finances

[catalina_francisco]

Of course, in discussing the arrangement of finances in a D/s relationship, we have approached it from a fairly average situation, but I wonder in instances of subs such as OSG who feel they do not have the ability to handle anything financial or legal, what happens if their Master/Mistress through some unfortunate twist of fate is no longer capable of doing it for them? For instance, effects from a stroke or accident, an illness which debilitates in some form so they are no longer able to cope with these matters but in my way of thinking, are still the Dominant half of the relationship, perhaps even severe depression which is escalated by dealing with financial and/or legal matters, or hinders their ability to work fultime and earn an adequate income to support them both. Does the submissive then look for greener pastures where they will continue to be catered for and leave the Dominant who has held their life in their hands for so long to cope alone, or do they decide to develop the necessary skills and as a form of service add it to their tasks and by so doing provide their PYL with the comfort of knowing they have remained loyal, and also managed to ensure the PYL's needs are being served as well as their own?

I know we already have some pyl's here who do perform certain duties for their PYL's who have medical reasons for not being able to, or being better for having their sub take some of that burden from them, and I have known D/s relationships personally which have dealt well with this situation, but none of them involved a sub who felt it was not their place and was beyond their capabilities under any circumstances, and thus wonder what happens in that situation? Does it test the boundaries of D/s roles, or does it provide a platform to enhance these roles?

Catalina

 

[SweetErika]

I don't think finances should be left up to the schools to teach. Instead, they should be taught from a very young age by the parent(s)/guardian(s). The number of people who fail to talk to their kids in-depth about money is ridiculous; part of raising a kid to be a self-sufficient, productive member of society is teaching them how to care for their finances and be responsible with money.

When I was 5 or so, I got my first bank account. Every time I got money as a gift or selling lemonade or whatever, my mom taught me how to deposit at least 10%, and I had to save for big things I wanted, like games and a TV. When I was 11, and my parents divorced, Mom and I sat down and made a monthly budget together. She also taught me about investing and how to use credit cards properly/responsibly. She had me help her pay bills and write out checks for years so I knew how much it cost to live and how to do it when I got my own checking account at 14 or so. She never hid how much she made or we spent, and that helped me understand it was important to be careful with money. I had to get a job as I approached 16 to pay for my own insurance, gas and car repairs, as well as luxuries, not because we needed the money, but because it taught me responsibility and budgeting.

We did learn some budgeting and check writing in school, but that wasn't all that helpful. If my parents hadn't taught me about money, I'd probably be in debt right now, instead of a homeowner with a perfect credit score for my age. My husband's parents did a good job with him, too, and it's helped make our lives a lot better/easier than if they'd left it up to the school system.

 

[BiBunny]

I don't think finances should be left up to the schools to teach. Instead, they should be taught from a very young age by the parent(s)/guardian(s). The number of people who fail to talk to their kids in-depth about money is ridiculous; part of raising a kid to be a self-sufficient, productive member of society is teaching them how to care for their finances and be responsible with money.

When I was 5 or so, I got my first bank account. Every time I got money as a gift or selling lemonade or whatever, my mom taught me how to deposit at least 10%, and I had to save for big things I wanted, like games and a TV. When I was 11, and my parents divorced, Mom and I sat down and made a monthly budget together. She also taught me about investing and how to use credit cards properly/responsibly. She had me help her pay bills and write out checks for years so I knew how much it cost to live and how to do it when I got my own checking account at 14 or so. She never hid how much she made or we spent, and that helped me understand it was important to be careful with money. I had to get a job as I approached 16 to pay for my own insurance, gas and car repairs, as well as luxuries, not because we needed the money, but because it taught me responsibility and budgeting.

We did learn some budgeting and check writing in school, but that wasn't all that helpful. If my parents hadn't taught me about money, I'd probably be in debt right now, instead of a homeowner with a perfect credit score for my age. My husband's parents did a good job with him, too, and it's helped make our lives a lot better/easier than if they'd left it up to the school system.

Problem is, a lot of parents suck at dealing with money, too. For example, my grandmother was one of those women who depended on her husband for everything. When he died unexpectedly, she knew nothing about bills, checks, bank statements, etc. For the past 15 years, my mother has been balancing her checkbook, reconciling her bank statements, and paying her bills for her because she still refuses to learn how to do it, as long as she can turn it over to someone else. To me, that's just plain lazy. (My grandmother and I do not get along, in large part because of how she uses my mother, but that's neither here nor there.)

