Do you believe in ''Cliques'' here in the Lounge or Srp forum?

[Ahren]

There's perverts, scary perverts, and dirty minded folk.
The higher majority of my friends are the last grouping.

And even you, dear, fall into that.

I just don't understand the logic of "I shouldn't be too nice to this person because they might be a creep."

Yeah a lot of people on this forum are creeps, but who cares? I mean, look what forum you're on. If anything one of those PMs are just big red arrows over the heads of people you now know to avoid. It's not like they can actually do anything more than type some text at you.

 

[Mephistophelily]

I just don't understand the logic of "I shouldn't be too nice to this person because they might be a creep."

Yeah a lot of people on this forum are creeps, but who cares? I mean, look what forum you're on. If anything one of those PMs are just big red arrows over the heads of people you now know to avoid. It's not like they can actually do anything more than type some text at you.

That's not completely what I meant.
I used to be as open as I was with those I knew for awhile with some new folk. That made them believe I was flirting with them. And then there's folk who believe that any immediate interaction from another person is invitation to take things further RIGHT NOW.

 

[Alana_]

I can't address the replies right now, as it's late and I'm tired, but THANK YOU all for being so fluid with your responses.
I don't usually manage to create or think of a topic that is much more than a bit of fun, so I'm very pleased to see the replies, and everyones opinions.

Thank you everyone. I'll hopefully have a few more to read in the morning.

 

[Light Ice]

I totally understand your point Alan, clique has such a nasty connotative definition for many many people that it can be difficult to overcome. When I went to Jr. High and highschool they made a pretty big deal about not forming cliques. Rather than discuss what they actually meant they took a perfectly normal word and totally demonized it for an entire generation of people. So sad... But then again words are my friends

The word itself has a definition. Learn it.

The primary issue people have with the word clique is the mental imagery it spawns. We instantly visualize the jocks with letter jackets and popped collars, the cheerleaders with short skirts and false too high laughs, the geeks with glasses and pocket protectors, the goths with make up, etc etc. More so than images of groups, we remember how isolated and hostile those groups could be. It's not so much that they gravitated together, it was the insecure, juvenile, and hostile way they treated others. That attitude is what all those overworked but "well intentioned" educaters were trying to avoid, not "cliques".

By definition cliques tend to be or at least appear to be hostile to outsiders. Again, you're a shitty friend to words if you can't be arsed to learn a definition.

 

[Mephistophelily]

By definition cliques tend to be or at least appear to be hostile to outsiders.

And this is why I agree with Alana on the whole reluctance to use Clique as a descriptive to all groups here. There are obvious gatherings... But completely hostile? Not exactly the term I'd go for. I guess I just find myself blanking on a better description.
Unfortunately, it does seem the closest to fit.
Club? Neh....
Crew? Pretty sure that phrase died in the late 80s...

 

[Vail_Indigo]

And this is why I agree with Alana on the whole reluctance to use Clique as a descriptive to all groups here. There are obvious gatherings... But completely hostile? Not exactly the term I'd go for. I guess I just find myself blanking on a better description.
Unfortunately, it does seem the closest to fit.
Club? Neh....
Crew? Pretty sure that phrase died in the late 80s...

Posse?
Nah, that sort of implies a leader.

 

[Mephistophelily]

Posse?
Nah, that sort of implies a leader.

We need a new term.
I suggest "Lit Lump".

 

[Vail_Indigo]

We need a new term.
I suggest "Lit Lump".

I feel the urge to use 'kibbutz'

 

[SoulWeaver]

As someone new here, yes, there are very obvious cliques, across all the boards. I've lurked for a long, long, time as the SRP forums are pretty tightly knit. I wanted to write though. So it becomes, a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't thing.

Anyway, cliques don't have to be bad, some are open, some are closed. Lit is a cross section of any social grouping, albeit leaning towards the intense, purely by the linking passion of words.

Do we (newbies) have to join cliques to fit in. Probably, in some for at least, especially if the interaction is a driving force.

