Ettiquete ... CaPitaLIzaTION

[Etoile]

In response to the people who say "who gives a fuck, let's move on, are you going to pick on everything now" - I give a fuck. It's something that does annoy me, and I wanted to discuss it. It's more charged than how many spaces you put after a period (not that that matters on the web, unless you insist on using nbsp), so there is discussion to be had. If you don't care about such things, leave the thread. It's not like I'm expecting this discussion to change how people capitalize things.

I do have a secret (well, not anymore) fear that people who see me using the capital "I" will assume I'm less of a sub because I don't lowercase myself. I guess I just long for approval, even though I find lowercasing the "i" to be annoying. Really it's just a matter of my use of the English language...though I do admit that my online friends can tell when I'm depressed or disturbed because I'll switch to the lowercase "i" - I do use it in that way.

 

[Desdemona]

Considering the volume of internet Romeo (wanna-be) men, I use every method available for weeding out those who are pretending or married and seeking a way to sorta cheat. I can't see how making an opinion of someone based on his/her intentionally written expressions of though would be invalid. Especially on the 'net where liars are everywhere on the prowl.

There are exceptions to every rule. Before I was in a relationship, I used alot of methods to sort through the "wanna-be" types myself. However, I've met some folks in real time, who started out in chat and still carry over those typing habits. I can tell you, they are the real deal in spite of how they type.

 

[aerofreak]

Re: Re: Oh yeah

Once again, the thread isn't necessarily here because you replied to it. The discussion needn't revolve around you. That said, thank you for your input.

I'm well aware that it isn't here because I replied to it, however, Froggy_day, who started the thread, is my girlfriend, and we started the thread together, it just happened to be from her account & we now mainly use my account, so the replies to it are from my account.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Is there more than one of Y/you?!?!?

Y/yes. If the Queen of England can do it, so can I/i.

W/we are not amused!

 

[Etoile]

Re: Re: Re: Oh yeah

I'm well aware that it isn't here because I replied to it, however, Froggy_day, who started the thread, is my girlfriend, and we started the thread together, it just happened to be from her account & we now mainly use my account, so the replies to it are from my account.

Fine. Let me rephrase:

Threads are public. Your opinion is not the only one that might be solicited. Others are permitted to post to threads.

I'm not trying to be cunty, I just don't appreciate the phrasing you've used in your posts. It sounds like you want this thread to die, while I'd like to continue the discussion.

 

[FungiUg]

Re: Good grief

i say lets castigate those who deliberately post like poor Charly from Flowers for Algernon.

You've read Flowers for Algenon? Wasn't that such a sad book? (er, the book is good, but it's very sad.)

 

[lark sparrow]

As far as I can tell, it is an internet expression. However, with the popularity of the Internet for both 'real players' and 'fake players' alike I think the gap is closing. Some people use it, some don't. If you go into BDSM chat rooms it is often present - as an indicator of being either a submissive or Dominant, and often present as a sign of resepect (or disrespect if you don't use it) - it is often a big part of Internet protocal for chat rooms, though some who do like BDSM chatrooms don't recognize it as anything but BS.

It doesn't bother me either way. I cap Mistress - it is protocal between us in written expression, and I am happy to follow Her wishes. If I am in a chatroom (which I really don't like that much personally, but Mistress enjoys it on occasion so I accompany Her) then I will follow it as a common sign of courtesy. It's no big deal. If it's not expected, like here, I am just as content not doing it, except for Mistress.

I think it does make for stilted typing and reading, and can see the annoyance for those unfamiliar, but a little tolerance goes a long way.

 

[Croctden]

Re: Re: ???

Heh. Well, some people choose to capitalize words that refer to a dominant, and specifically lowercase words that refer to a submissive. Like this:
i crawled over to Her and kissed Her feet, She looked down at my sorry form and told me to beg Her for forgiveness
But when referring to a group of people among whom there are both tops and bottoms, the tendency is to give BOTH:
A/all the people in the audience just watched U/us, many of T/their mouths agape

Does that help?

Okay, I get it. I can take it or leave it.

 

[Croctden]

D's mariposa -

I'm glad you were able to realize that the room wasn't good for you, rather than falling into the trap of believing them about not being a good sub. I don't know that I'd have avoided that mistake.

