finances

[ownedsubgal]

OSG as long as you know where the paperwork is should he die.

My ex next door neighbour had no clue about finances and admitted that should her husband die she knew nothing. She had never paid a bill nor written a cheque...ever.

When my son died he had very little in the way of money, but I had to go through all his private papers to find the information for closing accounts and telling the authorities who needed to know.

I felt like an intruder going through his things. It was awkward and I really did not enjoy it. At that point he had no secrets everything was read because I did not know where the information was. In the process I found private letters and things that I know he did not intend for his mother to ever see.

If it had been a partner or spouse it would have been worse. I did not have to worry about bills or rent/mortgage that would not get paid as result of my sons death, but if it is a partner that is a possibility.

Potentially losing your home because you don't know where paperwork is kept would be terrible.

It is not about his making you independent, it about ensuring your welfare in the event of his unexpected death.

that's just it...for him, ensuring my welfare does not include my having a knowledge of, or ability to handle finances. in the event of his passing before me, which i hope with all my heart does not happen, he has arranged for me to be given to another Master. this person would own me and take care of me as they saw fit. i would have no claim to this house we live in, and his son, if still underaged, would go to family.

like the woman you mentioned, i've never paid a bill or written a check. i've never made a budget or filed taxes. this is one area where not being married helps quite a bit, as these things will not automatically fall into my hands (legally) if the worst were to happen. i do not know where everything is kept, just the everyday bills, none of the major things. if he wished me to know, he would tell me. since he hasn't told me, that means it's none of my business. i wouldn't dare go through his personal things now, and that wouldn't change if he passed away.

 

[liberatedslave]

Wow OSG, part of me is moved by your absolute trust in your Master. The other part of me hopes for your sake that all these transitions go smoothly for you should the worst ever happen.

Sir and I will be moving in together in June. We're both in our mid-twenties and have never co-habited with a partner before. We were disucssing finances and things recently so I find this thread very interesting. I've been in sole control of my finances for 9 years now so I would find it very difficult to hand over responsibility and fortunately that's not something he wants. We'll open a joint account for rent and bills and contribute to it equally (our incomes are about the same). Everything else we will manage separately from our own accounts that we've had for years. Even now when we visit each other we take turns to buy groceries and generally keep things equal.

I would consult him before making any major or unusual purchases and I know he would seek my opinion before buying things himself. As a couple we have a power exchange that governs how we interact with each other and make decisions but Sir has no interest in treating me like a child (no offence meant to others) or in becoming burdened with responsibility for things that I am perfectly capable of doing myself.

Of course we haven't moved in together yet so it could still all go horribly wrong

 

[shy slave]

Like liberated slave I am amazed at your trust in the universe to ensure you die first.

With his demise you could end up homeless, there is no guarantee that the person he wishes to take care of you will do this. Nor is there any guarantee that they will take adequate care of you.

I may call myself 'slave' but we have very different views on it. I would never want to be left that vulnerable should he die before me.

I am in shock at your honesty and arrangement.

However, I am glad it works for both of you. He must be quite something for you to trust both him, and the frailty of fate, in in this way

 

[babiesmiles]

I always had my own income and I have always had separate bank accounts.

I must say none of my partners ( vanilla or not ) ever asked for a joint one .

One of the first things my wise grand mother ( a pioneer in female working ) told me when I was just a child was .... " kid never give away your escape way ... always keep your independence, that way you will always have a choice and respect from your partners ".

Well I still cling to that advice . And I never had to complain .

I believe in wisdom of past generations' experience and I think I will not change my mind .

 

[Bandit58]

I'm amazed as well Life can throw a curve ball at us when we least expect it, sometimes more than one. It is only common sense to be prepared for any eventuality, it's called self preservation. I'm of the view that it's not only the PYL's responsibility to take care of their property, it's also the pyl's.

I trust Master Gil implicitly. Yet it would be extremely silly of me not to be able to take care of myself should something happen to Him. It has also been set in place that should He pass away before me, and the odds of that happening are pretty good unfortunately, that I will still have a place to live. We rent a unit from a housing co-op and my name is on the books as a tenant, and even if we weren't married I'd still be able to live here.

