Dogging

[Clay Tanner]

dogging in Florida

Our most distinguished and highly literate friends on the righthand side of the great pond have taken dogging to new levels. Not wanting to throw a wet blanket on this pastoral activity, but suggesting, an alternative locale. Consider now, given the those shriveling chill winds of autumn are soon approaching, that more climatically-friendly dogging locales be evaluated.

To dedicated doggers, as well as the new pups in the field, to those now comptemplating dogging upon the public parklands of the United Kingdom (or upon those slug invested palace lawns of his highness, the good King Og) that you autunm doggers think tropically.

It has been my observation that upon a bedsheet spread atop the still warm sugar sands of the beaches of Florida, with the slow rythmic sound of waves lapping against nearby shore, that some great tropical dogging can be enjoyed.

Clay - friend of beach doggers everywhere

 

[Icingsugar]

Rolling on to a large slug usually brings a premature end to dogging.

Then you're just not into the dogging enough. In the right mood, a slug or five, or a can of worms for that matter, should not make any diffference.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "Going to the dogs." And it's one some dogs I know would find objectionable. If that gets started over here, some folks might find themselves slapped with a civil lawsuit by the ACLU and the AKC for contempt of canines-unless the folks were doing it, "doggie style."

Rumple F.

 

[TheEarl]

I used to work as a lifeguard at an outdoor pool. I'll always remember the morning I came in to open the pool and found a pair of handcuffs on the cover, obviously left there by an intrepid couple.

It wasn't the dogging that bothered me, it was more the question of who goes and has sex in a closed swimming pool and leaves their handcuffs behind?

Answers on a postcard please.

The Earl

 

[LorriLove]

woweeeeeee

Then you're just not into the dogging enough. In the right mood, a slug or five, or a can of worms for that matter, should not make any diffference.

slugs, worms, dogs, cats, toads, hedgehogs, ants, there has to be a story idea in here somewhere , woweee sound so bloody kinky, I'm getting a damp patch and it aint in the grass, (I shave)

 

[Guest]

Re: woweeeeeee

slugs, worms, dogs, cats, toads, hedgehogs, ants,

Lorri, love, YOU must write it. Quick, while you're damp.

Perdita

 

[LorriLove]

giggle

hiya perdy, maybe i will, giggle best wait til i'm a bit dry though, fingers slip about on the keys otherwise

lorri xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[sex200561]

Re: giggle

hiya perdy, maybe i will, giggle best wait til i'm a bit dry though, fingers slip about on the keys otherwise

lorri xxxxxxxxxxx

Dry,

Now that will be a 1st

 

[LorriLove]

Re: Re: giggle

Dry,

Now that will be a 1st

cheeky git sex, hiya honey, fancy seeing you here

 

[sex200561]

Re: Re: Re: giggle

cheeky git sex, hiya honey, fancy seeing you here

Hi LL

im stalking you you know, or is that i have a stalk for U. HMMMMM

 

[Guest]

 

[oggbashan]

Due to the weather, it's a seasonal thing in the US. Probably in UK too.

No. We are made of sterner stuff. If it is actually snowing or raining hard an outdoor survival bag is sufficient shelter. They can be folded into a handbag or stuffed in a capacious pocket.

They are rarely required. A bus shelter, a shop doorway, a large tree is usually enough. If she complains of being cold, the remedy is to move faster. Work=Heat.

My bookshop used to be a bakers. At the back there is an alleyway leading to the back gardens of the neighbouring houses and through to the next street. It has corners in it so it is not possible to see down it after dark.

The baker's ovens were against the wall of the alley and the wall was heated by conduction. I have been told by elderly ladies paying sentimental visits to the town they knew in their youth that the heated wall was much sought after for assignations. Its heyday was during the First and Second World Wars when other places for dogging were likely to be mined or strewn with barbed wire. One lady was proud to admit that both her sons were conceived against that wall. The presence of other couples also practising vertical dogging didn't deter the practitioners. Even though the wall is no longer heated the presence of discarded condoms attests to its continuing use.

When younger I used to carry camping equipment in my car. I could erect a tent nearly as quickly as produce an erection. Perhaps I exaggerate. I was young. An erection took very little time or stimulus then. Unfortunately at my advanced age I can probably erect five tents before achieving an erection but the latter is much more enjoyable.

Car manufacturers are sympathetic to dogging. The Austin Maxi was the first British car that could be arranged as a double bed. The carpeted load bed of a Volvo estate is highly suitable. I used to have a Minivan with a custom shaped six inch thick foam mattress. I bought it like that. I didn't find it useful because I was and am too large to dog in a Minivan (The van version of the original Mini). I replaced it with a large Wolseley saloon which was much more practical and stylish. The polished wood and leather had more impact than painted metal.

