Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

[barefootgirl69]

He was either a pimp or a Victorian era porn star lol

Oh, no. Those Victorians didn't have sex.

You're not wrong...

That made soda come out of my nose. Omg.

My job is done!
Look at the mess you made, though!

 

[LurkingLazarus]

Look at the mess you made, though!

I'm excellent at cleaning up after myself, thank you.

 

[LostGirlTink]

First of all I wanna say that I wasn’t upset last night just tired. I tend to get very passionate about the subject because I think that people are often vulnerable when they are trying to figure things out and that a lot of “figuring out” gets done on this thread. I’ve seen many “doms” seek to convince a sub that it isn’t that they aren’t safe but that he sub isn’t a good sub, that they aren’t submissive ENOUGH and it’s not ok.
Anything that has that feel to me is problematic. Many of us that have some education or awareness of what’s going on will be quick to recognize it but things do do still slip in. It’s especially concerning when it’s wrapped up with things that do appeal to the sub in ones soul....
Just be careful
And remember you’re always allowed to say no or walk away

 

[barefootgirl69]

First of all I wanna say that I wasn’t upset last night just tired. I tend to get very passionate about the subject because I think that people are often vulnerable when they are trying to figure things out and that a lot of “figuring out” gets done on this thread. I’ve seen many “doms” seek to convince a sub that it isn’t that they aren’t safe but that he sub isn’t a good sub, that they aren’t submissive ENOUGH and it’s not ok.
Anything that has that feel to me is problematic. Many of us that have some education or awareness of what’s going on will be quick to recognize it but things do do still slip in. It’s especially concerning when it’s wrapped up with things that do appeal to the sub in ones soul....
Just be careful
And remember you’re always allowed to say no or walk away

Exactly! Very good points and well said, Tink!

 

[Nzerxx]

How do you feel about this? At first, I read it and thought "Oh, Hell no!" Then, I thought, "Maybe I interpreted incorrectly."
Now, I know my thoughts on this...I would love to get your input...there's no right or wrong. I'll follow up tomorrow with what I truly feel about this. Deal?

I know I'm late(thanks NZ) and I don't want to bring up any bad feelings but for me MOST of this is utter BS! I haven't been around that long, but long enough now to know that for me....and others I respect

• There ARE time outs otherwise known as Meta talks
• There ARE limits
• There ARE safewords
• There ARE NO exceptions

Anything else is just plain dangerous and not any dynamic I want

I may belong to him 24/7 at my consent and his word is final within our dynamic but not at the expense of meta talks limits or safewords. In our dynamic I ultimately hold all the power to GIVE my submission or not. Any such demands as above will never entice me to submit

This IS our life and those in a vanilla life may not and need not consent but those that in a D/s relationship, those that I trust, their opinion might be welcome and it will only be taken to

• Keep me safe
• enhance our dynamic

 

[barefootgirl69]

I guess Geronimo appleby was right! I've been a slacker. I still haven't put up my thoughts. I'm going to blame Skype. I may need help with procrastination!

Nzerxx! Good to see you! How's your Sunday been?

 

[cascadiabound]

See what I did there?!

I started this earlier when I was still half asleep, then I dropped the phone almost hitting my face. I lost what I was writing, hopefully I can say it again, just as poetically!

Last night, I posted a meme because I had come across it and it caught my attention. At first, I thought it was ridiculous but then I questioned if I interpreted wrong. I wanted YOUR take on it. I'm still not ready to post my thoughts, I have a lot to do today, and my head is filled with other thoughts...but I do want to say this...

I wanted discussion. I truly did. But I also want everyone to feel that their opinion is valid. <snip>

Sometimes there are misunderstandings, and I think that happened last night. After reading everything again, I hope that everyone will come to the same conclusion.

I'll also add, just because there's a disagreement doesn't mean people need to leave. Every one of us is important and so are our thoughts, hurts, weaknesses and strengths.

(Cb where ARE you? You're so much better at this than I am!)

Sorry...I have been ridiculously busy the last 48 hours and haven't had a chance to look in here at all. Btw, bfg, you did fine. Good job on the time out.