 

[shy slave]

Babies & Bandit I agree with your posts.

Housing and what would happen to me if he were to die first is something we will discuss before I move.

I don't want his children to lose out on inheritance but I don't want to be homeless either.

This is one of the reasons I hate money discussions, sometimes they mean facing reality about perhaps needing a way out or a partners death.

God, I am fun company tonight. Shoot me now LOL

 

[ownedsubgal]

Like liberated slave I am amazed at your trust in the universe to ensure you die first.

With his demise you could end up homeless, there is no guarantee that the person he wishes to take care of you will do this. Nor is there any guarantee that they will take adequate care of you.

I may call myself 'slave' but we have very different views on it. I would never want to be left that vulnerable should he die before me.

I am in shock at your honesty and arrangement.

However, I am glad it works for both of you. He must be quite something for you to trust both him, and the frailty of fate, in in this way

it honestly is not a matter of my having such supreme trust in him, or in fate. it's just the way it is, the way i knew it would be (these things were all thoroughly explained to me before i ever became slave), and the way things make the most sense for us, and our relationship. in his view, it would be hypocritical for him to spend so much time, energy and passion training me and helping me grow into the perfect slave for him...which includes being helpless and utterly dependent on him...and then to turn around and teach me how to take care of myself financially if something were to happen to him. that's just not the kind of slave he wants, and for that i'm grateful since i don't think it's in me to ever be that kind of slave.

there are no guarantees in life, that is true...the person i'm given to may throw me out after 2 wks, or they may treat me like an unloved dog. those possibilities don't scare me since life will have lost all meaning, purpose and joy for me if my Master is no longer in it. so whatever happens to me at that point...i honestly couldn't care less.

 

[babiesmiles]

Babies & Bandit I agree with your posts.

Housing and what would happen to me if he were to die first is something we will discuss before I move.

I don't want his children to lose out on inheritance but I don't want to be homeless either.

This is one of the reasons I hate money discussions, sometimes they mean facing reality about perhaps needing a way out or a partners death.

God, I am fun company tonight. Shoot me now LOL

I hug you instead ... you are wise ! At least from a lawyer point of view !
*hugs * b.

 

[shy slave]

I hug you instead ... you are wise ! At least from a lawyer point of view !
*hugs * b.

Oh God I think I love you.

I have to show him that someone out there thinks I am wise!!!

I never use the emoticon but I have too, right now



Big Kisses heading your way. I am off to bed with a huge smile and without masturbating...amazing

 

[babiesmiles]

Oh God I think I love you.

I have to show him that someone out there thinks I am wise!!!

I never use the emoticon but I have too, right now



Big Kisses heading your way. I am off to bed with a huge smile and without masturbating...amazing

smile you back ... ya wise woman !!!!

 

[LordHawk]

Not to get to far off topic, but I wouldn't want my little one to be totally dependent and helpless. For me, it would take away the thrill of bending a strong woman to my will. I tend to enjoy having to remind her that she is my slave and that she is mine. On the financial side, she is fifteen years older then me, had some business courses in college and has ran a business with her ex husband. So she has a pretty good idea about how to handle money. Me, on the other hand, got a credit card in college, maxed it somehow (looks around innocently) and again somehow managed to forget payments half the time. I wish I'd had internet banking so that it was an automatic payment. However, I have matured since then, mostly since being with my little one and have a better idea about how to work with money. I just got carried away with my first decent paying job and the ability to buy what I wanted when I wanted. The only bill I seemed to be able to remember was my truck payment and that was probably cause I sat in it every day. Now I am discovering that finance, investments and the like interest me greatly and am thinking on going to business school. Not only am I helping my little one with what she needs, she has helped me grow as well. She has three children and I couldn't imagine not allowing her a say in the household management. For checking accounts, I think that once I am settled up here and able to work, we will have a joint check for the household bills and we each will have our own that some of the money goes into for whatever we want.

