Forced bisexuality

[Shadowsdream]

Well, I'm your typical bi-curious college student. But the only thing I've done was make out with a few of my female friends when we were both very drunk. So if Tyler brought a girl home one day and "forced" me to do xyz, I think I'd be thrilled, then again I have no experience to speak from so I could be wrong.

~~smile~~ hello Liana

I would say that form of "forced" would be a role play on both sides which continues to make Me ask....is "forced" really just role play...in fact if the issue was really "forced" against ones will...would it not then enter abuse? I am sure there could be dozens of ways of looking at this statement as well!

Thank you for adding your voice to this interesting conversation.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Thank you beastie girl...it is a clip from My pilot.

Pilot? as in film of the woman who turns me into a pile of wet mushy stuff on the floor just by her posting a thread? Well anyway..here is my weirdness for you.
Bi-sexual doesnt mean a whole lot to me....when it comes to attraction. Dominant people make me melt, there is where my attraction is. Male or female makes no difference to me.
My first experience with another woman was forced...brutally... by a dominant and i loved it. I never had issues with it after that, it didnt matter when it was for the one who owned me.
I dont know if i would seek out a woman for a lover, but i would adore being owned by a dominant woman. It kinda confuses me because i dont know if that makes me bi-sexual or not. So now that i've confused you....what do you think?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Pilot? as in film of the woman who turns me into a pile of wet mushy stuff on the floor just by her posting a thread? Well anyway..here is my weirdness for you.
Bi-sexual doesnt mean a whole lot to me....when it comes to attraction. Dominant people make me melt, there is where my attraction is. Male or female makes no difference to me.
My first experience with another woman was forced...brutally... by a dominant and i loved it. I never had issues with it after that, it didnt matter when it was for the one who owned me.
I dont know if i would seek out a woman for a lover, but i would adore being owned by a dominant woman. It kinda confuses me because i dont know if that makes me bi-sexual or not. So now that i've confused you....what do you think?

Yes pilot as in film...

Being attracted to a Dominant Woman does not make you bisexual but I would suspect makes you submissive to either gender.

Now I think you have given a good example of forced bisexuality and so have confirmed that it can and does exist. Now what I like about this example is that the "forcing" was not your kink but His.

My confusion and inability to accept the idea most times is the frequent requests or fantasies that "belong" to the submissive or slave and the fact that in many of those scenes the Dominant is simply role playing the reality. I suppose I gave issues with the honesty of the word in that context.

 

[sunfox]

Hello sunfox...thank you for joining the conversation!

Would you feel that you were being forced or that you were obeying? If you felt you were being set up to fail would that not begin a trust issue?

I hope you don't mind these extra probing questions.

I think it would feel more like obeying than force, so long as the woman didn't intimidate me or make me uncomfortable. If I was fearful or uneasy around the person, I think then it would be force.

I do think that feeling set up to fail would make me very unhappy.. like no matter what I do, I won't complete the task. The problem for me is being personally satisfied with my obedience.. I doubt C would feel I had failed him, but -I- would feel that I had if I was unhappy with the job I had done, if that makes sense. I am my own worst critic, by far.

I don't mind the extra questions at all, Ma'am.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Yes pilot as in film...

Being attracted to a Dominant Woman does not make you bisexual but I would suspect makes you submissive to either gender.

Now I think you have given a good example of forced bisexuality and so have confirmed that it can and does exist. Now what I like about this example is that the "forcing" was not your kink but His.

My confusion and inability to accept the idea most times is the frequent requests or fantasies that "belong" to the submissive or slave and the fact that in many of those scenes the Dominant is simply role playing the reality. I suppose I gave issues with the honesty of the word in that context.

For me as a sub, knowing a dominant was doing it because its something i fantasize would make me close up and retreat...sort of mentally run away (which i tend to do when i feel guilty for having wants), then it would just end up in a big mess all around.

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

Being Bi I can't really say what it would be like if I tested my boundries in such a fashion because I've yet to have that issue... I've done things to please my boyfriends in the past.. I use the word boyfriends because it was not an acknowledged D/s relationship. But in many manners I was very submissive 'specially in the bedroom to his wants and desires.

I just don't step into a room with someone I don't desire in some form or fashion.. like many other voices.. I feel like teh entire thing is cheated if there isn't desire there.

but when I've topped other women bi-sexuality or bi-curiouse was a prerequisite.. Men can be either way.. I can't really imagine myself topping a male in any form or fashion, So I couldn't really care less... but with other women I prefer them bi.. not straight.. not gay... an open book.