So will I fit in? *Meh,* . . . unlikely

 

[monique_minx]

Wow....sooo not reading all that crap before me. Sorry guys, skimmed it but I just can't be fucked reading everyone's opinions. Don't care if you read mine or not either

My view on cliques here?
Yeah, I guess people get stuck with others whom they just prefer to hang with and others they don't like so much. You won't catch me hanging with someone who can't fucking spell on here for instance. Or at least, not for long.

But that's the same in real life isn't it? It's just a more sexual context here in most cases.

I gravitate all over, I'm not a huge gamer fan of any kind but I have lots of gamer friends IRL (for some reason) and I call them 'nerds' and whatever else when they tell me what game they're playing. But it's all good fun and they know I'm serious about 0.000001% of the time lol!

I suppose some people would say I belong to a clique here but really, I think I sort of shift between everyone and I'm welcoming to everyone IMO. Some people may not agree with me and that's fine too but that's how I see myself here and IRL.

You will never catch me in a club or at a party being the bitch that leaves someone out. I make it my business to drag those people who seem to be left out, into the limelight so they can enjoy themselves. I find that if I am kind to the hardly known or the new people, everyone else finds it easier to let those people in as well.

Who wants to waste their time being socially awkward?
I just dive the fuck in and to hell with what people think.

It works too. I used to be the shy duckling in the corner at school, it just made me a target for bullying so I just tried a new approach and it worked, bullies backed off me for fear of reprisal....now if only I could get away from all these 'friends' I've got

 

[Ahren]

So little of that actually has anything to do with the topic.

 

[Hikari]

I dunno about cliques...I'll talk to anyone that wants to talk to me on here really. Except for those random newbies with one or two posts that proposition me for IM sex via private message, and I'm like...who fuck is that?? I can't be the only one getting those...

 

[monique_minx]

So little of that actually has anything to do with the topic.

Aaaaaaaaaaand neither did this ^

Please sign your posts with "In my opinion" from now on Ahren, because, it is in fact, JUST your opinion after all.

I dunno about cliques...I'll talk to anyone that wants to talk to me on here really. Except for those random newbies with one or two posts that proposition me for IM sex via private message, and I'm like...who fuck is that?? I can't be the only one getting those...

You're not, most of us have been here long enough to know who to block when those get sent to us but occasionally...you still find one idiot who'll do it.
It's why I stay invisible now as opposed to appearing online.

 

[Ahren]

But that wasn't an opinion. Alana asked if people believed cliques exist on the forum, not for an in-depth analysis of your social life online and off. Seems like you just took it as another opportunity to talk about yourself.

 

[monique_minx]

But that wasn't an opinion. Alana asked if people believed cliques exist on the forum, not for an in-depth analysis of your social life online and off. Seems like you just took it as another opportunity to talk about yourself.

Seems like it to who?
You?

*Snorts and laughs*

Like I said, in YOUR opinion.

I answered the offered up question MY way. Not yours. That just annoys you doesn't it?

 

[grant_s]

In my opinion and experience here, YES most definitely.

I believe that since the new person is not understood, in their intention and style or lack of it, if he/ she says something that is misinterpreted he/ she will be pounced upon to belittle or even make them feel unwelcome.

As for members who have been here for a while, there is still a difference of opinion, and and those who share the same opinion will form their own group, in which they feel comfortable, and you get the sense that there is a need to belong and feel you have "made" it when you finally are welcome in the group.

Does it have to be bad, No, not really, but it can easily be spiteful.

As I said, just my opinion, I will not single out who and what I experienced

 

[Mephistophelily]

Hey you two.
Remember the other request Alana made.
No squabbling.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

There are definitely groups of people that stick together, but I wouldn't really call them "Cliques". To me~ you gravitate toward those you have the most in common with. If they make your time here happy or more fruitful then they become O/L friends. Maybe, eventually they become R/L friends too.

For the most part, the people that I find myself a little in awe of~due to their utter kickassedness~aren't rude or hateful. They are very intelligent, good folk. They are comfy with each other and it shows. Time and time again, I have been invited in, shown around and talked with.

