extreme sex?

[s'lara]

Some acts don't provide the same thrill as they used to. Familiarity and all that. Whether it takes a deeper intensity or not, the resulting satisfaction depends on whether you a) vary how the acts are carried out or b) increase the length of time you abstain from those acts. Absence creates fondness, yadda, yadda.

All things being the same, if deep anal penetration while having your breasts tortured is "done to death", the fervor you once had for it will wane with each repetition. Varietal options make for renewed excitement when you return to a particular act that previously grew old. That's what is so alluring about orgasm denial, pain denial, etc., aside from the control aspect of it all.

If you find yourself venturing further and further towards the other end of the spectrum, i wouldn't worry about whether you'll never return to kisses and cuddles lovemaking. What you equate to satisfactory sex doesn't have to mirror what's traditionally accepted. Your mind and body will let you know when it's time to withdraw from the extreme. The only problem with that is, you have to actually heed the signals your mind and body sends out or you will find yourself on a cycle that's scary and possibly destructive.

Good luck to you. i hope You find your comfortable edges and enjoy satisfaction in skating them.

 

[flicks]

Just a little thought thats creeping up....are any of you finding it difficult to get off unless the sex is seriously warped or playtime is involved?

'Normal' vanilla sex aint doing it for me lately, I am finding I need to push a little further to get to the point I crave.

Have to agree there, 'vanilla sex' just doesn't do it for me, guess it never has.
It's not like i need to be totally dominated but i do need it to be a little kinky else i just don't get off.
And what's the point then?

 

[chris9]

I'm really not far into any 'extreme' bdsm type sex. Only lately we started doing a little. But no matter what we do, my mind is pretty occupied by extreme fantasies. So doing something for real helps my mind to relax and keeps it in the bedroom, with my partner. So the final push still is a fantasy.

 

[shy slave]

'Extreme' is subjective.

There are so many variations on a theme.
Whats extreme to one person is a light touch to another.



I like vanilla sex now and then, sometimes it just feels good to be gently fucked and then quietly held in his arms.
Although he is still in control of every part of the situation, its in a less obvious way than some of the things we enjoy together.

In a strange way its often thoughts of those 'almost vanilla times' that make me miss his physical presence more than usual.

OTOH I would not want that every time.
I could not live without our version of 'extreme.'

 

[O'Mac]

I like vanilla sex now and then, sometimes it just feels good to be gently fucked and then quietly held in his arms.
Although he is still in control of every part of the situation, its in a less obvious way than some of the things we enjoy together.

My partner and I are pretty much in the same category as you, Shy. For us, BDSM is used to supplement our relationship. "Vanilla" (I so hate that term) sex for us happens quite frequently, and it is immensely enjoyable. When we feel like a little knink in the rountine, then we bring out the chains and cuffs. I'd say the ratio is 1 BDSM session for every 3 times we are intimate.