Do men ever actually crave romance?

[hulmule]

Something i truly miss, an affectionate woman. I'm in a sexless marriage. Wife has no interest in holding hands, kissing etc. In menopause, depression. meds. What i would do for an evening with an affectionate woman .to neck, touch and caress each other. Make love, couple drinks, eat, back to bed. Start all over.. Love morning romance also.

 

[Lady2020]

Yes, and intimacy.

 

[Cherry_Brandy]

I think some must do. Many of my friends are on fairly recent second marriages and their new husbands all go the extra mile on the romance side.

It's lovely to see and shows there's hope for all of us.

 

[fgarvb1]

Not sex, not "the chase"/pursuit, but actual romance. Like holding hands, a makeout session with a long term significant other, buying flowers just because, etc.

As a woman, I love making his favorite food for dinner just because, or putting on lingerie before he gets home to spice up the mood. I get a thrill from a kiss on the head, the emotional closeness a pure expression of affection brings. Is this a purely female need? I am genuinely curious.

I was married to my last wife before she discovered that II was a hopless romantic.

Because I had already foundout she was hopeless in the romance department.

No going out to celibate or anything else no flowers unless they were delivered to her work(when she worked) so other could see.

No sex on birthdays, anniversaries on any other holidays or time for that
matter. ect.

 

[Tasman69]

Not sex, not "the chase"/pursuit, but actual romance. Like holding hands, a makeout session with a long term significant other, buying flowers just because, etc.

As a woman, I love making his favorite food for dinner just because, or putting on lingerie before he gets home to spice up the mood. I get a thrill from a kiss on the head, the emotional closeness a pure expression of affection brings. Is this a purely female need? I am genuinely curious.

Actually I really enjoy holding hands, cuddling naked, skinny dipping together and kissing without it necessarily leading to sex. It sure does build anticipation. I would love to come home and find a woman in lingerie. God knows my wife could not be bothered.

 

[ChasBozwell30]

Not sex, not "the chase"/pursuit, but actual romance. Like holding hands, a makeout session with a long term significant other, buying flowers just because, etc.

As a woman, I love making his favorite food for dinner just because, or putting on lingerie before he gets home to spice up the mood. I get a thrill from a kiss on the head, the emotional closeness a pure expression of affection brings. Is this a purely female need? I am genuinely curious.

absolutely, i love this kind of physical/emotional intimacy. It's what i crave the most.

 

[LTMMC]

Not sex, not "the chase"/pursuit, but actual romance. Like holding hands, a makeout session with a long term significant other, buying flowers just because, etc.

As a woman, I love making his favorite food for dinner just because, or putting on lingerie before he gets home to spice up the mood. I get a thrill from a kiss on the head, the emotional closeness a pure expression of affection brings. Is this a purely female need? I am genuinely curious.

I am glad you asked the question, and I am glad you got such a diversity of answers. And I am even more glad one of the outcomes was that stereotype guesses about men and women do not hold. In neither direction.

Only suggestion I'd like to make: can we find a different term than "romantic"? I would prefer calling all this "affection with some substance", to differentiate if from kitschy connotations.

 

[rlb2444]

I see couples all the time that treat each other like a brother or sister. I have seen them open their cell phones as soon as the sit down. I guess that is normal for some people but I can't relate having a mate that is more like a buddy than someone you have a deep feeling for. I still get excited to see her like I did we were 15 years old. I love to surprise her and make her feel special. I have people all the time tell me how my wife brags about me when I am not around just as I do her. I can't imagine it any other way.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Some might, I don't believe the majority of the ones who visit sites like this, do.

Just my two cents

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm being wooed at the moment. That is significantly comprised of some totally awesomely hot phone sex. But he is also sending me poetry. And calling me when he senses I'm unbalanced a little bit with the weirdness of our situation ... nothing more romantic than a man who wants to make you feel better, even if you feeling not-good isn't his 'fault' ... in fact, especially then.

 

[2LookersLookin]

Nice to see so many men waxing poetic about romance

 

[dixonjay999]

Not sex, not "the chase"/pursuit, but actual romance. Like holding hands, a makeout session with a long term significant other, buying flowers just because, etc.

As a woman, I love making his favorite food for dinner just because, or putting on lingerie before he gets home to spice up the mood. I get a thrill from a kiss on the head, the emotional closeness a pure expression of affection brings. Is this a purely female need? I am genuinely curious.

Absolutely! My wife and I might have an alternative and sexually open life style in comparison to traditional marital norms, but I love everything about her and I want to go out of my way to express it and make sure she knows it. And its not just for her, I need it too.

