Desultory and Impulsive

[y=mx+b]

I wonder why I hate wealthy people.

I do.

I hate them.

Particularly the ones who are all like.... "I used to be a mechanic/ditch-digger/block-layer/nail-bender..."

As if to establish some kind of identity with me.

It's insulting

Usually it's something they did while in college. Over the summer.

Fair enough. Congratulations. You worked your way through school. But guess what? That doesn't make you anything like me.

It's like cadet out of ROTC commiserating with an infantryman about basic training.

It's a crock of shit. Fuck those people.

But I'll throw them a bone. Good for them for being born into a life of aspiration. If only they would see it as that and stop with all the pandering bullshit.

Because it's transparent and it makes me want to go ape and pummel their faces

Not that I would
Because if I did
I would break bones in my hand
And I need my hands at work

Both of them

 

[y=mx+b]

And dont get me going on the....

Hold on.... a new personal development just happened.


I don't hate wealthy people. They are actually pretty cool. Not really but when you say they are some will butter up to you

Or not.

I hate successful people.


Yeah... fuck them for being exactly what I am not.




Hey... look... CHEERIOS!


I think I am going to go cry in them. Seems like the thing to do.

Along with push-ups. Lots and lots of push-ups.

 

[Icy1]

Do you think wealthy people and successful people are the same?

 

[y=mx+b]

New Personal Development!!!

You know how I was being so down on myself for not being successful? Well.... I'm laying here in bed thinking how I gotta be successful at something right?

Then it hit me.

If there is one thing I succeed at
--it's hating myself.

I'm pretty good goddamn good at it.

But yet... there's still my hatred for successful people and because I am people--I hate myself all the more.

I wish there was something I was better at. Like making money and being awesome. Because at least I would have something other people could hate about me too.

 

[y=mx+b]

Do you think wealthy people and successful people are the same?

Some are. Some are not. I like to think they are because it makes things easier to generalize

 

[y=mx+b]

You know what I do like?

Barn swallows.

I never really much cared for them in the past. Never gave them much thought. Actually I kinda hated them too. They are kinda asshole-ish. And there's a lot of them. It's difficult to really appreciate something there is a lot of.

What's interesting is that anytime there is a lot of something, that something just becomes background.

It takes more effort of the mind to suss out anything unique of something there's a lot of.

Unless you have some time to sit alone and a beverage to drink.

As it turns out... Barn swallows are pretty fun to watch.

They are like little fighter pilots

The trick is that you gotta stay focused on one single bird.

They give me the impression that they like being swallows.

So many other birds get the attention. Eagles, hawks, hummingbirds, falcons, wrens, owls, finches, orioles and what-have-you.

Barn swallows... all they do is make mud nests wherever they want and shit outside of them. Loud cheepy shrill bastards that zoom past you all at once when you enter into whatever building they are in causing you to fear the safety of your eyes.

But seriously... They are so fucking fun to watch. What other bird is capable to skim so close to the earth as fast and for as long as a barn swallow? Zig-zagging between weeds, trees, people, and buildings?

And inside buildings!

I love it!

Now that it's nice out I keep the shop doors open. After everyone has left and I'm the only one there I'll turn down the music and within a half hour I'll have a pair of birds zipping across the floor taking out a mosquito or butterfly or just because they can and they always announce their entrance and exit and then they are gone.

All other birds that find themselves inside a building are like.. "oh... fuck." and look stupid flopping at a window trying to get out.

 

[y=mx+b]

A persistent desire that I have had...

...for as long as I can remember--to have my own personal human urinal.

And it's not like I have this piss fetish per say. Okay... I do alright. I do. Don't fucking judge me.

But you can if you want. I judge people all the time. Mostly because it's fun and it makes me feel better about myself.

But anyway... I have a piss fetish. Well it's amongst the other fetishes I have.


Anyway... I was pissing out one of the windows of our house--one of the perks of country life.

So i was shooting these long arching ropes of piss out the window, listening to each brief stream hit the lawn and I got to thinking... fuck it'd be great to have a woman into such things laying naked or bent over holding her cheeks apart for me to piss into her asshole.

Fuck I would like that.

 

[y=mx+b]

...the velocity at such a height
Gravity and force working together
To get what was in me--into her
Warm wet
Quickly cooling urine
Slattering all over her body

 

[y=mx+b]

I strung up one of those retractable cloths lines in the laundry room for my wife and A to hang their delicates on to dry. Although they knew about it for the longest time they still continued to prefer to use the drying rack against the wall.