 

[shy slave]

Not to get to far off topic, but I wouldn't want my little one to be totally dependent and helpless. For me, it would take away the thrill of bending a strong woman to my will. I tend to enjoy having to remind her that she is my slave and that she is mine. On the financial side, she is fifteen years older then me, had some business courses in college and has ran a business with her ex husband. So she has a pretty good idea about how to handle money. Me, on the other hand, got a credit card in college, maxed it somehow (looks around innocently) and again somehow managed to forget payments half the time. I wish I'd had internet banking so that it was an automatic payment. However, I have matured since then, mostly since being with my little one and have a better idea about how to work with money. I just got carried away with my first decent paying job and the ability to buy what I wanted when I wanted. The only bill I seemed to be able to remember was my truck payment and that was probably cause I sat in it every day. Now I am discovering that finance, investments and the like interest me greatly and am thinking on going to business school. Not only am I helping my little one with what she needs, she has helped me grow as well. She has three children and I couldn't imagine not allowing her a say in the household management. For checking accounts, I think that once I am settled up here and able to work, we will have a joint check for the household bills and we each will have our own that some of the money goes into for whatever we want.

I really like that you have learnt things from your slave and you are open about it.
I also like how you have allowed her to direct your life for the betterment of both of you.

It makes me think that you value your slave for all her skills and abilities.

No-one knows everything, and sometimes it seems that the word 'slave' means 'without skills.'

Lord Hawk I have not seen may of your posts but this one has really resonated with me

 

[LordHawk]

Thank you. If you asked my girl, she would probably say that it wasn't so much that she directed me but that she showed me who it was I could be and I made the decision. I tell her that she's made me who I am but she says that it was me who done that. She just saw what could have been. I freely admit to making some stupid financial decisions in college but then thats probably what the credit card people are counting on when they give us cards. I feel that there should be classes in high school on how to deal with money and credit. I don't post very often but everyonce in a while I see something and have to add my not so very humble opinion.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i am not flaming you OSG but, i don't understand how you live the life you live. i don't understand how a Master, who is supposed to help better you, keeps you 'down' the way he does. a Master who is supposed to love you, loves the idea of you being helpless and unable to take care of yourself if something terrible were to happen to him, or how he can just 'hand you over' to another after his passing, none of it makes sense to me, and i understand people in this lifestyle live different ways, and again i'm not knocking you, i just don't see how you can do it. i love my Master and i trust Him with my life, but, i'm glad that he wants me to be independent and know how to take care of myself if something were to happen to Him. i guess i just don't understand how you can make it in the world if you know nothing about nothing. Master has always been about 'learning learning learning' with me so i cannot fathom someone who would want me to be a 'mindless robot' and know nothing about anything....i fear for you if something happens to Him, and the other 'one' wouldn't want to take you in, because how will you survive? how will you live on your own if you have no clue how 'the world works' with all of that said, i'm glad that it works for you both, i just can't see how it does, is all....hope it doesn't seem as though i'm flaming you for the way you live...it was not my intent, i'm just amazed at it....

 

[shy slave]

Thank you. If you asked my girl, she would probably say that it wasn't so much that she directed me but that she showed me who it was I could be and I made the decision. I tell her that she's made me who I am but she says that it was me who done that. She just saw what could have been. I freely admit to making some stupid financial decisions in college but then thats probably what the credit card people are counting on when they give us cards. I feel that there should be classes in high school on how to deal with money and credit. I don't post very often but everyonce in a while I see something and have to add my not so very humble opinion.

I agree there should be classes in highschool as well as information on taxes and debt issues.

I was clueless when I left school and not a great deal better now.
My sons left school a couple of years ago and were the same.

I heard that personal borrowing in the UK is in the trillions. That shocked me. The average person is around £20,000 in debt (excluding mortages). Banks rely on this, and yet few can afford it.

Day time TV is full of ads to get out of debt and claming they can help.

