Desultory and Impulsive
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y=mx+b
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She sent me a photo
Some time ago
Because circumstances have made the continuation of such an exchange--dangerous. It makes me sad because I really liked getting them. But it is what it is and unlikely to change.
I digess.
She sent me a photo some time ago of her laying on the bed with her dog. I think she had just woken up. It doesn't matter.
The way it was taken...you couldn't see much of either one of them. She was on her side and all you can see is her eye and smile peering over her silly happy dog positioned slightly off camera while the other half of her face remained obscured behind him.
She is looking dead center into the camera--smiling such an authentic smile that her whole body reflected it with no pretense or effort. And you can see it in her eye as if it alone was the mirror.
She's so happy.
She is so happy.
Some time ago
Because circumstances have made the continuation of such an exchange--dangerous. It makes me sad because I really liked getting them. But it is what it is and unlikely to change.
I digess.
She sent me a photo some time ago of her laying on the bed with her dog. I think she had just woken up. It doesn't matter.
The way it was taken...you couldn't see much of either one of them. She was on her side and all you can see is her eye and smile peering over her silly happy dog positioned slightly off camera while the other half of her face remained obscured behind him.
She is looking dead center into the camera--smiling such an authentic smile that her whole body reflected it with no pretense or effort. And you can see it in her eye as if it alone was the mirror.
She's so happy.
She is so happy.
y=mx+b
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Today is a big day
Got a lot of sawing to do
I want to clean up some of the trees we cut down last fall but wasn't able to finish because it got fuckcrazy cold then snowed then got fuckcrazy cold again then snowed and then I got all "fuck-it" and left it where it laid
And by "we cut" I mean my over zealous brother in law that comes up to be all farm-y farm-y for the weekend then leaves to go back to living his suburban life
Got a lot of sawing to do
I want to clean up some of the trees we cut down last fall but wasn't able to finish because it got fuckcrazy cold then snowed then got fuckcrazy cold again then snowed and then I got all "fuck-it" and left it where it laid
And by "we cut" I mean my over zealous brother in law that comes up to be all farm-y farm-y for the weekend then leaves to go back to living his suburban life
y=mx+b
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If I were to text her...
I would tell her how to-this-day
My fist still remembers how it felt
Slipping up inside of her body
That moment
You know?
That moment
Between it's-just-not-going-to-work
And
Oh... my god...
That teetering...
And then... her accepting me into her
Not... her.
But her body
Her want already accepted me
It was her body
We both had to be with
To quietly talk to
To romance and make love to
I miss that
I miss us
Exploring her
Together.
And so... yeah. That's what I would text her
Perhaps with not so many words
But just enough
To let her know.
I would tell her how to-this-day
My fist still remembers how it felt
Slipping up inside of her body
That moment
You know?
That moment
Between it's-just-not-going-to-work
And
Oh... my god...
That teetering...
And then... her accepting me into her
Not... her.
But her body
Her want already accepted me
It was her body
We both had to be with
To quietly talk to
To romance and make love to
I miss that
I miss us
Exploring her
Together.
And so... yeah. That's what I would text her
Perhaps with not so many words
But just enough
To let her know.
y=mx+b
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There is a character in my head that has abducted a woman and rapes her
She periodically passes out
I'm not yet sure if it's because he drugs her
Or if it's because of how violently he fucks her in total disregard
She wakes up to find herself strapped down and in stirrups
A speculum has her spread obscenely open.
She periodically passes out
I'm not yet sure if it's because he drugs her
Or if it's because of how violently he fucks her in total disregard
She wakes up to find herself strapped down and in stirrups
A speculum has her spread obscenely open.
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y=mx+b
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She sat in her car watching men enter and exit the bathroom of the public rest area.
It was mid-afternoon
The air was cool but the sun was warm
She was particularly fond of the husbands
How they casually made their way to the bathroom while their wife and children had a more--urgent approach.
There was always an air of controlled confidence about them
A level of certain control
She closed her eyes
Partially to remember and re-imagine the first time she took soft swollen head of a man's pissing cock into her mouth... and partially to forget and deny herself the recognition of how much she loved it... how much she wanted to be made to do it again.