However recently they have been using it like mad. It's almost as if there was this psychological barrier that kept them from doing so until the weather was nice enough to hang clothing outside.

So I've come to not much think about it and am content on ducking whenever I have to use the utility sink or... you know... do laundry.

Anyway, so I go in there and their delicates are hanging on the line like they have been most of the week. And I'm crouched down looking for paint brushes under the sink. I stand unobstructed and turn to step out having forgotten all about the cloths line only to be reminded by the lacy cup of A's delicate little bra brush in up against my cheek, and then her panties on the other cheek, and then the lacy large cup of my wife's bra bumping up against the head...

It was... it was glorious.

I'm not saying I got a thing for women's delicate wear... but I get it and confess that if I were a single guy and a one night stand left her panties behind I think I would keep them and hold them tight to my chest whilst I fell asleep laying on my side at night.

They are just so... nice.

Nice in a feminine comforting way.

 

[y=mx+b]

Also... my wife's tits are HUGE!
I bet 2 of A's bras could fit in one cup of my wife's bras.

Women are so fucking fabulous.

 

[y=mx+b]

This isn't so much erotic....

as it is just... darling

 

[y=mx+b]

And then I held her

I held her as though she meant something to me.
The thing was... she did.

I loved a love
The kind of love
A man learns from a woman

A deep love
A fallen love
With a beautiful darkness behind it
That faded away when she smiled
--when she talked

I fell in love

It was all so beyond my control
And I didn't care

I didn't care one bit.

 

[y=mx+b]

Marital molestation

Sometimes; at night, when my wife is sleeping, and wearing underwear, I will slowly glide my finger along the taut fabric of her panties that bridge the crack of her ass

I do so in the mind frame that I shouldn't be
I do so
Knowing full well that she doesn't know

That I don't have her permission

I do so
Slowly

Paying attention to the tension of fabric
Spanning across such a slight distance
A distance
Where below
Is where I want to feel my face

It all makes me so goddamn hard for her

The sound of her breathing
The quiet inhalation of her unawareness
The sensation of touching her body
And increasing the pressure of my finger against her
Feeling the folds of her labia
Hidden behind fabric I want to rip off
Poke up into her
Pull to the side
So I can feel her sleep wet body
Coat my fingers
With the slick fuck
My lips want to feel.

 

[y=mx+b]

Down in the valley

Dear The Head and the heart.

Every time I hear this song of yours I say to myself "No you don't."

 

[y=mx+b]

Laying tile.

I have no patience for it.
It's always something I think I like
But then I get to doing it
And by the 3rd tile I'm like "fuck this bullshit."

And then I see how much left there is to do.


Also... another thing I hate. Crossword puzzles
Seriously, let's combine spelling and trivia to test ones vocabulary. Honest to fuck

I hate how everything out there always makes me feel so goddamn stupid.

I just want to find something
--something beyond that of self-expression
That I excel at

I hate how I have no social value outside of novelty
I hate being the obscure party favor--the guy everyone hopes will show up to the party, but not really sure why.

I fucking hate it.

 

[y=mx+b]

I have it in my head that once this thread reaches 50k views--it's over.

Will it actually be over?
I think we all know the fucking goddamn answer to that question

But seriously
What the fuck do I gain--have I gained--by hemorrhaging so much cathartic navel gazing bullshit?

I don't give a shit about my reputation here
I'm not looking for intimate connections
I don't give a shit about turning people on
I'm not looking to be turned on
I reach out to no one
No one reaches out to me

The only thing this place does is enable me to brood further into the shitabyss

I seriously have nothing left to say
I have nothing to add

 

[y=mx+b]

But then...

In a day or two I'll kick out some epic bullshit and we all will be like...





fuck.

 

[y=mx+b]

Of course...

I might not.


Which would be fine by me.

 

[y=mx+b]

I don't think I sucked this much since... page 7.

I wonder what's up.

 

[y=mx+b]

Hope sprouts and she is plucked from the ground before budding and put in a waterless vase.

 

[y=mx+b]

No one talks to her
No one looks at her
She is just there
Alone

 

[y=mx+b]

A dark quiet
Hides in a book full of words

 

[y=mx+b]

Words
Hide in the heart of Hope

 

[y=mx+b]

None of them are read

 

[y=mx+b]

Somewhere
A girl
Hears her mother being slapped by a man

She hides in a room
With a vase
And a book.