Anyway, my mother takes care of her and Daddy's finances and does a fine job. I tease her and call her a greedy, tightfisted old woman, LOL. My aunt (my mother's sister), at the age of 53, still comes to my mother to ask her why she's overdrawn her bank account or made some other kind of financial "error." She doesn't know how to take care of these things, either. My aunt's son (my first cousin) is just as bad at handling money as his mom is. I, on the other hand, have never bounced a check or missed a payment on a bill. My cousin will be 27 in February, and his credit is so bad that he STILL, at that age, has to have a co-signor to buy anything. I'm 23, and I can get anything I want in my own name, no problem.

My mother taught me some things about handling finances, and I learned some of it in school. I do think that schools should teach at least the basics because there's no guarantee that one's parents will know jack shit about money, LOL.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i'm 26 now, and i've been owned since i was 19. how did i make it in life before then? well, i scraped by. there were 2 years of college, between and after which i lived with some man or other. not that i ever actively sought out a man to support me...i didn't even know enough about myself at that time to know if that was something i wanted. i just always seemed to attract controlling men, who demanded to take care of me, at least in a physical sense.

but you brought up a good point...how could i hand over power to my Master if i had none in the first place? well, that is why i don't like to use the term "power exchange" to describe our union, because there truly was no exchange of power. He took control, and i accepted his control. He did not want a slave who was independent, caring for herself perfectly well, but who made a choice to hand that control over to him. He'd been there, done that, and found it just didn't fit his needs. it sounds cliched, but he needed someone who needed him, not just wanted him. so in that way we were a perfect fit for one another. He values my intellect, he needs a slave he can talk to and respect, someone who'll even teach him a thing or two every now and again. He will sometimes ask for my input/opinion regarding various things, running of the house included, but it is his place alone to make the decisions.

also you must realize something...there is a difference between having a mind of your own, and putting your own will first. for me, my Master's will is law, therefore i obey him always, without question or hesitation. so while i still have my own mind, HE and his will come first, period. personally, i don't see the point in having or wanting a Master if in the end, you're just going to do whatever you please anyway. you can't own yourself and be owned by another at the same time...you must choose which way you're going to go.

if you have gone to college, then how are you NOT capable of living on your own. you were 19 when you first got owned, then did you live with your parents up until then? if so, then you have no idea if you can live on your own, as you never really have. i understand Him wanting you to need Him. i NEED my Master too, but i also know even though it wouldn't seem worth living anymore if He released me or something happened to Him, i could and would go on. as far as 'why have a Master if you are going to do what you want to anyway' i dont' do what i want to, i ask Master before doing things, if He does not give permission, i do not do them. if you accepted him 'taking' control over you, there was still a power exchange that happened there. to say that you do EVERYTHING He asks without question or hesitation i also find hard to believe, as alot of things Master asks of me, are hard for me, and if i were to say i've NEVER hesitated to follow through on one of His orders i would be lying, and i don't see how any human can say they've never hesitated to follow through on an order, especially ones that are hard for us to follow through with that go against or come close to going against something we are afraid of , etc...so unless you have no fear, no feelings, and no mind of your own, then i don't see how that statement is true. as you, i also put my Master's will first, always, period. unless it comes down to my kids, then my kids come first and Master understands and respects that. my kids have no place in this lifestyle, and the only time i would not put Master first is if one of my kids needed me at the same time. i do understand a little more of what you're saying now, but i still don't get it 100%..but thank you for explaining further.....

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I agree there should be classes in highschool as well as information on taxes and debt issues.

I was clueless when I left school and not a great deal better now.
My sons left school a couple of years ago and were the same.

I heard that personal borrowing in the UK is in the trillions. That shocked me. The average person is around £20,000 in debt (excluding mortages). Banks rely on this, and yet few can afford it.

Day time TV is full of ads to get out of debt and claming they can help.

Yet every generation hits the workforce as clueless as the last one.

Sounds like the US, as well...

Here in the States, you can't go to a damn department store without them trying to get you to open a credit card... I know I work for one...

and I despise credit cards.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't think finances should be left up to the schools to teach. Instead, they should be taught from a very young age by the parent(s)/guardian(s). The number of people who fail to talk to their kids in-depth about money is ridiculous; part of raising a kid to be a self-sufficient, productive member of society is teaching them how to care for their finances and be responsible with money.