It was mid-afternoon
The air was cool but the sun was warm
She was particularly fond of the husbands
How they casually made their way to the bathroom while their wife and children had a more--urgent approach.
There was always an air of controlled confidence about them
A level of certain control
She closed her eyes
Partially to remember and re-imagine the first time she took soft swollen head of a man's pissing cock into her mouth... and partially to forget and deny herself the recognition of how much she loved it... how much she wanted to be made to do it again.
y=mx+b
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She found herself becoming equally angery and frustrated
She hated how she had this desire
And how she couldn't bring herself to bring the subject up
To the man she was with--the very man that she loved!
Well... she could.
And he no doubt would indulge her
But...
But it wasn't his thing
And that's what she wanted
She wanted it to be his thing
His thing to make her do.
She hated how she had this desire
And how she couldn't bring herself to bring the subject up
To the man she was with--the very man that she loved!
Well... she could.
And he no doubt would indulge her
But...
But it wasn't his thing
And that's what she wanted
She wanted it to be his thing
His thing to make her do.
Icy1
Wandering through.
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I wish I could find somewhere
Where I felt as though I were a part of it.
I thought most of us were looking for that.
y=mx+b
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Nope. Just me.
Icy1
Wandering through.
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Well that's self indulgent.
y=mx+b
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Icy1
Wandering through.
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y=mx+b
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she watched him skip stones across the surface of the pond
It was a large pond
It was actually more like a mini-lake
Cat tails grew in the shallows around the bend
It was quiet
He was quiet
He was usually always there
At least whenever she came down to escape
She liked him
He was so--normal
And although he didn't know it
He made her forget for a moment
That she was a stripper
She liked that
She liked it very much
So much so
That she had taken to turning off her phone
Whenever she came down
The thing
And everything in it
It was all so--empty
Empty and fake.
It was a large pond
It was actually more like a mini-lake
Cat tails grew in the shallows around the bend
It was quiet
He was quiet
He was usually always there
At least whenever she came down to escape
She liked him
He was so--normal
And although he didn't know it
He made her forget for a moment
That she was a stripper
She liked that
She liked it very much
So much so
That she had taken to turning off her phone
Whenever she came down
The thing
And everything in it
It was all so--empty
Empty and fake.
y=mx+b
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It wasn't that she wanted to be a stripper
And it wasn't that she was forced
She had options
The opportunity came up and she took it
And she liked it
A lot
She liked the attention
She liked feeling wanted
--desired
It made her feel sexy
And sexy made her feel loved
Sex made her feel loved
And she loved feeling loved
She loved feeling a part of something
Even if that something
Was the selfish desire of someone else
It was a give and take really
And there really wasn't anything wrong with it
Everyone in her life was getting everything they wanted
Except for him
...the stone skipper.
The stupid thing was--he didn't even know her
She wasn't in his life
And he really wasn't in hers
Not for real anyway
He probably wasn't even aware of her there in the park
She watched him skip a stone
It made two hops across the water
And it wasn't that she was forced
She had options
The opportunity came up and she took it
And she liked it
A lot
She liked the attention
She liked feeling wanted
--desired
It made her feel sexy
And sexy made her feel loved
Sex made her feel loved
And she loved feeling loved
She loved feeling a part of something
Even if that something
Was the selfish desire of someone else
It was a give and take really
And there really wasn't anything wrong with it
Everyone in her life was getting everything they wanted
Except for him
...the stone skipper.
The stupid thing was--he didn't even know her
She wasn't in his life
And he really wasn't in hers
Not for real anyway
He probably wasn't even aware of her there in the park
She watched him skip a stone
It made two hops across the water
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y=mx+b
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Thank you
.She was early
Her boyfriend and his friend were eluding to another three way
And though the thought was tempting she had to dance later in the evening and wanted to maintain a level of... purity?
