December challenge - Endings/New Beginnings

[AlwaysHungry]

Pairing #3 is striking because the two poems have so little to do with each other, and yet I do feel that there is a dialogue of sorts going on between them. I couldn't say which came first. "Oxymoronic" tells a story with an allegorical air about it, while "When once a scribbler..." seems to use the December Challenge itself as a metaphor for something more universal.

 

[Trixareforkids]

In pairing #9, the two "Phoenix" poems: both are intriguing. In the second one, "Phoenix", I very much like the image of a "womb of flame." But I was let down by the final lines:

and rendered him back down
to his original state of
seeming innocence.

Those struck me as being prosaic; it would have been nice to say it indirectly, using metaphor.

Hmm, I liked the ending, I thought moving away from metaphor and just saying what was meant fit with what was being said.

This is actually my favorite pairing so far. I quite like both pieces and how they worked together..

 

[Piscator]

I'm surprised at how quickly I've received so many replies. The speed and quality of the responses seems to indicate y'all are having a good time with this one.

I know I usually work faster when I have something as inspiration, seems the same is true of many of you as well.

Many thanks Trix for initiating it and putting it all together. All in all, a most interesting lot, so may voices, styles and forms. The topic obviously elicited a strong response, perhaps because of our demographics and the time of year. Equally interesting was the differences among the 'pairings' and with two exceptions, I'm not sure which came first. All were more than edits but in some there was a high degree of similarity, while others were more like two rifts on the same theme.

 

[Sinseria]

I have to agree this challenge trix is way good! there are many good poems created! ...I think though the oxymoronic and the scribbler one truly connected together for me !

 

[Trixareforkids]

I have to say, though there are writers here that I connect with better than others, there isn't a single piece from this challenge that I haven't like at least in part.
I honestly think I could have found inspiration in any of the pieces. Hmm, I may have just set myself a challenge...

 

[butters]

how many are left to be posted up as pairings, trix?

 

[Trixareforkids]

how many are left to be posted up as pairings, trix?

4 I believe.

Yup, just went back and checked and there are 13 participants, so 4 more pairings to go..

ETA: I forgot I had posted #10 and I just got #11 in and posted so, 2 to go...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Wow someone's made a Christmas tree!

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Pairing #11 is good all around, but I especially like "a starless stumble toward the dawn".

 

[Trixareforkids]

I honestly think I could have found inspiration in any of the pieces. Hmm, I may have just set myself a challenge...

Our history and future are bundled in
two small dots that live, love and die
to be reborn joined, split, transformed
carrying on amid the rubble of
discarded whiskey and cognac
bottles, carving out a soul
they can adorn for battle
no matter the season or how
bleak the outlook

Life is a choice
everyday
we decide to
walk serenely or
end on the fight
letting the voice
of our transient passions
burn out completely
drowned in remorse
or to spark again
with the fuel
of memories
elusive and hard to catch
mere remnants
of innocence
from which to rebuild
where one day leads to
another fanning the
starless stumble toward
the dawn with its
slow beginnings and
tension as we strain
to hear love trill
through
mourning's song

 

[Trixareforkids]

Ok y'all, I have a belief system that centers around the connectedness of all things.

Hours after putting bits of our pieces together into something new, I found out that my step-mother, friend and fellow poet passed away as I was writing. Moving from stunned shock into sadness I thought about how it came together and am comforted by the feeling that she had a hand in it. A kiss on the forehead as she passed by.

Edit:
Take a peek at her poetry read "salt fini" you'll feel her voice mingled with ours in this morning's write.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Take a peek at her poetry read "salt fini" you'll feel her voice mingled with ours in this morning's write.

Yes, she would have felt comfortable here.

Yup, just went back and checked and there are 13 participants, so 4 more pairings to go..

ETA: I forgot I had posted #10 and I just got #11 in and posted so, 2 to go...

Time is running short, n'est-ce pas?

 

[Trixareforkids]

Time is running short, n'est-ce pas?

Our two holdouts have been reminded of the 28th deadline, i gave everyone until the 28th because of the craziness that the end of the year can bring. I'm sure all will be well.

 

[Angeline]

Ok y'all, I have a belief system that centers around the connectedness of all things.

