Does it really exist?

[PPenny]

Let me again ask the question a little differently: can you achieve the level of trust between two where one of them can hand over all control to the other unconditionally? The one with all the power doesn't have to do anything, he does whatever he wants to. Can you trust anyone enough to let him have that kind of power? Unconditional power. No safewords, no warranties, no nothin' 'cept for the hope that the dude's not gonna hurt you or put you in any real danger. Can you know someone that well, can you trust someone that much?

I think plenty have people have said "Yes! We've achieved this level of trust over a long period of time, and we've disbanded with safewords etc." So if that's what you want, I would say it's possible to find a woman out there for you. But these questions sound a whole hell of a lot different than:

if I had a sub and treated her totally unfair, like dirt, would she still love me?

Yes, you can find a way to compromise in your relationship where you can wind up doing pretty much whatever you want. But, No, you can't just do ANYTHING. You need to provide food, water, sex, emotional connectivity, social contact, a roof over her head, a cool washcloth on her head when she's sick... all kinds of things.

People enter into relationships looking for someone who meets their needs. The way you keep forming your questions makes it sound like you want to get to a point where you no longer have to worry about her needs at all, you can just ignore them. Women ALWAYS have an out. They can ALWAYS leave you. Even if you're a great guy at the beginning, even if you say "Baby, I promise I'll show you as much love as you need." If you no longer are meeting her needs. If you promised that you'd have kids, and later you say "nahh.. I've decided that since you've handed over your complete trust that I'm not gonna give you kids." If you say "nahhh... I don't think that we need a house anymore, lets go live under a subway." If you say "You know what, I don't think you need to get off EVER again, and I mean it." If you don't meet her needs she can walk.

If you have every intention of meeting her base needs and do it most of the time, don't cross the line into abuse, then yeah you might be able to keep her. But there's NO gaurantees. People get married, people enter into D/s relationships, with the best of intentions. No one goes in planning for a divorce. Every newlywed will say "Yes, I trust my spouse to meet my needs, we're in love, and I think we're going to be together forever." But, if you break their trust, love, or support then you can't just expect them to stay. And shit happens. People meet other people, people fall out of love, people change, people's needs change. And, again, people don't enter into relationships thinking that's going to happen. But sometimes it does.

You keep asking about if a woman can "trust someone that much." Well, you need to put some trust into her too. Can you trust someone to be submissive to you and give you all the things YOU need?

Relationships are two way streets no matter where the power lies.