with me.

I am at least part repeating what you said, but because it is so important, I am going to repeat.

... I worry about any meme that includes "no safe words" "no time outs", "no limits" etc. I think it is either written by someone who has a fantasy idea of BDSM or is someone who confuses the sexy fun stuff, with actual safety issues. If I can't safeword to stop something that is hurting me, or to let my PYL that I am getting triggered... well - that is not someone I would be able to trust. Also... we may be some version of DD/lg or bg, but we are also actual adults and sometimes a time out is needed.... to take a step back, to give both of us time to not say stuff that we won't be able to take back, to be able to take a breath and figure out just what is going on for me, for him, for us.

and for fucks sake... any sane adult has limits. You may not murder me. You may not abuse me. You may not break bones or cause me to bleed. You may not speak badly to or about me. You may not blackmail me or use my words or images without consent. And those are just for a start. Call me crazy... I want limits. I may submit to my PYL, but in doing so I do not lose my autonomy or the ability to use my brain.

But. yes... power-exchange is NOT a game. And the things that work for us - no matter how weird they may same to others, as long as we are both safe - these are for us to figure out and we don't need input, opinions or judgment from anyone else.

 

[Blueeyesrenee]

Derek Morgan started my trigger for “Babygirl”
Always made me go gooey inside




As for the post..I don’t know what to make of it, honestly.

One thing has become abundantly clear to me over the course of the last 6 months or so..I’m very naive when it comes to a lot of the bdsm realm.

I don’t do well with strict dominance, it doesn’t make me feel comforted, it makes me prickly...I don’t know why. It just does..I prefer softer, protective guidance. A soft hand that can deliver a hard swat to my backside when I get bratty

The line that says “my word is final” is what bristles the most with me...I think things should be talked about and discussed equally. Now if Daddy makes a valid argument and sees something that I don’t ahead and says his opinion is final, then I respect that but it’s not law with me

I do agree that this isn’t a game or a role play to bring out of the closet when you need to spice things up.
This is a way of life that stems from a deep-seated need in us..Daddies and Littles both


Does that makes any sense at all??

Everything you said makes perfect sense. There's no right or wrong. It comes down to you. You find the right Daddy for you.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Everything you said makes perfect sense. There's no right or wrong. It comes down to you. You find the right Daddy for you.

I disagree. There’s definitely wrong. No limits? No safewords, he has the final say? And the part at the end where it sounds like the two of them against the world, that’s how abuser set people up so there is no support system against someone’s destruction.
Its wrapped prettily in things that DO resonate and I think that makes it more dangerous.
YMMV but I call bullshit. Anyone that tries to say this is how D/s has to be has less than pure intentions

 

[Fugu_B]

How do you feel about this? At first, I read it and thought "Oh, Hell no!" Then, I thought, "Maybe I interpreted incorrectly."
Now, I know my thoughts on this...I would love to get your input...there's no right or wrong. I'll follow up tomorrow with what I truly feel about this. Deal?

Everyone is different and every relationship is different. I thought I would need some time to let this marinate, but well, it only took about 5 minutes.

I’m not speaking for anyone but myself. And just my initial thoughts. But others might agree.

*sigh* here we go

Can’t do PowerPoint in this little box, so I’ll number each line of that tile even if it only has one word in it.

Lines 1 though 4, beginning “This is not a role” yes, and non negotiable.

Lines 5 and 6 beginning “There are no time outs” a big no, and IMO this is a clear separation between ‘our group’ and other forms of D/s relationships that don’t use them. That’s CNC territory. It’s important for those who get little to be able to enter their meditative state unhindered, as it’s their safe place. You need it when you need it and it isn’t something that you schedule. And that safe place can be different for everyone. Safe words, well, our names/titles are our safe words.

Lines 7, 8, and 9 beginning “I am a Dominant” are also true. BUT....as a Kung fu instructor told me a very long time ago when he was showing me holds, and how to get out of them, “You have me, now I have you,” so it can be a matter of perspective and semantics as to who owns who.