When I was 5 or so, I got my first bank account. Every time I got money as a gift or selling lemonade or whatever, my mom taught me how to deposit at least 10%, and I had to save for big things I wanted, like games and a TV. When I was 11, and my parents divorced, Mom and I sat down and made a monthly budget together. She also taught me about investing and how to use credit cards properly/responsibly. She had me help her pay bills and write out checks for years so I knew how much it cost to live and how to do it when I got my own checking account at 14 or so. She never hid how much she made or we spent, and that helped me understand it was important to be careful with money. I had to get a job as I approached 16 to pay for my own insurance, gas and car repairs, as well as luxuries, not because we needed the money, but because it taught me responsibility and budgeting.

We did learn some budgeting and check writing in school, but that wasn't all that helpful. If my parents hadn't taught me about money, I'd probably be in debt right now, instead of a homeowner with a perfect credit score for my age. My husband's parents did a good job with him, too, and it's helped make our lives a lot better/easier than if they'd left it up to the school system.

Sounds pretty much like the way I was raised. Family finances were always discussed openly, usually over the dinner table, Like you, I had a savings account from 5 yo. I also was expected to pay rent when I left school and began working. SOme people think that is shocking to have to pay rent in the family home,but the purpose was not to get money out of us, but to teach us that it was the number one priority when you got your pay to make sure you had a roof over your head always, and you learned that those other litle nicities like Mum having dinner n when you came in after a long day was not going to come free elsewhere in life. It was also helpful they discussed their savings plans and what was the best way to get the most out of their money, as little as it was, From that I learned bank accounts were not meant to just be somewhere to stash your money and forget about it because the bank had other options which could make money from your money while it sat there...without that I never would have been able to save for a car (2 actually), buy a house, or go on vacation.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

if you have gone to college, then how are you NOT capable of living on your own. you were 19 when you first got owned, then did you live with your parents up until then? if so, then you have no idea if you can live on your own, as you never really have. i understand Him wanting you to need Him. i NEED my Master too, but i also know even though it wouldn't seem worth living anymore if He released me or something happened to Him, i could and would go on. as far as 'why have a Master if you are going to do what you want to anyway' i dont' do what i want to, i ask Master before doing things, if He does not give permission, i do not do them. if you accepted him 'taking' control over you, there was still a power exchange that happened there. to say that you do EVERYTHING He asks without question or hesitation i also find hard to believe, as alot of things Master asks of me, are hard for me, and if i were to say i've NEVER hesitated to follow through on one of His orders i would be lying, and i don't see how any human can say they've never hesitated to follow through on an order, especially ones that are hard for us to follow through with that go against or come close to going against something we are afraid of , etc...so unless you have no fear, no feelings, and no mind of your own, then i don't see how that statement is true. as you, i also put my Master's will first, always, period. unless it comes down to my kids, then my kids come first and Master understands and respects that. my kids have no place in this lifestyle, and the only time i would not put Master first is if one of my kids needed me at the same time. i do understand a little more of what you're saying now, but i still don't get it 100%..but thank you for explaining further.....

A lot of what you say rings true for us as well. There is this view held by some which says anyone who is owned must present as helpless and claim an inability to do anything that hints at responsibility, like handling finances, whereas my way of looking at it is if indeed you have understood and fully accepted you are owned and as such belong to your Owner in all ways and are on this earth to provide them with their needs and desires, if they then decide one of those needs is handling the household finances, it then becomes a priority as a slave to fulfil that duty. Maintaining the helpless stance does not prove to me a person is more of a slave than I am or that they have willingly given over control of their life to another because even if they have not been asked to do these things, they are saying if they were, it would not be possible for them to do anyway which IMW translates to refusing an order and refusing to put your Owner's needs first before your own.

If HE (or She) does come first in the slaves heart and soul, then whatever is asked is also a priority, no matter how difficult or how long it may take to learn and become efficient at, or to endure....to do otherwise, despite OSG's opinion otherwise, does for me present putting your own needs and desires before your Owner's and then adding insult to injury by trying to disguise it as just not possible. As to saying to be a slave and owned means choosing to do more than just what pleases you, isn't saying because you refuse to accept the possibility of handling finances if ordered to because it isn't you just another way of saying it won't get done (or asked for) because you as a slave will not even consider it, not to mention do it? I know in this household many things are ordered and done which are not to my pleasure or pleasing, and as has often been the case, if I wasn't previously able to do whatever it was which was needed by my Owner, it was up to me to find a way to learn how to do it as quickly as possible, no excuses accepted, whether it meant learning to do it on a skills level or by getting past a preconceived idea I held that it was not possible because it just wasn't what I was used to, what I do, or what I believed I could do.

