Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[Cathleen]

 

[Quoll]

Yes.

 

[likes2watchU]

I spent a total of about two weeks in the hospital, during two separate hospitalizations, right after Christmas. It feels weak to admit this, but I'm still having a very hard time dealing with it. The physical pain that put me there was so intense, I feel traumatized, in a way, by it. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's the only word I can think of to describe it.

I came home to a hospital bed, and required a couple more weeks of near total bedrest. It took me probably six or seven weeks to get back to my normal routine, whatever the hell that means. It helped a lot to get rid of the hospital bed, but I've since thrown out every single reminder of that time in the hospital (like a hospital gown, and all the various stuff they give you). I can't stand any reminders.

It may not seem like it because I know I goof around here so much, but I feel so... I don't know, hopeless and sad. I got "smacked in the face" with how truly limited my life is. (Real quick backstory to this: I use a wheelchair full time, and have for thirty years or so.) I know I've had trouble convincing family members that I'm capable of being on my own, but now I'm having trouble convincing myself. I resent my slowly increasing lack of independence.

It just feels very hopeless to me. Life's a bitch and then you die, I guess.

It took strength to reach out and post the above. Trauma comes in many shapes and sizes and is different for each person. The event you described was clearly traumatic for you. Please do continue to talk about it, even though it is hard right now. Lack of independence is no fun. I hope you find resources to assist you in maintaining as much autonomy possible while not further diminishing your quality of life. Coming to peace with those decisions may take more time. I wish you well during this trying time of recovery and reevaluation.

 

[sadangel]

Feeling much of nothing these days. Of course I love my Sir and all...but everything else about me just feels numb. I've stayed sick since the week before Christmas and it doesn't show signs of letting up. *sigh* Hope the AD's start working. I had to go five days without them due to a mixup with Dr and Pharmacy. *sigh*

 

[_Virginia_]

I'm glad to see this thread here - I'm currently struggling with depression in a huge way. It's nothing new...I've been struggling with it for more than half of my life (I'm 38). I see my doctor on Monday and hope that (another!) med switch might help.

I hope that everyone who is struggling finds a little relief today, even if it's just for a few moments...

 

[Fflow]

Hope the AD's start working. I had to go five days without them due to a mixup with Dr and Pharmacy. *sigh*

WHAT?!?!?!

This is really unacceptable. Some asses need to be kicked, and fast! Your doctor can get you samples, or the pharmacy a hold-over. There is no excuse for you to be sans meds.

 

[Fflow]

It just feels very hopeless to me. Life's a bitch and then you die, I guess.

Volunteer for something. I bet there are organizations that would pick you up, and take you home again. The more active your mind and body are, the better you'll feel.

 

[JustSkye]

I spent a total of about two weeks in the hospital, during two separate hospitalizations, right after Christmas. It feels weak to admit this, but I'm still having a very hard time dealing with it. The physical pain that put me there was so intense, I feel traumatized, in a way, by it. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's the only word I can think of to describe it.

I came home to a hospital bed, and required a couple more weeks of near total bedrest. It took me probably six or seven weeks to get back to my normal routine, whatever the hell that means. It helped a lot to get rid of the hospital bed, but I've since thrown out every single reminder of that time in the hospital (like a hospital gown, and all the various stuff they give you). I can't stand any reminders.

It may not seem like it because I know I goof around here so much, but I feel so... I don't know, hopeless and sad. I got "smacked in the face" with how truly limited my life is. (Real quick backstory to this: I use a wheelchair full time, and have for thirty years or so.) I know I've had trouble convincing family members that I'm capable of being on my own, but now I'm having trouble convincing myself. I resent my slowly increasing lack of independence.

It just feels very hopeless to me. Life's a bitch and then you die, I guess.

I know you struggle, and you feel so very much, but you have always been so great, such an example to me. Cate and Quili, too.
All of us don't talk as much as we used to. I am hugely guilty of this, but I always come here to read this thread and how very much we have leaned on one another for encouragement, a laugh, or just to listen. I'm grateful to all of you for being such great people. To everyone who posts in this thread.

Quili, you made a safe harbor with this thread where people can come in and relate...or just read and see that they're not alone, that there are reasons people feel the way they do, and that, even on days where we don't, we can overcome almost anything with great information and strong support.


I lurk alot over here (I know. I know. I can hear you, Quili )

I'm going through another down phase. This will seem snotty to say, but I can always tell who cares about me when I go through these things (This is not related to here, so please don't be offended. Not intended for this thread, but my own life).

I'm tired of going to the doctor and them telling me that I don't really feel this way or that, that it's because of this or that. Don't fucking tell me what I'm feeling or why. I found a place on Facebook that has helped me in regards to my thyroid and I have learned so much. However, I'm having to try and see a specialist now, because I have tried several times in the last couple of years to tell my doc that I can take that little pill for my thyroid, but I'm still having a lot of trouble, depression and soooo tired all the time. I can sleep and sleep and I still feel tired. I get out a lot, get sunshine, do activities with my daughter and family and friends, but there is never enough hours in the day to sleep.

