Extramarital Affairs in Women.

[marriedbigrl]

Exactly, I have seduced and am now fucking a married woman.

No you didn't! Stop being so arrogant! lol

 

[drobert44]

No you didn't! Stop being so arrogant! lol

I sure wont mention her name.

 

[policywank]

Cheating in a monogamous relationship is a betrayal and therefore damaging. I don't think that there is any way around that. I just don't think that there is one universal answer as to how much of a betrayal it is and I don't agree with absolutist views on the matter. I think the reality is rooted in individual perspectives and circumstances.

I've told the story here of a woman I know whose husband cheated on her. She was doing the rounds with all of her girlfriends reassuring herself that he was an irredeemable piece of shit. But when I asked her a few questions it turned out that they'd had a very limited sex life for 20 years. She had a variety of reasons (starting with caring for young children 20 years earlier) which taken on their own were fair enough, but strung together demonstrated an ongoing lack of effort on her part. He was a genuinely nice guy who had tried everything to ignite the spark - not all of it ideal but certainly well intentioned. When she decided that marriage counselling wasn't helping them he decided to continue seeing a therapist on his own to help with his depression. He loved her and their kids very much, but had been slowly beaten down. Then in a moment of weakness he gave into temptation. He felt horrible and confessed right away.

All she could see was the betrayal so she was pretty angry when I told her that she had failed to keep up her end of the marital bargain. No she doesn't owe him sex on demand but she does owe it to him to make a genuine effort to have a grown-up sex life rather than coming up with excuses not to try. To look at his actions while disregarding her own inactions was hypocritical and self-serving. He wasn't an irredeemable piece of shit. He was a nice guy who gave into temptation in a moment of weakness largely created by her neglect. He was keen to patch things up and she owed it to him to try - stop wallowing in self-pity and fuck your man!

Was he in the right? No, of course not. But context matters.

Aside from the specific example, different people genuinely feel different about each "sin." Personally I hate it when people lie. To me there is no such thing as a "little white lie". If I reasonably have the right to know something and someone deceives me to keep that information from me I consider that a grave transgression even if the matter at hand is minor because if they are willing to lie about little stuff they will surely lie about big stuff. But not everyone feels that way. For some people the occasional lie is how they get through life.

In my view the same applies to cheating. Not everyone sees it as the most grave transgression possible at least not independent of context.

 

[lc69hunter]

That's the biggest load of bull shit I've ever had the misfortune to read.

and what part?

 

[LMWM321]

Not everyone sees it as the most grave transgression possible at least not independent of context.

Exactly.. ..Context is everything. There are people (usually women but not always) who are trapped in loveless marriages who face a whole host of horrible repercussions if they ask for a divorce or to open the marriage, including physical violence (to them or their kids), emotional chaos for their children and shame and from their community. ..It doesn't take the empathy of a licensed therapist to understand how that person MIGHT believe cheating is the lesser of evils and one that may be necessary to surviving an otherwise shitty life.

As I've related before, my Mom lived with a horrible husband for over 50 years. ..She NEVER had a single affair but I sure wish she did. ..It would be a comfort knowing she at least had a small amount of romantic joy in her life.

As I've said before, too many people have elevated "cheating" to a place above all other possible sins within a marriage - and it's not even close, IMHO. ..It's a distant 3rd to physical abuse and or emotional neglect/ abuse. Thank god for no-fault divorce as it helps with the financial costs of being caught cheating. Sadly, a certain VP candidate wishes to turn back the clock and do away with NFD.

Finally, some on this thread need to "Judge not lest ye be judged"

 

[metal4lace]

View attachment 2350070

Very elegant and sexy. 45 M4F here, feel free to DM this leg lover.

 

[Mike130]

Cheating in a monogamous relationship is a betrayal and therefore damaging. I don't think that there is any way around that. I just don't think that there is one universal answer as to how much of a betrayal it is and I don't agree with absolutist views on the matter. I think the reality is rooted in individual perspectives and circumstances.

I've told the story here of a woman I know whose husband cheated on her. She was doing the rounds with all of her girlfriends reassuring herself that he was an irredeemable piece of shit. But when I asked her a few questions it turned out that they'd had a very limited sex life for 20 years. She had a variety of reasons (starting with caring for young children 20 years earlier) which taken on their own were fair enough, but strung together demonstrated an ongoing lack of effort on her part. He was a genuinely nice guy who had tried everything to ignite the spark - not all of it ideal but certainly well intentioned. When she decided that marriage counselling wasn't helping them he decided to continue seeing a therapist on his own to help with his depression. He loved her and their kids very much, but had been slowly beaten down. Then in a moment of weakness he gave into temptation. He felt horrible and confessed right away.

All she could see was the betrayal so she was pretty angry when I told her that she had failed to keep up her end of the marital bargain. No she doesn't owe him sex on demand but she does owe it to him to make a genuine effort to have a grown-up sex life rather than coming up with excuses not to try. To look at his actions while disregarding her own inactions was hypocritical and self-serving. He wasn't an irredeemable piece of shit. He was a nice guy who gave into temptation in a moment of weakness largely created by her neglect. He was keen to patch things up and she owed it to him to try - stop wallowing in self-pity and fuck your man!

Was he in the right? No, of course not. But context matters.

Aside from the specific example, different people genuinely feel different about each "sin." Personally I hate it when people lie. To me there is no such thing as a "little white lie". If I reasonably have the right to know something and someone deceives me to keep that information from me I consider that a grave transgression even if the matter at hand is minor because if they are willing to lie about little stuff they will surely lie about big stuff. But not everyone feels that way. For some people the occasional lie is how they get through life.

In my view the same applies to cheating. Not everyone sees it as the most grave transgression possible at least not independent of context.

Quite true. Context is everything.