Fat Chick Fetish?

[Netzach]

Heh. *crosseyed lech look*

Talk about conflicted train rides, yup.

 

[rosco rathbone]

They're not all men. That's my point.

The ones calling the shots are either men or worse...sex traitors. Women who identify strongly with the gay male viewpoint.

 

[Netzach]

The ones calling the shots are either men or worse...sex traitors. Women who identify strongly with the gay male viewpoint.

I think you've got it backwards, actually. Gay men are allowed into this one industry because they're amusing and novel and can be kept as pets, women control other women tightly. Some straight dude somewhere has the purse.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I think you've got it backwards, actually. Gay men are allowed into this one industry because they're amusing and novel and can be kept as pets, women control other women tightly. Some straight dude somewhere has the purse.

I like it: (imagined dialogue)

rich guy: you can have a magazine dear, here's a million bucks. I'm going to play golf.

rich straight female: ooh, let's see. what will sell? I know! making women feel bad about themselves. Hmm, I have just the right man for the job
"
giovanni lehomo, supercilous gay art director: "....tiny prepubescent boy asses will be "in" this year....

 

[Netzach]

I like it: (imagined dialogue)

rich guy: you can have a magazine dear, here's a million bucks. I'm going to play golf.

rich straight female: ooh, let's see. what will sell? I know! making women feel bad about themselves. Hmm, I have just the right man for the job
"
giovanni lehomo, supercilous gay art director: "....tiny prepubescent boy asses will be "in" this year....

*chuckle*

Now I'm thinking about butts in white apple bottom jeans. You bring out the worst in me.

 

[rosco rathbone]

*chuckle*

Now I'm thinking about butts in white apple bottom jeans. You bring out the worst in me.

All kidding aside, my theory are born of two things: one, knowing a lot of people at DKNY and Conde Naste and two, realising that real normal guys don't find the NYC/LA media version of female perfection all that convincing. Basically, I really resist any attempt to lay the burden of the media-generated female body image 100% at the feet of "the Man".

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I have nothing to add...I just wanted to mini hijack to wave hello at ya'll

 

[Netzach]

All kidding aside, my theory are born of two things: one, knowing a lot of people at DKNY and Conde Naste and two, realising that real normal guys don't find the NYC/LA media version of female perfection all that convincing. Basically, I really resist any attempt to lay the burden of the media-generated female body image 100% at the feet of "the Man".

I definitely don't think that the average hetero guy has anything to do with it either.
I think most body dysmorphia has to do with what goes on at home and in response to what goes on at home. Magazines aren't the root cause any more than porn causes rape.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I definitely don't think that the average hetero guy has anything to do with it either.
I think most body dysmorphia has to do with what goes on at home and in response to what goes on at home. Magazines aren't the root cause any more than porn causes rape.

OK, but I think we can agree that there is some weirdly skewed, overly thin, non-feminine ideal of bodily perfection that dominates fashion. (and arguably, hence, by trickle down, everything else in the media). It's that image I'm talking about. What connection that has with day to day life is arguable.

 

[Netzach]

OK, but I think we can agree that there is some weirdly skewed, overly thin, non-feminine ideal of bodily perfection that dominates fashion. (and arguably, hence, by trickle down, everything else in the media). It's that image I'm talking about. What connection that has with day to day life is arguable.

Zero. It has zero to do with the center of the bell curve.

Which is probably why it's an aesthetic. It's hard to obtain AND freakish. Because we're not talking about merely skinny. Or skinny like a ballerina. It's a complete one percenter size zero on six feet and all leg.



*waves hi back at Luna*

 

[rosco rathbone]

Zero. It has zero to do with the center of the bell curve.

Which is probably why it's an aesthetic. It's hard to obtain AND freakish.


*waves hi back at Luna*

I think that rape porn is a result of higher forces, not a cause. If you want to say the same thing about models that look like teenaged boys, I won't argue.

Interesting thing to think about: the misogyny of gay men vs that of straight.

pats lunas bottom

 

[A_Kefka]

I seem to have missed a bit of debat on a few things (I skimmed all the posts).

My idea of sexy on a woman tends to involve somewhat large breasts and a big, round backside. These are often found on larger/fat women. A belly doesn't bother me really, but if we are talking ideal beauty, she wouldn't have much of one, and would have a bit of an hourglass shape. This might be what I think of when I think sexy but I do find women sexy who don't fit this too.

