Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[SilkyDave]

i have struggled with anxiety for my entire life, it is hell. a few years ago panic attacks entered the picture, i thought the anxiety was hell, panic is worse. then the depression, holy shit, panic then depression, come out of the depression and there's more panic...i wanted to die, really wanted to die and was sent to a psych hospital, only for a few hours but the reality set in that this was no way to live and i deserved to be happy. i saw a counselor for awhile, never really got to the core of the matter but i think i have been struggling with my own sexuality, hiding it, denying it and i finally cracked with a terror of a boss who threw me over the top at work, maybe a bit of PTSD thrown in after the boss worked me over repeatedly. paxil and a wonderful herbal supplement called holy basil was a great start but i was later diagnosed with low testosterone levels which of course can cause anxiety and depression so we added testim everyday...my sexuality is still an issue but i can deal with the questions as I am who I am (thank you Popeye), the testosterone is recovered, the paxil and holy basil manage the anxiety and panic....get help, ask for hormone levels in blood work..

 

[Fflow]

I'm so proud of everyone on this thread. Proud that you're sharing, taking about the challenges, and also the opportunities for getting help, and recovering.

I know we can get bogged down in our own crap sometimes, but I just thought it important to honor ourselves for reaching out, and reaching back.

I love you guys.

xoxo

f(s)

 

[Fflow]

Oh, and my wife and I got into a bit of a tiff tonight and, as a result, I went right into anxiety mode. I'm happy to say, though, that I didn't have a full-on panic attack, although for a while I was certain I would. Anyway, there are tools that work, and I've learned some of them here.

xoxo

f(s)

 

[SkyMoonAbove]

this seems like the thread for me. anxiety, paranoia and depression are just such a bitch for me. most people are truly afraid of me in real life. i've done everything i possibly can to get 'better' but it's always a slow climb.

 

[Quoll]

I meant to post this last year when it first came up, but, well you know how it goes.

Regarding Self-Regard
The highs and lows of self-esteem
by Joanne V. Wood, Ph.D.
Should we re-think positive thinking?
Giving ourselves pep talks may backfire.
Published on March 20, 2009

Everyone knows that to be successful and happy, we should say favorable things to ourselves.

Everyone knows that to be successful and happy, we should say favorable things to ourselves. Self-help books, magazines, and TV shows encourage "positive self-statements," such as "I can do it!," "I'm good at this," and "I'm a lovable person." Advocates of positive self-statements range from Émile Coué, an early 20th century French psychologist and pharmacist, who recommended repeating the phrase, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better," to Oprah Winfrey, whose O magazine advised readers to:

Look at yourself in a full-length mirror...Now compliment yourself. Yes, you can do it. Repeat these empowering words aloud every morning and every night...

But are positive self-statements actually beneficial? In an experiment that will be published in Psychological Science, Elaine Perunovic, John Lee, and I tested this idea. We recruited people to participate in our study based on their scores on the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale, which has 10 questionnaire items such as, "I feel that I have a number of good qualities." People who scored in the lowest third of the distribution of Rosenberg scores (low self-esteem) and in the highest third of the distribution (high self-esteem) were invited to come to our laboratory, where we randomly assigned them to one of two conditions. We asked participants to either repeat to themselves the statement, "I'm a lovable person," (positive self-statement condition) for four minutes, or to write down their thoughts and feelings (control condition) for four minutes. Our results indicated that people who were low in self-esteem felt worse about themselves after repeating the positive self-statement. Their moods and their "state self-esteem"--their feelings about themselves at that moment--were more negative than those of lows in the control condition. In contrast, people with high self-esteem did feel better after repeating the positive self-statement, but to only a limited degree.



We have obtained similar results in other studies. It appears that positive self-statements, despite their widespread endorsement, may backfire for the very people who need them the most.

Why might engaging in positive self-statements be harmful for people low in self-esteem? I'll address that question in a future post. In the meantime, some of us might be better off following the example of my philosopher friend Paul Thagard, who quipped, "Every day, in every way, I've stopped talking to myself."

Follow up.

Despite the plethora of books advertised this is one of the better descriptions I've read.

There are also a large amount of articles available (which admittedly I have not read, but I'm providing the link on the strength of the following piece).

It's refreshing to read a description not based on the "If it's not working you aren't doing it right." theme.

Depression and Self-Talk – What Really Works!

by Dr. Annette on June 23, 2008 · 4 comments





When you are feeling hopeless or depressed it is often very difficult to think clearly or find anything to make yourself feel better. Life can feel pointless. Getting out of bed in the morning may as well be running a marathon. You just don’t have anything to give.



Sometimes the only thing you can do to get yourself through an especially tough day is to talk to yourself.



The type of self-talk I’m referring to is not about repeating affirmations or using positive thinking. Instead, supportive self-talk is a self-leadership skill that brings new balance to your thoughts and actions. Let me explain.