 

[Caitlynne]

For me as a sub, knowing a dominant was doing it because its something i fantasize would make me close up and retreat...sort of mentally run away (which i tend to do when i feel guilty for having wants), then it would just end up in a big mess all around.

Oh this is a big BINGO! I agree 100%. I need to know that a Dominant is doing exactly what they want. If I begin to think it is just for me, I worry about my responses, I worry about taking his time with my silly needs/wants... the guilt is overwhelming and I end up not enjoying whatever it is anyway. Like you stated, it ends up a big mess.

 

[caryMK]

Yes pilot as in film...

Being attracted to a Dominant Woman does not make you bisexual but I would suspect makes you submissive to either gender.

Now I think you have given a good example of forced bisexuality and so have confirmed that it can and does exist. Now what I like about this example is that the "forcing" was not your kink but His.

My confusion and inability to accept the idea most times is the frequent requests or fantasies that "belong" to the submissive or slave and the fact that in many of those scenes the Dominant is simply role playing the reality. I suppose I gave issues with the honesty of the word in that context.

i hesitate to put my 2 cents in here, because i'm new to posting to the boards <not to D/s or BDSM, though>.....

i am only submissive to Master, and those He chooses me to serve- i am not 'turned on' by a Dominant Woman, but i suppose there was curiousity.

i may have fantasies that MK has learned through discussion or what sites/pictures/stories i view... but when He has "role played" scenes that He has chosen for me to experience, it was to push my experiences farther, to test the boundaries and limits that i imagined i had. He would not set a scene up that wasn't something He wanted - whether i wanted it or not. If He chooses to do something to please me, it is because it would please Him to do so.

MK wanted to see me with another female. She was not Dominant, nor was she in the BDSM lifestyle at all - it was very vanilla. ... and maybe i wasn't *forced*, but i was confronted with being obedient to Him or safewording it. As i would not safeword unless i was in serious danger, and He knows it, it could be construed as "force".

Then again - i am His slave. It does not matter what He wants done (do i really have to interject 'within sanity and safety'?) - it is simply His will being obeyed. Can that be force, when i do not hesitate (unless i desire punishment) to do that which pleases Him? His order is not debatable, there are no gray areas.

i suppose this is like everything else in life - personal interpretation of the word based on the place in your life where you're experiencing it. But i do love the sharing of how people see things from their standpoint - the best way to learn, imo!

cary[MK]

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hello Catalina and thank you for adding your voice to this conversation.

Am I understanding you correctly....that being given an order that goes against the natural desire would be considered forced?

Not necessarily, though I do think if there are strong aversions to carrying out the order which go beyond simply not wanting to, there is good reason to reassess the situation and whether the carrying out of the order (through force, co-ercion, or manipulation of the sub's desire to please) is more important than the psychological welfare of the sub. I think for many there is the idea that it is no big deal and should not raise issues for an obedient sub, but if it were that easy to be sexually active with just anyone there would be no such thing as rape, nor the long lasting damage it can produce.

I am aware it is probably not regarded by most as exactly the same situation, but in essence if it is an act which is going to cause psychological damage or for some violent physical reactions (such as vomiting etc.), it is not that far removed to place another in that situation. I guess what stood out for me (and I am bi) is that many seemed to have the view it was about obedience only, and that if you were already bisexual what was going to be the big deal about complying. For me it is like saying a heterosexual or gay person can unaffectedly have sex with anyone of their gender preference which once again minimises rape as a real issue unless between groups of opposing sexuality choices. I know in my own instance for reasons other than purely attraction, though that is part of it also, the thought of being expected to go through with a sexual act with a woman to whom I had a strong reaction against could possibly result in long term damage. Not all will feel tha same, but I have my reasons and I suspect I am not the only one who could risk serious damage in an effort to please.

Catalina

 

[Shadowsdream]

Not necessarily, though I do think if there are strong aversions to carrying out the order which go beyond simply not wanting to, there is good reason to reassess the situation and whether the carrying out of the order (through force, co-ercion, or manipulation of the sub's desire to please) is more important than the psychological welfare of the sub. I think for many there is the idea that it is no big deal and should not raise issues for an obedient sub, but if it were that easy to be sexually active with just anyone there would be no such thing as rape, nor the long lasting damage it can produce.