Exactly. This is the biggest load of bullshit there is. Who the fuck decides what is a "good" sub? You ask two doms and you make get two contradictory answers. It's called taste. Everyone is looking for something different in a BDSM relationship (or any relationship, even just friends) so maybe, just maybe, you've just found an incompatible Master or Mistress.

One-size-fits-all works for absolutely nothing in human relations.

 

[D's mariposa]

Have any of you considered that some of the subs who type this way are doing so because they were instructed to by their dominant?

Its just a thought I had.

Yes I had. And I even asked a Dominant or two how they felt about it. One said that if it is the protocol for the room than you should comply. The other one said that he equates the capping of another Dom (other than proper names) with calling them Sir or Ma'am and his submissive was required to NOT do so. Such titles were reserved for him and persons that he told his sub to call that. In most cases that I have seen, when a Dominant requires a sub to do this; the capping of words other than proper names is reserved for private correspondence between the two. (or the poly.)

 

[serijules]

I have a friend who's master requires all of her friends to address him as "master *nickname*" or sir when they talk to him. She has lost many many friends because of this, and I no longer enjoy talking to her knowing he might pop in and expect such. If you try to explain to him that your views differ and you won't do such a thing, he will consider you disrespectful and not allow her to talk to you anymore.

I find this extremely unfortunate, because she is a wonderful and devoted slave and very enjoyable to talk to and be around.

 

[D's mariposa]

I have a friend who's master requires all of her friends to address him as "master *nickname*" or sir when they talk to him. She has lost many many friends because of this, and I no longer enjoy talking to her knowing he might pop in and expect such. If you try to explain to him that your views differ and you won't do such a thing, he will consider you disrespectful and not allow her to talk to you anymore.

I find this extremely unfortunate, because she is a wonderful and devoted slave and very enjoyable to talk to and be around.

(((serijules))) Yup, we have one of those in our community out here. Interestingly enough, she's about to lose her slave because of it. SInce she insists that all of us must call her Mistress (no Ma'am here, it must be Mistress), a lot of us are forbidden to speak with her. In effect, this isolated her slave from the rest of the community since we (her friends) can only see her when her Mistress is not around. (D has forbidden me to talk to the Mistress, but the slave is a good friend of mine. He said we'd have to find a way to meet when the Mistress is not around.)

We sometimes managed to get around around it by "accidently" running into her at the mall or Bookmans or something. The slave is trying to get up the finances to leave. She doesn't work, she's been living with the Mistress since she got laid off (she used to work at United Airlines.) Shes pretty much said that she can't stand the isolation from her friends, and she's tried to talk to the Mistress, and since it didn't work, she's outta there when she's finacially able.

 

[lark sparrow]

I have a friend who's master requires all of her friends to address him as "master *nickname*" or sir when they talk to him. She has lost many many friends because of this, and I no longer enjoy talking to her knowing he might pop in and expect such. If you try to explain to him that your views differ and you won't do such a thing, he will consider you disrespectful and not allow her to talk to you anymore.

I find this extremely unfortunate, because she is a wonderful and devoted slave and very enjoyable to talk to and be around.

Isn't this more of a clash between two groups of people with extreme and unbendable understandings? One's who will NOT use Master/Mistress or Sir/Ma'am with anyone but their partner or someone they truly respect, and those who feel everyone should use it?

If someone likes to be referred to as "Master so and so", that doesn't seem a big deal to me. It doesn't take anything away from me. While I only call Mistress, simply "Mistress", if someone would like me to address them with their title and name, I don't see how that causes any harm... just as if someone wishes to be referred to by their name alone, no title. To me it's about as big of an issue as calling someone Patrick or Pat or patty or Mr. Smith. While I reserve "Mistress" alone, for Mistress, I have no problem using whatever name someone wishes as a courtesy. I have a friend who legally changed her name to "3"... I call her three because that is her wish... seems silly to refuse to call her three because to her it's a name and to me it is a number, and therefore she doesn't deserve being called the name she wishes.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Long before I came actively involved in BDSM and internet I was active in the lifestyle. I encountered the capitalization thing for the first time when I started to talk with subs on yahoo messenger. I hated the whole thing. I mean capitalising names and titles is one thing but this whole slash thing is too much, and I found myself having to forbid subs using the capitalization as it makes it really difficult to read.

