First Time

[Kailey_86]

Goofy is good and I like curvy.

 

[Bandit58]

Thanks for clearing that up. I swear I've never learned so much about a subject in such a short period of time. My mind is about to explode and I am sooo looking forward to putting the things I learned into action.

Sub Frenzies

Please read, and be careful

I remember my first scene with Master - a simple blowjob, but the way He held my hair in His fist and growled at me "Take it deeper slut" sent shivers right through me.

 

[Kailey_86]

Ahhh!!!! I visited the Sub Frenzies link and that pretty much sums up what I am feeling. It says..."It can leave them irrational, willing to make poor decisions, rash, impulsive and generally stupid." I am stupid right now. It's a scary feeling really. I want to find a dom as soon as possible as the article suggests but now matter how much I want it I won't be able to have it at the moment anyway. I don't think I will be able to find one right now given my circumstance and I don't think that I am in the right place in my life for one anyway. Thank you. Knowing exactly what it is that I am going through has made me more aware of my actions. I will be cautious.

 

[sir_lancealot]

Subs website is perfect.

have just spent the last 20 mimnuets going through it. As a Dom Man I find it amazing and strangely true.

Your mind is the best sexual foreplay. Tease the mind and the body will follow willingly

 

[sir_lancealot]

Also PLUMP is perfect..

Not FAT but just plump, great breasts and a confident women full of life. Just what any doctor would order.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have found that fat is in the eye of the beholder.
Eb

 

[Kailey_86]

I have found that fat is in the eye of the beholder.
Eb

I agree.

Not FAT but just plump, great breasts and a confident women full of life. Just what any doctor would order.

It depends on whether you are a breast guy or an ass man.

 

[junny25]

I think it is necessary to be typed experience. IMHO

 

[cobra2006]

Desire

I am very interested in being a submissive but I am a little nervous. I fantasize about it but I don't know if I would be able to do it in real life. I am in a constant state of arousal just thinking about my nonexistent master. Being a plump girl I am self-consious about my body though. In general I am a shy person. I have always been interested in this lifestyle. I was using belts and such even before I knew what masturbation was. I am still a virgin and I don't just mean I am new to being a submissive. I have never had sex before. You could say I am somewhat naive. I have been reading a lot about the lifestyle though and would love to be a part of it.

Do you think that I should wait until I have more experience?

Being a virgin, I am curious about how people met their first masters or submissives. How did you meet? Where did you meet? What was your first session like? What was it like when you weren't in a scene? Were you apprehensive at first?

Any other advice?

I've been Master status for 5 yrs now and my first sub I met online. After she felt comfortable with me, we began using the phone and she would follow my instructions to the point of near extreame demands. We met real time and had the greatest week of our sexual lives. She has gone on to another Master and I'm happy for her. I was her first. The important message here for you little one is don't let life go by without fullfillinig your fantacies with someone you trust. Trust is the key for you. Best of luck.

 

[Kailey_86]

I've been Master status for 5 yrs now and my first sub I met online. After she felt comfortable with me, we began using the phone and she would follow my instructions to the point of near extreame demands. We met real time and had the greatest week of our sexual lives. She has gone on to another Master and I'm happy for her. I was her first. The important message here for you little one is don't let life go by without fullfillinig your fantacies with someone you trust. Trust is the key for you. Best of luck.

I don't know what it is but something about your message was comforting and reassuring. Maybe it's the fact that yolu called me little one. *Dreamy Smile* Anyway, thank you for your support and advice.

 

[cobra2006]

Same name

I don't know what it is but something about your message was comforting and reassuring. Maybe it's the fact that yolu called me little one. *Dreamy Smile* Anyway, thank you for your support and advice.

It brought a knowing smile to my lips knowing I touched a part of your soul for a brief moment in time. When she asked me to give her a name it was Kalie. Odd, huh? My word, same name, different spelling. She was my favorite. Kalie had the same fears and indecison on what path to take, same as you are feeling. Be positive and enjoy.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Ahhh!!!! I visited the Sub Frenzies link and that pretty much sums up what I am feeling. It says..."It can leave them irrational, willing to make poor decisions, rash, impulsive and generally stupid." I am stupid right now. It's a scary feeling really. I want to find a dom as soon as possible as the article suggests but now matter how much I want it I won't be able to have it at the moment anyway. I don't think I will be able to find one right now given my circumstance and I don't think that I am in the right place in my life for one anyway. Thank you. Knowing exactly what it is that I am going through has made me more aware of my actions. I will be cautious.

