help me think this through

[justabitofred]

The problem is it's not a 'job'. She would be getting paid thousands of dollars, and wouldn't be free to spend whatever she earns however she sees fit - it's all on credit cards and 'expense accounts' that he controls, and I would guarantee that there'll be a limit on how much she can spend, and probably on what she can spend it on. Most sex workers actually value their independence, and I can't imagine many would opt for this, as they'd be basically walking away from their established lives to be at someone else's beck and call.

She said she's seen this guy a few times - it doesn't sound like they've had an ongoing relationship at all, and she's given no indication that she actually likes him.

I think you're right that being judgemental and condescending isn't helpful, but it's probably not great to overly romanticise things either. This situation, as it's been described, is NOT giving her financial independence.

Well I'm NOT a sex worker. I go to school, live at home, well I used to have a job. I don't hang around a street corner at night. I mean how would I do that, sneak out of my room and sneak back in? So as soon as I take money I'm a sex worker?

 

[wicked woman]

Car? You're a guy for sure.

I don't understand what you mean by greater breath. Can you explain? Tried to google it.

How does he get me out of the hotel? He's not a big guy, pretty old and I'm fit? I'm being baited? He's trying to tell me he's rich? How could I know what a 60 year old man wants. Sex?

Greater breaDth not breath.

 

[justabitofred]

Greater breaDth not breath.

Right, I missed that. Ok I get it.

Firebird: that was never an option or he would have chose a different location, how would he get past the front desk or cameras in the lobby. I don't think he is strong enough. It would be much easier for him if I smile on the way out therefore the extra cash. The extra cash he gave me was a lot for me, but not that much overall and doesn't mean he can pay what he said he can.

 

[KimGordon67]

Well I'm NOT a sex worker. I go to school, live at home, well I used to have a job. I don't hang around a street corner at night. I mean how would I do that, sneak out of my room and sneak back in? So as soon as I take money I'm a sex worker?

Um ... yeah, if you're directly exchanging sex for money or anything else of material value, you're a sex worker. Sorry, but that's pretty much the definition. Not all sex workers hang around on street corners.

 

[77fbird400]

It really does sound as though you're being groomed for sex trafficking. Trafficking is not usually that idea of being kidnapped. I can't remember the percentage but that's actually very little of it. A lot is through people desperate and do stuff to pay rent or get groceries. Pics are taken and then blackmail starts. Not all of it is super organized but it is scary how much is. I really hope this is not the case with him especially if you go through with it.

Hello UMB, nice to see you here

 

[77fbird400]

Right, I missed that. Ok I get it.

Firebird: that was never an option or he would have chose a different location, how would he get past the front desk or cameras in the lobby. I don't think he is strong enough. It would be much easier for him if I smile on the way out therefore the extra cash. The extra cash he gave me was a lot for me, but not that much overall and doesn't mean he can pay what he said he can.

Hello red one.

This is brilliant! You’re doing a great job thinking this through! You’re getting the hang of this. Keep practicing this skill and you can do it much quicker and with greater depth. This is a good start.

I don’t think you realized it but you may have inadvertently provided the missing piece of this puzzle. Let’s see if you can get there yourself, perhaps with some guidance.

Keep those gears in your head turning and keep thinking it through. You provided / explored a number of different branches or avenues. You realized the whole kidnapping thing is a dead end, that was never the intention so let's abandon that branch.

I want you to pursue this avenue with one assumption and share your thoughts: let’s say I’m right, he’s bluffing and he’s not rich. Why then did he pay you all that extra money? What does he gain? You said that you’re not a sex worker, you don’t do this regularly, I believe you. So in other words, you probably were not that good with him. Sorry, but sex / BDSM takes practice. And young people just aren't that good at it. Yet he paid you much more than you expected. Why? Let’s also assume he’s going to gain something from you. What could it be? Hint: re-read the information you provided in your first post.

Question (don’t have to answer): Did he take you out on a date prior to sex and did you give him information about your personal life and family? I’m going to guess he did, folded the receipt nicely and kept it in his breast pocket and you told him everything.

Side note, so I have a car therefore I’m a guy? I thought you said you have a car too?

ps. I still can’t private message you.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

If her private messages are turned off, they are turned off for a reason. Communicate in the thread. I highly doubt she has any wishes to talk to you outside of this thread when every single post you’re making is highly patronizing and condescending.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Car? You're a guy for sure.

I don't understand what you mean by greater breath. Can you explain? Tried to google it.

