feelings for your Dom...

[fuckmeat]

wow hun, i really appreciate your post. it's opened my eyes a lot. thank you.

Thanks. When I saw you'd posted I worried that I'd upset you. I hope you can see that I meant everything I said with kindness. You deserve better.

 

[NomadLady]

Bazinga.

Healthily dominant men should have more self assurance than this. You have made it clear that your feelings for him go beyond your current dynamic and yet he's still insecure enough to spit his dummy out over some online cleavage.

BAD SIGN.

He should not get to be possessive over a woman he insists that he doesn't want to possess 90% of the time.



So he says.

Honestly, he cannot have it both ways. He cannot tell you you're a sub and not a partner or lover, encourage you to find a vanilla partner that you don't want, and then have the audacity to get pissy about your FB pic. Seriously, what does this say to you? Right now he has you jumping through hoops for him when he probably does nothing except play with you occasionally. Are you telling me that this is what you want from a long term dynamic?

In my opinion, based on what I've read here, he's an arrogant asshole who is causing you far more grief than he's worth.

Based on your posts here, I'd advise you to ditch the moron and find someone truly capable of reciprocating your feelings.

£10 says your FB status is 'single' so in my opinion you should be able to post whatever damn picture you like.

And my instant gut reaction on reading your post about the FB pic was that he's probably fucking around with other women in all this spare time he has. Cheaters often get very insecure about their partners, because their reasoning is that if they can get away with it then you might too.

But since you're not actually 'together' surely you can fuck who you like? Right?

Didn't think so.

Like I said, he can't have it both ways. Sub does not equal doormat.

Please love, wake up and smell the steaming crap here.

I have to agree with FM a LOT on this.......her advice here is good!!!

 

[SynnR_SainT]

.....

 

[NomadLady]

Thank you both for your input. Both of your posts have helped alot to realise that maybe the situation I am is not the best especially with having a little one involved too. I just have to weed through all crazies til I find the perfect one.

And ten years does not a GOOD Dom make.....do you know how many subs he has had in that time....more than a few would be very telling.....

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you both for your input. Both of your posts have helped alot to realise that maybe the situation I am is not the best especially with having a little one involved too. I just have to weed through all crazies til I find the perfect one.

When it comes to the babies, you have no choice but to be the boss of yourself.

I ought to just add this to my signature, but I encourage you to join fetlife.com which is like FB but perv-friendly. Meet more people, including LOTS of people that you won't be falling in love with, but would like to talk with. Go to munches, demos, instigate conversations.

You've just had a taste of the kind of creepitude that BDSM can hold, and the best defense against that is community.

 

[SynnR_SainT]

......

 

[Stella_Omega]

i dont know of the exact number but I know he has mentioned 2 but i know there has been more. he's tried vanilla relationships and gets tired of the passive aggresiveness. he's told me the reason why he doesnt keep a sub for too long is because they end up having an aggressiveness to them and try to take control therefore he lets them go. he confuses me a bit when he talks about his reasonings...

HAHAHAHAHA....

I just bet they do.

I remember a VERY famous rock and Roll star, saying, VERY earnestly;

"These young girls, they start out so sweet, you know? But then they all turn into bitches... it's so sad."

This between hoovering up the white powder on the mirror.

Do you know what I'm saying here? He treats his girlfriends like shit, they call him on it, they've become "too agressive."

All women do, you betcha.

 

[SynnR_SainT]

.....

 

[Stella_Omega]

I am a member of FL but it's been a bit of a let down for me. They aren't many people in my area.

yeah, I hear you.

Still, you're better off looking for a vanilla guy and seducing him to the dark side-- after you know he's a good dude-- and believe me it's not usually too difficult to do-- than you are taking the first fool that calls himself a "Dom."

 

[SynnR_SainT]

......

 

[SynnR_SainT]

........

 

[NomadLady]

For what it's worth, I've been seeing someone TOTALLY vanilla for a couple of months now....after a dissappointing let down with my last Dom. He knows nothing much about the lifestyle but it willing to learn. Yesterday he delivered an amazing bare hand spanking that surprised me very much and he REALLY got into it...so you can "top from the bottom" in a good way if you want..

 

[SimonBrooke]

yeah, I hear you.

Still, you're better off looking for a vanilla guy and seducing him to the dark side-- after you know he's a good dude-- and believe me it's not usually too difficult to do-- than you are taking the first fool that calls himself a "Dom."

You know, I'm not at all convinced by this. The dark side is in us, I think, or it isn't. And, if it isn't in someone, it may not be a good plan to seduce them to it. There are big highs in this thing that we do, but it is not always a comfortable place to be.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You know, I'm not at all convinced by this. The dark side is in us, I think, or it isn't. And, if it isn't in someone, it may not be a good plan to seduce them to it. There are big highs in this thing that we do, but it is not always a comfortable place to be.

there was a word in my comment that you might have missed; "usually."

It's that DOMINATION thing, isn't it? You guys need to understand that some women don't actually want to be DOMINATED, they want to be spanked-- but they don't know there's a different word for that. SUBMISSIVE... yeah.