Dom vs. dominant, is there a difference?

[Auraka6669]

Thanks, I guess I didn't read through far enough on all my options. Somehow I thought it the default was "on". I've got it fixed now I think.

Rox.

You do

 

[myinnerslut]

LOL, it is often advised to avoid your own sign in terms of romance...but sometimes it can work great.

Catalina

i'll vouch for the second part of that.. i really like my same star sign lover, and Sir feels the same way. we are both capricorn, ten days (and a couple of years) apart

 

[angel_girl]

Thanks, I guess I didn't read through far enough on all my options. Somehow I thought it the default was "on". I've got it fixed now I think.

Rox.

Hey you...check your PM's.

~Angel

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I'm with you as far as believing in similar traits etc., and from what I have read. astrology was actually mentioned in biblical texts before being removed by those who thought they knew better. There was a time in my teens and 20.s when I spent a lot more time studying it that I could tell people what sign they were after observing them for awhile....the interesting thing was I had a 100% score on getting it right so there must be something to it. All signs have a light and dark side, and as a Gemini, what I have found with my own sign is there is a difference between May born and June born Gemini's. A huge book I have which I hope to get into one day actually says each sign has three distinct groups based on when the people were born within the sign. It is a fascinating subject when studied with an open mind. LOL, let's face it, science is only now finding ways to prove some things civilizations have believed and practiced for hundreds of years and which scientists previously claimed could not be true because there was no basic scientific explanation for them.

Catalina

So what's the difference between May born and June born Gemini?

 

[SpectreT]

I'm certain you are very different from the evil fucking Taurus I was once miserably married to. I have a hard time believing in all of this stuff. When I read such things I can find something to fit me or anyone else in every birth sign.

Fury

Since I analyze myself very carefully, and strive to avoid evil, I'd have to agree with the first part of your statement.

The second part, not so much. Yes, everyone posesses every personality trait to varying degrees, but the most obvious, dominant personality traits that form who that person is and a general pattern of how they act and react, are perforce fewer in number. Those traits have been observed over many thousands of years to clump in certain parts of the year. Sure, you can find exceptions; and there's lots of stubborn people in the world; Taurus doesn't have the market cornered on it. Capricorns have their fair share, for another example. But if you picked three or four personality traits you feel define you, odds are they're on your zodiac sign's "Short List", not on the ones on either side of you. But I'm not a major expert in the field; Astrology is a passing hobby of mine, in part due to people I know putting a lot of stock in it.

 

[FurryFury]

Not really. But we're both stubborn as mules.

I don't think I know anyone who isn't.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

To Cat and Spectre T,

That's interesting. I asked because I wanted to know. Thanks for answering.

Fury

 

[Shaq]

When I get more time, Shaq is going to read through this whole thread then reply.


I've been thinking about this ever since I "got into" the lifestyle.


A lot of "Doms" make me laugh to be honest. I thought a "Dom" would be someone with a truly dominant personality, instead I find a bunch of people whose ONLY expression of dominance is being unseemingly bossy.

 

[CutieMouse]

When I get more time, Shaq is going to read through this whole thread then reply.


I've been thinking about this ever since I "got into" the lifestyle.


A lot of "Doms" make me laugh to be honest. I thought a "Dom" would be someone with a truly dominant personality, instead I find a bunch of people whose ONLY expression of dominance is being unseemingly bossy.

Define a "truly dominant personality", please.

 

[catalina_francisco]

So what's the difference between May born and June born Gemini?

For most I find my friends who fall into the May sector are more conservative, at least on the surface, often deeper....the June sector seem more outspoken, more willing to follow their needs/desires, less inclined to be concerned enough about what othes think to stop them doing what they really want. June Geminis seem to get into more sexually adventurous positions of their own choice as opposed to May Geminis who won't or may get into them but often through the persuasion of another, or afterward saying it was because of someone else other than themselves. Once you show approval of what they have done, they often feel more inclined to own it and be open about how they really felt about it.