I feel I look at things differently (not always in a bad way), but find that i don't want to be around anyone most days, and get to that point from time to time where I think, "If I didn't have my children...."

School, no work, and feeling like I'm just existing truly suck. It's easier to put on a smile and keep going rather than tell people what's wrong so they can look at you with that fake sympathetic look and say, "awww I'm sorry" and five seconds later find something else to talk about.

yes...I'm in a very dark mood today.

 

[Quoll]

I know you struggle, and you feel so very much, but you have always been so great, such an example to me. Cate and Quili, too.
All of us don't talk as much as we used to. I am hugely guilty of this, but I always come here to read this thread and how very much we have leaned on one another for encouragement, a laugh, or just to listen. I'm grateful to all of you for being such great people. To everyone who posts in this thread.

Quili, you made a safe harbor with this thread where people can come in and relate...or just read and see that they're not alone, that there are reasons people feel the way they do, and that, even on days where we don't, we can overcome almost anything with great information and strong support.


I lurk alot over here (I know. I know. I can hear you, Quili )

I'm going through another down phase. This will seem snotty to say, but I can always tell who cares about me when I go through these things (This is not related to here, so please don't be offended. Not intended for this thread, but my own life).

I'm tired of going to the doctor and them telling me that I don't really feel this way or that, that it's because of this or that. Don't fucking tell me what I'm feeling or why. I found a place on Facebook that has helped me in regards to my thyroid and I have learned so much. However, I'm having to try and see a specialist now, because I have tried several times in the last couple of years to tell my doc that I can take that little pill for my thyroid, but I'm still having a lot of trouble, depression and soooo tired all the time. I can sleep and sleep and I still feel tired. I get out a lot, get sunshine, do activities with my daughter and family and friends, but there is never enough hours in the day to sleep.

I feel I look at things differently (not always in a bad way), but find that i don't want to be around anyone most days, and get to that point from time to time where I think, "If I didn't have my children...."

School, no work, and feeling like I'm just existing truly suck. It's easier to put on a smile and keep going rather than tell people what's wrong so they can look at you with that fake sympathetic look and say, "awww I'm sorry" and five seconds later find something else to talk about.

yes...I'm in a very dark mood today.

 

[Fflow]

I found a place on Facebook that has helped me in regards to my thyroid and I have learned so much. However, I'm having to try and see a specialist now, because I have tried several times in the last couple of years to tell my doc that I can take that little pill for my thyroid, but I'm still having a lot of trouble, depression and soooo tired all the time. I can sleep and sleep and I still feel tired. I get out a lot, get sunshine, do activities with my daughter and family and friends, but there is never enough hours in the day to sleep.

A friend had thyroid cancer and, ever since, struggled with replacement therapies. Not long ago, after suffering miserably for years, she found a good balance and has been doing great. Mostly, it was her own hard work, and research, and had less to do with the medical professionals 'supporting' her.

I share this just so you know there's some hope.

Hang in there.

 

[sadangel]

WHAT?!?!?!

This is really unacceptable. Some asses need to be kicked, and fast! Your doctor can get you samples, or the pharmacy a hold-over. There is no excuse for you to be sans meds.

Thanks. Right now, I'm taking only one of the three AD pills I'm supposed to take. 20 mg instead of the 60 mg a day. Because of the mix up. I have to go to Pharmacy and explain that they SAID they gave me a 30 day supply, but actually, they did not. They gave me only about a 10 day supply. There are 30 pills in the box. I take 3 a day. That's not a 30 day supply. I now realize why I have been running out so quickly. (sigh)

 

[_Virginia_]

having a really rough time lately....

I'm seeing a psychopharmacologist who specializes in treatment resistant depression, in May - after 20 years of treatments that never quite did the trick (plus ECT). I wish I could feel hopeful about it but I have lived like this for so long that it's hard to really imagine another way.

 

[Quoll]

having a really rough time lately....

I'm seeing a psychopharmacologist who specializes in treatment resistant depression, in May - after 20 years of treatments that never quite did the trick (plus ECT). I wish I could feel hopeful about it but I have lived like this for so long that it's hard to really imagine another way.

I wish you well.

 

[Fflow]

I've started going to an Anxiety management class and had one meeting with a therapist. They want to start me on a low-dose SSRI but I'm worried that the costs will outweigh the benefits. My panic attacks are really infrequent, but severe when they happen. Any thoughts?

 

[Daizie]

I've started going to an Anxiety management class and had one meeting with a therapist. They want to start me on a low-dose SSRI but I'm worried that the costs will outweigh the benefits. My panic attacks are really infrequent, but severe when they happen. Any thoughts?