Hours after putting bits of our pieces together into something new, I found out that my step-mother, friend and fellow poet passed away as I was writing. Moving from stunned shock into sadness I thought about how it came together and am comforted by the feeling that she had a hand in it. A kiss on the forehead as she passed by.

Edit:
Take a peek at her poetry read "salt fini" you'll feel her voice mingled with ours in this morning's write.

I'm so sorry for your loss Trix. These recent days, so busy and with the holiday (and I know you entertained) must be difficult. You're a strong one.

 

[Trixareforkids]

I'm so sorry for your loss Trix. These recent days, so busy and with the holiday (and I know you entertained) must be difficult. You're a strong one.

Thank you sweets. It wasn't completely unexpected, she's been in a slow decline for the past year, but none of us thought it would be quite so soon. Now that the shock is wearing off I'm just glad that it was peaceful and painless, she went in her sleep while napping on the couch, and she was a realist like me, so she didn't leave any big unresolved issues. Baby sis, who it will be hardest on, taught us that.

 

[legerdemer]

@Trix

...

 

[Trixareforkids]

It's all over 'cept the guessing folks. Last pairing has been posted.

Contributor's List:

AlwaysHungry
Angeline
Butters
Champagne
GreenMountaineer
GuiltyPleasures
HoneyAdored
Legerdemer
Piscator
Remec
Todski
Trix
Tzara

 

[greenmountaineer]

"When once a scribbler..."

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=73481912&postcount=4

butters

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I am more baffled than usual about the IDs of the poets. I would lamely venture that "Oxymoronic" is GM's, because of the provocative title and the story-telling quality of the poem, plus the military allusion. I also strongly suspect GM for "Changing Chemistry", again for the story-telling, and the well-delivered punch line at the end. Kudos to GM or to whomever wrote that.

On pairing #2, my guess is that "The big question for those of little faith" is the original poem and "Sphere" the response. I guess that because I think that the former is the more successful poem, and the latter doesn't quite capture its essence, although both are interesting. I like the way "big question" achieves a sort of closure between the beginning and end of the poem, which is missing in "Sphere."

I see the possible signature of Honey Adored in the playfulness of "Phoenix Rising" and "Vision". I'll also guess that "Phoenix" is the response poem to "Phoenix Rising" -- it doesn't quite capture the snark of "Phoenix Rising," although I love "womb of flame."

 

[Tzara]

"Changing Chemistry" is by greenmountaneer, if for no other reason than this detail:

I wondered how one million spermatazoa (s/b spermatozoa, btw)

could swim like Mr. White said they did
when I thought about Jane Postanek
from freshman year biology
or Miss December up in the attic.​

If that isn't him, someone is cloning his style.

And I had my own Jane Postaneks, of course.

I'm less confident about assigning "Unchanging Terzanelle" to Angie, though I do, because it's a terzanelle.

Dumb reason, but why.

 

[legerdemer]

- I'm adding my voice to AH and Tzara regarding Changing Chemistry - gm, all the way. And Todski for Swapping Sciences?

- And I agree with AH as well that there's a good chance Oxymoronic is his (gm's) - not only the historical sweep, but he often adds a pinch of French once in a while to his poems. Flavors the pie.

My next guesses are much more random:

-in Pairing #4, I'll guess Honey wrote An Emotional Weather Report, and I'll also guess it was the first of the pair. And if I'm wrong, then I'll guess Butters.

- I'm not entirely sure who the poets are in Pairing #6, but my guess is that Hindsight was the inspiration for Vision. Perhaps GP for Hindsight?

- In Pairing 13, I'll guess AH for Vernal Blurt (and I'll say it was the inspiration), and perhaps Remec for the "response" poem, Untitled.

- In Pairing #11, I'll guess Ever After was GP (and that it was the inspiration poem), and possibly Tzara for plot tensions in the book of love.

- Pairing #10, Todski probably wrote Untitled

- Pairing #8, Beginnings and an Ending - Butters; but can't decide who's on first...

- In Pairing #7, Rememories may be Angeline, and was probably the first of the pair. I like both poems in that pairing.The response poem, Untitled, probably Piscator. But I am not entirely certain... I like both of these a lot.

And that's it for me, folks. I probably blew more than I got. I'm curious to hear the answers... I may come back for a second round.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Fun fun fun!

