Desultory and Impulsive

My desire to lick her asshole is maddening.

I want to text her so
But she's squeamish about such things.

Not so much such things being done to her
But about the talk of such things.

And I'm all about both
Talking about it and doing it

Me talking about it
Is like foreplay to myself

I fucking love it
I get so far up inside of my head
And I picture it all happening
And it's not much if a leap from picturing it
...and imagining it

To doing it.



It's all right fucking there
And I just want to tell her
How I want her on the edge of the bed
So I can kneel on the floor
Push her legs up to her chest
And lick her tight fucking asshole
And bury my nose and face deep into her crotch
And just go to town licking and tongue fucking her
And feeling it all make me so goddamn hard

It's so fucking stupid
It's such a fucking turn-on for me.
 
Don't you hate it when you blow the whole morning browsing sensual erotic images and some porn in a stupor of want and desire but not masturbating to it because the want and desire is so goddamn frustratingly strong that the act of masturbation would only serve as a reminder that what you are looking at is not real... is not something you are actually experiencing... but yet you blew the whole morning building up a want you know will never be experienced thereby making your life feel all the more pathetic because you had shit you wanted to accomplish but fuck if your fantasies aren't so much more enjoyable than your reality?
 
That's pretty much my every morning. And I'm always left with this... "if I could just redirect myself..." hope/feeling/want.
 
But then I remind myself how everyone is like that and I am no different and... yay us!
 
Sleepfuck her face
To stop her breathing beating heart
Lungs full of come
Kissing midnight bought borax bound
By broad spectrum antibiotic resistant
Assistant secretary sucking cock
Caught under the desk by the clock maker
Watch band breaker and a-fib widowmaker

Out by the dock

Fish jumping
Cat-tail fuzz and duck weed
Something swimming under the surface
Signaling a desired drink
Somewhere
In the ear of a distant memory
U2's song Numb plays
And you think you can make out the words
And that fantasy of wanting to fuck numb comes back

Dead like a corpse
You just want to lay
And stare blankly into space
Like a rape victim having given-up
Waiting for it all to just be over
Along with the rest of your life
That you've been wanting to begin living
But never really have
Not on your own terms.
 
Last edited:
Clean

Keep my thoughts
Killed quiet as I sleep

Calm
Collected
Kicked still
Into a smiling sonnet sun
Sounding aloud
An ember
Out into the night air
Leaving no errant mote
Of a memory
Wisping weary words
Where fingers touch
And footsteps fall
Like rain upon the fabric
Of a camouflage jacket
Just out of frame
Found curiously coy
Counting down the hours
Minutes
Days
Until the time comes
To kiss that kiss never felt
But thought of in the hugs
And hand shaking handcuffs
Cuffed so tight
Skin turns the turn of color
Dark burgundy bound lip red
Beat cut open
Dripping down
Down
Clean down.
 
She's wondering what I think about her thighs

I like them.


I have a memory of us playing a little game of me trying to spread them apart.

It was my first actual experience of having to fight for it. And I liked it. And I was surprised by just how strong she was. And how our struggle made me want her all the more... while at the same time humbled me and made me feel weak and was kind of embarrassing.

I remember her laying on her back looking down her body at me. Her eyes, the slight smirk of her lips and her single raised eyebrow, arching up in that way that she does when she's both proud and entertained by herself... watching me fight her... for her.

The strength in her thighs. The sensual sexual seductive form of her legs...

I want to fight her again. I want to feel her and see her and have her solicit my desire as she does so well. And I want that feeling... that battle-lust fuck-hungry feeling that pushes me.
 
Last edited:
She was thinking thoughts about my hands and her thighs.

She was wondering how dirty they were. What kind of marks they would leave on her inner thighs.

I was in the midst of removing the oil suction manifold out of a 2015 freightliner sleeper. I had already removed the drain pan.

She provided me a reason to take a small break. I took a pic of my hand as best I could while laying under the truck and sent it.

And I laid there thinking how I'd rip her clothing off. And how I wanted to rip her clothing off. Her fighting off my filthy oil-slick advancement. The grease and grime smearing off onto her clothing. Grains of grit and sand streaking up her sternum as my hand took hold the front of her bra between her tits and ripping it off. Covering her mouth with my hand... forcing a black diesel laced petroleum coated finger past her lips and deep into her throat. The smell of old oil and spent fuel covering up and over her.

I thought how she would struggle.
And how I would win.
 
I want to bury my face in crotch and asshole so goddamn bad right now.
 
I'm not fucking joking people.

Granted it's not like any of you can do anything about it so I'm going to take off and spend some time looking through her pics and feel the compounding want well up all the more inside me.
 
Some bodies I don't just want to fuck
Some I want to breath in
And roll around upon
And absorb their scent
To carry me throughout the day.

That pissy fuck-sweat stench
The kind that when read
Reads disgusting
But when acquired
Is debauched and delectable
A bouquet
Of comingled fuck
Slick lubricant and semen

Those are the same bodies
I want to taste
And smell my own spit upon

I love those kinds of bodies
I love them a lot.
 
I'm not fucking joking people.

Granted it's not like any of you can do anything about it so I'm going to take off and spend some time looking through her pics and feel the compounding want well up all the more inside me.

Just fucking call her already! Gesh!!!
 
Lazy grey day sex
Of just touching
And holding
And soft hard slow sliding
Like the quiet lapping waters
Bumping up against a dock bottom
Rising
And receding
That soft wet
Like a water brush
Who's bristles fan softly out
Under the surface
And come
To a fine point
When pulled out
Or the swaying kelp
Greens against blues
Flowing together to and fro
Following no one lead
But lead together
Under covers
Cloaked in such an intimate
Kind of privacy
Hidden behind the kind of beauty
Only a grey kind of day
Can provide
 
...and my hand touches her
Not with the fevered pitch
Of a clandestine affair
But with the knowledge of her
Of her body
Of her familiarity of my touch
And there is no push-back
There is no struggle
No fight
There is just a sinking into each other
An understanding of each other
A recognition of each other
As individuals
We become an individual
And we move together
Fingers laced
Lips touching
And with her eyes closed
I read her
And follow her thoughts
To a beating heart
She knows I will never let go
And the spring rain
Melts clean
The last bit of winter snow
And the dirt once upon it
Returns to the Earth
And the water once in it
Returns back to the rivers
Back to the lakes and oceans
And back into the clouds
 
...and my hand touches her
Not with the fevered pitch
Of a clandestine affair
But with the knowledge of her
Of her body
Of her familiarity of my touch
And there is no push-back
There is no struggle
No fight
There is just a sinking into each other
An understanding of each other
A recognition of each other
As individuals
We become an individual
And we move together
Fingers laced
Lips touching
And with her eyes closed
I read her
And follow her thoughts
To a beating heart
She knows I will never let go
And the spring rain
Melts clean
The last bit of winter snow
And the dirt once upon it
Returns to the Earth
And the water once in it
Returns back to the rivers
Back to the lakes and oceans
And back into the clouds

Beautiful. I wish I could be made love to like that. Just a slow becoming of one and drifting off into the after bliss.
 
I felt
The color of her heart
Beat inside my chest

It was like
Static of a radio station
Tuned next to that
Of a midnight college station
Playing avant-garde music

And I wanted to get close
And make her feel clear to me
Or... I to her
But when I did
My attempt turned to a fiction
The kind where I tried to hold onto her...

...but she was slipping
 
Back
Top