[snip] Many of us that have some education or awareness of what’s going on will be quick to recognize it but things do do still slip in. It’s especially concerning when it’s wrapped up with things that do appeal to the sub in ones soul....
Just be careful
And remember you’re always allowed to say no or walk away

There was a discussion in another thread recently about sub frenzy....I think part of what makes me worry about this kind of tidy little meme graphic (it looks so official.....so authoritative (rolls eyes)... but here's the thing...when you are new, guideposts like this can feel like a beacon, a little mini hand book, a set of rules to follow and shape the next hour, the next day, the next interaction. I think this may be why Tink responded the way she did, and I felt the need to reiterate a few points already made, and why Nezzerx is is doing the same in her post below

[Originally posted by Nezerxx][snip]

• There ARE time outs otherwise known as Meta talks
  
  
  I may belong to him 24/7 at my consent and his word is final within our dynamic but not at the expense of meta talks limits or safewords. In our dynamic I ultimately hold all the power to GIVE my submission or not. Any such demands as above will never entice me to submit
  
  This IS our life and those in a vanilla life may not and need not consent but those that in a D/s relationship, those that I trust, their opinion might be welcome and it will only be taken to
  • Keep me safe
  • enhance our dynamic

• 
  
  I am glad you posted. I thunk the idea of meta talks is particularly important...we should make that it's own topic IMHO..
  
  

  Wow you ladies dig deep while I was waylaying the kiddos.
  
  A lot of very good food for thought from all of you.
  
  What might work for some, may not for others.

  
  Nods. Indeed, lots of good stuff here.
  
  No two relationships are alike. We each have our own particular needs and preferences and history that we bring to intimacy and power exchange. Make it work for you, don't hold yourself up to some fantasy idea of BDSM /DD/lg or heaven forbid, 50 shades of anything.
  
  Note: i wrote this really late and half fell asleep several times as I was composing it so if something doesn't make sense someone please tell me and I will proof this tomorrow some time.

 

[Nzerxx]

Had to be.

Those two were soooooo Daddy/bg.

His character totally represented. Her character totally empowered him to do his thing....it was impossible for him to operate much less succeed without her. It was a symbiotic relationship. They loved each other, but weren’t ‘together.’ There was some sexual tension but IIRC don’t think they ever hooked up. There are a lot of Daddy/sub relationships like that....borderline sexual but more along the lines caretaker/caregiver etc

Time for me to watch Criminal Minds! Do I need to start from Season 1?

 

[Booboobear84]

A comment from the clueless

While not in the lifestyle, I have been thinking about. The recently posted meme is nearly the opposite of what I would envision. My interest would be in a mentor/guardian(or protector/provider) role. It would be based on love for the other person but with teaching there is a certain amount of tough love. For the subs here does this at. All fit what you have in mind or am I clueless about the dynamic?

 

[Nzerxx]

This is just me being a smart ass; please do not take anything I say seriously, I sure don't

So how many licks does it take to get to the gooey center?

As to safe words....the universal safe word should be "Meatloaf"; because it means "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that...."

Now back to your regularly scheduled programing

::

 

[Nzerxx]

I guess Geronimo appleby was right! I've been a slacker. I still haven't put up my thoughts. I'm going to blame Skype. I may need help with procrastination!

Nzerxx! Good to see you! How's your Sunday been?

Waves madly. My day was great. So hot. Even though I had less sleep due to daylight saving time starting.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

For me, the most troubling aspect of bfg's recently shared meme is that it wasn't properly edited!

The other troubling thing with this particular meme is the idea that there is a single type of D/s relationship and that everything should fit into that model. They are not all the same to begin with and they also evolve over time as trust and love is built in the relationship.

More troubling is the attitude of imposition and the placement of the Dom as the definer of the relationship. A true Dom doesn't impose their will but rather nurtures the desire of their sub. It is easy to make the mistake that a D/s relationship is about the Dom's will and absolute authority - but those are only enacted in the service of the sub. A good Dom is one who fulfills the particular needs and desires of a sub, who pushes them beyond their boundaries, but for them not for himself.

For some, no doubt, that kind of enslavement to the absolute authority of a Dom works for them, but it isn't a model for all D/s relationships and even less so for DD/bg relationships...

Just my 2 cents for this Sunday morning. More importantly - pancakes anyone???

 

[cascadiabound]

While not in the lifestyle, I have been thinking about. The recently posted meme is nearly the opposite of what I would envision. My interest would be in a mentor/guardian(or protector/provider) role. It would be based on love for the other person but with teaching there is a certain amount of tough love. For the subs here does this at. All fit what you have in mind or am I clueless about the dynamic?