Lines 10 and 11 beginning “My word is final”are subject to negotiation. Even if the parties agree to this, either side has the option of ending it. You aren’t locked in a cage. The door is open and you can leave at any time. It’s a matter of free will.

Lines 12 through 15 beginning “This is our life”are true and non negotiable. But, we have to operate in the real world, with friends and family, and people won’t understand. It’s hard to open up and make yourselves vulnerable. Its hard to try and explain it to your children, who likely don’t even have the tools to handle more mainstream relationships. It’s hard enough here on Lit with the Kink shaming from people who (should) know better.

 

[Fugu_B]

Wow you ladies dig deep while I was waylaying the kiddos.

A lot of very good food for thought from all of you.

What might work for some, may not for others.

 

[Fugu_B]

I'm glad you are here too!

Thank you so much. Your contributions are as valid as anyone else’s. We all have to find our path.

 

[Blueeyesrenee]

I disagree. There’s definitely wrong. No limits? No safewords, he has the final say? And the part at the end where it sounds like the two of them against the world, that’s how abuser set people up so there is no support system against someone’s destruction.
Its wrapped prettily in things that DO resonate and I think that makes it more dangerous.
YMMV but I call bullshit. Anyone that tries to say this is how D/s has to be has less than pure intentions

I never said there shouldn't be no safe words, no limits. I was merely agreeing with ShyNaughtygirl on what she said.

 

[LostGirlTink]

I never said there shouldn't be no safe words, no limits. I was merely agreeing with ShyNaughtyagirl on what she said.

But that is legitimately exactly what this meme says.

 

[Blueeyesrenee]

But that is legitimately exactly what this meme says.

Did you read what I originally wrote about the meme?

 

[LostGirlTink]

Did you read what I originally wrote about the meme?

I did... and I’m glad. But the fact that these get entertained is how people get badly hurt.
Never mind. I’m too tired to argue with people.
Night all
Safety first

 

[Blueeyesrenee]

I did... and I’m glad. But the fact that these get entertained is how people get badly hurt.
Never mind. I’m too tired to argue with people.
Night all
Safety first

I'm not arguing with you at all. I value your opinion. Yes I agree uneducated people see these memes and things and get thoughts and ideas that are not right. Or they see 50 shades and think that's how it is.
Goodnight!

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Look who's talking! How was the game last week???
Did you have fun?

i worked four days this week!

game was crap despite a win. oh yeah, fun was had.

 

[barefootgirl69]

i worked four days this week!

game was crap despite a win. oh yeah, fun was had.

Four whole days! What's this world coming to!?

Sometimes the fun always ends up better than the game. But, I do like to be in the crowd so I can whoop and holler without getting arrested. Can't do THAT in the mall. Took five hours to get bailed out the last time!

 

[barefootgirl69]

Time Out!

See what I did there?!

I started this earlier when I was still half asleep, then I dropped the phone almost hitting my face. I lost what I was writing, hopefully I can say it again, just as poetically!

Last night, I posted a meme because I had come across it and it caught my attention. At first, I thought it was ridiculous but then I questioned if I interpreted wrong. I wanted YOUR take on it. I'm still not ready to post my thoughts, I have a lot to do today, and my head is filled with other thoughts...but I do want to say this...

I wanted discussion. I truly did. But I also want everyone to feel that their opinion is valid. This is a thread for getting together, knowing we aren't alone, for learning, exploring, but mostly our safe place to voice what we need to. SAFETY is always an issue and paramount in our journey, for both sides of the slash.

Sometimes there are misunderstandings, and I think that happened last night. After reading everything again, I hope that everyone will come to the same conclusion.

I'll also add, just because there's a disagreement doesn't mean people need to leave. Every one of us is important and so are our thoughts, hurts, weaknesses and strengths.

(Cb where ARE you? You're so much better at this than I am!)

 

[LurkingLazarus]

See what I did there?!

I started this earlier when I was still half asleep, then I dropped the phone almost hitting my face. I lost what I was writing, hopefully I can say it again, just as poetically!