Beach-dogging is over-rated. In the UK many beaches are either of very fine sand which gets everywhere and makes dogging literally impossible, or large pebbles. The pebbles can be endured. Under Brighton Pier was and is still popular. On pebbled beaches a gentleman should allow his lady to be on top. (Og's rule of etiquette #106)

Og

 

[Icingsugar]

Re: giggle

hiya perdy, maybe i will, giggle best wait til i'm a bit dry though, fingers slip about on the keys otherwise.

Don't worry, we'll all know what those typos mean.

Bring on the slugs!

 

[Guest]

 

[Quasimodem]

. . . "Hurray, hurray . . . the first of May. Outdoor fucking (starts) ... today."

I've always heard that, that was a part of the Traditional May 1st Celebration observed by the Inuit of Baffin Island.

 

[Guest]

On pebbled beaches a gentleman should allow his lady to be on top. (Og's rule of etiquette #106)

Ogg, I wish you would write up all your etiquette rules. And the post from which I quoted, plus the others on dogging could make a very fine and interesting essay (or weighty tome). I enjoy your more elaborate posts very much.

Perdita

 

[Clay Tanner]

Og's Rules of Dogging

Og,

I find myself in complete agreement with Perdita's observations.

Truly, old man, your last posting is extremely thought-provoking, cogent, and damn interesting.

Your introduction of that warm bakery wall provoked this musing: Might this be the reason our soldiers in WWI became known as "doughboys"? And maybe why easy women became known as tarts?

Encouragingly,
Clay - Now fondly remembering, thanks to the brilliant Og's British car observations, the amazing gymnastic skills acquired by necessity in order to do the nasty deed as a lad, there in the passenger seat of his white MGA coupe. "Oh, what a limber man he was".

 

[Guest]

Hey, Tanner, thanks for the smile as I prepare to retire (ah weekends seem much too brief lately). I have a fondness for walls and liked your doughboy/tart mention. Also, those tiny dancing nanas always make me grin.

'night, Perdita

'night, Raff and Sugar

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Clay - Now fondly remembering, thanks to the brilliant Og's British car observations, the amazing gymnastic skills acquired by necessity in order to do the nasty deed as a lad, there in the passenger seat of his white MGA coupe. "Oh, what a limber man he was"

--

You're a better, or at the very least, more limber, man than I ever was, Gunga Din. And all these years I thought a few successful performances in the front bucket seats of a '65 Mustang were an accomplishment.

Rumple "looking for linament" Foreskin

 

[LorriLove]

giggle

Clay - Now fondly remembering, thanks to the brilliant Og's British car observations, the amazing gymnastic skills acquired by necessity in order to do the nasty deed as a lad, there in the passenger seat of his white MGA coupe. "Oh, what a limber man he was"

--

You're a better, or at the very least, more limber, man than I ever was, Gunga Din. And all these years I thought a few successful performances in the front bucket seats of a '65 Mustang were an accomplishment.

Rumple "looking for linament" Foreskin

what's wrong with bent over the bonnet, sorry hood as you call it i think, as long as the engine's still warm in winter of course

 

[Guest]

Re: giggle

what's wrong with bent over the bonnet, sorry hood as you call it i think, as long as the engine's still warm in winter of course

And men call us impractical. Sheesh!

I think Lorri and Ogg should collaborate on the manual.

still a student, Perdita

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Re: giggle

what's wrong with bent over the bonnet, sorry hood as you call it i think, as long as the engine's still warm in winter of course

Absolutely nothing wrong with a Mustang's hood. In fact, being relatively long and wide, it was a perfect spot--unless the 'skeeters were bad or the weather was less than clement or the lady had a thing against semi-public performances.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[MathGirl]

My grandpa was in WWII; a flier based in England. He says a standup job in the park with a London prostitute was called a "Tupenny Knee Trembler."

I though that was a colorful term.
MG

 

[oggbashan]

My grandpa was in WWII; a flier based in England. He says a standup job in the park with a London prostitute was called a "Tupenny Knee Trembler."

I though that was a colorful term.
MG

Your grandpa must have been exceptionally handsome to get a Knee Trembler for Tuppence. The normal price for such a transaction was half a crown (thirty old pence or twelve and a half new pence). Perhaps the price was two pence and a pair of nylons which were priceless and much sought after items in WWII.

Clay's mention of his MGA reminds me of a news item from the early 1990s. A gentleman and lady were in a small closed sports car dogging in a Royal Park. The gentleman slipped a disk in his spine and was unable to move. They managed to summon assistance by sounding the car's horn.

The emergency services were called but they could not extract the gentleman from the car or from the lady. The fireman cut the back of the car off to enable him to be extracted and placed on a back board. The ambulance men told the lady "He'll be OK now."

Her reply: "Fuck him! What am I going to tell my husband? It was his car."

We never knew the husband's reaction.

Og

 

[MathGirl]

Your grandpa must have been exceptionally handsome to get a Knee Trembler for Tuppence. The normal price for such a transaction was half a crown

Dear Og,
I think it was so called because it sounded better than "half crown knee trembler."
MG
Ps. Yes, Grandpa was quite handsome. All his four wives thought so.