Distrust in Men. Help.

[rockcasbah]

And most men have performance issues they need to take pills for at your lifepoint, so you're saying what exactly?

Don’t be a cunt…. it’s quite common for women to dye their hair blonde and get back in the saddle after a heartbreak .

Encouraging the OP to ride the pink pony asap is good advice, so fuck off.

 

[rockcasbah]

I'll stop being a cunt if you stop being a dick. I have zero tolerance for insecure assholes like you who feel the need to abuse women in order to compensate for whatever you're lacking.

Recommending that a woman dye her hair and find a new man is standard procedure.
Most of the women here have done it.
Fuck off.

 

[Saltfountain]

Yes most of the women here will have dyed their hair.

But not because they were trying to recover from abuse.

I've suffered sexual abuse. Dying my fucking hair and getting laid again was never the answer to my issues. It's a fucking awful road. A road where it felt much easier to give up and end it all than carry on trying to survive,let alone fight.

But I'm still here. And so is OP. So fucking well done to her. She escaped and she gets to try again. But arsehole answers to her questions (whether you agree with her or not) are just another form of abuse.

So if you want to be part of the problem, carry on. If not, stfu if you can't say anything supportive and helpful

 

[rockcasbah]

Stop abusing me with your manhate!

 

[Lotrgal205]

One of my wife's friends survived an abusive relationship and had to go through a traumatic divorce.

We supported her through the process and still do. She went off men for five years - except for me because I was in a long term marriage and wasn't a threat - just her friend's husband who would make myself scarce if she was upset.

She has found another man, who treats her well, but every time she sees me, with or without her husband, I get hugged just for being there for her when she needed us.

It takes time to heal and friends can help.

“It takes time to heal and friends can help.”

YES!

So glad you and your wife were there for her!

 

[Lotrgal205]

Recommending that a woman dye her hair and find a new man is standard procedure.
Most of the women here have done it.
Fuck o

Don't be a pussy. Nobody but you is responsible for your happiness. There are four billion men (and an equal number of women, if you decide to go that direction) on Earth. If one doesn't fit your ideal, move on to the next and don't give it another thought

There are cunts out there of all genders and sexual persuasions.
I'm not defending your ex in any way shape or form, he sounds like a total and utter cunt. But is this a distrust of men or a distrust of relationships?




Comments like this are pathetic and unnecessary, and will reinforce your view that men are generally cunts



But comments like this won't help either.

If it's seen as a pure male vs female thing, it will only lead to further pain and upset. You're a woman physically attracted to men (or it seems that way). So if you do decide to date again, it will likely be with a male. Having the nagging doubt in your mind that all males are untrustworthy won't help with finding the right person for you.
As others have said, go out, make friends, have fun and see what (if anything) develops. Going out looking for a relationship is a recipe for disaster

I would say it’s men. I have had relationships with women, and they were wonderful!

Thank you.

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

A little background: I came out of an 8-year emotionally and verbally abusive marriage three years ago.

I went on a date a few days ago and I thought it went well. We had been talking a couple weeks prior and we seemed to click wonderfully! The next day, however, he told me he was considering dating his ex-wife after telling me there was no chance they would get back together.

I embarrassingly cried for four hours that night because I felt so foolish! It was like a bad April Fool’s joke.

Fast forward to today where I was supposed to meet my cousin for brunch, and he stood me up.

I KNOW all men aren’t abusive and terrible. I know there are some genuinely good men, but now I’m not sure if I ever want to open myself up to the possibility of meeting someone like that due to my past interactions with men.

Can any of you relate to this? Am I just being completely sexist and rude and judgmental?

We my wife and I, have several folks we know who can relate in SPADES. Just before leaving Friday my ersatz daughter asked how to tell the turds from the good folks. There are clues to indicate you can, or cannot rely on another person. BUT, the clues are not obvious to one who has learned to accept disrespect and poor treatment. In addition, the indicators are found in attitudes and comments that might be ignored, ESPECIALLY if you are anxious to have someone in your life. To add to the problem, many of the turds are highly skilled at their craft.
You have my sympathy for your situation is anything but easy and simple. Remember, that you have been trained to be gullible and unlearning that can be done but it will take perseverance and, likely, some assistance.
As suggested, counseling could well be helpful.

 

[Saltfountain]

I would say it’s men. I have had relationships with women, and they were wonderful!

Thank you.

Fair enough. Then I will butt out of this convo as a man. Good luck though

 

[Champakian]

Comments like these are incredibly rude and uncalled for. They speak more to your lack of character and decency than anything else.

Mine addressed more than one level and it provoked no thought.
Your problem with men might be stupidity...

 

[Saltfountain]

Your comment was just unnecessarily offensive

 

[Champakian]

Oh boo hoo...

Coming to a porn board for your daily dose of drama and sympathy is even more offensive.

 

[Saltfountain]

Ahhhhh, I get it now. You come on a porn board = it's ok to abuse people. Gotcha

 

[Champakian]

We have a place called the Playground where performance alts are celebrated.