How does he get me out of the hotel? He's not a big guy, pretty old and I'm fit? I'm being baited? He's trying to tell me he's rich? How could I know what a 60 year old man wants. Sex?

In situations like these that go badly, a primary method of control is blackmail. He could take photos or videos of you in situations you would not want released and use them to control you. If you have shared with him that you wouldn’t want to tell your friends and family you are doing this, and he’s that kind of person, he’s already thought of it.

The situation could be exactly as you are expecting, too. That’s a thing. But almost all of us replying here are scared of the red flags, of which there are many. And the what ifs and what could go wrongs are significant. If you had a chance to SB to his SD and stay where you are and stay connected to your family and social group, I would be less concerned. It’s the isolation that worries me the most. Abusers isolate.

PS. There is no need to turn your PMs on unless you want to receive PMs. You said you created a second account to ask this question, so I think you know exactly how Lit works. I doubt the condescending ass picked up on that.

 

[justabitofred]

Um ... yeah, if you're directly exchanging sex for money or anything else of material value, you're a sex worker. Sorry, but that's pretty much the definition. Not all sex workers hang around on street corners.

Oh look QUEEN KIM has spoken, let us all stop and listen.

So I play 2 songs on the piano so to you I'm a piano player. I smoked weed maybe 2/3x in my life so to you I'm a pothead. I had sex with this guy 3x so I don't have to ask my hard working dad for as much school fees. He's the first one I met, I thought I got lucky, now I'm not so sure. So to you I'm a full on prostitute. You think I'm just money hungry greedy little bitch, that is NOT the case, you don't know my home situation. Go ahead and call me a whore. I don't care what you think.

 

[justabitofred]

If her private messages are turned off, they are turned off for a reason. Communicate in the thread. I highly doubt she has any wishes to talk to you outside of this thread when every single post you’re making is highly patronizing and condescending.

Actually I swear I never turned them off. I just started this new account, waited a day and posted my question. You're right, my other lit account has PM options. I thought maybe because I was new and didn't have access? I will turn them on but I don't see an option to do that. I'll check again.

 

[justabitofred]

It really does sound as though you're being groomed for sex trafficking. Trafficking is not usually that idea of being kidnapped. I can't remember the percentage but that's actually very little of it. A lot is through people desperate and do stuff to pay rent or get groceries. Pics are taken and then blackmail starts. Not all of it is super organized but it is scary how much is. I really hope this is not the case with him especially if you go through with it.

I did say no pictures or video and he did respect that. I actually found him pretty easy to work with, almost pleasant. But Firebird is right in that, perhaps too easy for what he ended up paying me. I'm suspicious now.

 

[justabitofred]

Hello red one.

This is brilliant! You’re doing a great job thinking this through! You’re getting the hang of this. Keep practicing this skill and you can do it much quicker and with greater depth. This is a good start.

I don’t think you realized it but you may have inadvertently provided the missing piece of this puzzle. Let’s see if you can get there yourself, perhaps with some guidance.

Keep those gears in your head turning and keep thinking it through. You provided / explored a number of different branches or avenues. You realized the whole kidnapping thing is a dead end, that was never the intention so let's abandon that branch.

I want you to pursue this avenue with one assumption and share your thoughts: let’s say I’m right, he’s bluffing and he’s not rich. Why then did he pay you all that extra money? What does he gain? You said that you’re not a sex worker, you don’t do this regularly, I believe you. So in other words, you probably were not that good with him. Sorry, but sex / BDSM takes practice. And young people just aren't that good at it. Yet he paid you much more than you expected. Why? Let’s also assume he’s going to gain something from you. What could it be? Hint: re-read the information you provided in your first post.

Question (don’t have to answer): Did he take you out on a date prior to sex and did you give him information about your personal life and family? I’m going to guess he did, folded the receipt nicely and kept it in his breast pocket and you told him everything.

Side note, so I have a car therefore I’m a guy? I thought you said you have a car too?

ps. I still can’t private message you.

Ha well, I didn't name myself after a car so...

Yes he did ask a lot of personal questions and I answered them. He didn't really allow me to ask too many personal questions in return. But I asked some. Now I wonder if what he said is true at all. Even that picture in his wallet, did he leave it open for me to see it on purpose? No, it wasn't really a date prior to sex. Just a quick bite to eat. I didn't eat much, I don't like eating before sex for obvious reasons.