Unfortunately, if F sees there is something I have an aversion to for whatever reason, but particularly if it is not something I will not find easy or welcome, it is all the more attractive to him to make it part of my duties to perform. By so doing he gets to prove to me once again how deeply I have accepted his ownership of me, and that he is not concerned with what I think is possible or acceptable for me to do, but what he requires is all that it comes down to in the end. As he often points out when I struggle, it is as simple as accepting that priority and by submitting to it, acting accordingly. I think where the difference lies is like you say lsr, it may not be to our liking, it may not be second nature for us, and as such there are often areas we struggle to succeed in, but the reality is by submitting we accept it is our place to continue with the struggle to make it a reality.

I for one am not perfect, and even knowing it is my Owner's desire does not mean I can switch on the automatic switch and make it easy for myself or him simply because I am ordered to do xyz, and it is that continual challenge to overcome those areas which are not natural for me which feed my submission and help me grow as a slave, not remain locked into a list of things I can or will do and those I can't or won't and rely on F to know those things cannot be asked of me so I can maintain a facade of being perfect and wonderfully obedient. As is often said here, it is what works for each relationship, and each arrangement is going to be different...not necessarily better or worse, just what suits those involved.

Catalina

 

[lil_slave_rose]

A lot of what you say rings true for us as well. There is this view held by some which says anyone who is owned must present as helpless and claim an inability to do anything that hints at responsibility, like handling finances, whereas my way of looking at it is if indeed you have understood and fully accepted you are owned and as such belong to your Owner in all ways and are on this earth to provide them with their needs and desires, if they then decide one of those needs is handling the household finances, it then becomes a priority as a slave to fulfil that duty. Maintaining the helpless stance does not prove to me a person is more of a slave than I am or that they have willingly given over control of their life to another because even if they have not been asked to do these things, they are saying if they were, it would not be possible for them to do anyway which IMW translates to refusing an order and refusing to put your Owner's needs first before your own.

If HE (or She) does come first in the slaves heart and soul, then whatever is asked is also a priority, no matter how difficult or how long it may take to learn and become efficient at, or to endure....to do otherwise, despite OSG's opinion otherwise, does for me present putting your own needs and desires before your Owner's and then adding insult to injury by trying to disguise it as just not possible. As to saying to be a slave and owned means choosing to do more than just what pleases you, isn't saying because you refuse to accept the possibility of handling finances if ordered to because it isn't you just another way of saying it won't get done (or asked for) because you as a slave will not even consider it, not to mention do it? I know in this household many things are ordered and done which are not to my pleasure or pleasing, and as has often been the case, if I wasn't previously able to do whatever it was which was needed by my Owner, it was up to me to find a way to learn how to do it as quickly as possible, no excuses accepted, whether it meant learning to do it on a skills level or by getting past a preconceived idea I held that it was not possible because it just wasn't what I was used to, what I do, or what I believed I could do.

Unfortunately, if F sees there is something I have an aversion to for whatever reason, but particularly if it is not something I will not find easy or welcome, it is all the more attractive to him to make it part of my duties to perform. By so doing he gets to prove to me once again how deeply I have accepted his ownership of me, and that he is not concerned with what I think is possible or acceptable for me to do, but what he requires is all that it comes down to in the end. As he often points out when I struggle, it is as simple as accepting that priority and by submitting to it, acting accordingly. I think where the difference lies is like you say lsr, it may not be to our liking, it may not be second nature for us, and as such there are often areas we struggle to succeed in, but the reality is by submitting we accept it is our place to continue with the struggle to make it a reality.

I for one am not perfect, and even knowing it is my Owner's desire does not mean I can switch on the automatic switch and make it easy for myself or him simply because I am ordered to do xyz, and it is that continual challenge to overcome those areas which are not natural for me which feed my submission and help me grow as a slave, not remain locked into a list of things I can or will do and those I can't or won't and rely on F to know those things cannot be asked of me so I can maintain a facade of being perfect and wonderfully obedient. As is often said here, it is what works for each relationship, and each arrangement is going to be different...not necessarily better or worse, just what suits those involved.