When it comes to stars who are sexy and on the bigger side, what do you think of the actress who plalys Cali on "Grey's Anatomy"? I find her very attractive.

Most fertility goddesses and idols of ancient times were depicted as having large breasts, hips, often heavyset, and often pregnant. Until about the last century being heavy might not have been common, but it was desired and thought of as a sign of prosperity (if food is hard to come by then you must be doing well to be fat).

Anyway, jsut a few thoughts on this.

 

[rida]

I don't pretend to know why women criticize themselves, each other and total strangers, over appearance.

I do know this: once you become comfortable in the skin your in, you become mighty sexy. (In my case, sexy in my mind only... but hey, that's improved many aspects of my life. I'm not complaining.)

And, I've noticed that, once you are comfortable in your own skin, you also stop harshly criticizing other women's body as well.

Now when it comes to fashion choices thou, I am an equal opportunity criticizer, if given the chance.

 

[Kikori]

Kefka said it, too. Some guys hold a thought of the bigger the breasts / butt, the better, and quite a few BBWs have those parts. While most guys probably admit that the walkway models pull off the leather and corsets look the best, skinny women don't usually have the physical strength to be forcefully dominating compared to a woman who actually has something on her bones. I know it'd be far easier for a 200+ pound lady to push me over and keep me down (if I were to struggle or retaliate) than someone my weight or very near. Not only does domination itself work best when the dominant one has some weight to push (I'm sorry if that sounds offensive), some more specific fetishes work well when combined with a BBW's frame. Facesitting is probably the most easily imagined example; skinny white girl's butt who can barely reach the guy's cheeks, or BBW who can completely surround the guy's face without him reaching bone. Which is more comfortable, I wonder?

Me, personally, I enjoy the idea of any girl who's not thin enough to snap if I hug her as hard as I can, which said hugs happen often due to me being affectionate. Also, cellulose is quite soft and squishy. I like soft and squishy; it's comfortable. So stick those two traits on a lady, and I have a pillow I can hug, kiss, and love (if there's the personality as well.) This just ties into me and being affectionate, personally; I doubt it's a shared view across all BBW lovers.

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/Tomtastic/FatChick.png
(Posted earlier by Primalex)
Let the normal girls be normal. Normal is usually boring, bland, and dull. She's the cutest of the three anyway. ¬¬

 

[graceanne]

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/Tomtastic/FatChick.png

Am I the only one who just sees random letters and symbols when I click on that link?

 

[00Syd]

Interesting thing to think about: the misogyny of gay men vs that of straight.

Something I often ponder since I was accused of being closer to a misogynistic gay man than a feminist straight woman by a friend.

 

[Netzach]

Maybe I'm just really selective about my friends, but I avoid the few men I've met who seem gay more to avoid women and relate well to gay men I've met, and they're much greater in number, who are gay because they like men as much as I do.

The only misogynistic gay dickweeds I've encountered heavily are upper middle aged, too, I think there's a generation gap in play. There are more ways to *be* gay acknowledged. M's BF is the upper tier of upper middle aged and I think he takes some shit from his world because he's friendly with his ex wife and still fairly ready to admit he finds some women attractive.

My peeps tend to be punk-rock bear kinda guys who like their moms. Not the hugest demographic out there, but I'd hate to paint them with the brush of woman hating because they like dick.

 

[Netzach]

Most, not all, but most men I've worked with have minimal interest in being *physically* overpowered.

Then again, I'm 5'4''. It's self selecting. Men with that fantasy aren't going to look me up.

 

[Etoile]

Most of my gay friends don't like women, but it's not so much misogyny as fear. One of my dear friends accidentally touched my breast once, and he jumped back like he was burned or stung! He has said nice things about my appearance in the past, so I don't think he misanthropically HATES women...they are just a mystery to him. Kind of like me with snakes - he's willing to look from afar, but he doesn't want to touch. Pretty much all my gay friends are like that.

Except one. This guy is totally accepting of women. He gives REAL hugs, not light ones, he talks me up if I say I look bad, he routinely describes women as "smokin' hot" - he just has no interest in romantic or sexual relations with women. I really love this guy's lack of misogyny/fear, he's one of my favorites.

Now, I've also seen REAL misogyny. On the RSVP cruise I went on, there were guys who thought women shouldn't be onboard. "Let them take Olivia," they said. Mind you, there were 143 women out of 1800 passengers - it was REALLY male dominated. But the women who wanted to be there got sneers and nasty looks from those guys. There was a performer, Amy something, who sang a song called Pussy. I was interpreting, and she picked up the sign and said we had to teach it to all the guys in attendance. Most laughed and played along, but a few walked out. Lame...just lame.