Having said this, by now I am used to using capitals to distinguish between subs and dominants. Don’t give an f… if someone uses them or not, but I think everyone should have the possibility to do so if they desire.

I know that there are dominants who think it is necessary for their sub to use capitalization. To start a war and flame them about it is useless and will only result in putting stress on someone who cannot help the way they are writing or expected to write. Live and let live is my motto in these things.

I do have one rule for my partner. She is not to call any other person by an honorific title that is reserved for me, so no Master, Sir, Amo or Lord. I do not feel it is very necessary to use capitalization to make a distinction in public between her and me. This has been a standing rule with me for any slave and submissive I have ever had the honour to call mine.

Francisco.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Rolling ...

For future reference, i use the lower case form of the pronoun in deference to a poem from long ago in Catechism of all things.

The work started out something like the Seven most important words and worked itself down to the least important single word.

Yeah i went there. i actually said that, as a dominant no less.

i also believe there ain't no "i" in team either, but that revolves around another totally off the subject entirely.

Use whatever you wish as long as you make yourself understood.

 

[Mastersprincess]

Okay folks, I have a question and wasn't sure if I should start a new thread or not. I browsed through this one and decided to bump it instead.

Tonight I was talking online to a slave and several times she typed /me. I had never seen this before. I am assuming it has something to do with the A/all style of typing but I thought I would ask.

Does anyone know?

thanks,
princess

 

[serijules]

Habit.

Many people chat on a chat program called mIRC or IRC (internet relay chat). You can do many commands on IRC to show action, private message someone, etc. They all start with a slash /, and /me is the most common...it makes your sentance look like an action.

for instance, typing "/me says hello" will show up as "serijules says hello", to the chatroom

I ALWAYS do that in other forums because I am so used to IRC commands, I often use them in messanger too by mistake.

 

[aerofreak]

Habit.

Many people chat on a chat program called mIRC or IRC (internet relay chat). You can do many commands on IRC to show action, private message someone, etc. They all start with a slash /, and /me is the most common...it makes your sentance look like an action.

for instance, typing "/me says hello" will show up as "serijules says hello", to the chatroom

I ALWAYS do that in other forums because I am so used to IRC commands, I often use them in messanger too by mistake.

Heehee, thank goodness I'm not the only one who does that. We used to only use IRC, and it took a long time to adjust to messenger.

 

[cellis]

Just stopping by to put my 2 cents worth in...

Once upon a time here a lit... there was a sub who arrived and used all the protocol... you know what I mean... referring to herself in 3rd person etc... She was meanly attacked for it and never returned...

I hope that never happens again... people have choices and if they want to use all that chat room crap so be it... I use Himself and He and Him just to explain who I am talking about... I don't do all that other stuff... It is not important to Him and that is all I care about...

~s

 

[Ebonyfire]

Just stopping by to put my 2 cents worth in...

Once upon a time here a lit... there was a sub who arrived and used all the protocol... you know what I mean... referring to herself in 3rd person etc... She was meanly attacked for it and never returned...

I hope that never happens again... people have choices and if they want to use all that chat room crap so be it... I use Himself and He and Him just to explain who I am talking about... I don't do all that other stuff... It is not important to Him and that is all I care about...

~s

but you are special......

 

[cellis]

Hello Eb!

Thank you and how have you been? I have missed you!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hello Eb!

Thank you and how have you been? I have missed you!

I have missed you to. I was being a smart ass (as usual). I remember the incident you mentioned. That was a not shining period in the life of this forum.

It almost seemed as if there was a pecking order.

I hope things are well with you and yours.

 

[cellis]

They are good and how are things with you?

 

[Ebonyfire]

They are good and how are things with you?

I am right as rain, (without the acid)!

 

[Mastersprincess]

Thanks for your replies.

I wasn't trying to sound condescending about the way she was writing....I just had no idea what it meant. Obviously I've never chatted on irc....lol.

My feeling is to each his own...

princess