Ohhh I better read that article, tell me it doesn't suggest that you find a 'Dom' as soon as possible as a 'cure' for submissive frenzy and that I read your statement wrong ......more that it suggests/confirms you have a very strong drive or a drawn towards Dominants which you concur with

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I don't know what it is but something about your message was comforting and reassuring. Maybe it's the fact that you called me little one. *Dreamy Smile* Anyway, thank you for your support and advice.

Wish I could muster the response to 'little one' as you have Kailey. Perhaps I have grown cynical over the years as I am very wary of being addressed in that manner by a Dominant that's not extremely well known to me. Almost the flip-side of automatically calling a Dominant 'Sir' when that person is unknown to you and has not earned the 'status' .

 

[Kailey_86]

Ohhh I better read that article, tell me it doesn't suggest that you find a 'Dom' as soon as possible as a 'cure' for submissive frenzy and that I read your statement wrong ......more that it suggests/confirms you have a very strong drive or a drawn towards Dominants which you concur with

This is definately not what I got from the article. It just explains what I am feeling: a deep longing and a sudden understanding for what is, and has always been, right for me.

Wish I could muster the response to 'little one' as you have Kailey. Perhaps I have grown cynical over the years as I am very wary of being addressed in that manner by a Dominant that's not extremely well known to me. Almost the flip-side of automatically calling a Dominant 'Sir' when that person is unknown to you and has not earned the 'status' .

I have always liked being called "little one," "sweetie," "darling," and the like. It doesn't matter who it's from. I don't really connect it with calling an unknown Dom "sir." I connect it with kindness and understanding. Maybe someday I will connect it with a Dom but right now it just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I feel like I am being "taken care of" or "watched out for" in a way. It's comforting.

 

[JMohegan]

I have always liked being called "little one," "sweetie," "darling," and the like. It doesn't matter who it's from. I don't really connect it with calling an unknown Dom "sir." I connect it with kindness and understanding. Maybe someday I will connect it with a Dom but right now it just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I feel like I am being "taken care of" or "watched out for" in a way. It's comforting.

You like what you like, and there is no criticism in what I am about to say. Just a cautionary note.

In my opinion, the wariness expressed by Rebecca is wise.

There are men in general, and Doms in particular, who feel a responsibility to extend a certain protectiveness to those who are perceived to be in need of protection at any given point in time. However, these are very rarely the guys who throw out terms of endearment without cause.

I do not know Cobra, and mean no disrespect for him with my comments. Just a general cautionary note here. That's all.

 

[CutieMouse]

I have always liked being called "little one," "sweetie," "darling," and the like. It doesn't matter who it's from. I don't really connect it with calling an unknown Dom "sir." I connect it with kindness and understanding. Maybe someday I will connect it with a Dom but right now it just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I feel like I am being "taken care of" or "watched out for" in a way. It's comforting.

I can see both your and Rebecca's views, and fall somewhere in the middle (leaning strongly towards Rebecca).

I get the warm snuggly feeling of hearing a term of endearment from a gentleman. There can be an unexplainable tingly swell in the pit of your stomach... a warm sigh of belonging. I totally get where Kailey is coming from.

I've also grown up in the south- terms of endearment are just Life, here. Hell the checkout girl at the grocery store calls me Sugar.

However, as I've grown older, and explored the world of BDSM a bit, I've found my tolerance for being addressed by a term I can only call a "pet name", from someone who is in the Lifestyle, but doesn't know me from Eve? Honey, Little One, Sweetheart, Daring, Sugar, Baby, Dear, etc- especially prior to the development of a friendship/relationship- leave me with a raised eyebrow, and intense desire to flip someone's ass. That isn't to say it is always inappropriate language... there are 3 or 4 men on the forums that I can think of, whom I'd be perfectly okay with hearing a casual endearment from- but that is because we've "known" each other for a while.

While I would not be so bold (or rude) as to say that Cobra2006's intent was less than honorable, there are dominants out there, who understand how a submissive soul is impacted, by dropping little pet names into conversation, and will use that to their advantage. Make sense?

Be wise- control your emotions as best you can, and play smart.

 

[kitty4ever]

Be wise- control your emotions as best you can, and play smart.

Some of the best advice that I've seen.

Here is another sub site that I like and often read.

subSpace

 

[cobra2006]

I can see both your and Rebecca's views, and fall somewhere in the middle (leaning strongly towards Rebecca).

I get the warm snuggly feeling of hearing a term of endearment from a gentleman. There can be an unexplainable tingly swell in the pit of your stomach... a warm sigh of belonging. I totally get where Kailey is coming from.

I've also grown up in the south- terms of endearment are just Life, here. Hell the checkout girl at the grocery store calls me Sugar.