Catalina

the more i read your posts and about your life cat, i really think our relationships are alot alike..lol. and one thing i'm gonna touch on that i didn't see stated in your post, is that, even though there are things Master orders of me that *i*feel i'm not capable of handling, or doing, i also know in my heart, that HE would never ask something of me that He didn't think i was capable of doing, though that doesn't mean He wouldn't know it would be hard for me to do, because He would, if He gives me an order and i make an excuse as to why i don't think i can follow through, He does not listen to said excuse, He basically reminds me i have two choices, follow through with His order, or be punished..it's that simple and i know He would never set me up for failure, and even if i CAN'T do it after trying and trying again and then trying some more, at least i tried, and that counts for a lot! a lot more than just simply saying 'i can't do it, or i won't do it because that's not something we discussed in the beginning' i struggle with orders, alot but the fact that i've only been 'punished' 2 or 3 times so far in 3 years, says alot about whether or not i follow through with said orders. anyway, i'm done rambling, just wanted to add a bit of my own 2 cents to your previous post and let you know that i look up to your opinions very much and usually find myself nodding my head while i'm reading

 

[ownedsubgal]

if you have gone to college, then how are you NOT capable of living on your own. you were 19 when you first got owned, then did you live with your parents up until then? if so, then you have no idea if you can live on your own, as you never really have. i understand Him wanting you to need Him. i NEED my Master too, but i also know even though it wouldn't seem worth living anymore if He released me or something happened to Him, i could and would go on. as far as 'why have a Master if you are going to do what you want to anyway' i dont' do what i want to, i ask Master before doing things, if He does not give permission, i do not do them. if you accepted him 'taking' control over you, there was still a power exchange that happened there. to say that you do EVERYTHING He asks without question or hesitation i also find hard to believe, as alot of things Master asks of me, are hard for me, and if i were to say i've NEVER hesitated to follow through on one of His orders i would be lying, and i don't see how any human can say they've never hesitated to follow through on an order, especially ones that are hard for us to follow through with that go against or come close to going against something we are afraid of , etc...so unless you have no fear, no feelings, and no mind of your own, then i don't see how that statement is true. as you, i also put my Master's will first, always, period. unless it comes down to my kids, then my kids come first and Master understands and respects that. my kids have no place in this lifestyle, and the only time i would not put Master first is if one of my kids needed me at the same time. i do understand a little more of what you're saying now, but i still don't get it 100%..but thank you for explaining further.....

sometimes it can be difficult to relate to or understand the perspectives of someone who is coming from a place very different than ourselves. yes, i can honestly say i have never hesitated to obey my Master. that does not mean that i do not have feelings, that i do not fear, that i do not think. it simply means that i obey without hesitation, in spite of all those things...because my Master will accept nothing less.

 

[ownedsubgal]

A lot of what you say rings true for us as well. There is this view held by some which says anyone who is owned must present as helpless and claim an inability to do anything that hints at responsibility, like handling finances, whereas my way of looking at it is if indeed you have understood and fully accepted you are owned and as such belong to your Owner in all ways and are on this earth to provide them with their needs and desires, if they then decide one of those needs is handling the household finances, it then becomes a priority as a slave to fulfil that duty. Maintaining the helpless stance does not prove to me a person is more of a slave than I am or that they have willingly given over control of their life to another because even if they have not been asked to do these things, they are saying if they were, it would not be possible for them to do anyway which IMW translates to refusing an order and refusing to put your Owner's needs first before your own.

If HE (or She) does come first in the slaves heart and soul, then whatever is asked is also a priority, no matter how difficult or how long it may take to learn and become efficient at, or to endure....to do otherwise, despite OSG's opinion otherwise, does for me present putting your own needs and desires before your Owner's and then adding insult to injury by trying to disguise it as just not possible. As to saying to be a slave and owned means choosing to do more than just what pleases you, isn't saying because you refuse to accept the possibility of handling finances if ordered to because it isn't you just another way of saying it won't get done (or asked for) because you as a slave will not even consider it, not to mention do it? I know in this household many things are ordered and done which are not to my pleasure or pleasing, and as has often been the case, if I wasn't previously able to do whatever it was which was needed by my Owner, it was up to me to find a way to learn how to do it as quickly as possible, no excuses accepted, whether it meant learning to do it on a skills level or by getting past a preconceived idea I held that it was not possible because it just wasn't what I was used to, what I do, or what I believed I could do.