It was a stupid superstition
But it kept her together on stage
Perhaps later in the night if they didn't get drunk and turn into douche bags
She sat and waited for him
As time ticked on she found herself becoming disappointed
It was a different feeling of disappointment though
One she hadn't felt in a very long time
She was taken back by it
She didn't like it
She was counting on him
And she didn't like it one bit.
y=mx+b
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They were douchebags
But she fucked them anyway
She fucked them in part because they were douchebags
She fucked them to prove to them that she could--and would.
Her boyfriend was deep in her asshole while his friend throttled her vagina. She was just about ripped apart when her boyfriend got bent-kneed onto his feet and pulled her head back by her hair all without pulling out of her asshole.
He pulled her back hard
So much so that she was looking up at his face
She called him a fucker and he spit in her face
He then pushed her head down towards his friend so hard that if her arms weren't already braced to the floor she would have broken her nose on his forehead
"Slap this stupid cunt" was all that she heard before seeing stars and feeling the most outrageous orgasm she had felt for a very--very long time.
But she fucked them anyway
She fucked them in part because they were douchebags
She fucked them to prove to them that she could--and would.
Her boyfriend was deep in her asshole while his friend throttled her vagina. She was just about ripped apart when her boyfriend got bent-kneed onto his feet and pulled her head back by her hair all without pulling out of her asshole.
He pulled her back hard
So much so that she was looking up at his face
She called him a fucker and he spit in her face
He then pushed her head down towards his friend so hard that if her arms weren't already braced to the floor she would have broken her nose on his forehead
"Slap this stupid cunt" was all that she heard before seeing stars and feeling the most outrageous orgasm she had felt for a very--very long time.
y=mx+b
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Thank you also, Corbal
.1. 2. 3-4-5.
That was a good one
She didn't know why
But she felt happy for him whenever he got a good multiple skip
He always stood for a moment
Taking it in
It was just a second of a moment
But it was there.
She also felt good when there was a great distance between the skip
She liked those the best
It was as if time stopped
Everything fell silent
The water under the skipping stone--smooth
It's like
...a skip of the heart.
She didn't like that
She didn't like that
--because she didn't know what that felt like.
But she was able to imagine what it felt like
About as good as a woman that has never climaxed
Imagined what an orgasm felt like.
She watched him.
The sleeves of his shirt were rolled halfway up his arm.
y=mx+b
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He sat on the grass and looked out over the water.
He wasn't is usual self
At least--that she knew of.
She could see what looked to be a small collection of rocks in front of him that he didn't touch.
He just sat there
Cross legged
Drinking a cup of coffee
Looking out over the water.
She wondered what he was thinking
It dawned on her that she never really saw a man
Sitting and doing nothing else but... just... sitting
Observing
Thinking
No phone
No book
No e-reader
He cigarette or crossword puzzle
Just himself
A pile of rocks
A cup of coffee he wasn't even really drinking
And a pond
She watched him
He leaned forward as if he were about to stand
But he didn't
He brought his hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose
She determined he was fighting a sneeze
Or perhaps a headache
He drew in a deep breath and he held it longer than what one normally would
And he let it out
She watched him as his shoulders sunk forward
Then in an instant
He let go of whatever it was and sat upright
Wiping his nose with the back of his hand
He stood up
Thoughtlessly tossed a rock in the water
And walked away.
He wasn't is usual self
At least--that she knew of.
She could see what looked to be a small collection of rocks in front of him that he didn't touch.
He just sat there
Cross legged
Drinking a cup of coffee
Looking out over the water.
She wondered what he was thinking
It dawned on her that she never really saw a man
Sitting and doing nothing else but... just... sitting
Observing
Thinking
No phone
No book
No e-reader
He cigarette or crossword puzzle
Just himself
A pile of rocks
A cup of coffee he wasn't even really drinking
And a pond
She watched him
He leaned forward as if he were about to stand
But he didn't
He brought his hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose
She determined he was fighting a sneeze
Or perhaps a headache
He drew in a deep breath and he held it longer than what one normally would
And he let it out
She watched him as his shoulders sunk forward
Then in an instant
He let go of whatever it was and sat upright
Wiping his nose with the back of his hand
He stood up
Thoughtlessly tossed a rock in the water
And walked away.