Last night, I posted a meme because I had come across it and it caught my attention. At first, I thought it was ridiculous but then I questioned if I interpreted wrong. I wanted YOUR take on it. I'm still not ready to post my thoughts, I have a lot to do today, and my head is filled with other thoughts...but I do want to say this...

I wanted discussion. I truly did. But I also want everyone to feel that their opinion is valid. This is a thread for getting together, knowing we aren't alone, for learning, exploring, but mostly our safe place to voice what we need to. SAFETY is always an issue and paramount in our journey, for both sides of the slash.

Sometimes there are misunderstandings, and I think that happened last night. After reading everything again, I hope that everyone will come to the same conclusion.

I'll also add, just because there's a disagreement doesn't mean people need to leave. Every one of us is important and so are our thoughts, hurts, weaknesses and strengths.

(Cb where ARE you? You're so much better at this than I am!)

BFG,

It sounded like everyone was saying the same things in different ways, but it wasn't clearly understood.

None of you were actually advocating the total-control DD mechanic that is toxic as fuck and, as Tink said, opens the door for abuses...because Littles have voices and free will, and that meme implies "No" doesn't exist, which is bullshit and dangerous as fuck.

Which is essentially what Renee said.

Which is what SNG said.

In the process of quoting, something ("there is no right or wrong") was taken out of context. SNG was referring to her preferred type of relationship, which she stated was gentler than a harder/firmer/more rigid D/s dynamic...which is what Renee agreed with, as that's how she feels.

Tink appeared to misunderstand that part...but the rest of Tink's points were 100% valid.

People with no concept of the umbrella encompassing BDSM in general would read that and could easily believe that abuse and removal of free will is the whole point...which is a) shitty and b) completely the opposite of the point of the whole relationship dynamic.

Now...considering y'all actually agreed...

Hi there. Let's get on with Friday.

 

[barefootgirl69]

bfg,

*snip*

Now...considering y'all actually agreed...

Hi there. Let's get on with Friday.

*giggles*

Happy Friday, Lurker!!!

 

[DarkSimian]

This is just me being a smart ass; please do not take anything I say seriously, I sure don't

Derek Morgan started my trigger for “Babygirl”
Always made me go gooey inside
<snip>

So how many licks does it take to get to the gooey center?

As to safe words....the universal safe word should be "Meatloaf"; because it means "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that...."

Now back to your regularly scheduled programing

 

[DarkSimian]

I like that safe word


Also I feel like the more licks the gooey-er the center sooooooo

As a man of science, I feel that this theory needs to be rigorously tested, over and over again, for best results

 

[barefootgirl69]

No cheating, though!

No bites in the gooey center!

*cringes and screams* MEATLOAF!!!

 

[DarkSimian]

No cheating, though!

No bites in the gooey center!

*cringes and screams* MEATLOAF!!!

No coaching from the audience....

Or I'll make you laugh while taking a drink of water

 

[barefootgirl69]

No coaching from the audience....

Or I'll make you laugh while taking a drink of water

*blushes* I can't believe I spit that water out.

But, what you said was soooo funny!!!

 

[DarkSimian]

*blushes* I can't believe I spit that water out.

But, what you said was soooo funny!!!

Sgt. Optimus Prime

 

[barefootgirl69]

Sgt. Optimus Prime

See...I'm laughing and wiping tears, wondering WHY would that guy change his name to THAT!? Talk about dedication!

That's like a fisherman changing his to Charlie Tuna
Did I tell you about the guy I found on an 1870 census who was named Chocolate Love?

 

[DarkSimian]

See...I'm laughing and wiping tears, wondering WHY would that guy change his name to THAT!? Talk about dedication!

That's like a fisherman changing his to Charlie Tuna
Did I tell you about the guy I found on an 1870 census who was named Chocolate Love?

He was either a pimp or a Victorian era porn star lol

 

[LurkingLazarus]

Oh? Lucky I know a scientist that may be willing

You're not wrong...

No cheating, though!

No bites in the gooey center!

*cringes and screams* MEATLOAF!!!

That made soda come out of my nose. Omg.