Beyond Affirmations

Both affirmations and traditional positive thinking involve seeing yourself as self-assured and confident. The goal is to make yourself feel good by focusing on what can be done and then doing it. Positive thinking is a mental attitude that expects success and favorable results.



If you are depressed you clearly do not yet live in a “can do” and “will do” place just yet. Therefore, positive thinking at this point isn’t going to be motivating because it’s false. Repeating, “I can get through this!” when you really don’t know if you can, or reciting affirmations of “I love life!” when in reality you are thinking about quitting life are both examples of being false or lying to yourself.



To illustrate this point, imagine being in a closed-door room quickly filling up with toxic fumes. Now shut your eyes and tell yourself, “The air is filled with invigorating sweetness.” Yes, you might succeed in telling yourself that the fatal gas somehow miraculously changed into a healthy delicate sweet scent, but that type of mental activity will not keep you alive.



When Going Through Hell – Don’t Stop

Depression is a life experience, not a problem that can be logically or mentally solved. In fact, any depressed person knows that thinking positive thoughts will not dissolve depression. That’s because in depression, all hope and joy is gone and unreachable.



There’s an old saying about when you are going through hell, don’t stop. When you are depressed, you need more than thinking “happy thoughts” to get yourself through an especially tough day, hour, or moment. What you need right now is a way to talk to yourself that is not about healing or trying to make yourself feel cheerful, but rather the type of talk that will help connect you with your spirit and keep you MOVING forward.



So what does effective self-talk look like?

Effective self-talk first allows you to face reality, and validate the current state of your feelings, thoughts, and emotions. In no uncertain terms, things are the way they are, and you feel the way you feel. In all likelihood, your pain has begun to exceed your current knowledge or ability to move beyond it. You don’t know ― yet ― how you are going to get through this. The skill, awareness, insight, or wisdom necessary to escape the misery, regroup, recover, and move on is not currently available to you. You’ve reached the end of your rope in terms of knowing what to do next.



It may sound strange and counterproductive, but being able to accept the reality of your situation allows you to stop struggling. The pain of depression hurts enough without adding the suffering of whether this is fair or unfair. Once acceptance of the situation is achieved, you can take a breath and look at it from a different perspective.



And that brings us to the second aspect of effective self-talk. Although you don’t know how to handle this extremely difficult life experience, in truth you ARE dealing with your experience. If you are still alive then you are still coping. Sure, you’re not rapidly flying out of depression on the autobahn of higher healing, but give yourself credit. You are doing the best you can and you are surviving.



When you adopt a truly self-supporting way of talking to yourself, you let yourself know that even though you are suffering, and even though you don’t know how to move beyond all of this, here you are still here ― courageous and coping.



Here’s a quick summary of Self-Supporting Self-Talk For Depression:



1) Acknowledge the truth of how things are for you right now.

2) Validate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

3) Take a breath and acknowledge the truth about how well you really are handling this difficult situation.

4) Keep it believable.



Examples of empowered self-talk include:


I feel unable to step out of this depression, and yet somehow I am getting through each day.
Because I’m depressed, I want to run and hide, and sometimes I do that. I’m realizing that hiding is an option, but it doesn’t always help.
I’m so discouraged that I don’t have a clue what to do. Ok, I’m dispirited. Take a deep breath… Take another breath… Take another breath.
I acknowledge that I don’t want to be here, feeling this, living this nightmare, but I accept this is what is going on right now.
There’s doesn’t seem to be any point to getting up in the morning. But I choose to get up this morning anyway.
I believe that I’m too weak and helpless to overcome this depression, but despite those feelings, I’m still here and giving it my best shot.
I believe I’m a victim and that my efforts won’t amount to anything. Yet despite my overwhelming sense of helplessness, there is a part of me that still is doing its best to move through this situation.

I wish I could tell you that learning self-supportive self-talk is the “simple, easy” answer to overcoming your depression. It isn’t. But changing the way you talk to yourself can bring your divine spirit into the darkness of your depression. And with spirit, all things become possible.

Divine Self

 

[rowseyone]

Thanks for the articles. Its a weekday, so my anxiety will be up all week waiting to hear from my lawyer. So from 8am-6pm, every email alert triggers me. UGH. I'm starting a class for support in helping my youngest daughter transition to the move away from here. I am hoping the therapist is familiar with anxiety and panic attacks.

Fflow, thanks for the encouragement.

 

[Mrtouf]

It's interesting to note that writing out my troubles and then hitting the Delete key is somewhat therapeutic. It's not that I don't want to share, it's just that I know how to overcome each one; I need to work at them.

Sounds obvious when you think about it, but when I spend so much time escaping into books, watching TV, or gaming, I don't get a lot of work done. So I still need to escape from those things the next day, and the day after that. In the short term, escape is great, but over the long term it sucks.