Yet every generation hits the workforce as clueless as the last one.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i am not flaming you OSG but, i don't understand how you live the life you live. i don't understand how a Master, who is supposed to help better you, keeps you 'down' the way he does. a Master who is supposed to love you, loves the idea of you being helpless and unable to take care of yourself if something terrible were to happen to him, or how he can just 'hand you over' to another after his passing, none of it makes sense to me, and i understand people in this lifestyle live different ways, and again i'm not knocking you, i just don't see how you can do it. i love my Master and i trust Him with my life, but, i'm glad that he wants me to be independent and know how to take care of myself if something were to happen to Him. i guess i just don't understand how you can make it in the world if you know nothing about nothing. Master has always been about 'learning learning learning' with me so i cannot fathom someone who would want me to be a 'mindless robot' and know nothing about anything....i fear for you if something happens to Him, and the other 'one' wouldn't want to take you in, because how will you survive? how will you live on your own if you have no clue how 'the world works' with all of that said, i'm glad that it works for you both, i just can't see how it does, is all....hope it doesn't seem as though i'm flaming you for the way you live...it was not my intent, i'm just amazed at it....

i am far from a "mindless robot" who knows "nothing about nothing." i'm not sure what gave you that impression?? there is much more to life than finances and careers. my Master values me greatly for my intelligence as much as anything else. believe it or not, one can be utterly dependent on another person yet still have intelligence and a mind of their own. no, i don't have those life skills required to live an independent life, but that's not something i need or desire, and more importantly, that's not something my Master needs or desires from me. every Master is different and desires a different sort of slave. if all Masters desired an independent, do-it-yourself slave, how dull would that be?

 

[LordHawk]

I am actually something of a dependant master now. I have moved from Nova Scotia from the southern US and have not yet gotten my paperwork to be able to work. I do have dreams of writing and am working on that but most authors never can make that their full time job. So for now my ame is bringing in all the money. She doesn't care and as far as she is concerned I earn my keep in other ways. Some in the bedroom, some not. Hopefully I will be able to work soon, though.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i am far from a "mindless robot" who knows "nothing about nothing." i'm not sure what gave you that impression?? there is much more to life than finances and careers. my Master values me greatly for my intelligence as much as anything else. believe it or not, one can be utterly dependent on another person yet still have intelligence and a mind of their own. no, i don't have those life skills required to live an independent life, but that's not something i need or desire, and more importantly, that's not something my Master needs or desires from me. every Master is different and desires a different sort of slave. if all Masters desired an independent, do-it-yourself slave, how dull would that be?

my point was not that you were not intelligent, my point was that how can you expect to live life if you don't have Master? then what? no, careers and finances are not all there are in life but it IS a HUGE part of life, so if something happens, and you're left without a Master, how then, do you make it on your own? you say you have a mind of your own, yet do you really? it's not about an independent do it yourself slave, it's about having someone who loves to serve you because she WANTS to not because she wouldn't know how to live without you. and also, to give the control over to a Dom, you yourself must first have that control over yourself, if you do not know how to do the basic of things like pay bills etc..how then can you hand over what you don't have?

just curious, how old are you? not that age has anything to do with anything, but i know that you've not always had the Master that you have now and i wonder how you lived then, how you made it through life? i've seen many slaves with NO limits, cat being one of them, and i respect that, i'm in even awe of her because i don't think i could ever have that level of submission to my Master, but i'm also pretty sure she would not do something that her Master asked of her that included breaking the law, which is something i saw you say that you would in another post, so if you have a mind of your own, how then is following through with a 'demand' by your Master that breaks the law or breaks your own moral code, having a mind of your own??

i know that there are different types of Master's i'm not naive enough to believe that every Master is like mine and wants everything in a slave/sub that mine wants of me, but i don't know many who want their slaves/subs to not have a mind of their own, or give input into some of the decisions made in the home, or know how to pay a bill, or love the idea that their slave/sub does not know how to live on their own if he were to die, that truly sounds almost abusive to me. i don't know i guess i will just not comment on your posts anymore as i don't understand and don't want to feel like i'm flaming you because that is not my intent.....good luck to you

 

[ownedsubgal]

my point was not that you were not intelligent, my point was that how can you expect to live life if you don't have Master? then what? no, careers and finances are not all there are in life but it IS a HUGE part of life, so if something happens, and you're left without a Master, how then, do you make it on your own? you say you have a mind of your own, yet do you really? it's not about an independent do it yourself slave, it's about having someone who loves to serve you because she WANTS to not because she wouldn't know how to live without you. and also, to give the control over to a Dom, you yourself must first have that control over yourself, if you do not know how to do the basic of things like pay bills etc..how then can you hand over what you don't have?