However, as I've grown older, and explored the world of BDSM a bit, I've found my tolerance for being addressed by a term I can only call a "pet name", from someone who is in the Lifestyle, but doesn't know me from Eve? Honey, Little One, Sweetheart, Daring, Sugar, Baby, Dear, etc- especially prior to the development of a friendship/relationship- leave me with a raised eyebrow, and intense desire to flip someone's ass. That isn't to say it is always inappropriate language... there are 3 or 4 men on the forums that I can think of, whom I'd be perfectly okay with hearing a casual endearment from- but that is because we've "known" each other for a while.

While I would not be so bold (or rude) as to say that Cobra2006's intent was less than honorable, there are dominants out there, who understand how a submissive soul is impacted, by dropping little pet names into conversation, and will use that to their advantage. Make sense?

Be wise- control your emotions as best you can, and play smart.

For those responding to Kailey's inocent comment about me using the term "little one": All comments were taken as intended and that being to offer solid advice to Kailey. The fact no one in this forum knows of Me is a non issue. My advice and method of communicating to her is not valued by how many "locals" visit this site. Bottom line, I wish Kailey and all others in their cross-over stage of this chosen lifestyle all the best. One fact I know, Kailey will join this lifestyle and be rewarded with the pleasures it brings. Although fairly young, she is wise and intune with her inner self.It is part of her, perhaps buried deeply within, regardless, it is there.

 

[FluteMaster]

Another word

For those responding to Kailey's inocent comment about me using the term "little one": All comments were taken as intended and that being to offer solid advice to Kailey. The fact no one in this forum knows of Me is a non issue. My advice and method of communicating to her is not valued by how many "locals" visit this site. Bottom line, I wish Kailey and all others in their cross-over stage of this chosen lifestyle all the best. One fact I know, Kailey will join this lifestyle and be rewarded with the pleasures it brings. Although fairly young, she is wise and intune with her inner self.It is part of her, perhaps buried deeply within, regardless, it is there.

I hope that this thread is still being read - cos it is an absolute goldmine of advice for beginners (on both sides of the divide!!)

I have difficulties fully understanding myself as a dom (lol), and the empathy to "see" the world from a subs point of view takes a lot of serious thinking. Add in safe words and limits, and you can se the potential for getting it wrong. What is amazing is how many get it right.

On the other hand, I'm a late entry to the scene (at least in terms of conciously acknowledging it to myself), and I had to overcome a lot of self inflicted prejudice. I have also been gifted with a sub who is also new and we have taught each other a moutain of things - though it's a Long Distance thing. Even so, we both had our BS filters going full blast at the beginning.

So - to all you newbies (and experienced in betweeners) I wish you all the best.

btw - with relation to plump etc - my moto is "The most powerful aphrodisiac is a passionate woman full of desire".

If you can connect in the mind (and I mean really connect at different levels of emotion and understanding- not just tingle a bit) and can establish confidence built on real trust - then you're on the right track.

lol - I'll climb off my soap box now.

 

[nowgirl]

i think that since kailey started this thread way back when, she's in a different place now, but i've seen lots of questions from others searching for something in the D/s world & thought i'd bump this for the good advice it gives.

nowgirl

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

i think that since kailey started this thread way back when, she's in a different place now, but i've seen lots of questions from others searching for something in the D/s world & thought i'd bump this for the good advice it gives.

nowgirl

"way back when" ............08-30-2006, 03:35 PM

 

[wouldloveto]

And I thank you for the bump...

i think that since kailey started this thread way back when, she's in a different place now, but i've seen lots of questions from others searching for something in the D/s world & thought i'd bump this for the good advice it gives.

nowgirl

I am a male that has a desire to submit to a domme. I have had one brief but very exciting experience on the bottom. Previous to that my limited experience was topping the woman that introduced me to all this.

I long to find the woman that can show me what I am all about!

 

[Kailey_86]

Wow! i forgot that i posted this thread. i've learned and changed A LOT since i started it way back when. It's amazing how much a person can change in just a short period of time. i hope this helps some people.

 

[slavin]

"I'm curious how you came to making a leap from 0-100, meaning being a vanilla virgin so to speak and then showing an interest in BDSM.
That's an awfully big jump."

Hardly, I had an interest in BDSM when I was twelve. I wouldn't call it going from zero to hundred. I'd call it being a sexual creature and encountering something that arouses you.

I agree. Sex and BDSM have always existed together in my fantasies, even as a child. When I met my owner I was a virgin in both areas. To me the combination of sex and BDSM was very natural and it has never felt like a leap from 0-100.

 

[nowgirl]

"way back when" ............08-30-2006, 03:35 PM

LOL - well - in Lit time.... it's a long long time ago...