Unfortunately, if F sees there is something I have an aversion to for whatever reason, but particularly if it is not something I will not find easy or welcome, it is all the more attractive to him to make it part of my duties to perform. By so doing he gets to prove to me once again how deeply I have accepted his ownership of me, and that he is not concerned with what I think is possible or acceptable for me to do, but what he requires is all that it comes down to in the end. As he often points out when I struggle, it is as simple as accepting that priority and by submitting to it, acting accordingly. I think where the difference lies is like you say lsr, it may not be to our liking, it may not be second nature for us, and as such there are often areas we struggle to succeed in, but the reality is by submitting we accept it is our place to continue with the struggle to make it a reality.

I for one am not perfect, and even knowing it is my Owner's desire does not mean I can switch on the automatic switch and make it easy for myself or him simply because I am ordered to do xyz, and it is that continual challenge to overcome those areas which are not natural for me which feed my submission and help me grow as a slave, not remain locked into a list of things I can or will do and those I can't or won't and rely on F to know those things cannot be asked of me so I can maintain a facade of being perfect and wonderfully obedient. As is often said here, it is what works for each relationship, and each arrangement is going to be different...not necessarily better or worse, just what suits those involved.

Catalina

for some reason Catalina, you seem to be incapable of engaging in a respectful or even courteous, intelligent discussion with or about me. you also seem to have the idea stuck in your head that i alone define what is and is not right, wrong, or acceptable for a slave, and that my Master only goes along with these ideas. it would be funny if it were not so insulting.

i am well aware that a great deal of Masters do not wish their slave to be utterly dependent on them, that they want someone who is functional and capable without them, and i've never felt anything was wrong with that. there are certainly plenty of submissives out there who can fit those molds. however there is nothing wrong with a Master desiring something different, a different sort of slave, a different sort of dynamic. fortunately for me, someone found me, with all my differentness, valuable and desireable.

when you say, "refusing to accept the possibility of handling finances", as if i am in some way ruling my own fate and making demands, or imposing limits, you fail to recognize the fact that my Master wishes me to refuse to accept such a possibility. just as he wishes me to refuse to accept the possibility of giving him a spanking (if so ordered) or submitting to a female (if so ordered), or anything else which is contrary to what he wants and needs of a slave. He wishes me to refuse to accept such possibilities, because as far as he is concerned, they are not possibilities. for me to then act or think otherwise would be a direct defiance of and disregard for his will.

does this then mean that he only makes demands of me that i find easy or pleasing? not hardly. whether or not i find something easy or pleasing has never been a factor for him in laying out his commands. and yes, i am obedient. perfect? no where near (i'm probably punished far more than most). but obedient, yes. He will not accept willful disobedience, he will not accept obedience with hesitation and/or questions, therefore i am obedient. that does not mean it is easy, or that i do not struggle and suffer at times, that i do not think that it will be impossible for me to succeed at something or bear something. but time and again he has helped me to see that yes, i can do it, and yes, i can bear it. as the tired old cliche goes, no pain, no gain.

 

[the captians wench]

I don't think finances should be left up to the schools to teach. Instead, they should be taught from a very young age by the parent(s)/guardian(s). The number of people who fail to talk to their kids in-depth about money is ridiculous; part of raising a kid to be a self-sufficient, productive member of society is teaching them how to care for their finances and be responsible with money.

When I was 5 or so, I got my first bank account. Every time I got money as a gift or selling lemonade or whatever, my mom taught me how to deposit at least 10%, and I had to save for big things I wanted, like games and a TV. When I was 11, and my parents divorced, Mom and I sat down and made a monthly budget together. She also taught me about investing and how to use credit cards properly/responsibly. She had me help her pay bills and write out checks for years so I knew how much it cost to live and how to do it when I got my own checking account at 14 or so. She never hid how much she made or we spent, and that helped me understand it was important to be careful with money. I had to get a job as I approached 16 to pay for my own insurance, gas and car repairs, as well as luxuries, not because we needed the money, but because it taught me responsibility and budgeting.

We did learn some budgeting and check writing in school, but that wasn't all that helpful. If my parents hadn't taught me about money, I'd probably be in debt right now, instead of a homeowner with a perfect credit score for my age. My husband's parents did a good job with him, too, and it's helped make our lives a lot better/easier than if they'd left it up to the school system.