Sorry, how am I supposed to think like an old guy? I'm not old or a guy? The only thing I can think of is he wants to get my attention, make me think he's loaded. But I get it now. Just because he paid me a lot more on the first few times is no indication he has money. I'm thinking it through now as you suggested. He wants to impress me? Make me sign his contract? I did spill the beans to me about my situation at home. He knows I need money. I did tell him he's my first one. I mean, I'm not a virgin of course, I mean first client I guess. I'm going to need more "direction." Can you be more specific? I'l try...

 

[Moochienanu]

Oh look QUEEN KIM has spoken, let us all stop and listen.

So I play 2 songs on the piano so to you I'm a piano player. I smoked weed maybe 2/3x in my life so to you I'm a pothead. I had sex with this guy 3x so I don't have to ask my hard working dad for as much school fees. He's the first one I met, I thought I got lucky, now I'm not so sure. So to you I'm a full on prostitute. You think I'm just money hungry greedy little bitch, that is NOT the case, you don't know my home situation. Go ahead and call me a whore. I don't care what you think.

HOLY FUCK!

Step back now.

1. Please look up and read the definition of sex work for yourself. Anyone, according to Wikipedia (and anywhere else you look it up), who exchanges a sexual service for monetary compensation (that means cash money, buying specific things, tuition, etc) is doing sex work.
2. Sex work does not make you a whore or a prostitute. You are the only one who can label yourself.
3. Sex work is a legit way some people make money (think onlyfans and cam girls for example).

Kim was just making you aware of the definition of sex work. She was not making the assumptions about sex workers that you are. Please think about apologizing to legitimate sex workers who may have found their way in here. If I were one, I would be rightly offended.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Oh look QUEEN KIM has spoken, let us all stop and listen.

So I play 2 songs on the piano so to you I'm a piano player. I smoked weed maybe 2/3x in my life so to you I'm a pothead. I had sex with this guy 3x so I don't have to ask my hard working dad for as much school fees. He's the first one I met, I thought I got lucky, now I'm not so sure. So to you I'm a full on prostitute. You think I'm just money hungry greedy little bitch, that is NOT the case, you don't know my home situation. Go ahead and call me a whore. I don't care what you think.

What the actual fuck?

HOLY FUCK!

Step back now.

1. Please look up and read the definition of sex work for yourself. Anyone, according to Wikipedia (and anywhere else you look it up), who exchanges a sexual service for monetary compensation (that means cash money, buying specific things, tuition, etc) is doing sex work.
2. Sex work does not make you a whore or a prostitute. You are the only one who can label yourself.
3. Sex work is a legit way some people make money (think onlyfans and cam girls for example).

Kim was just making you aware of the definition of sex work. She was not making the assumptions about sex workers that you are. Please think about apologizing to legitimate sex workers who may have found their way in here. If I were one, I would be rightly offended.

All of this.

 

[JohnnyJ569]

Your Question

You have some good points. One, if I was to sign a contract, I would make sure his portion is stated. In other words, He is providing full housing and food. 2. There must be a safe word and when said, it stops, Is there a payment or spending money for you. If there is another female involved, are you OK with girl on girl action he may want. Will he take you out dressed the way he wants, ie Slut whore, etc. Does it include having sex with others on his command? Think of the worse example, He wants you dressed as a whore, and takes you to an adult Bookstore. He has you perform with others. In other words, think every point and word and make a decision.

I hope it’s OK I started another account to post this question. I’m not exactly proud of this. So I may have an opportunity to be sb to a sd. I’m young, and I can and want to cash out on my body for a year or two while I still look like your little sister. Why not? It’s just sex and sex is a cinch. I know it’s wrong, but it’s my decision, I’m adulting now I’m hoping to get help thinking this through.

COVID has been really hard on me and anyone my age. No real skills, education not complete, our already crappy jobs wiped out. Even without COVID, what’s a girl to do with little (or no) bankable skills? Wait tables at min wage and beg for a tip? Prior to COVID, we had sex several times. He’s almost 40 years older than me. His tastes are not hard for me to handle. Light bondage, spanking, ropes, cuffs, collars, leash, floggers, little girl dress-up. Easy peasy. Last time we met, he said something about getting me a place near him (same country, other side) and I would be his live-near play-thing. I would have a credit card and spending account. Apparently, he has a contract for me. I’ll be joining another girl he has right now, I’m going to guess we’ll be roommates?

My thoughts are my safety. I’m not exactly proud of this so I don’t want to tell anyone. I live at home, how do I tell my parents I’ll be disappearing for a year or so? Boyfriend? Friends? How do I explain my disappearance? I’m midway through college but the semester is done, trying to think through taking a break for only one year to make some really good tax free money. Is this even legal (USA)? Did I miss anything?