*shrugs*

I know the word clique has all kinds of bad juju attached to it~but I can't see where that applies to groups of friends here. Maybe I just wear rose colored glasses and refuse to see it...

I will say though, that being a newbie here...is frightening. I am amazed I stuck it out as long as I have. Honestly, we write smut...but when I first came over here (from the GB and BDSM forums) it seemed like a very closed, very tight knit family...and I had no idea on how to involve myself. SO I can see how a newer person might see this place as filled with Cliques...but if one is here long enough, it stops feeling that way.

 

[Hikari]

So will I fit in? *Meh,* . . . unlikely

Join the club...

 

[SoulWeaver]

Join the club...

Thank you.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Are their "cliques"? OH most definitely, and yes, in that we gravitate towards those who meld best with our own likes and dislikes, and wants, desires, so on and so forth. I stand guilty of being part of one, then another, and finally I'd like to say.. maybe not so much anymore. I am sure others will disagree. Having been friends with both Rayne and Minx and those who were here for that mess can attest that the lounges are far different than they were a year ago, and I am sure that they will still be different in a year from now.

For a newbie, stick it out. Find the groove of the lounge, for fucks sake, play, make messes and open old threads. I promise that none of us here will get mad or upset. Say hi. Honestly, the best way to fit in is to say something, do something, get out there. Geez, the first time I ever played in the lounges, I was really nervous (for the record it was Warr, and someone else in Kinky's and yes I remember it! ) Look, go crazy and see what happens. The lounge is what YOU make of it.

As for those of us who've been around for a while, yes, we have a preference around who we talk to, and those we interact with the most. That's cliquish, and perhaps we should all work to change that?

 

[SoulWeaver]

Are their "cliques"? OH most definitely, and yes, in that we gravitate towards those who meld best with our own likes and dislikes, and wants, desires, so on and so forth. I stand guilty of being part of one, then another, and finally I'd like to say.. maybe not so much anymore. I am sure others will disagree. Having been friends with both Rayne and Minx and those who were here for that mess can attest that the lounges are far different than they were a year ago, and I am sure that they will still be different in a year from now.

For a newbie, stick it out. Find the groove of the lounge, for fucks sake, play, make messes and open old threads. I promise that none of us here will get mad or upset. Say hi. Honestly, the best way to fit in is to say something, do something, get out there. Geez, the first time I ever played in the lounges, I was really nervous (for the record it was Warr, and someone else in Kinky's and yes I remember it! ) Look, go crazy and see what happens. The lounge is what YOU make of it.

As for those of us who've been around for a while, yes, we have a preference around who we talk to, and those we interact with the most. That's cliquish, and perhaps we should all work to change that?

Cliques just are, as most point out, like minded groups. So I don't think there should be apologies, lol, or guilt.

Time is a big factor too. As people drift in and out, surely the most stable gravitate to the groups and others they feel comfortable in and can depend upon.

"The lounge is what YOU make it" - very good advice.

 

[Nina327]

What's a clique?

 

[Cosmic Knight]

deleted

 

[Britwitch]

I think there are, and always will be, people that are 'drawn' together, who are on the same wavelength as one another, and thus end up posting together but I think the majority of people here are welcoming and try to include new visitors.
There are those that write together and 'play' together and are content to do just that and don't feel the need to include others in what they do, that's their choice and I don't see it as being mean or cruel...like I said, it's their choice...

Like Alana, I don't like the word clique, it does have far too many negative connotations for me personally and I would hesitate to apply to people here.

I don't think I'd class myself as being part of one 'group' or another, I like to think I get on with most people here (although the law of averages says there will be someone out there who finds me and my posts irritating beyond explanation!).

I post in, what I like to think are, a wide variety of threads with a wide variety of people and as yet I haven't encountered negativity on a personal level from anyone so while there are definite 'groups' who post/play together, I've never felt like an outsider when I've tried to join in.