Free clue for dreamland candyass wannbe Doms

[Netzach]

I don't know what the point is now. I'm glad you could make it, your trip was certainly longer than mine and obviously something you felt very important. I rarely get to travel at all, unfortunately this makes me very selective and kind of limited to going home and back, and not as often as I'd like. It's been about 2 years. If I'm lucky I might get to Ms. Leather this year if they put it in Omaha again.

 

[dragonhearted]

~sigh~

Can't we all just agree to disagree? Not every person is going to have the same opinion about what BDSM should be or what subs should be like. I think respect among all should be common sense. If a person does not like or welcome advances, they should feel free enough to express how they feel. I think the same holds true within the confines of any BDSM relationship. How one expresses his/herself depends on how he/she feels within the relationship. Some fear to express, for fear of punishment. Some do not fear to express, are heard and things either are or not adjusted accordingly. As long as the dom has control over himself and does not abuse the sub, there is no right or wrong relationship.

But...this is my opinion, and people are free to disagree!

 

[catalina_francisco]

What is it about open discussion and exchange of ideas that seems to threaten or frighten some people? To grow you have to challenge your preconceived notions, even if you don't change them...it should not be a scarry prospect, nor should it make anyone feel they have to rush in a try and stop dialogue between individuals. Maybe if the so called leaders of this world did a bit more talking and a lot less trying to silence and annihilate those who have a different view, we would not have so many die and be maimed senselessly in wars.

Catalina

 

[dragonhearted]

What is it about open discussion and exchange of ideas that seems to threaten or frighten some people? It should not be a scarry prospect, nor should it make anyone feel they have to rush in a try and stop dialogue between individuals. Maybe if the so called leaders of this world did a bit more talking and a lot less trying to silence and annihilate those who have a different view, we would not have so many die and be maimed senselessly in wars.

Catalina

um...I'm not trying to silence anyone. Or stop dialogue. It is just this "discussion" between you and Net. is resembling sniping and exchanging insults, not ideas. My apologies if it appeared I was trying to stifle any INTELLIGENT exchanges. If you did read the whole thing, you would have seen I said "But this is my opinion and people are free to disagree". Just to be clear, your above post SEEMED to indicate a misinterpretation of mine, not a disagreement.

 

[catalina_francisco]

um...I'm not trying to silence anyone. Or stop dialogue. It is just this "discussion" between you and Net. is resembling sniping and exchanging insults, not ideas. My apologies if it appeared I was trying to stifle any INTELLIGENT exchanges. If you did read the whole thing, you would have seen I said "But this is my opinion and people are free to disagree". Just to be clear, your above post SEEMED to indicate a misinterpretation of mine, not a disagreement.

OK Dragonhearted, I'm not going to bother commenting too much as I also don't want to stifle your íntellectual' posts. Must be going on the wrong threads on Lit but am sure as time passes we will get to know each other better as you obviously wish to contribute to the exchange otherwise why would you be posting. I am a little puzzled as to your former post to me on page 2 and this recent one as they seem to contradict each other. Welcome and feel free to share your thoughts on the topics.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

OK Dragonhearted, I'm not going to bother commenting too much ...

Catalina

In this particular case, Catalina, that is a good idea.

 

[dragonhearted]

Catalina and Net.

I can see valid points on both your sides. I did not mean to seem disagreeable. You are right Catalina, I am only trying to contribute...guess I get carried away trying to keep peace so the basic points can "come to fore". I think the BDSM lifestyle can enrich alot of people. We just need to find a way to make our feelings and opinions known without making other people out to be wrong for having them.

Gosh...hope I didn't offend anyone else here...

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... One of these is respecting the submissive of another unless invited otherwise....that is no touching, no suggestive talk, no courting. Another is for the submissive to allow her Dominant the right to protect her in a way he sees fit ... nor does it mean a submissive is a doormat unable to protect herself when needed and in the correct environment.