Hi Fflow! Long time no see, since the art thread was removed.

Anyway, I just wanted to respond here because I, too, suffer from anxiety/panic attacks. As a result I take Paxil daily and it helps me stay the course. Most insurance companies cover these meds. I find it well worth it so I don't have to suffer or worry when and where the next attack may occur. The peace of mind more than pays for the cost of the pills. Feel free to PM me with any questions.

To all who are suffering some sort of disorder or illness, I wish you peace, love and wellness.

 

[bambikiller]

I fight depression about once a year.
I'm luckly know it when it comes.
I get into an unproductive funk it when it comes but I also have learned to reconise it.
I fight it.
I have had times that I've wanted to wack my self but you think about what it would do to the people you love and love you, so I fight it.
Be strong fight it.
I'm still here, no drugs, no shrink (hell I got a psych minor, they don't know shit) fight it, thats all you can do.
Fight it and don't give up because if you do, you're a looser pushing up flowers.

 

[Noor]

I have been using a program called Moodscope

its free and private and I think it helps

 

[contrifan32]

I fight depression about once a year.
I'm luckly know it when it comes.
I get into an unproductive funk it when it comes but I also have learned to reconise it.
I fight it.
I have had times that I've wanted to wack my self but you think about what it would do to the people you love and love you, so I fight it.
Be strong fight it.
I'm still here, no drugs, no shrink (hell I got a psych minor, they don't know shit) fight it, thats all you can do.
Fight it and don't give up because if you do, you're a looser pushing up flowers.

I agree with some of what is said here... not by no means not all. I have learned (at least in my case) that the anxiety/depression takes on many forms, some easy to see and identify and some much more difficult. While it is easier to say then do, I will agree that fighting it when possible is a good exercise. Getting past a small event will sometimes offer relief that can help with those long term events that leave you physically and mentally drained.

I have found this a good place to read and relate which is helpful... knowing that you are not alone is key. Hang in there... dawn always comes.

 

[Fflow]

I desided to start taking a low dose ssri. I took my first half tab last night, and will continue for a week like that, then ramp up to a full dose: 20 mg. I'm hoping it helps. I'll let you know how I feel in a month or so.

 

[coastal-boy]

my wife suffers. The key I have found is consistency. If she is in charge of her meds, she'll either take too many or not take any at all and she is anything but stable. If I am in charge of her meds, her life becomes too comfortable so she complains that I am controlling her and that I don't trust her to take care of her own meds. It is a fucking no win situation for me no matter which path I choose.

 

[Fflow]

my wife suffers. The key I have found is consistency. If she is in charge of her meds, she'll either take too many or not take any at all and she is anything but stable. If I am in charge of her meds, her life becomes too comfortable so she complains that I am controlling her and that I don't trust her to take care of her own meds. It is a fucking no win situation for me no matter which path I choose.

Sounds like she could benefit from one of those intra-corporeal drug pumps.

 

[Bandit58]

I rang my son this morning and he told me that the migraines he's been having for a few years have now been diagnosed as depression.

He asked me if there was any sign of that in the family....I told him I'd been depressed when his sister was born and also in the years leading up to the breakup of the marriage between his father and me. I seem to remember my dad having some "black moods" at times too.

We had a good talk, he's started on antidepressants (half dose) and is having his first counselling session tomorrow, mainly to work out some coping strategies for when he feels like the world is getting on top of him (yes I know the feeling). He's told me not to worry, that he will get through it and he's not going to do anything silly.

Trouble is, he's in NZ and I'm in Australia, and not able to drop everything and rush over there. I guess we'll have to rely on weekly phone calls (we've been a bit slack and not kept in contact much).

 

[rowseyone]

I suffer panic attacks while driving which makes it hard. My comfort driving zone is very small. I suspect I am suffering from depression but that is most likely due to my divorce (which I am happy about) and the stress that was involved.

 

[Bandit58]

I suffer panic attacks while driving which makes it hard. My comfort driving zone is very small. I suspect I am suffering from depression but that is most likely due to my divorce (which I am happy about) and the stress that was involved.

I live in Sydney Australia and can relate to the driving thing. There's a small area around home that I feel comfortable driving in, so I can get to the hospital and shopping centre, but driving on a motorway? HA NO CHANCE.

Even as a passenger I am nervous when surrounded by traffic.....

 

[SweetErika]

On the driving, and really any anxiety, thing, have any of you had the opportunity to watch any of the recent shows about anxiety disorders, like hoarding and OCD?

I don't have either of those conditions, but I have found the information in the shows useful because I know the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy they use to treat all of the conditions really works well for me. The basic premise is to expose yourself to increasing levels of anxiety, then let it come down naturally. So for driving, slowly expanding your "safe zone" to actually induce your anxiety is the way to go, even though it seems counterintuitive and feels harmful.

Anyway, it might be something to look into if anxiety is having a negative impact on your life.