Do you believe in ''Cliques'' here in the Lounge or Srp forum?

[cati]

Bullies are often troubled individuals who have been bullied themselves (usually by parents or siblings) and to say they aren't cruel is an understatement. Other than that Light Ice you've got a pretty good handle on things.

Being part of a "clique" often creates "a certain gang mentality" in it's members (imho) For example one person in the group is criticized by an outsider, the rest of the flock will usually jump in to defend their buddy. Not sayin' this is what's going on here, but I've seen it happen in other forums.

 

[Light Ice]

Perhaps this is because you've never been bullied... Your attitude is hardly responsible.

Why is that? Because I find the fault for bullying lies less in the bully and more in the society that rewards the bully? That's an interesting thing to take offense to.

Is there a personal accountability? Certainly. I disagree with the position that bullies find bullying so satisfying on a personal level that the incentives to do so from a societal standpoint are irrelevant.

Less beneficial. Ha! Yet contradict yourself by falsely implying adults find pleasure in the benefits of having more money than others and being at the top of the social ladder? Pfft. Where the hell do you live, Assholeville? Fearsome creatures to behold I'm sure LOL

It isn't false. By a majority people would prefer to be wealthy and well-liked as opposed to not. Competition and asset hoarding is a natural part of any human society. We've yet to evolve past that. You can't name a single system of government where that isn't the case. You can't name a single principle of business that goes against that current.

It's not all about money and what people think of you. Life is what you make it, not how much you make and how many friends you have. It's hard to forgive the follies and vices of others. I believe that once your good opinion is lost it is lost forever. Quality not quantity. Respect is earned, not bought.

I never attempted to suggest life was all about money or popularity. I'm not sure where you got that idea. What I said, and all that I said, was that we live in a society that doesn't actively discourage bullies in action as well as it attempts to in words.

 

[Alana_]

Oh Folks please don't let this turn nasty!

Let me clarify a little please just so as friends don't get turned on over something I think is turning pear shaped.

Firstly, I won't mention names, but this is in reference to one or two comments that I think were directed towards me.
I'm way too old to be dragging my arse into pissing competitions as to who said what and when. I got a message that upset me,yes., with both a compliment and what I see as an insult included, and it stuck in my craw so to speak. I messaged that person back to clarify what was meant in their comment, and I'm still waiting for a reply, despite them being on daily, and that fact only fuels my certainty that it was a bitch slap to me. They haven't posted here either, and I think that's telling in itself.

I did not start this thread however as some self seeking thread to stir crap or to make myself feel good. That is not my style. I could have just kept messaging said person until I got my answer, or until I got fed up trying.., but frankly my interest in the meaning behind the message wained, but the use of the term intrigued me more and more. So ...I did start the thread because the 'clique' reference in the message bugged the hell out of me, and I wanted to talk about cliques, their place here, other peoples take on them, and expressed my own opinion that the word clique is to my mind offensive, as I'm entitled to.
I feel warm being seen as liked, hell who doesn't like being liked?..I'm flattered so many would think so, and I appreciate their views and hope I can live up to them. But I'm in no clique, nor 'in crowd's. I don't want nor need to be..I won't apologize for that. I'm happy in my own little bubble, being a friend to my friends.

The choice of the word Clique, THAT was the topic, not my message. I brought nothing to the public forum that I shouldn't have, and any reference I made to the message was merely to clarify the various points I was making as to why the use of the word 'clique' is an insulting term to me. We are all after all posting our individual views.

Peoples views differ....it's somewhat now developed into a bit of a discussion on bullies. I'm not going to say that's off topic, because I happen to think cliques and bullies go hand in hand.

I suppose the fact that sparks are flying is good..It means then that the subject isn't as irrelevant as I initially thought, and my bringing it to the open forum has been validated by the replies it's getting.. Just please don't argue, and don't point fingers. Just be respectful.
I'm frankly pleased that the thread has such a diverse array of responses..I don't agree with them all, but then some aren't agreeing with me..That's healthy.




But I still hate that 'clique' word. And I don't think I'll ever forgive it being used in my direction.

