Getting permission to come

[Stella_Omega]

Ummmm...

If she is your EX-mistress, why are you still having phone sex, much less following her "rules"?

Because he can, duh.

Why are you even policing anyone's relationship arrangements?

 

[CutieMouse]

Because he can, duh.

Why are you even policing anyone's relationship arrangements?

I'm not trying to "police" anything.

It genuinely confuses me when someone says they are still following rules set by their ex-partner. *To me*, that indicates the person enforcing the rules/person following the rules, isn't an "ex". *To me* that is weird boundaries.

[Obviously] My bad for asking for asking a question.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm not trying to "police" anything.

It genuinely confuses me when someone says they are still following rules set by their ex-partner. *To me*, that indicates the person enforcing the rules/person following the rules, isn't an "ex". *To me* that is weird boundaries.

[Obviously] My bad for asking for asking a question.

I asked about that same thing in a slightly different way;

Beck, does your ex mistress's rule apply for you all the time, or only when you're talking to her?

and I got this answer;

thanks for the responce stella. only when i am talking with her.

 

[desertslave]

Some conditioning is hard to kick. It took me nearly a year, with my 'nilla now-ex, to stop waiting for permission and just let go. I'd spent the previous 6 years always asking permission, or just waiting to be allowed, (in many circumstances) and it was tough to unlearn. I would imagine that hearing the same person's voice would turn it all on again.

 

[Kim_Burly]

This will sound stupid, but I don't want control of my orgasms. To me, it's his decision, I don't want or need any say in it. If Sir told me today "do what you want, masturbate until your clit falls off." I wouldn't touch myself.

Having said all that, I can get frustrated when I am playing with Lynn and I have to push her away when I get too close. As hard as that is, I still want him to have complete control over that. It makes the times that he does let me use her to completion all that much sweeter .

 

[Beck31]

Some conditioning is hard to kick. It took me nearly a year, with my 'nilla now-ex, to stop waiting for permission and just let go. I'd spent the previous 6 years always asking permission, or just waiting to be allowed, (in many circumstances) and it was tough to unlearn. I would imagine that hearing the same person's voice would turn it all on again.

desertslave has it right. the conditioning is there. like pavlov's dogs. when i say "ex mistress" i mean that while we remained friends and do keep in fairly regular contact it is not nessisarily always a dom/sub thing. still there are some things that remain ingrained. habit is hard to break when you've done it for so long. oh and its not nessisarly phone sex but rather a conversation that often includes sexual content. i'm quite capable of doing things on my own but i'm used to seeking permission. hope that clears up some confusion.