I am aware it is probably not regarded by most as exactly the same situation, but in essence if it is an act which is going to cause psychological damage or for some violent physical reactions (such as vomiting etc.), it is not that far removed to place another in that situation. I guess what stood out for me (and I am bi) is that many seemed to have the view it was about obedience only, and that if you were already bisexual what was going to be the big deal about complying. For me it is like saying a heterosexual or gay person can unaffectedly have sex with anyone of their gender preference which once again minimises rape as a real issue unless between groups of opposing sexuality choices. I know in my own instance for reasons other than purely attraction, though that is part of it also, the thought of being expected to go through with a sexual act with a woman to whom I had a strong reaction against could possibly result in long term damage. Not all will feel tha same, but I have my reasons and I suspect I am not the only one who could risk serious damage in an effort to please.

Catalina

Hello Catalina

Thank you for giving more information to explain your feelings on forced bisexuality. Of course there are no right or wrong answers but simply many ways to look at a question. Through the diversity of opinions many new to BDSM or D/s will find a hint here and there that matches at least a little of their own beliefs before during or after such a scenerio or fantasy.

 

[Liana26]

~~smile~~ hello Liana

I would say that form of "forced" would be a role play on both sides which continues to make Me ask....is "forced" really just role play...in fact if the issue was really "forced" against ones will...would it not then enter abuse? I am sure there could be dozens of ways of looking at this statement as well!

Thank you for adding your voice to this interesting conversation.

Yes, the "forced" I'm talking about would definately be role play. If I was really forced to do anything with anyone I'd consider that rape and I think I'd be traumatized for a good while.

 

[sunfox]

I guess what stood out for me (and I am bi) is that many seemed to have the view it was about obedience only, and that if you were already bisexual what was going to be the big deal about complying. For me it is like saying a heterosexual or gay person can unaffectedly have sex with anyone of their gender preference which once again minimises rape as a real issue unless between groups of opposing sexuality choices. I know in my own instance for reasons other than purely attraction, though that is part of it also, the thought of being expected to go through with a sexual act with a woman to whom I had a strong reaction against could possibly result in long term damage. Not all will feel tha same, but I have my reasons and I suspect I am not the only one who could risk serious damage in an effort to please.

Catalina

I think this is what a lot of it boils down to... I am not bisexual, but sex with other women isn't off the table because of that, it's mostly off the table for us because it would take such a particular situation and person to make me comfortable with it to the extent that I could do it and not damage myself emotionally/mentally that it's not worth it to us.

By damage myself, I mean that it would bother me to feel I had done a poor job at it, which I assuredly would if only by lacking true desire for the woman, and I tend to let things eat at me and fester inside... which is very unhealthy, to say the least, and small things can really bug me. Also, the issue of being unattracted, though C and I have similar opinions on what is attractive physically and mentally in women, is a big concern, because of course you will not be attracted to every woman/man, bisexual or not.

This is, I think, a complex issue.

 

[catalina_francisco]

This is, I think, a complex issue.

I agree....and I also find in my own personal situation it may also be something which is a progressive change related to growing and changing as a person in many ways. In my youth, and even into my late 30's, I really had a varied sex life....so varied in fact I lost count decades ago of how many men I have had sex with. In those times it really didn't bother me to have sex with someone I barely knew or wasn't even particularly attracted to....it just would happen if the moment was right. I also had a fairly set type of woman I was strongly attracted to and there just was no straying in other directions of interest in that camp....it was strong and predictable. Hmmmm, well now I find a wide variety of women extremely attractive, and there is no way of predicting as even with 2 who might be almost twins, one will be attractive while the other isn't even close. Then with men, I have far more difficulty being intimate with most men, especially some I once would have thought myself fortunate to even have the chance with. It is also not predictable. Add to that it is far easier despite the changes to contemplate sex with someone male I am not in the slightest attracted to but he wishes for me to please than it is to contemplate the same situation with a woman he might choose for me. I think I have a fairly good idea of how it could be possible to navigate without damage, and we are working toward it continuously, but still it is complex. I expect a big part of the problem is traceable back to negative life experiences I have had with women.....even men who have treated me badly in one way or another have not had the power to generate such an aversion as women have...seems overall I can understand and relate to men far more easily than I can other women.

Catalina

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Whats the draw?

Can one really be forced to perform in a sexual way with the same gender or is forced bi-sexuality just another way of saying..."set it up for me and take away my guilt?"

Anyone for a new conversation?

For me: back when I trained straight boys who were just so utterly soft and delicious that the thought of them with another guy could make me melt, I gave long hard thought to wanting to set the scene, the desire to control, to know that in the end it was all about me..NOT them, me.