My experience wasn't quite so in-depth, but simular.

For as long as I can remember my mom took me with her to do all the bill paying and groceryshopping. At a young age, 5 or so, she would have me keep track of how much we spent while shopping, and how close we were to our budget. Later she started showing me the full budget and what went where, how to move things around a bit if you need more money for food or some sort of unexpected expence comes up. We lived very tightly, and so I learned how to keep every utility happy, and when to pay things out right.

She's not great with money, so she's never had a credit card. But she did manage a family of 4 on a $25k a year income. My step dad was on ss, so we'd get an extra $600 from that, but after he paid the phone and cable he was pretty much given the rest of that money to spend as he wished. This is what they had worked out to sort of keep him from feeling like he wasn't as ....manly I guess.

But because of her early teachings, and my love for numbers I've managed pretty well, even thru a few life altering events all in a 6 month period. It's taken me another 6 months, but all of the bills are caught up and now the savings for a new car is starting, then a well deserved trip.

 

[LordHawk]

I don't think finances should be left up to the schools to teach. Instead, they should be taught from a very young age by the parent(s)/guardian(s). The number of people who fail to talk to their kids in-depth about money is ridiculous; part of raising a kid to be a self-sufficient, productive member of society is teaching them how to care for their finances and be responsible with money.

When I was 5 or so, I got my first bank account. Every time I got money as a gift or selling lemonade or whatever, my mom taught me how to deposit at least 10%, and I had to save for big things I wanted, like games and a TV. When I was 11, and my parents divorced, Mom and I sat down and made a monthly budget together. She also taught me about investing and how to use credit cards properly/responsibly. She had me help her pay bills and write out checks for years so I knew how much it cost to live and how to do it when I got my own checking account at 14 or so. She never hid how much she made or we spent, and that helped me understand it was important to be careful with money. I had to get a job as I approached 16 to pay for my own insurance, gas and car repairs, as well as luxuries, not because we needed the money, but because it taught me responsibility and budgeting.

We did learn some budgeting and check writing in school, but that wasn't all that helpful. If my parents hadn't taught me about money, I'd probably be in debt right now, instead of a homeowner with a perfect credit score for my age. My husband's parents did a good job with him, too, and it's helped make our lives a lot better/easier than if they'd left it up to the school system.

No, it shouldn't be left up to the schools. But with so many other things, a lot of parents either can't or don't want to have to teach their own children. My parents could have taught me how to write a check and balance the checkbook but that is only a small amount of handling your finances. They don't know much about finances their own self, maybe its from coming from a poor background where the only thing that mattered was how much money you had? Now I find myself interested in finances and investing and business, so perhaps I'll be able to turn the family fortunes around.

 

[catalina_francisco]

for some reason Catalina, you seem to be incapable of engaging in a respectful or even courteous, intelligent discussion with or about me. you also seem to have the idea stuck in your head that i alone define what is and is not right, wrong, or acceptable for a slave, and that my Master only goes along with these ideas. it would be funny if it were not so insulting.

No, I just like to look at all aspects within the realm of a discussion. For me it occurs to me that while a service may not be required, it may not be impossible if at some times it then becomes a requirement. I don't think I have been discourteous in posing how that then effects the path of submission and whether maintaining inability overrules the need to serve in a way which may not be our ideal or have been previously required. We all have different ways of doing it, and we all know sometimes necessity becomes the director of changes we didn't anticipate.

Catalina

 

[leavessnailtrails]

thanks

Wow lovely people,
It has been a while since I started this thread, and I had not checked it in a while. Now I feel the need for following a speed-reading course, just to check all of your responses-- very necessary.
I just wanted to thank you all for being so open, informative, and talkative (is that even a word?) on this subject.
I respect all of your different situations, and have learned much from your discussions on the topic.
Consider this a thank you note, for being who YOU are.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Wow lovely people,
It has been a while since I started this thread, and I had not checked it in a while. Now I feel the need for following a speed-reading course, just to check all of your responses-- very necessary.
I just wanted to thank you all for being so open, informative, and talkative (is that even a word?) on this subject.
I respect all of your different situations, and have learned much from your discussions on the topic.
Consider this a thank you note, for being who YOU are.

no thanks needed, but you're very welcome it was a good question and i love threads that invoke so much discussion..thank YOU for starting the thread