Welcome Booboobear :rose
Doesn't seem to me that you are clueless. I think many people who seek some version of this dynamic are very interested in the caregiver/mentor/protector style of PYL. ("pick your label" on the D side of the slash when capitalized/ in the s side of the slash when in lower case).

One of the things that did seem right to me in the meme is the idea that BDSM (because this meme seems to be addressing BDSM dynamics in general, not DD/lg dynamic in particular), is not role-playing. It is not play acting... it is who we are, not what we do. The negotiated needs, wants, boundaries, limits etc create the shape of what we do to meet the needs of who we are and that is highly individualized to each dyad.

 

[cascadiabound]

For me, the most troubling aspect of bfg's recently shared meme is that it wasn't properly edited!

The other troubling thing with this particular meme is the idea that there is a single type of D/s relationship and that everything should fit into that model. They are not all the same to begin with and they also evolve over time as trust and love is built in the relationship.

More troubling is the attitude of imposition and the placement of the Dom as the definer of the relationship. A true Dom doesn't impose their will but rather nurtures the desire of their sub. It is easy to make the mistake that a D/s relationship is about the Dom's will and absolute authority - but those are only enacted in the service of the sub. A good Dom is one who fulfills the particular needs and desires of a sub, who pushes them beyond their boundaries, but for them not for himself.

For some, no doubt, that kind of enslavement to the absolute authority of a Dom works for them, but it isn't a model for all D/s relationships and even less so for DD/bg relationships...

Just my 2 cents for this Sunday morning. More importantly - pancakes anyone???

I think you just said even more plainly than I did, the same essential point. Thank you Lost Yonder.

*runs to whip up a batch of pancakes for everyone.

 

[BadAmy]

For me, the most troubling aspect of bfg's recently shared meme is that it wasn't properly edited!

The other troubling thing with this particular meme is the idea that there is a single type of D/s relationship and that everything should fit into that model. They are not all the same to begin with and they also evolve over time as trust and love is built in the relationship.

More troubling is the attitude of imposition and the placement of the Dom as the definer of the relationship. A true Dom doesn't impose their will but rather nurtures the desire of their sub. It is easy to make the mistake that a D/s relationship is about the Dom's will and absolute authority - but those are only enacted in the service of the sub. A good Dom is one who fulfills the particular needs and desires of a sub, who pushes them beyond their boundaries, but for them not for himself.

For some, no doubt, that kind of enslavement to the absolute authority of a Dom works for them, but it isn't a model for all D/s relationships and even less so for DD/bg relationships...

Just my 2 cents for this Sunday morning. More importantly - pancakes anyone???

I'll just take bacon...
and add that the TPE is 24/7 real life for me. But I also know that His primary responsibility is my safety. SO, safewords and discussions are required. though the thought of not having a safeword is kinda hot to me. Where my choice and will are completely removed. That's more of a kink I guess.
I am allowed to share my opinion, and He values it, but we both know He ultimately has the final say. He does what is best for us.
I trust Him enough to obey. He trusts me enough to command.

did this help or hinder the discussion, I don't know.

 

[cascadiabound]

 

[LurkingLazarus]

For me, the most troubling aspect of bfg's recently shared meme is that it wasn't properly edited!

The other troubling thing with this particular meme is the idea that there is a single type of D/s relationship and that everything should fit into that model. They are not all the same to begin with and they also evolve over time as trust and love is built in the relationship.

More troubling is the attitude of imposition and the placement of the Dom as the definer of the relationship. A true Dom doesn't impose their will but rather nurtures the desire of their sub. It is easy to make the mistake that a D/s relationship is about the Dom's will and absolute authority - but those are only enacted in the service of the sub. A good Dom is one who fulfills the particular needs and desires of a sub, who pushes them beyond their boundaries, but for them not for himself.

For some, no doubt, that kind of enslavement to the absolute authority of a Dom works for them, but it isn't a model for all D/s relationships and even less so for DD/bg relationships...

Just my 2 cents for this Sunday morning. More importantly - pancakes anyone???

I think every relationship dynamic is probably very different...but you said far better than I did what bothered me about that meme in general.

Pancakes would be amazing, btw...

 

[badjanus]

Pancakes would be amazing, btw...[/QUOTE]

Does this include bacon?

 

[LostGirlTink]

I feel like it was all a good discussion still, yours included hon!

I like that we look out for each other here

I'm glad. I worry sometimes that I'm too pushy but I worry very, very strongly because this is an area where it's so easy to lose yourself, in fact probably easier to get lost than found.

