Dom/Domme or sub/sub crushes, anyone?

[Jay Davis]

Now that's interesting! Because my thoughts would be that I would never want the Mistress to top the Master. I'm not even sure why I'm so hung up on that, and perhaps I shouldn't be, but I guess in the end I really want a fantastically dominant man to serve and that image would be shattered if he was being topped by another female. Even if the female was my Mistress. I could handle if they were both Doms and neither topped the other, but I think if they were in a relationship then one would be exerting at least a little dominance over the other.

At the risk of hijacking my own thread, I can tell you why it's important to me. I have too many female friends who have been hurt, both physically and emotionally, by asshole vanilla men. A big chunk of my need to serve women is a desire to make this never happen again. Seeing a man treating a woman I care about cruelly really pushes my buttons, and even if I understand intellectually that it's in the context of a consensual D/s relationship, I still have that visceral reaction.

As a result, I am very leery and distrustful when I meet men who style themselves as Doms. It takes me time to learn to trust that they are the real deal, and not just users or abusers hiding behind a kinky label. This isn't fair, but it's the way I'm wired.

I've never thought about being used to train a Dom and experiencing the slow transfer of power as he grows into his dominance. *shiver*

Is that a good shiver, or a bad one?

In all seriousness, though, my formative RL D/s relationship was with a woman who had started out as a sub/slave, and matured into her Dominant self. Her experience on the both ends of the flogger was very helpful to me as I learned about myself and my submission. According to her and her friends, she was a very different kind of sub than me--a SAM and a pain-slut, by her own admission, whereas I tend to be more stoic and service-oriented--but I felt safer knowing that she never asked of me anything she hadn't experienced herself first.

From a fantasy standpoint, I've always been fascinated by highly ritualized forms of slavery and service, including and especially extended and formal training methods. This may be because I grew up Episcopalian, the church that offers all pomp, pageantry and ritual of Catholicism, but less than half the guilt! The Marketplace books offer a variety of training programs for slaves, within the context of a very formalized secret society of slave-owners.

Please let me know if/when you write that novella. (I know it will be about a Domme not a Dom, but I would still find that amazingly erotic. What a wonderful idea for a story! I've yet to read one like that.)

Ok, you'll be the very first to get a proof copy. Be looking for it in your email about...2009. Or maybe 2011. Or maybe a just little after that...

 

[FurryFury]

I crush on people here all the time. There are so many smart, open and good hearted people here.

Since I'm still not clear on which side of the coin I actually fall on, I think I am disqualified from this thread.

Right?

Fury

 

[Jay Davis]

Since I'm still not clear on which side of the coin I actually fall on, I think I am disqualified from this thread.

Right?

Fury

Technically, yeah . . . if you're switchy, you have license to crush on everyone anyway. But we still love to hear whatever you have to say.

 

[FurryFury]

Technically, yeah . . . if you're switchy, you have license to crush on everyone anyway. But we still love to hear whatever you have to say.

I think I like you right now Jay Davis!

*grins*

Fury

 

[Jay Davis]

I think I like you right now Jay Davis!

*grins*

Fury

<blush!>

Well, back at ya, but since you could top me, that doesn't really count in this thread.

Still...

 

[FurryFury]

<blush!>

Well, back at ya, but since you could top me, that doesn't really count in this thread.

Still...

Yep I knew it. *pouts*

I do like you though and a lot of other fine ladies and gentlemen here. It just doesn't count on this here thread much.

*le sigh*

Fury

 

[canadiancutie]

Ok, I'm not sure of your people definition of a crush, so I'll just list the subby people I have thought about sexually from lit haha;

Killi (duh.)
Aeroil (totally gonna be my brother sub someday haha)
Xelebes (will eventually lose my virginity to him)
graceanne (my dream is to corrupt her and make her bi. I think it would be hot.)
astralkiss (her and her PYL would be fun....)
Marquis (he's totally a sub.)

and yeah. that's all that comes to mind

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Hmmmmm.....yeah.

Bout all I will say.

I'm such a butthead.

 

[graceanne]

Ok, I'm not sure of your people definition of a crush, so I'll just list the subby people I have thought about sexually from lit haha;

Killi (duh.)
Aeroil (totally gonna be my brother sub someday haha)
Xelebes (will eventually lose my virginity to him)
graceanne (my dream is to corrupt her and make her bi. I think it would be hot.)
astralkiss (her and her PYL would be fun....)
Marquis (he's totally a sub.)

and yeah. that's all that comes to mind

perv

But on topic, I know that Fungi's wife is a domme. I don't know how they make it work, but I'd be willing to bet it's somewhere along the lines of SweetDommes' relationship.

 

[Jay Davis]

*le sigh*

Fury

*le hug*

*le pat on le back*

 

[graceanne]

Hmmmmm.....yeah.

Bout all I will say.

I'm such a butthead.

Butt head?