Hey y'all, I'm also interested in your favorite bits. What grabbed you?

I immediately fell in love with the first line of the untitled piece in pairing #7
"This is the way love ends: it just ends," Such a simple, definitive statement, sad but not overly dramatic, and then the line ends with a comma, which made me laugh. To me that comma says as much as the rest of the piece. It's true, but, there's always a but.

Pairing #6, Visions, also a great first line "This ends on the fight" True, but obviously not the whole or even real story. It draws you in, tells you there's a story there but then only hints at what the story is.

Pairing #2 Sphere, I love the 3rd stanza and feel it could stand on its own.

Pairing #8 Beginnings and an Ending, love, just love. And I also love the last two lines of Some Polaroids, Found in a Shoebox Stuffed Away in the Attic as well as the choice of Polaroids over photographs in the title. The mental pic of a Polaroid, with its white border and space, obviously empty, for writing of details and the nature of Polaroids themselves, that feeling of wanting to capture this instant and hold it in your hand played against the content of the piece, make it a very well crafted piece.

Ok, back for more later.

 

[legerdemer]

my favorite bits

I thought the poems in pairing #11 had a very nice conversation going between them.

Similarly the poems in #7. As I mentioned earlier, Rememories particularly speaks to me, both its language and its rhythms.

From Hindsight, the following lines are so lovely:

"Over the years
I've tempered my fire
Waiting for yours to shine through"

I like how Evanescent Haikus distill the meaning of Unchangeing Terzanelle.

"The big question for those of little faith" would have been a perfect entry for Science in Poetry challenge, as is Evolution.

I could say more but can't at the moment.

 

[Piscator]

I don't know styles enough to identify the poet, but don't think that gm is responsible for Oxymoronic - perhaps Guilty Pleasures????

I really like both halves of pairing 5 and love the phrase man speaks with a transient voice in Unchanging Terzanelle and its echo in Evanescent Haikus. I fell the haiku were the response for this one.

I agree that Angeling in impicated in one of the pairings, but was wondering if the first might not be penned by Tzara and the haiku by Angeline or butters

 

[butters]

"When once a scribbler..."

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=73481912&postcount=4

butters

newp

but i had to look twice to make sure
now, i know tods has written like me before... hmmmn

- I'm adding my voice to AH and Tzara regarding Changing Chemistry - gm, all the way. And Todski for Swapping Sciences?

- And I agree with AH as well that there's a good chance Oxymoronic is his (gm's) - not only the historical sweep, but he often adds a pinch of French once in a while to his poems. Flavors the pie.

My next guesses are much more random:

-in Pairing #4, I'll guess Honey wrote An Emotional Weather Report, and I'll also guess it was the first of the pair. And if I'm wrong, then I'll guess Butters.

- I'm not entirely sure who the poets are in Pairing #6, but my guess is that Hindsight was the inspiration for Vision. Perhaps GP for Hindsight?

- In Pairing 13, I'll guess AH for Vernal Blurt (and I'll say it was the inspiration), and perhaps Remec for the "response" poem, Untitled.

- In Pairing #11, I'll guess Ever After was GP (and that it was the inspiration poem), and possibly Tzara for plot tensions in the book of love.

- Pairing #10, Todski probably wrote Untitled

- Pairing #8, Beginnings and an Ending - Butters; but can't decide who's on first...

- In Pairing #7, Rememories may be Angeline, and was probably the first of the pair. I like both poems in that pairing.The response poem, Untitled, probably Piscator. But I am not entirely certain... I like both of these a lot.

And that's it for me, folks. I probably blew more than I got. I'm curious to hear the answers... I may come back for a second round.

newp

I don't know styles enough to identify the poet, but don't think that gm is responsible for Oxymoronic - perhaps Guilty Pleasures????

I really like both halves of pairing 5 and love the phrase man speaks with a transient voice in Unchanging Terzanelle and its echo in Evanescent Haikus. I fell the haiku were the response for this one.

I agree that Angeling in impicated in one of the pairings, but was wondering if the first might not be penned by Tzara and the haiku by Angeline or butters

newp

it's hard this time around. getting harder by the challenge!

i'll come back with some thoughts when i've had a chance to mull them over. new year's day latest, hopefully sooner. glad people seem to like those i did write