Catalina

 

[TNRkitect2b]

For most I find my friends who fall into the May sector are more conservative, at least on the surface, often deeper....the June sector seem more outspoken, more willing to follow their needs/desires, less inclined to be concerned enough about what othes think to stop them doing what they really want. June Geminis seem to get into more sexually adventurous positions of their own choice as opposed to May Geminis who won't or may get into them but often through the persuasion of another, or afterward saying it was because of someone else other than themselves. Once you show approval of what they have done, they often feel more inclined to own it and be open about how they really felt about it.

Catalina

Interesting. I guess I am a little less concerned about what other's think. Never knew that was considered a trait astrologically. Thanks for the insight.

 

[nymphee]

If you had twins who were born say, an hour apart around the cusp of two starsigns, would they display the different traights very strongly to you think?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Since I analyze myself very carefully, and strive to avoid evil, I'd have to agree with the first part of your statement.

The second part, not so much. Yes, everyone posesses every personality trait to varying degrees, but the most obvious, dominant personality traits that form who that person is and a general pattern of how they act and react, are perforce fewer in number. Those traits have been observed over many thousands of years to clump in certain parts of the year. Sure, you can find exceptions; and there's lots of stubborn people in the world; Taurus doesn't have the market cornered on it. Capricorns have their fair share, for another example. But if you picked three or four personality traits you feel define you, odds are they're on your zodiac sign's "Short List", not on the ones on either side of you. But I'm not a major expert in the field; Astrology is a passing hobby of mine, in part due to people I know putting a lot of stock in it.

Another interesting part of astrology and the particular signs is related to health. There are particular ailments or parts of the body related to particular signs which are likely to be a problem and which I have found is often so. For instance, Taurus rules the throat and can mean many problems around throat issues. They also have an attraction to food which can often become addictive and often is victim of emotional related eating patterns. Gemini rules the chest, shoulders, nervous system and lungs. They usually put off attending to their own health problems until it is much later than ideal, and suffer from nervous exhaustions and mental fatigue due to their mind racing at an incredible pace most of the time. Our health problems are often the result of our own actions as in overloading our brain and nervous system, and not attending to problems when they first begin. For the most part these issues for both signs seem to be correct for those I know including myself. The good thing is there are special things you can do for each sign to help with those weaker areas...so far I haven't gotten to them, but I am a Gemini!1

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Interesting. I guess I am a little less concerned about what other's think. Never knew that was considered a trait astrologically. Thanks for the insight.

Anytime....the more I skim this big book which breaks each sign into 3 particular groups, the more I am seeing how it works....is fascinating.

Catalina

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Anytime....the more I skim this big book which breaks each sign into 3 particular groups, the more I am seeing how it works....is fascinating.

Catalina

Any chance of getting a title of that book? You have me intrigued.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Any chance of getting a title of that book? You have me intrigued.

Will PM you that and some of the others I have found interesting.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Will PM you that and some of the others I have found interesting.

Thank you.

 

[SpectreT]

Any chance of getting a title of that book? You have me intrigued.

Me, too, please?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Apology to Rox for hijacking your thread....must be in a naughty slave mode....sheesh, what am I saying, I am nearly always in a bad slave mode of late.

Catalina

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Yes, we have hi-jacked it, but to return it to the topic discussed, my opinion, which is worth what it costs you, is that dominant and Dom are not the same.

You can be dominant in your interactions with others, yet not be a Dom.
One is a character trait, and the other a position or title.

Just being dominant does not make you a Dom. The position of Dom is one that is earned, awarded to you by others. Simply naming yourself one does not make you one. You must prove yourself worthy of that title.

 

[FurryFury]

Any chance of getting a title of that book? You have me intrigued.

Me too. I'm always interested in studying new (for me) things.

Fury

 

[Shaq]

Define a "truly dominant personality", please.

Someone who's natural personality causes others to submit to them.



Napoleon
Hitler (though Ihate them both)
Malcolm X
Shaquille O'Neal
Superman



These guys weren't Doms but they had dominant personality that caused their will to dominate and profoundly influence others.

I'm finding a lot of "Doms" don't have that personality at all. Their power comes from those who just give it to them rather than them commanding it not just in their relationship but in all sectors of their lives.

 

[Shaq]

Yes, we have hi-jacked it, but to return it to the topic discussed, my opinion, which is worth what it costs you, is that dominant and Dom are not the same.

