Doms, issues, etc..

[myinnerslut]

titles

A hates titles. really really hates them. i went from calling him Sir regulary to not being allowed to call him anything other then his name or baby. took some getting used to, but eventually i got it.

 

[Netzach]

My Bull does not go for them much either. He doesn't seem to mind "Sir" as long as it's a "slips out for real in the heat of the moment" honorific, but I asked him point blank about Daddy and he was like "not really, unless it's imperative for you or something." So I don't go there.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Egads, it is so natural to me. We were at a play party and I said, "Thankyousir" cheerfully and offhandedly to a male sub who had handed me my drink. Got the oddest look from him. I just smiled and went on about my business.

To be honest, I've only been taken to task on the sir/ma'am thing a handful of times, and it has always been by women. It can be intersting to try to choke back on it when in a public situation with a group of fellow BDSM'ers.

I'm another who was raised in a military family, to whom "Sir" and "Ma'am" were - and ARE - normal forms of address toward others, as was the custom of offering others service if I were getting something for myself, so if I'm at a play party or munch, and decide I want a cold drink or a snack, I'll invariably ask others if they'd like anything. I've gotten some looks, but no one ever took me to task on that; but like Homburg, when handing a drink or something to someone, I'd say, "Here you go, ma'am/sir," and a couple of times got an indignant look and "I'm a submissive. Don't address me as ma'am/sir!" My immediate response was "The Look," and a sharp "You're not my submissive, and I believe in manners." No one ever objected more than once.

As a side note: As a teacher, once I knew my students' names, if a student raised his/her hand to ask a question, my response most frequently was, "Yes, Mr./Ms. Wannano?" However, the first day of classes, I told them that when I addressed them to ask questions about or opinions on a something, I would point at the student I wanted an answer from, and address all boys would be "Bob" and all girls "George" until I learned their names. They, in turn, would respond with their first and last names, and then provide their answer to my inquiry. It amused the hell out of them, and helped me - and them - learn the names of all the students in the class relatively quickly. Once I'd learned their names, an inquiry to a particular student would be addressed to "Mr./Ms. Dazzleme." (This form of address from me did not apply to my print or broadcast journalism students - they were always addressed by first and last name in classroom situations, and first name only in production situations, because of the difference between the academic classes' (English) and the production classes' activities.)

It always amused me when a student in an English class would respond to something another student said by prefacing it with, "I have a different opinion than Mr./Ms. Blewit. I think ..." blah blah." Shades of "To Sir, With Love!"

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Peter Pan... which fits for other reasons...

Or Mayberry for entirely different ones as well.

 

[Homburg]

Eesh. It's called "manners" and I think it looks good on Doms.

One of the female Doms happened to notice, and she was amused by the interchange as well. Happily, it was apparent that she was amused by his reaction, not my choice of words. And, yeah, it's just manners.

And, as an aside, I've not had a female submissive react even in the slightest bit when called "ma'am". I guess they are used to manners or something *shrug*

 

[Homburg]

I'm another who was raised in a military family, to whom "Sir" and "Ma'am" were - and ARE - normal forms of address toward others, as was the custom of offering others service if I were getting something for myself, so if I'm at a play party or munch, and decide I want a cold drink or a snack, I'll invariably ask others if they'd like anything. I've gotten some looks, but no one ever took me to task on that; but like Homburg, when handing a drink or something to someone, I'd say, "Here you go, ma'am/sir," and a couple of times got an indignant look and "I'm a submissive. Don't address me as ma'am/sir!" My immediate response was "The Look," and a sharp "You're not my submissive, and I believe in manners." No one ever objected more than once.

I did manage to get an odd look out of one lovely older submissive lady when I noticed she had an empty glass and offered to fill it. It was a small kitchen, and I damned near filled it by myself, the last thing I wanted was someone trying to shove past me, and, well, it was the mannerly thing to do. "Here, why don't you let me get that for you, ma'am." She was surprised, but nodded and handed me the glass. I got her what she was looking for and handed it to her with the same sort of "There you go, ma'am" that you mentioned above. She thought for about half a second, and then gave me the most beautiful smile. I probably made a friend there just out of being polite.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Manners are a very big thing with me. I am raising my children to always say please, thank-you and call adults Mr and Mrs unless they are military than call them Sir/Ma'am or by their rank.

I am so mommy conditioned and used to when one of my kids ask for something without saying please I automatically give "The Look" and remind them to mind their manners.

Well....last weekend when I was with my Dom we were just hanging out relaxing and he told me "Get my computer" . Instinct kicked in, I gave him The Look and said "manners?" Without hesitation he said "please" with a smile and we both started laughing..Of course, I apologized immediately.

 

[Homburg]

Well....last weekend when I was with my Dom we were just hanging out relaxing and he told me "Get my computer" . Instinct kicked in, I gave him The Look and said "manners?" Without hesitation he said "please" with a smile and we both started laughing..Of course, I apologized immediately.

That's good stuff

 

[intothewoods]

Good for you, ecstaticsub (I mean, with the kids, not your Dom ).

Homburg - I'm shocked that anyone expects some sort of D/s protocol when y'all are just hanging out. That's one of the things I love about my local group. Outside of a scene, people are just people.

 

[Homburg]

Homburg - I'm shocked that anyone expects some sort of D/s protocol when y'all are just hanging out. That's one of the things I love about my local group. Outside of a scene, people are just people.

The vast majority don't, and I can't say that the fellow I mentioned expected it. He's just VERY subby, for lack of a better word. I won't call him the whipping boy of the organisation, but he's not far from it, and I think he was surprised to hear me being that nice to him. I'm not saying that this group was rude, far from it. It is a very casual, friendly group. But, well, apparently the sort of manners/friendliness I showed was unexpected.

The Dom/mes that I saw weren't rude about expecting to have their drinks filled and the like, but the expectation was there at least at the party. At munches, people get their own food/drinks.

Seriously though, very fun and very casual group. Just certain parties weren't used to me *shrug*. Heck, it may have to do with the fact that I'm a little on the imposing side, and people don't expect me to be friendly. Dunno.