The both of you should seek it out. There's also the GB Lounge, AKA Snowflake Corner
where all of the bad comments that hurt your willow feelings are tossed out like you toss feelings...

 

[Champakian]

Here's where you easily triggered types can go for GB advice:

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...n-phone-for-family-sexual-counseling.1564034/

 

[rockcasbah]

Sad Breakup Grrls are good to have around for predators like Luk…. But we should at least get to see her tits.

Even fat ugly old cows like Butters started out here with shots of her udders pressed up against the glass in the shower.

Where’s the pride in sluthood with these whiners???

 

[oneblueye]

Yes most of the women here will have dyed their hair.

But not because they were trying to recover from abuse.

I've suffered sexual abuse. Dying my fucking hair and getting laid again was never the answer to my issues. It's a fucking awful road. A road where it felt much easier to give up and end it all than carry on trying to survive,let alone fight.

But I'm still here. And so is OP. So fucking well done to her. She escaped and she gets to try again. But arsehole answers to her questions (whether you agree with her or not) are just another form of abuse.

So if you want to be part of the problem, carry on. If not, stfu if you can't say anything supportive and helpful

Oh please will all you ignorant muthafuckers cut it out---,
if asshole answers were actually abusive those in 'power and on high' woulda cut their membership by 98% by now.

 

[twister947]

I have livestock with better manners...

 

[Akinkymind]

Lotrgal, my sincere condolences on your past abuse, and my heartfelt admiration for getting out of a toxic relationship! I know that must have taken a lot of strength and courage, and there is no reason whatsoever for the way you were treated by your ex. I think there are a few issues here that you are lumping together, and they might be easier to address separately. The first one is that dating dynamics are inherently awkward, and are not particularly easy (or safe) to trust anyone; male or female! That trust comes gradually, over time; and probably means sorting through a number of people who are not deserving of your trust to find some who are. The second one is your ability to feel like you can trust men in general, which is completely understandable given the experiences that you went through. That cannot be overstated: you have nothing to feel guilty about being reluctant to trust any man at this point. On the other hand, justified or not, recognize that you are also limiting yourself by not being able to trust men at all, as there are plenty of wonderful experiences to be had that are only possible with a certain amount of trust in a person.

My suggestion would be to focus more on what you need, and what you’re ready for now. In my opinion, dating is something that is likely to reinforce a lot of negative and defensive feelings at this point. If you are looking to develop your own ability to read men, and trust some of them, I think that developing platonic relationships is an easier avenue to explore…for all kinds of reasons. Just food for thought, but I certainly hope you are able to enjoy future relationships to their fullest potential, and not let your past abuser take anything more from you than he already has.

 

[WillJ8787]

A little background: I came out of an 8-year emotionally and verbally abusive marriage three years ago.

I went on a date a few days ago and I thought it went well. We had been talking a couple weeks prior and we seemed to click wonderfully! The next day, however, he told me he was considering dating his ex-wife after telling me there was no chance they would get back together.

I embarrassingly cried for four hours that night because I felt so foolish! It was like a bad April Fool’s joke.

Fast forward to today where I was supposed to meet my cousin for brunch, and he stood me up.

I KNOW all men aren’t abusive and terrible. I know there are some genuinely good men, but now I’m not sure if I ever want to open myself up to the possibility of meeting someone like that due to my past interactions with men.

Can any of you relate to this? Am I just being completely sexist and rude and judgmental?

Good men are out there.... relationships can be difficult...I wish for you the best and that you find someone who works for you.

 

[Lotrgal205]

Lose the marriage weight...


:nods:

Oh boo hoo...

Coming to a porn board for your daily dose of drama and sympathy is even more

Oh boo hoo...

Coming to a porn board for your daily dose of drama and sympathy is even more offensive.

There was absolutely nothing in my post that even hinted I was looking for sympathy. Sometimes it’s nice to know that you’re not the only one going through shit, even if it is on a porn site. But thanks for assuming I was here to whine.

 

[rockcasbah]

There was absolutely nothing in my post that even hinted I was looking for sympathy.

Hahahahaha!

 

[LukSkyFokker]

There was absolutely nothing in my post that even hinted I was looking for sympathy. Sometimes it’s nice to know that you’re not the only one going through shit, even if it is on a porn site. But thanks for assuming I was here to whine.

The idiot you replied to owns a mail order bride. Pay him no mind, no one else does

 

[ericalauren]

Don't be a pussy. Nobody but you is responsible for your happiness. There are four billion men (and an equal number of women, if you decide to go that direction) on Earth. If one doesn't fit your ideal, move on to the next and don't give it another thought.

Don't use "pussy" to mean coward. Do better.

 

[rockcasbah]

Don't use "pussy" to mean coward. Do better.

Show us your pronouns!

 

[Champakian]

There was absolutely nothing in my post that even hinted I was looking for sympathy. Sometimes it’s nice to know that you’re not the only one going through shit, even if it is on a porn site. But thanks for assuming I was here to whine.

It looks, from here, that you came for the sympathy and stayed for the drama...