Dignity and respect come in many forms, often silently and unnoticed ... If someone wants to live in the vanilla world, fine, but don't try and bring those accepted norms into BDSM and pass them off as lifestyle norms and acceptable, even preferred behaviour, denigrating anyone who chooses to stick with the more traditional roles.

Catalina

Agreed, with minor options in some portions, and one comment, going back to the initial post.

Once you: the top, Dominant, Master of another, PYL, have been told by the person approached, "No," be gracious and walk away.

This has nothing to do with BDSM.

Common courtesy, (which you should have been taught, and if you weren't, learn) if not common sense, should ring a warning bell in your head.

If it doesn't, don't be surprised, nor offended when you come across someone that rings the bell a little louder for you.

 

[Guest]

Socially unacceptable

Agreed, with minor options in some portions, and one comment, going back to the initial post.

Once you: the top, Dominant, Master of another, PYL, have been told by the person approached, "No," be gracious and walk away.

This has nothing to do with BDSM.

Common courtesy, (which you should have been taught, and if you weren't, learn) if not common sense, should ring a warning bell in your head.

If it doesn't, don't be surprised, nor offended when you come across someone that rings the bell a little louder for you.

Ahem - admissions time.

In line with this thread -
I have only had one problem with someone that wouldn't take a polite "No" for an answer.
Years ago I was at a gathering with my Partner/sub - (She and I had a somewhat unique relationship. She was sub to me Domme to anyone else). When she was approached by a sub, who wished her to Domme him. Earlier (at another gathering) she had seen him without his shirt, and he had large bruises covering significant portions of his visible skin area. Asking about - well, he certainly missed the sane part of "Safe, Sane, and Consensual".
He also persisted in asking, to the point of being a real bother.
She spoke with me about this before we got to the party that night.
To make a long story short I found myself, at one point, (as we were walking through the crowd.) interposing myself between her and the approaching annoyance. Our eye's met and he turned and walked quickly away. Thereafter he made a wide circle around us.
I didn't realize till she spoke to me, that I was standing in a large group of people, perfectly ready and willing to unscrew someones head.

Not a good Idea, and, Not too smart.

In reality the worst thing I could have done to him was to let her have him - and give suggestions (perhaps even help).
the moral of the story however-
If you ask and get turned down -Be polite, accept it and leave quietly.
If you want to ask a couple - then ask the couple.

If you can't manage elementary courtesy, then stay out of public gatherings.

 

[Guest]

Editorial comment

Editorial comment on the previous............

Just for the record - this is an anecdote - and if I hadn't been running a fever I prob wouldn't have posted it. But, I said it, I'll take my lumps for it.

The thing I guess is - I'm not trying to put myself over as some type of ............whatever.

The operative part of it is (I guess) the Not smart, Not too good. As in I let my emotional response get the better of me in the (really ) wrong situation for it.
And in the end, I found that I was most angry because he had put me in that situation.
The only good part of it, is that it was resolved peacefully.

The world is full of wannabe badmen, right up there with wannabe Doms. Thank you, I'd rather not get classed with either.

 

[Ezarc]

The point of this thread was that if a person does not want attention, not to make an ass of yourself and to back off.
That was what this rant started as. Please treat others with respect and dignity.

 

[dragonhearted]

In this particular case, Catalina, that is a good idea.

fuck off Rosie....you don't know ME..only what you have read in my old posts. But then...you have your OWN preconceived notions, dont you

 

[A Desert Rose]

fuck off Rosie....you don't know ME..only what you have read in my old posts. But then...you have your OWN preconceived notions, dont you

Like I said... no assumptions need to be made. It's all in your posts.

LOL

 

[dragonhearted]

ah! the ignore feature is SUCH a wonderful thing!

 

[A Desert Rose]

ah! the ignore feature is SUCH a wonderful thing!

Oh boy... that hurts.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Agreed, with minor options in some portions, and one comment, going back to the initial post.

Once you: the top, Dominant, Master of another, PYL, have been told by the person approached, "No," be gracious and walk away.

This has nothing to do with BDSM.

Common courtesy, (which you should have been taught, and if you weren't, learn) if not common sense, should ring a warning bell in your head.