 

[justabitofred]

In situations like these that go badly, a primary method of control is blackmail. He could take photos or videos of you in situations you would not want released and use them to control you. If you have shared with him that you wouldn’t want to tell your friends and family you are doing this, and he’s that kind of person, he’s already thought of it.

The situation could be exactly as you are expecting, too. That’s a thing. But almost all of us replying here are scared of the red flags, of which there are many. And the what ifs and what could go wrongs are significant. If you had a chance to SB to his SD and stay where you are and stay connected to your family and social group, I would be less concerned. It’s the isolation that worries me the most. Abusers isolate.

PS. There is no need to turn your PMs on unless you want to receive PMs. You said you created a second account to ask this question, so I think you know exactly how Lit works. I doubt the condescending ass picked up on that.

Well Miss Moderator, maybe they're condescending to YOU. Have you considered that if I found them condescending then I wouldn't respond to him?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Well Miss Moderator, maybe they're condescending to YOU. Have you considered that if I found them condescending then I wouldn't respond to him?

Bahahahahaha!

I apologize for any concern for your personal safety in this likely hypothetical situation. Not sure what you were looking for, but it doesn’t seem like it was actually reasonable advice you were seeking. You do you!

 

[justabitofred]

What the actual fuck?



All of this.

What the hell is going on with this topic now, are the three of you bff's? It was so nice until now.

 

[justabitofred]

Bahahahahaha!

I apologize for any concern for your personal safety in this likely hypothetical situation. Not sure what you were looking for, but it doesn’t seem like it was actually reasonable advice you were seeking. You do you!

You're gonna laugh at me? You're very immature for a moderator. How old are you? Can you explain to me how a condescending post affects my personal safety?

Thanks all for ruining a nice conversation I was having with someone.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

What the hell is going on with this topic now, are the three of you bff's? It was so nice until now.

Your reaction to Kim’s post was way off. I don’t know the other two other than public messages on this board. We just clearly read your reaction similarly.

 

[justabitofred]

Your reaction to Kim’s post was way off. I don’t know the other two other than public messages on this board. We just clearly read your reaction similarly.

It was in YOUR opinion, not MINE, should MY opinion line up with yours? If YOU find a post condescending should I feel the same?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

It was in YOUR opinion, not MINE, should MY opinion line up with yours? If YOU find a post condescending should I feel the same?

I could give zero fucks if you want to converse with and take the advice from firebird. Have fun with that.

The thread will go where the posts take it, though. I won’t be offering advice (not that you wanted it) nor do I expect any others who were trying to give you good advice to continue to do so. They might try, but they will likely read your posts and determine it’s not worth the time. We’ll see.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Oh look QUEEN KIM has spoken, let us all stop and listen.

Interesting turn of phrase and use of caps there…

 

[JamieJ424]

I’d look at it from future you’d perspective. How would you explain this to future partners? How will you feel about it when you’re 30, or 40, or 60?

Also of concern is your total reliance on this one person for everything. You will be off the grid. Nothing will be in your name. If he decides to cut you off, or if you decide you want out and he doesn’t allow it…it could get ugly. I’m not saying you’re going to end up in a box under his bed…but you might. This other girl could easily be a co-conspirator in one the con.

And your foundational argument, that life is hard so why not…well, is life going to be easier after a year spent essentially not existing? You’re not building credit, or getting an education, or building work experience. How will you explain that year to future potential employers? You’ll be fighting for the same jobs as other people a year younger than you are, who HAVE been building credit and getting work experience and getting an education. I think it will put you on the back foot in terms of your future.

It’s tempting because it’s easy, I get that. But I think it’s a bad idea.

 

[justabitofred]

I could give zero fucks if you want to converse with and take the advice from firebird. Have fun with that.

The thread will go where the posts take it, though. I won’t be offering advice (not that you wanted it) nor do I expect any others who were trying to give you good advice to continue to do so. They might try, but they will likely read your posts and determine it’s not worth the time. We’ll see.

Oh yeah? Why would you respond in the first place then? Can you explain that? And why would you laugh and swear at me? No one else did that here. But a MODERATOR did that? This is just appalling for a moderator and super lame that this has to come from ME, a NOBODY, I'm a LOWLIFE, can't do anything right apparently. Go ahead Miss Moderator, delete this message so no one else can see it. You're on top of the world right?

Thanks for ruining a perfectly good conversation I was having.