The only connection to this thread is that Amy was a fat chick, so I'll stop now. But I wanted to share.

 

[SomeMight]

Do we not think that a whole load of posts in this thread is just people trying to justify the fact that they have a weight problem?? I am reading the same thing over and over.

And men who say they prefer big women... hmmm... would this be because they don't have the self confidence or belief to go after a slim women.

Lastly, this suggestion that slim women are boring. Sorry it just doesn't wash. Slim women are miles more confident than larger women, on the whole. I find that larger women tend to be loud and brash, almost as if they are trying to distract from their largeness. This to me does not come across as interesting, confidence or anything other that a smoke-screen to what is blindingly obvious.

And it's not about size zero or whatever - it's about being normally slim to maybe a few pounds over, but when weight gets way over what is normal and healthy, sorry, that says a whole lot about a person and what is going on in their lives.

 

[Netzach]

And it's not about size zero or whatever - it's about being normally slim to maybe a few pounds over, but when weight gets way over what is normal and healthy, sorry, that says a whole lot about a person and what is going on in their lives.

Hate to break this to you but it's a wide world of variation out there and people like what they like for a million reasons, many of which you can't possibly begin to guess. What is with people who can't just like what they like, but feel like they singlehandedly are fit to weigh in as expert on everyone and everything outside their relationship zone?

Is it because they're really insecure about their choices that they think their rationale has to constitute a landslide majority or else? No, that's not good enough, even it has to be all-sweeping, and anyone in a minority has to be delusional. Healthy.

Just substitute "kink" for "weight" and try on your last sentence.

If you think slim women are brimming with confidence it's clear you were never a girl in HS.

 

[SomeMight]

I am not claiming to be 'expert' however, I am sharing my opinion, just as you are.

Why do you have an issue with this? Is that not what forums are all about, or would you rather everyone just nods in agreement with whatever you post.

As I said in my original post, I have had relationships with women from across the range and I also know a lot of women. This is where I have got my opinion from. For sure everyone is different, but at some point a random collection of people with the same traits have exhibited similar behaviour, thus I draw my conclusion.

Remember I am in England, so there maybe cultural differences between us.

 

[Netzach]

I am not claiming to be 'expert' however, I am sharing my opinion, just as you are.

Why do you have an issue with this? Is that not what forums are all about, or would you rather everyone just nods in agreement with whatever you post.

I don't expect that. How 'bout you? I don't agree. It shouldn't bother you much and it doesn't bother me much that you don't agree with me. My lack of agreement isn't bending back your little typing fingers preventing your free speech.

You're making pronouncements which indicate that you can't imagine why a man would date a larger woman if he could get the slimmer more confident, superior model. In your mind, because of what YOU like, the only reason you can come up with is a lack of self confidence.

I'm a currently pretty much a mid sized woman (bigger than "curves" smaller than "fat chick" probably closest to the girl furthest left of the 3 girl photo) who prefers larger women, what this says about me who knows.

That could be the reason. So could about 20,0000 other things.

ETA: I'm from New York and tend to come off really combative asshole, but mostly I like a good clash of ideas and I really don't personalize anything of it for days afterward.

 

[Etoile]

SomeMight, I respect your opinions (though I do not agree), but I want to say that weight and confidence are not linked. Fat people can be confident, so can skinny people. Some fat people are weight-obsessed, so are some skinny people. There's as many reasons to be neurotic as there are people on the planet.

For me, dating is about seeing beyond the physical. What you say about popular opinion is not popular opinion, but media opinion. The discussion in this thread about magazine editors is spot-on. If fat women are obsessed about their weight, it's because they have had it drilled into them all their lives by the media that skinny is better.

The biggest problem is not that Americans are becoming obese. It's that we are becoming less fit. Too much food, not enough exercise. We need to refocus on being physically fit, not what we LOOK like. A desirable trait should be fitness, not low weight. I know a 300 lb woman who is fit as a fiddle, she can outrun me, outcarry me, etc. And then there's Mary Kate & Ashley Olson, who are definitely skinny but they sure don't seem fit. That should be the important thing - being healthy, no matter what you weigh.

 

[SomeMight]

That should be the important thing - being healthy, no matter what you weigh.

Yes, I agree with your sentiments 100% but being healthy tends to lead to a more normal weight. And I am not talking super-skinny. Just normal.