just curious, how old are you? not that age has anything to do with anything, but i know that you've not always had the Master that you have now and i wonder how you lived then, how you made it through life? i've seen many slaves with NO limits, cat being one of them, and i respect that, i'm in even awe of her because i don't think i could ever have that level of submission to my Master, but i'm also pretty sure she would not do something that her Master asked of her that included breaking the law, which is something i saw you say that you would in another post, so if you have a mind of your own, how then is following through with a 'demand' by your Master that breaks the law or breaks your own moral code, having a mind of your own??

i know that there are different types of Master's i'm not naive enough to believe that every Master is like mine and wants everything in a slave/sub that mine wants of me, but i don't know many who want their slaves/subs to not have a mind of their own, or give input into some of the decisions made in the home, or know how to pay a bill, or love the idea that their slave/sub does not know how to live on their own if he were to die, that truly sounds almost abusive to me. i don't know i guess i will just not comment on your posts anymore as i don't understand and don't want to feel like i'm flaming you because that is not my intent.....good luck to you

i'm 26 now, and i've been owned since i was 19. how did i make it in life before then? well, i scraped by. there were 2 years of college, between and after which i lived with some man or other. not that i ever actively sought out a man to support me...i didn't even know enough about myself at that time to know if that was something i wanted. i just always seemed to attract controlling men, who demanded to take care of me, at least in a physical sense.

but you brought up a good point...how could i hand over power to my Master if i had none in the first place? well, that is why i don't like to use the term "power exchange" to describe our union, because there truly was no exchange of power. He took control, and i accepted his control. He did not want a slave who was independent, caring for herself perfectly well, but who made a choice to hand that control over to him. He'd been there, done that, and found it just didn't fit his needs. it sounds cliched, but he needed someone who needed him, not just wanted him. so in that way we were a perfect fit for one another. He values my intellect, he needs a slave he can talk to and respect, someone who'll even teach him a thing or two every now and again. He will sometimes ask for my input/opinion regarding various things, running of the house included, but it is his place alone to make the decisions.

also you must realize something...there is a difference between having a mind of your own, and putting your own will first. for me, my Master's will is law, therefore i obey him always, without question or hesitation. so while i still have my own mind, HE and his will come first, period. personally, i don't see the point in having or wanting a Master if in the end, you're just going to do whatever you please anyway. you can't own yourself and be owned by another at the same time...you must choose which way you're going to go.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Of course, there are many ways of needing another. It can equate to the helpless little thing image where the thought is the man is 'needed' for her to survive....but as you have shown OSG, you managed to survive before your Master came into your life and would if he walked out as well, just as he would even though he needs you because you make him feel needed.....then there is the needing of another which reaches an emotional and spiritual level where life seems pointless without the other in it, where though survival is possible, the spark has been extinguished and no-one else can relight it in just the same way. For us that is how we feel about each other....we both lead lives before and survived, but no-one else can or ever did provide us with that indefineable something which makes even the worst days seem worthwhile.

For that, I don't have to play up the helpless female role, though I have known many vanilla and D/s women who love to promote their total inability to cope without a certain man to do for them, and not want to mention or acknowledge they survived well before, and usually do afterward, and even for some still find the need to have someone else on the side in secret to help them cope as well and hope their man does not find out. What I find difficult to handle are the men who unquestionably believe this helpless quality to be so despite the obvious evidence to the contrary....they have their fantasy fed, and their ego stroked, so why bother with reality. LOL, I had a cousin who lived with a girl for a time who claimed she was so little nd helpless she couldn't pull out the dining room chair on her own because it was so heavy and she was so fragile....he believed it hook, line and sinker and bragged to everyone how she needed him...of course when we dropped in and he was not there, she had no problem pulling out her seat and sitting on it (must have gotten lighter when he wasn't there ...and she had no problem ripping him off for everything he owned and moving on while he was in hospital following a serious accident....I sort of translated her 'need' to using which she proved when she went on to do the same to 2 other men after him. Maybe it is these men who are the helpless, fragile, needy ones?