Two days ago, I heard Blue Sky by the Allman Brothers and it made me think of her so I sent her the following whatsapp message:

That might be cheesy on its surface but she knows I love that song and that I really do mean it. She also knows my personality and that me expressing how much she means to me in such a manner is 1/2 tongue and cheek, but the premise of the words are true. It feels good inside knowing I was probably able to put a smile on her face and brighten her day for just a tiny bit. I also enjoy receiving a random kissing emoji from her while at work.

A long makeout session with no expectation of sex is fulfilling in itself. The closeness and the passion felt for one another satisfies other needs and desires. Being loved, needed and wanted is a much deeper and longer lasting pleasure than sex.

Almost every Saturday we have a "date-night" or couple time, and I will usually surprise her with flowers, a slice of her favorite cake/pie or some other small gesture. She knows I love lingerie so she always puts something sexy on for me. We chat over drinks and snacks, regularly caressing and kissing each other. Then we either watch a movie/tv show or put on romantic mood setting music and I massage and love every inch of her body using oils and creams. A lot of playful teasing happens during this time. Finally, we usually top the night off with a little BDSM to satisfy our sexual appetites and needs. If we didn't have all the romance prior, our sessions wouldn't be anywhere close to as intense.

Sex is always good, but a deeper feeling of arousal and passion with love and romance enhances it.

 

[munch2much]

I think this was a fair question to ask.
And obviously all guys will be somewhere along the spectrum of possibilities.
I love romance.
I think most of all I love knowing that I’m making someone I care about happy.
I definitely do some things more than others. Some don’t feel right for me or the other person. So you find a kinda balance. But occasionally a partner really isn’t into it. Not the end of the world. It takes all sorts and it’s just one peace of a big picture.

 

[Athalia]

Do men ever crave romance?

I've met a few.

The trouble usually lies in the definition of "romance." It could mean compliments, praises, and enormous amounts of attention. Some men want that. These same men equate their "craving romance" with satisfying their craving for sex, and romancing them means dancing the dance that leads them to believe that the relationship will eventually end up in bed.

The most troublesome are the ones that define "romance" as an ineffable longing for the presence of another person. They crave this like a thirsty person craves water, but they're not always good at expressing it for fear that in doing so, they will be seen as needy and will drive their partner away. For them, romance means being in love, not falling in love. The women who fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat (of which, sad to say, I once considered myself one) are not seen as romantic to them, because the commitment is transient. That used to be my definition of "romantic" back in the day ... being swept off my feet by someone, but leaving him in search of another man who could sweep me off my feet.

i finally realized that there are men like that, too ... men who want to be swept off their feet, but are always looking for that next woman (or man) who comes along and makes the play for them that rekindles that form of romance. Those were the ones who felt compelled to dance the dance, but who grew tired of it because their partners weren't "romantic enough" anymore, and went off to find the next dancer.

Does any of this make as much sense to anybody else as it does to me"

 

[Conager]

100%^

We have all been conditioned by books and movies to crave the infatuation phase of a budding relationship.

The old and familiar is not a source for that. The excitement present in the shiny and new has an unfair advantage.

Then what? (Whatcha gonna do when the new wears off and the old shines through.)

I can't think of the song or the artist but there's a country sound about some girl that has shoes that sit in the closet because she keeps buying new ones. Goes on to list all of the things she is fickle about. Delusional male protagonist/singer is confident that he ain't goin' out like that (woah, whoahhhh) because he's harder to leave.

Lots of really bad, romantic relationship advice in country songs with male leads. For some reason female country singers give better advice. "Get over him and on with your life."

I highly reccomend Miranda Lambert for breakup songs.

 

[jehoram]

I highly reccomend Miranda Lambert for breakup songs.

To me, the king of breakup songs is John Prine. His "Blue Umbrella" has a great quatrain:

Just give me one good reason
And I promise I won't ask you anymore.
Just give me one extra season
So I can figure out the other four.

And "Far from Me"

"Will you come see me tomorrow?"
"No, I got too much to do."
Well a question ain't really a question
If you know the answer, too.

 

[Stephen15]

"Do men ever actually crave romance?"

Not sex, not "the chase"/pursuit, but actual romance. Like holding hands, a makeout session with a long term significant other, buying flowers just because, etc.

As a woman, I love making his favorite food for dinner just because, or putting on lingerie before he gets home to spice up the mood. I get a thrill from a kiss on the head, the emotional closeness a pure expression of affection brings. Is this a purely female need? I am genuinely curious.