 

[sallythescorpian]

I've never believed that bullies are weak or weak-minded people. I've never felt they're particularly cruel, either. People, regardless of gender, desire to live at the top rather than the bottom of any order; fiscal or social. We live in a society that tends to glorify competition between individuals in both avenues and values the class disparity found there-in. The result is that children behave exactly as they are intended to behave; picking at one another in an effort to climb their respective ladders.

LI, I dont disagree that what you are depicting is human nature at its worst. Its a very "Lord of the Flies" approach to life. Surely that which is supposed to make us civilized is our moving to a higher plain, and rising above the Darwinian survival of the fittest!

It has been attributed to many a speaker, but Gandi said something along the lines of The measurement of any society is how the weakest members are treated." (I'm quoting from memory, so its not word perfect, but the jist is right!

Surely while we still strive to better our lot, it is incumbent upon us to ensure that we do not roll over the weaker or more vulnerable individuals like a panzer tank!!

Literotica is a little more retarded an example than the average adult community. Again, you've people here who maintain that it is possible to love and support someone they've never met and never will meet. You have people here who maintain that friends made on this website are as valuable and tangible as those made beside them at work or in other personal avenues.

I agree that Lit is not representative of society as a whole. And certainly some people declare themselves in love, three posts after meeting someone etc, and I don't disagree with anything you are saying in that regard. However, different people form connections with others in different ways. I, for example have a handful of very close friends, the same ones I've had since childhood. Other people I know have literally dozens of what they consider to be close friends, and what I would consider to be acquaintances. Neither one has more merit over the other, they are simply different. In the same way, people who profess to have the love of their life on line...... good luck to them. If it makes them happy, who am I, or anyone else to judge.

All that said, returning to the topic at hand, I know that Alana would never exclude anyone! As I said above, she is one of the most genuine, and warm hearted people here, and anyone having a cut at her is way out of line.

 

[girlsmiley]

If you're going to fondle the words the maybe you should wash your hands first LOL

And perhaps you could find a thread that's interested in business and competition...

Seriously guy, I know I can sit up the pub and drink beer all day with some very wealthy people. Not just rich. And trust me, they wouldn't be sitting there if they had your attitude. And we're not a clique, were just people who are thirsty and don't like wankers LOL

The same applies to literotica.

Nobody wants to talk about work mate. I don't have to work til this afternoon LOL

 

[cati]

bubble dwellers are good, prefers being a "fringe dweller" *s

 

[Light Ice]

LI, I dont disagree that what you are depicting is human nature at its worst. Its a very "Lord of the Flies" approach to life. Surely that which is supposed to make us civilized is our moving to a higher plain, and rising above the Darwinian survival of the fittest!

I never stated that I supported or actually condoned the way society trains individuals to eat one another in order to get ahead. I simply pointed out that we've yet to evolve past that.

Surely while we still strive to better our lot, it is incumbent upon us to ensure that we do not roll over the weaker or more vulnerable individuals like a panzer tank!!

Democracy is slow. If change is going to happen quickly it will be under the treads of a tank. Otherwise, left to votes, a change in society will take decades.

 

[girlsmiley]

Oh Folks please don't let this turn nasty!

Let me clarify a little please just so as friends don't get turned on over something I think is turning pear shaped.

Firstly, I won't mention names, but this is in reference to one or two comments that I think were directed towards me.
I'm way too old to be dragging my arse into pissing competitions as to who said what and when. I got a message that upset me,yes., with both a compliment and what I see as an insult included, and it stuck in my craw so to speak. I messaged that person back to clarify what was meant in their comment, and I'm still waiting for a reply, despite them being on daily, and that fact only fuels my certainty that it was a bitch slap to me. They haven't posted here either, and I think that's telling in itself.

I did not start this thread however as some self seeking thread to stir crap or to make myself feel good. That is not my style. I could have just kept messaging said person until I got my answer, or until I got fed up trying.., but frankly my interest in the meaning behind the message wained, but the use of the term intrigued me more and more. So ...I did start the thread because the 'clique' reference in the message bugged the hell out of me, and I wanted to talk about cliques, their place here, other peoples take on them, and expressed my own opinion that the word clique is to my mind offensive, as I'm entitled to.
I feel warm being seen as liked, hell who doesn't like being liked?..I'm flattered so many would think so, and I appreciate their views and hope I can live up to them. But I'm in no clique, nor 'in crowd's. I don't want nor need to be..I won't apologize for that. I'm happy in my own little bubble, being a friend to my friends.