Sphyx! He's talking about butts? Doesn't that qualify for the whole spanking game you, dragon, and aeroil have been playing?

 

[FurryFury]

*le hug*

*le pat on le back*

*le grin*

*le slow lick of lips*

*le raised brows*

Fury

 

[Aeroil]

Ok, I'm not sure of your people definition of a crush, so I'll just list the subby people I have thought about sexually from lit haha;

Killi (duh.)
Aeroil (totally gonna be my brother sub someday haha)
Xelebes (will eventually lose my virginity to him)
graceanne (my dream is to corrupt her and make her bi. I think it would be hot.)
astralkiss (her and her PYL would be fun....)
Marquis (he's totally a sub.)

and yeah. that's all that comes to mind

Yes, and we totally have to get Killi to be our dom.

 

[Marquis]

Thanks, Marquis. I'd wondered if this happened to Dominants too, and whether any would admit it if it did.

It does indeed happen to me, but I will never admit it.

 

[Jay Davis]

It does indeed happen to me, but I will never admit it.

Gotcha.

(By which I mean, "I get it." Not, "Busted!" Just to be clear...)

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Butt head?

Sphyx! He's talking about butts? Doesn't that qualify for the whole spanking game you, dragon, and aeroil have been playing?

HEY HEY HEY!!!! That's not cool. Tattle taleing is not condoned!!!!!!! Hehehehehehehe Allthough right now She isn't in much condition to do anything about it!

 

[Aeroil]

HEY HEY HEY!!!! That's not cool. Tattle taleing is not condoned!!!!!!! Hehehehehehehe Allthough right now She isn't in much condition to do anything about it!

Last I checked, the game didn't have any rules aside from Tealsphynx's whim......

 

[tealsphynx]

And I'm drinking and have lots of whim...though my aim might be off......
SPANKS FOR DRAGGIE, AROILE AND GRACIE!!!! *INSERT DRUNKEN LAUGHTER* oOOOH AND ONE FOR kILLI TOO!!! LOL, SORRY, LIFE IS HUMOROUS RIGH T NOW....

 

[Aeroil]

And I'm drinking and have lots of whim...though my aim might be off......
SPANKS FOR DRAGGIE, AROILE AND GRACIE!!!! *INSERT DRUNKEN LAUGHTER* oOOOH AND ONE FOR kILLI TOO!!! LOL, SORRY, LIFE IS HUMOROUS RIGH T NOW....

umm, lol?

 

[tealsphynx]

Spank for that areooile..(shit I knowthat one got fucked up...You know what i mean thoguh....) 8wlks away humming to sefl ......

 

[catalina_francisco]

perv

But on topic, I know that Fungi's wife is a domme. I don't know how they make it work, but I'd be willing to bet it's somewhere along the lines of SweetDommes' relationship.

Not exactly a Domme as she is not into the D/s thing as he is, and he is not her Dom, but is her lover/partner.....but she does play with him and his female subs at times when all feel like it.

We are experimenting with the Male Dom, female slave/Top, male sub scenarios at the moment. It promises to be a challenge and fun, and seems I will have more responsibility than I had anticipated, at least in the beginning stages, and I am surprised we are finally finding some male subs who are okay with it, some having been in the same type set up before and loved it, and quite comfortable with serving him through serving me, and also seeing me dominated by him when the scene and mood calls for it. It certainly is an interesting learning curve which we both think will benefit me as a slave in many ways long term. Once again he is showing me there is much more to him than he lets show most times.

Catalina

 

[snowy ciara]

If you ever decide to go for Male Dom-female slave/Top-female sub.. well, y'know.... Yes Jay, I do crush pretty irregardless of perv orientation. bronn Stop that, y'hear.

 

[catalina_francisco]

If you ever decide to go for Male Dom-female slave/Top-female sub.. well, y'know.... Yes Jay, I do crush pretty irregardless of perv orientation. bronn Stop that, y'hear.

LOL, that is next on the list....adding slowly beginning with the boys, au natural, CD, TV or TG or just kinky in just about any manner

Catalina

 

[snowy ciara]

Must go to Europe, Must work obscene amount of hours to go to Europe....

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm switch, so maybe y'all will stop reading at this point, but I have something to say about this topic.

I've never had a crush on another sub, while I was in a sub mode, nor on another Dom/me while I was in Domme mode. When I crush on a Dom/me or sub, it's because that person inspires in me the feelings of the other.

Example: my Daddy is my Dom, and I am His sub. He also has another girl he adores, who adores him. She is sweet and innocent, and she and I adore each other to pieces.. and she inspires in me Domme feelings... even though we are both sub to him. (She is only very mildly submissive, as far as awareness goes.. she is not in the lifestyle.. but her personality has always screamed 'sub' to me). She doesn't inspire the sadist in me, or the Top in me... but rather the loving care that a Domme has for her sub. She inspires me to protect her and cherish her and teach and guide her...

Maybe it doesn't make sense.. I don't know.