I was feeling all alone and really blue when I started writing this but now I feel better.

 

[Fflow]

Thanks for the articles. Its a weekday, so my anxiety will be up all week waiting to hear from my lawyer. So from 8am-6pm, every email alert triggers me. UGH. I'm starting a class for support in helping my youngest daughter transition to the move away from here. I am hoping the therapist is familiar with anxiety and panic attacks.

Fflow, thanks for the encouragement.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Rowsey!

 

[Fflow]

It's interesting to note that writing out my troubles and then hitting the Delete key is somewhat therapeutic. It's not that I don't want to share, it's just that I know how to overcome each one; I need to work at them.

Sounds obvious when you think about it, but when I spend so much time escaping into books, watching TV, or gaming, I don't get a lot of work done. So I still need to escape from those things the next day, and the day after that. In the short term, escape is great, but over the long term it sucks.

I was feeling all alone and really blue when I started writing this but now I feel better.

Ha! This is great! I'm glad you found clarity in putting your thoughts down, even if you didn't post them.

 

[functioncurve]

Hi Fflow! I actually found this thread because someone mentioned something about self-esteem and AmPic posters.

Thanks to all the people who are sharing their experiences and helpful info. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I've been self-helping myself for a while, and while it's difficult, it is possible to make changes. I need to deal with it ever day, and take small steps forward.

 

[SilkyDave]

Hi Fflow! I actually found this thread because someone mentioned something about self-esteem and AmPic posters.

Thanks to all the people who are sharing their experiences and helpful info. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I've been self-helping myself for a while, and while it's difficult, it is possible to make changes. I need to deal with it ever day, and take small steps forward.

i live it everyday and have just added PTSD to the laundry list of diags, like uni-polar, anxiety, panic weren't enough....you are not alone, baby steps everyday, here for you if needed
dave

 

[rowseyone]

Quick update, I was hit by a car (me not in a car) almost three weeks ago. This has added to the stress (my knee and leg were hurt, but almost okay now). Final docs are done and my move date has been set. The counseling hasnt worked much for me, but has done wonders for my daughter. The counseling has actually added to the PTSD but I know leaving here will eliminate many triggers.

 

[Fflow]

Hey there, FC! Welcome. You're certainly not alone, and I think you'll find a fairly supportive bunch here. Please feel free to share whatever you like, whether it be struggles, coping tools, or breakthroughs.

Even though I don't suffer quite as much as some do here, I feel a deep and abiding comradery with these people. It feels good to know that someone understands how difficult, and scary, these challenges can be.

There are many things individuals can do to help mitigate depression and anxiety, but it is always a good idea to speak with a professional, too. (If you can.)

At least you have a few pleasant hobbies that help you pass the time!

 

[Fflow]

Dave, PTSD is tough. Do you want to talk about it?

Rowsey! WTF? Hit by a car? Sheesh! I'm so glad that your injuries were comparatively minor, and that you're on the mend. Moving is probably my least favorite thing to do, but I know that this change will help you a great deal.

Take good care!

 

[rowseyone]

Thanks! Having a real move date helps. Of course, I am totally unprepared for cold weather.

 

[Fflow]

Thanks! Having a real move date helps. Of course, I am totally unprepared for cold weather.

Eeesh! Well, think "layers."

 

[Quoll]

Bump!

 

[bobsgirl]

Bump!

Good idea. How are you, my dear q-ey?

 

[Quoll]

Good idea. How are you, my dear q-ey?

Hmm hitting a four or five, very sleeply, time for a nap, but it's a bit bloody warm right now.


You keeping on?

 

[bobsgirl]

Hmm hitting a four or five, very sleeply, time for a nap, but it's a bit bloody warm right now.


You keeping on?

And here I am freezing my jingle bells off..

Hanging in there

 

[rowseyone]

Long time no post! I am safely in cold country. Got an apartment really fast and now have a job. Yay! Still have some anxiety issues driving but this time for good reason..ice and snow. So neat to be in a big city!

 

[_Virginia_]

My depression fades at times but it never goes away...some days it comes back with a vengeance. It's been a long time since I had a day as difficult as this one.

 

[Fflow]

Hi all. I just wanted to pop in and say that, overall, my anxiety hasn't been too bad. No attacks, thankfully. I'm trying to be mindful of my stress and anxiety levels, and act accordingly. I never went onto a daily antidepressant, although I did try one briefly. It screwed with my ability to orgasm, which was a completely intolerable side effect.

Anyway, I hope everyone made it through the winter ok.

xo

f(s)

 

[rowseyone]

Hey

Quick Hello, still doing well. The anxiety while driving is hard and limits me, but there is public transportation for the long distances. Hope everyone is well!

 

[Fflow]

Hi Rosy! I am glad that you're doing well, and managing your anxiety effectively.

I'm still doing well as well.

Take good care!