I may belong to him 24/7 at my consent and his word is final within our dynamic but not at the expense of meta talks limits or safewords. In our dynamic I ultimately hold all the power to GIVE my submission or not. Any such demands as above will never entice me to submit

This IS our life and those in a vanilla life may not and need not consent but those that in a D/s relationship, those that I trust, their opinion might be welcome and it will only be taken to

• Keep me safe
• enhance our dynamic

I loved EVERYTHING you wrote, but especially these parts. Thanks for weighing in.

I may need help with procrastination!

*tries to put on my stern voice and bossy look and mostly ends up giggling*
You need to weigh in on this. Now.

There was a discussion in another thread recently about sub frenzy....I think part of what makes me worry about this kind of tidy little meme graphic (it looks so official.....so authoritative (rolls eyes)... but here's the thing...when you are new, guideposts like this can feel like a beacon, a little mini hand book, a set of rules to follow and shape the next hour, the next day, the next interaction. I think this may be why Tink responded the way she did

Funny enough, I referenced that thread in my discussion about this thread. It's the safety issue. It's the idea that this is what MUST be. It's the idea that everything is wrapped up in neat little packages and a lot of this honestly resonated with me.
It IS who I am. I don't play sub.. That's part of who I am. I'm his... always. There were a few other things but I'm doing that multiquoting thing that makes it hard to go back and reference... but those things made me all warm and fuzzy, and then mixed in are some very potentially dangerous things.
For someone new, or with no support or who is hiding this part of themselves from everyone else in their life, that opens doors to predators. I'm always going to throw my 2 cents into the ring when I think someone might end up in a vulnerable place.

Time for me to watch Criminal Minds! Do I need to start from Season 1?

Mmmmm yes. Start with Season 1.

While not in the lifestyle, I have been thinking about. The recently posted meme is nearly the opposite of what I would envision. My interest would be in a mentor/guardian(or protector/provider) role. It would be based on love for the other person but with teaching there is a certain amount of tough love. For the subs here does this at. All fit what you have in mind or am I clueless about the dynamic?

It's all going to be relationship specific. I don't think you're way off base.

More troubling is the attitude of imposition and the placement of the Dom as the definer of the relationship. A true Dom doesn't impose their will but rather nurtures the desire of their sub. It is easy to make the mistake that a D/s relationship is about the Dom's will and absolute authority - but those are only enacted in the service of the sub. A good Dom is one who fulfills the particular needs and desires of a sub, who pushes them beyond their boundaries, but for them not for himself.

For some, no doubt, that kind of enslavement to the absolute authority of a Dom works for them, but it isn't a model for all D/s relationships and even less so for DD/bg relationships...

Just my 2 cents for this Sunday morning. More importantly - pancakes anyone???

Yaaaaaasssssssss!

And fuck yeah to pancakes.

I'll just take bacon...
and add that the TPE is 24/7 real life for me. But I also know that His primary responsibility is my safety. SO, safewords and discussions are required. though the thought of not having a safeword is kinda hot to me. Where my choice and will are completely removed. That's more of a kink I guess.
I am allowed to share my opinion, and He values it, but we both know He ultimately has the final say. He does what is best for us.
I trust Him enough to obey. He trusts me enough to command.

did this help or hinder the discussion, I don't know.

Of course it helped. I bolded parts that are super important... yes. Your safety. Your opinion. He values those things.
Because ultimately you know this, for you it might be safe to play without safewords because if you could communicate to him that something was wrong he'd be LOOKING for that.
Some of these wanna bes certainly aren't

Now. Fuck. I want pancakes. And morning sex.

I came in to share a meme myself and got sidetracked. I'll do that in a new post. LOL

 

[LostGirlTink]

If only I could tag people on Lit.

 

[BadAmy]

If only I could tag people on Lit.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Y'all better save me some bacon!!!

I am reading through here...loving your thoughts, gifs, new people posting, laughing, enjoying each other...and DISCUSSING THIS.

*sighs* I guess I better get out of bed and fire up my laptop, and the kettle for tea, so I can add my two cents...but, it seems y'all pretty much covered it.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I got carried away and made pancakes for a small army, rather than 2 people! sorry, no bacon though, I don't swing that direction

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Gotta try some of these next time!

 

[LostGirlTink]

I like pumpkin spice pancakes.
(waits for the pumpkin spice haters to chime in)
Because they're fucking delicious.