The choice of the word Clique, THAT was the topic, not my message. I brought nothing to the public forum that I shouldn't have, and any reference I made to the message was merely to clarify the various points I was making as to why the use of the word 'clique' is an insulting term to me. We are all after all posting our individual views.

Peoples views differ....it's somewhat now developed into a bit of a discussion on bullies. I'm not going to say that's off topic, because I happen to think cliques and bullies go hand in hand.

I suppose the fact that sparks are flying is good..It means then that the subject isn't as irrelevant as I initially thought, and my bringing it to the open forum has been validated by the replies it's getting.. Just please don't argue, and don't point fingers. Just be respectful.
I'm frankly pleased that the thread has such a diverse array of responses..I don't agree with them all, but then some aren't agreeing with me..That's healthy.




But I still hate that 'clique' word. And I don't think I'll ever forgive it being used in my direction.

I really do hope this person has the decency to afford you some clarity and apologise for the offenses against you. If it's any consolation you do not seem like someone who would be part of a clique.

 

[Light Ice]

If you're going to fondle the words the maybe you should wash your hands first LOL

And perhaps you could find a thread that's interested in business and competition...

Seriously guy, I know I can sit up the pub and drink beer all day with some very wealthy people. Not just rich. And trust me, they wouldn't be sitting there if they had your attitude. And we're not a clique, were just people who are thirsty and don't like wankers LOL

The same applies to literotica.

Nobody wants to talk about work mate. I don't have to work til this afternoon LOL

If you want to criticize my positions, do so. I'd appreciate that in your efforts, however, you took the time to actually read and comprehend them.

 

[girlsmiley]

If you want to criticize my positions, do so. I'd appreciate that in your efforts, however, you took the time to actually read and comprehend them.

I have to inform you that Alana has captured my special attention with her story. Unfortunately it is incumbent upon me to hint that your position neither compells nor reveals however self-serving and sanitised. May I be so bold to suggest a nice hot cup of tea

 

[Light Ice]

I have to inform you that Alana has captured my special attention with her story. Unfortunately it is incumbent upon me to hint that your position neither compells nor reveals however self-serving and sanitised. May I be so bold to suggest a nice hot cup of tea

Fucking retarded.

 

[girlsmiley]

Fucking retarded.

Tee Hee

 

[girlsmiley]

Fucking retarded.

Can you please tell me if you meant to send this to me or someone else?

xxxx

I can assure you friend, I have no idea who these people are, and furthermore wish to affirm my PM position as not interested or compelled. (You don't have the bits I'm interested in and I like girls)

 

[Alana_]

Ok...I think that's uncalled for girlsmiley. Refer to a pm if you please, but don't go posting a private message on the open forum please. Please edit or I'm reporting your post, because if there's not a rule against it, there sure is a moral one.

 

[girlsmiley]

Ok...I think that's uncalled for girlsmiley. Refer to a pm if you please, but don't go posting a private message on the open forum please. Please edit or I'm reporting your post, because if there's not a rule against it, there sure is a moral one.

Oh I didn't realise Light Ice had something to hide.

Capn's orders. Right away Cap!

 

[Britwitch]

Ok...I think that's uncalled for girlsmiley. Refer to a pm if you please, but don't go posting a private message on the open forum please. Please edit or I'm reporting your post, because if there's not a rule against it, there sure is a moral one.

It is highly uncalled for and there is a rule.
And I must confess I have already reported it because that kind of behaviour is completely unnecessary in my opinion.

 

[Alana_]

It is highly uncalled for and there is a rule.
And I must confess I have already reported it because that kind of behaviour is completely unnecessary in my opinion.

Thank you Brit. Clever sexy bunny.

 

[yeishia]

There is a rule against it. You are not allowed to post pms or personal information about a member: as in my real name.

This is not my alt as I am sure a moderator can confirm. I have already reported both him and her.

It is unfair to give out my name to strangers until you are sure of your facts.

Had I a problem with you LI, which I do not, I would directly address you on IM.