If it doesn't, don't be surprised, nor offended when you come across someone that rings the bell a little louder for you.

That does rather appear to hit the mark I must say.

Hello Dragonhearted I hope you are well?

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Oh boy... that hurts.

Hehehe welcome to the ignored club my lady

 

[dragonhearted]

That does rather appear to hit the mark I must say.

Hello Dragonhearted I hope you are well?

I am well...and you Sir?

 

[Mr Blonde]

The point of this thread was that if a person does not want attention, not to make an ass of yourself and to back off.
That was what this rant started as. Please treat others with respect and dignity.

My time is limited and I cannot reply to all the comments, but I definitely agree with statement!

I have seen four causes for such rudeness.

1. The person is slow, inept or disturbed.
2. The person is such a big flirt that it begins to make them socially undesirable. They just want to skim attention off other people without investing in anyone.
3. The person is used to so much success that their ego cannot handle a simple rejection.
4. The person is not having success finding a mate and is now desparate.

Anyway, this topic is either a vanilla or BDSM issue depending on different viewpoints and consensus is not always possible/desirable. I remember when I had my impotency thread and some people did not see that as a BDSM issue when it very much was one to me, so we just have to tolerate such differences in perspective.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Anyway, this topic is either a vanilla or BDSM issue depending on different viewpoints and consensus is not always possible/desirable. I remember when I had my impotency thread and some people did not see that as a BDSM issue when it very much was one to me, so we just have to tolerate such differences in perspective.

I find this very interesting.

If a topic is not directly related to bdsm, then there are people here who deem it in appropriate to this forum? I missed that memo, I guess.

It would be sad to think that the only topic of interest to people who post here has to be and is bdsm. I never saw a thread on impotency but I see a thread or 2 right now that are not technically bdsm related. I see no reason why other non-related topics cannot be discussed here and if they are not of interest to anyone, they will die their own death.

But to tell someone that their thread topic is inappropriate to this forum? I think that is just a bit arrogant.

 

[Quint]

I find this very interesting.

If a topic is not directly related to bdsm, then there are people here who deem it in appropriate to this forum? I missed that memo, I guess.

It would be sad to think that the only topic of interest to people who post here has to be and is bdsm. I never saw a thread on impotency but I see a thread or 2 right now that are not technically bdsm related. I see no reason why other non-related topics cannot be discussed here and if they are not of interest to anyone, they will die their own death.

But to tell someone that their thread topic is inappropriate to this forum? I think that is just a bit arrogant.

I think in this case, the two options are "BDSM Forum" or "BDSM Cafe." I don't consider that arrogant--it's what it was made for. But obviously, since this thread has remained for three pages on this particular forum, nobody has decided the topic was, well, off-topic.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I think in this case, the two options are "BDSM Forum" or "BDSM Cafe." I don't consider that arrogant--it's what it was made for. But obviously, since this thread has remained for three pages on this particular forum, nobody has decided the topic was, well, off-topic.

Read it again, Quint.

I was referring to Mr.Blonde's reference to his own impotency thread.... not this one.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Read it again, Quint.

I was referring to Mr.Blonde's reference to his own impotency thread.... not this one.

i must have missed the boat on this one. Guess i better go look. i wonder how many dreamland candyass wannabe Doms are impotent?

 

[Mr Blonde]

Eh, did you guys understand my previous post?

The first sentence was for Ezarc. The second part (a list) was just some crap that popped into my head as I re-read the thread. And the third part was me taking leave of the conversation while dealing what has been said since I last posted.

 

[dragonhearted]

Eh, did you guys understand my previous post?

The first sentence was for Ezarc. The second part (a list) was just some crap that popped into my head as I re-read the thread. And the third part was me taking leave of the conversation while dealing what has been said since I last posted.

well...I read it. I think you felt the need to vent, and a couple of people or so felt the need to nitpick that need to vent. Really people...is it that important to give someone a hard time over that? Especially since the basic point of the thread has already been well addressed...over and over again!

*hugs Blonde*