Of course, I managed to make that particular fantasy come to life and one thing I have come to realize during my treks in and out of Dominance/submission is that in the end ... if it's really FORCED than it's not what I want. There has to be the desire to please ME, to give me what I want. It is never really about them at that point, whether they get off on it or not has absolutely no bearing.

Basically, truly forcing someone to give ME that thing would end all of my idealistic fantasies about it. In most cases the boys didn't do it because they secretly yearned for it, they did it to please me...and really isn't that all there is??

(For the record..I am bi-amorous, not bisexual. It's not the gender but the love that draws me in...)

 

[slaveskinky]

Forced Bi

Forced Bi Relationship
I write this from my own experience and do not propose it is the same for all.
Upon meeting my future Master I knew from the start he wanted more than one female in our relationship, in fact he had made it clear this would be required. I am sure he thought in time, I would come to not only love it but also, come to need it as I did his attentions. This never happened. I was not into women as sexual partners nor did I need them for any emotional satisfaction other than a “normal” friendship. This is why I never kissed or cuddled with any that came into our poly household. In fact I couldn’t stand the thought of kissing a woman on the mouth for sexual pleasure. I would say my sexual interaction with females was mechanical. I could play with her in sexual ways (pussy play, nipple play getting her off) but I had no over whelming need nor did I derive any pleasure in doing so. There were times that I did have orgasm but being stimulated will of course bring a reaction but I did not need it. I could have done without it. I did it solely to please Biker. Of course I enjoyed any sexual pleasure I got from these relationships but never was I in need of any emotional connection from them as I did from my Master. One might say I was acting a role but inside I was totally detached. To be honest, I hoped he would decide I was enough for him, how very naïve of me. So when the time came to have other females I knew I must submit to it or be tossed out. I learned to submit but never to need or desire it.
slave
Watch for the full piece to be posted under... A slave's Journey

 

[SweetDommes]

You pretty much nailed it, in my experience, it's like "forced" feminization, basically a way to feel less responsible for a taboo desire.

I agree with this to a point - if it is an interest of theirs, then yes ... it's something that they want, but they don't really want to admit it ...

However, if it's something like with ghosst - he isn't interested, but he'll do it if it makes us happy - then I don't think it's just a way to feel less responsible for a taboo desire. He doesn't desire it, taboo or not ... but will he do it? most likely. will he be happy about it? only to the point that it pleases us ...

Oh, and aeroil ... "prefer" does not mean "require" ... especially since it says in the same line that it is not required ...

 

[Aeroil]

*sighs* I know Karen, that's just the impression I got, there is a high percentage of bi male subs out there, you said you preferred your pets to be bi, and there were two males living in your house. can you say "all signs point to yes"? lol

 

[SweetDommes]

*sighs* I know karen, that's just the impression I got, there is a high percentage of bi male subs out there, you said you preferred your pets to be bi, and there were two males living in your house. can you say "all signs point to yes"? lol

yeah, I can say it ... but in reality, all signs in our house point to 'probably' ... and I really prefer that you capitalize my name ... thanks.

 

[Aeroil]

my apologies Karen, I'm not in the best mood tonight, normally I would check for things like that, and yeah probably would be a better word I guess.

 

[bronntanas]

Newber checking in...

First off, FINE av, Ms Shadowsdream. Okay, now that's off my chest and I can think again, I hope! (Some of the fine avs over here are most distracting!)

I'm kind of in a weird place. I'm a bi male; so "forced" bi isn't really an issue for me. I've not been with a guy yet, (but I'm working on remedying the situation.) though. While I can see myself subbing to a man, it's more probable that I'd be subbing to a woman. So, if my theoretical Domme "forced" me to pleasure a man, I'd do the best I can, but is it really force when on some level, I like guys? I'm not saying Dom's are a no go, but judging by my fantasies, my erotic landscape it's more likely to be a female. So if a Domme brought in another male, it wouldn't really be forced, but it would sort of be.

On another level, I frequently have problems switching gears, sexually. This is where the "force" thing comes in. I fantasize about men, and I fantasize about women, and I fantasize about men and women and myself altogether. But if I'm in a certain mindset, say I'm masturbating to the thought of a sexy lady and suddenly I think "no, I think I'll make it Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome instead." I frequently have to go back to the beginning and start over. So, if I was with a Domme and she suddenly said "Meet my evil twin Dom." and in walks this guy, I'd need to take a moment to regroup, refocus. I'd still do my damnedest to please them, because I think my innate desire to be of service would over-ride the internal stuff. Which negates the "force" issue again. I think. But then again, I haven't tried that yet, so I don't know.

I hope that made some sort of odd sense.