Absolutely! And I wonder if some men might like romance than they even know - especially if they're familiar only bad or fake romance from schmaltzy movies or songs. Worse if knowledge of sex and relationships is shaped by porn or bad movies, TV, and books. But genuine romance - that is, realistic, intelligent, mutual, and exciting is still the ideal, whether it's a short-term or long-term relationship. Love goes beyond: it's more complicated and takes time to grow, but it's well worth pursuing. Unfortunately, we happen to live in rather cynical, unromantic times.

Some might, I don't believe the majority of the ones who visit sites like this, do.

Just my two cents

This is very true! I think we're often drawn to sites like this out of excess of sexual need, something we're not getting from our own relationships and experiences beyond the Internet, whether they derive from loneliness, avoidance, boredom, anxiety, ravenousness from some emotional need that's gone unfulfilled, or even too much coffee (it has a way of getting the blood flowing). But I'm sorry to say, I think one is not likely to find much in the way of romance on a site like this. The environment doesn't really seem conducive to romance by its very design.

Sexual needs are important, but a bit distinct from emotional need - sometimes one just needs relief (the cliché likening the sexual urge to an itch that needs to be scratched feels fitting). Sex without love or romance can feel kind of shallow and empty. Though I'd like to believe that in the best relationships sexual fulfillment is intertwined with love and constantly renewed with romance.

 

[Bramblethorn]

The most troublesome are the ones that define "romance" as an ineffable longing for the presence of another person. They crave this like a thirsty person craves water, but they're not always good at expressing it for fear that in doing so, they will be seen as needy and will drive their partner away. For them, romance means being in love, not falling in love. The women who fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat (of which, sad to say, I once considered myself one) are not seen as romantic to them, because the commitment is transient. That used to be my definition of "romantic" back in the day ... being swept off my feet by someone, but leaving him in search of another man who could sweep me off my feet.

i finally realized that there are men like that, too ... men who want to be swept off their feet, but are always looking for that next woman (or man) who comes along and makes the play for them that rekindles that form of romance. Those were the ones who felt compelled to dance the dance, but who grew tired of it because their partners weren't "romantic enough" anymore, and went off to find the next dancer.

Does any of this make as much sense to anybody else as it does to me"

Some people call this "new relationship energy" (NRE).

 

[KimGordon67]

Some people call this "new relationship energy" (NRE).

I was just explaining this to the guy I've just started seeing the other day ... it is awesome, and I can see how it gets addictive. One of the characters in You Me Her (or whichever the order the words are) fits this totally.

 

[coati]

Only suggestion I'd like to make: can we find a different term than "romantic"? I would prefer calling all this "affection with some substance", to differentiate if from kitschy connotations.

I agree with your suggestion.

I have encouraged myself and other men to examine why sex alone does not fill the void in their lives for much longer than the act itself.

The consistent answer is what they are really craving is intimacy, and sex without affection does not achieve this more satisfying state of feeling connected.

 

[JJA122]

Do men ever crave romance?

I've met a few.

The trouble usually lies in the definition of "romance." It could mean compliments, praises, and enormous amounts of attention. Some men want that. These same men equate their "craving romance" with satisfying their craving for sex, and romancing them means dancing the dance that leads them to believe that the relationship will eventually end up in bed.

The most troublesome are the ones that define "romance" as an ineffable longing for the presence of another person. They crave this like a thirsty person craves water, but they're not always good at expressing it for fear that in doing so, they will be seen as needy and will drive their partner away. For them, romance means being in love, not falling in love. The women who fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat (of which, sad to say, I once considered myself one) are not seen as romantic to them, because the commitment is transient. That used to be my definition of "romantic" back in the day ... being swept off my feet by someone, but leaving him in search of another man who could sweep me off my feet.

i finally realized that there are men like that, too ... men who want to be swept off their feet, but are always looking for that next woman (or man) who comes along and makes the play for them that rekindles that form of romance. Those were the ones who felt compelled to dance the dance, but who grew tired of it because their partners weren't "romantic enough" anymore, and went off to find the next dancer.

Does any of this make as much sense to anybody else as it does to me"

Yes. These feelings go through my head very often.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

Not in my experience. My experience tells they say & do things to get laid but that is about it.

 

[jehoram]

Not in my experience. My experience tells they say & do things to get laid but that is about it.

You just haven't met the right guys yet, Anny. But yes, they do want to get laid. That's biology talking. But some want something else from the relationship, too.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

You just haven't met the right guys yet, Anny. But yes, they do want to get laid. That's biology talking. But some want something else from the relationship, too.

You've found men who actually want a relationship? Lucky!

 

[jehoram]

You've found men who actually want a relationship? Lucky!

I've found a few, and am one myself. I have wonderful memories of being romanced, and still have some of the poems and artwork that women have sent me when they were doing so.