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

yes, there are different ways of needing a person, i agree with you there Catalina. i suppose then my Master is one of the greedy ones, as he needs to be needed both in a physical sense as well as in an emotional/psychological sense. yes, i survived before he came along, by depending on others who were in all honesty not very dependable. i was heading down a very dangerous road at top speed, and if i had not met my Master when i did there is no doubt in either of our minds that i would be long dead now. fast forward to the present, where this man so consumes my life that it truly would be pointless (to me) to live without him. this is why i do not worry about the practicalities of taking care of myself (something i've never done and have never been able to do) if something should happen to him....because he is my world, my life...what gives me purpose and meaning. who cares if i can't pay a bill, or don't know how to deal with insurance, or end up living in a cage 23 hrs out of the day eating mush from the floor?? i'll only be existing at that point, not living.

 

[catalina_francisco]

yes, there are different ways of needing a person, i agree with you there Catalina. i suppose then my Master is one of the greedy ones, as he needs to be needed both in a physical sense as well as in an emotional/psychological sense. yes, i survived before he came along, by depending on others who were in all honesty not very dependable. i was heading down a very dangerous road at top speed, and if i had not met my Master when i did there is no doubt in either of our minds that i would be long dead now. fast forward to the present, where this man so consumes my life that it truly would be pointless (to me) to live without him. this is why i do not worry about the practicalities of taking care of myself (something i've never done and have never been able to do) if something should happen to him....because he is my world, my life...what gives me purpose and meaning. who cares if i can't pay a bill, or don't know how to deal with insurance, or end up living in a cage 23 hrs out of the day eating mush from the floor?? i'll only be existing at that point, not living.

Touche perhaps, though I recall you once fearing becoming his peer or equal in a way as time passed....I am happy for you that you seem to have been able to save yourself from that fate and remain the ever dutiful, if very helpless, slave. I still maintain in your own way you have managed very well to survive and do for yourself on your terms. Honestly, the only people I have ever known who truely cannot manage to do for themselves have been the physically and/or mentally challenged, those who have been over indulged and never forced to do so, or those who found it worked to build that facade to get someone to take care of them and relieve them of the mundane and often difficult realities of life.

Catalina

 

[unknooown]

i'm not in a D/s relationship, nor have i ever been (in fact, i've just been lurking around here for the past month out of curiosity...and procrastination), but i know that, personally, i need to have access to and make my own money.

however, as i'm a horrible spender and an altogether submissive person, i think it would be quite nice to have someone tell me, "no, you can't buy that." if what i want is something that i really shouldn't be buying (like a new dress that, like all the others, will probably be worn once and then saved for "a special occasion" that never arrives), i'll listen. but if it's a necessity (textbooks, beer, etc), i'll buy it.

 

[the captians wench]

OSG as long as you know where the paperwork is should he die.

My ex next door neighbour had no clue about finances and admitted that should her husband die she knew nothing. She had never paid a bill nor written a cheque...ever.

When my son died he had very little in the way of money, but I had to go through all his private papers to find the information for closing accounts and telling the authorities who needed to know.

I felt like an intruder going through his things. It was awkward and I really did not enjoy it. At that point he had no secrets everything was read because I did not know where the information was. In the process I found private letters and things that I know he did not intend for his mother to ever see.

If it had been a partner or spouse it would have been worse. I did not have to worry about bills or rent/mortgage that would not get paid as result of my sons death, but if it is a partner that is a possibility.

Potentially losing your home because you don't know where paperwork is kept would be terrible.

It is not about his making you independent, it about ensuring your welfare in the event of his unexpected death.

My mom and I talk about this issue a lot, and I think it relates. In the event that one of us should die unexpectedly, we each have a letter set aside for the other. We've told each other where the letter is hidden so there will be no searching around for it. Any papers reguarding insurance and what not are in the same envelope along with a note telling the other what things need to be done. My letter also includes a note to Jounar which would be mailed to him should she not be able to reach him by phone. (tho both seem like a rather harsh way to find out a loved one is gone). There's also passwords to my yahoo accounts and here even, so she could let any of my net friends know what's happened.

We both feel more comfortable with this. This way there's no searching thru anything. It's all in one place. And I don't ahve to know any of her financial business until the moment she dies, and her with me.

 

[chris9]

Thank you, ownedsubgal, for your last two posts in this thread
I think they made me understand more than I ever thought possible how D/s works for you.