You can be dominant in your interactions with others, yet not be a Dom.
One is a character trait, and the other a position or title.

Just being dominant does not make you a Dom. The position of Dom is one that is earned, awarded to you by others. Simply naming yourself one does not make you one. You must prove yourself worthy of that title.

I agree completetly. I'm not a domin but I'm dominant.

I don't know that I want to be a dom.

Being dominant is sufficient for me.

 

[JMohegan]

Someone who's natural personality causes others to submit to them.



Napoleon
Hitler (though Ihate them both)
Malcolm X
Shaquille O'Neal
Superman



These guys weren't Doms but they had dominant personality that caused their will to dominate and profoundly influence others.

I'm finding a lot of "Doms" don't have that personality at all. Their power comes from those who just give it to them rather than them commanding it not just in their relationship but in all sectors of their lives.

Yup. You nailed it. There are Doms who possess all the inspirational energy of a sloth, and the charisma of a cockroach.

In order for a guy to be a Dom, he needs one adult voluntarily submitting to his authority. Just one.

In contrast, someone with a dominant personality would have many.

The position of Dom is one that is earned, awarded to you by others. Simply naming yourself one does not make you one. You must prove yourself worthy of that title.

I know that many people view the word Dom as a title, similar to President or Commander-in-Chief or Grand Poobah. But I am not one of them.

When I use the word Dominant, I use it solely as a conceptual noun to facilitate discussion in a D/s or BDSM context.

I'm just a guy who likes to be in control in personal relationships. That's all. And I would never consent to having the *title* Dom applied to me, because doing so would imply adherence to a set of customs and rituals that I simply do not embrace.

 

[RJMasters]

I really have to agree with your first point. Concerning your second - and this question is sincere, not rhetorical, doesn't your second point really lead to the idea that a Dom/me must earn Her/His title in order to essentially "capture" the respect and surrender of a sub? Or would someone who found earning this type of respect difficult, perhaps because s/he was a bully (catalina's post below) still be a Domme if she considered herself to be? Or at that point would He only be Dominant?

Some would attach certain standards as to what it means to be a Dom or not. I think it is easy to fall into that whole what is a "true" Dom and what is not argument. I have come to a decision that two things are true...

1. Just as someone can be a good, moderate or bad husband, so can they also be a good, moderate or bad Dom.

2. The only thing that is truly important in answering the question you have asked here about the difference between a Dom and dominant, is what to "you" consititues a person being a Dom. What character or standard do you feel a Dom should have. Because in the end, if you are seeking a Dom, then the only one you will feel truly comfortable in giving your submission to is one whom you can respect and trust.

Neonflux,

I'll try and answer your question the best I can. I think the thing I was alluding to here more was personal nature that accompanies being a Dom or Domme. It is interesting that it is often spoke of "earning" trust and respect, yet how does that actually happen? I am more of the mind that a relationship is a relationship is a relationship is a relationship. In all relationships trust and respect is given and earned as there is give and take and exchange between two people over time. Therefore I think compatibility is a key aspect.

I think there is room in one's thinking to be self-aware of their own Dom-ness or Domme-ness that stems from the confidence of who they are. However I do believe that being a Dom or Domme is something that happens inside of a relationship. I say this because I think the position or recognition is not something that is "self-acclaimed" as much as it is given by another and is an essential aspect of the power exchange between a D/s couple. As others have said here, anyone can say they are a Dom or a Domme but that does not make it so.

For a long time I believed that if a person was mature enough or had manners or character, this is what made them a Domme/Dom, but I have come to realize that this is not true. What they really are, are dominants who are mature and who have manners and have character. Some would say, those that have such qualities make for good Doms and Dommes because those are the qualities they are looking for in a person they would be willing to have a relationship with in which they would be able to submit to that person.

What makes being a Dom or Domme "unique" or special is because it is only obtained when another looks at them in that special or unique way. I am not talking about some fairytale type of thing here. I am talking about the honest feelings of devotion and respect that is given from a submissive to a dominant. It is why consent is an intregral part of a D/s relationship, and also why it is an intregral part of the power exchange that takes place. Without it ... well you get the idea.