 

[sallythescorpian]

Jeez boys and girls. This is really getting over heated, and off base.

The topic is do you believe in cliques here in the lounge, or srp forum?

Just tossing this out there.

It's a term I find oddly offensive, because in my experience I find cliques imply bullies, and that's come from my own personal experience on my first ever site, and in latter years on Lit itself in the general board. That's my take, and only my take.

I know there are 'groups' here in the lounge/srp areas that tend to hang out together, but to call them cliques I think is a bit unfair, as most here are welcoming and will interact with who ever comes by. Cliques in my mind don't do that..they isolate themselves and leave others intentionally out .
I was always weary of Lit. I'll admit that. I don't like that there is an undercurrent of nutty hostility including the Lounge sometimes, and in some areas of the site shocking bigotry ( not seen/noticed here in the Lounge by me). But once I found my niche here in srp, avoided the general board, and got comfortable, after one false start as Alana some years ao, then under a different name a year later, before I returned over a year ago if not more as Alana, I've found this time I seem to have cracked it enough for me to continue coming most days and am very happy.
I dont see myself as being part of a 'group' or definitely not a clique, despite something recently said to me. I guess one persons interpretation differs from anothers.
But...do you think there are cliques, or just groups that tend to gather together....or what is your own personal take on the habits of the Forum in the srp area and lounge. Do you find it hard to feel you're welcome/wanted here?

Please Please don't let this become a cause for arguments, and finger pointing. I'm just asking or trying to ask what your feelings on the issue are. Keep it friendly please, and on topic.

Lets keep a good, open debate, without getting nasty!

 

[Alana_]

Oh I didn't realise Light Ice had something to hide.

Capn's orders. Right away Cap!

It's not a matter HIS having anything to hide..it's a matter of YOU over stepping boundaries.

 

[sallythescorpian]

Oh I didn't realise Light Ice had something to hide.

Capn's orders. Right away Cap!

You cannot post PM in the public forum, without the sender's consent.

Additionally, I have to say that LI, in my opinion wouldn't have anything to hide. I think he has proven consistently if he has something to say, he has no compunction about saying that publicly.

 

[girlsmiley]

There is a rule against it. You are not allowed to post pms or personal information about a member: as in my real name.

This is not my alt as I am sure a moderator can confirm. I have already reported both him and her.

It is unfair to give out my name to strangers until you are sure of your facts.

Had I a problem with you LT which I do not, I would directly address you on IM.

So he thinks I'm you? This thread is a trip!

I didn't mean to offend anyone, actually I don't think his accusations were called for, and I certainly didn't know I wasn't allowed to repost something that was sent to me.

My apologies for the disturbance everyone. Have a good day!

 

[Mephistophelily]

My last post to this thread then:
"I am so sorry it was hijacked into this, Alana."

 

[Cosmic Knight]

Do I believe in cliques?
If this means do I like them, then the answer is no, I do not.

Is there a clique here in the lounge?
Undoubtedly yes, and most of the members have already posted on this thread.

This is not meant to be inflammatory, just my opinion.

 

[PhunkyPhuck]

You just managed to capture why I hate that word with a vengeance in a couple of words. The reference to 'women and weak men' pretty much summons up my absolute dislike of it thoroughly.

If I'm honest, it's probably why I hate seeing the term used to describe adults on an adult site. It, to my mind, describes younger people ie late bitchy teens, but not adults. Then I have to remember many here are much younger than I am.
But yeah..seeing that in print offends me, as I would prefer to be seen as a woman strong enough not to need a 'clique'. The word for me signals weakness in human nature...Bullies are weak. I can't think of bullies without thinking of 'cliques'.
I was bullied when I was younger, and bully+clique=hurt.
As an adult here, it just troubles me that there would be people seeing the groups here as cliques...and having the same interpretation of the word as I do. I am a woman, who comes for fun...not to be seen as part of something under the canopy of a clique.

This is my personal feeling..I can't help it, but it's troubling that good people, nice people, fall beneath the description of 'Clique' when so many have a derogative view on cliques.

God I hope this makes sense. Sorry if not.

You certainly are an attention-to-detail woman.

wow ! I couldn't have said it better myself

Thank you, thank you.