Lifestyle66
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 3, 2021
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All true.Well yeah, but we still learn from the mistakes we see in our past and do not repeat them if we feel we should not. I grew up raised by a strict family that spanked me if I broke rules. My sister did too. We both couldn’t stand it. We considered ourselves good people and you didn’t need to prove that by physically harming us when we weren’t. She’s raising three kids right now without such physical punishment as part of the equation. I like to think it’s capable of working out right for both kids and parents. Last I saw they’re doing fine but the kids aren’t old enough for grade school yet. I’m not going to predict a bad future by saying some crap like she’s spoiling her kids. She’s not far as I know. Neither is their sex positive uncle who puts his fandom of porn on hold whenever he’s around the kids. They have two of those by the way- the other one is gay. And we’re both capable of being a great dad ourselves if we step into those circumstances. I just hope we measure up should we get the chance.
We remember our past and learn lessons, which we try to apply to our future decisions.
My grandfather was VERY strict raising his own kids. My father was a quiet man and never beat us for his pleasure or even out of anger. But when his stress reached a breaking point, ...
I've learned by watching others (and myself) that when stress increases, our baser instincts take over. We can all be enlightened, civilized parents, spouses, friends, and neighbors. But when stress and frustration reach a breaking point, you can hear it in the voices of those peace-loving, kind, and gentle people, as they gather in groups and pick up rocks.
My ex-wife was a liberal feminist, insisting that we NEVER spank our kids, and that we would NEVER have guns in the house, and they couldn't even have toy guns. And they would only eat healthy meals, and not be given candy or other junk food.
All of that eventually went out the window, first when I caught her spanking our three-year-old for not picking up his toys. Then I found our young boys using sticks as guns when playing with their neighbor friends. And another time I saw my oldest son sitting with a neighbor boy who had some candy. The other boy accidently dropped a piece of candy on the sidewalk and I heard him tell my son "You can have that."
I learned to recognize hypocrisy, and I changed our child-rearing ways. They soon had water guns, nerf guns, and bicycle rides to the local store to buy treats of their choice. And they received a measured amount of discipline to ensure they learned there are other authorities and consequences for bad behavior.
My ex-wife, for all of her learned passivist good intentions deluded herself insisting she was a better parent with her progressive ideals. But she just couldn't do it 24/7, and the kids saw it. My daughter says, "You two should have divorced ten years earlier, we would have had a better childhood." (BTW: All of our kids turned out without going to jail, none are on drugs, all employed, and each owns their own home.)
This is where I picked up that observation by my main character saying about their dysfunctional parents: "Our parents grew up with their own demons and were the best parents they could be."