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Holiday contest!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so the general consesnsus here is that BFW has been the Oakland Raiders' Randy Moss. I'm just starting here and I wasn't privy to all the old stuff so I'll decide for myself from here on out whether I'm getting New England Patriots' Randy Moss or am I stuck with the same guy who was a heartless malcontent with the Raiders.

Judging from BFW's story totals I think it's at least safe to say that he's not lazy! Dude is nothing if not prolific! (I'm not about to wade through six hundred stories though so I'll just have to take his word that he's a good writer/story teller. I'd guess that he probably is, despite whatever other issues he may have here.)

Besides, hey, if I won the lottery I too might write six hundred stories. I'd of course have to squeeze them in and around all the traveling and cavorting I'd otherwise be doing but sure, hell yeah, I'd probably still write the occasional fuck story. Why not? It's fun and it's not like anybody's paying me to do it now either...
 
getting back to the question at hand...

Yes there are contests and yes the contests are fixed...

[size=+2]
LAUREL and MANU
​
[/size]

run this site​

I’m james r scouries, and I approve this message…

[size=+2]Dolphins don’t fix contests …[/size]
 
Ah, scouries...

One minute they're paying him royalties *snicker*
The next they're fixing contests so that he can't win. *chortle*

The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing (Which is probably a good thing for all appendages involved )
 
From the thread that must not be named

sarahhh said:
In the meantime, we always have the "Holiday contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!" thread in Story Feedback with the lead post "Wow, what a freaking joke! Does anyone besides me, think that the contests are fixed?" to ponder.
Click to expand...

Yes, the thread posted by the guy who tried to post two chapters to a contest that no longer excepts chapters. And a day after the contest closed also.

Can't you just taste the sour grapes?

Oh sorry, I forgot, those are your favorites. :rolleyes:
 
This thread kinda reminds me of how I always pictured it must've been back stage during the filming of "The Brady Bunch." I guess in this instance BFW would have to be Marsha. Or maybe Greg.

Who was it again that everyone hated?
 
Darkniciad said:
Ah, scouries...

One minute they're paying him royalties *snicker*
The next they're fixing contests so that he can't win. *chortle*

The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing (Which is probably a good thing for all appendages involved )
Click to expand...

You can't forget the information he so freely gives about where a new story places on the New Stories page. He claims, and I've read of people saying he's claimed this, that you have to pay Laurel to get your story to place at the top of the list.

What? What's that you say? Oh really? A chapter of my story showed up number two on that list today?

How about that! And you know what? I didn't pay anyone anything to get it there!
 
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stevieraygovan said:
Who was it again that everyone hated?
Click to expand...

It's a very close race between scouries, BFW and sarahhh. Take your pick, pretty much everyone in the AH, well everyone on all the Lit forums, has one or all of them on ignore. Oh yeah, can't forget scouries' alt Grand_High_Poohbah. (If you haven't met 'her' yet, I'm sure you will sooner or later. It's amazing that scouries taught a blow-up doll how to type)
 
Nah, I meant which Brady Bunch actor was the one who was hated by the rest of the cast? That'd be BFW here, or so it seems.

Myself, fuck it, this is just a message board. I'm not about to invest anything as taxing as hatred into anonymous dots and slashes on a computer screen. My guess is that once the artiface of the internet is stripped away I'd probably enjoy shooting the shit over dinner with just about every one of you. That's just how it always seems to work in Internet Warriorville...

Just don't sabotage my stories, that's all I ask!!

:-0
 
stevieraygovan said:
Nah, I meant which Brady Bunch actor was the one who was hated by the rest of the cast? That'd be BFW here, or so it seems.

Myself, fuck it, this is just a message board. I'm not about to invest anything as taxing as hatred into anonymous dots and slashes on a computer screen. My guess is that once the artiface of the internet is stripped away I'd probably enjoy shooting the shit over dinner with just about every one of you. That's just how it always seems to work in Internet Warriorville...

Just don't sabotage my stories, that's all I ask!!

:-0
Click to expand...
Nah, BFW isn't hated - he's too irrelevant for that.

He's just that sour old man down the street whose roof you used to rock or whose doorbell you'd ring and run away, just so you could watch him blow a gasket. ;)
 
starrkers said:
Nah, BFW isn't hated - he's too irrelevant for that.

He's just that sour old man down the street whose roof you used to rock or whose doorbell you'd ring and run away, just so you could watch him blow a gasket. ;)
Click to expand...

I think of your four AV's, the saggy breasts, the saddlebag thighs, and this one, I liked the emu the best. It looked more like how I imagine you to look. This latest one makes you too much like a crazy Mrs. Claus.

I imagine Santa forcing you to do things, such as, acting nice instead of acting like a vindictive, horrible, mean spirited bitch.

Tell me, what have you done for someone lately? Do you spend every minute on this board vomiting your poison or do you have a life with love and happniness? You are a sad little creature.

I've helped parents of children who have fatal diseases and I've helped feed the homeless. These stories are what I do in my spare time to relax and for you to shit all over me and my stories is something that only someone who doesn't have a life and who is so miserable in her own existance would do. I feel sorry for you.

I'm not a religious man, but I pray for you. What comes around goes around in this world, Madam, and I've done more good for people in one year than you have in a lifetime. I'm not bragging about what I do and surely, I'd never tell people who I know what I do. I just do it because it has to be done and I can afford to do it. I mention what I do here because it doesn't matter. No one knows me.

Feel free to use whatever I write as an accompanyment to your signature line.
 
starrkers said:
See what I mean?
:D
Click to expand...

What were you sitting there waiting for me to make a post?

This is the season to be kind to your neighbor. Do something good for someone. Go outside. There is life other than this AH board.

Just wondering...how the Hell old are you anyway? I thought you were in your thirties, but unless that photo of you wearing granny glasses is of your mother, you look like a woman in her (gulp) fifties.

No wonder why you are so mean spirited. You're wishing you looked how you once did, huh?

Well, life is not all about you, Honey. Helping others is where it's at. I can attest to that. There is not a better feeling than helping someone who thought their back was up against a wall. Now, I don't believe in handouts. And the neediest of people don't want my charity. They want hope. Those are the ones that I help, albeit not as much now as I once did. Now, I just want to be left alone by the likes of you to write my stories.

Be gone evil, vile, despicable woman. Go find your salvation by being nice to someone. Even you can change for the better. Now, there's a good line to use for your signature. Even you can change for the better.
 
Unlike you I don't lie in my profile. My age is there for all to see.

You happily bash everyone else's appearance, when are you going to have the balls to show your own, instead of the pooch?


eta: goodnight Freddy. Been busy lately and not around so much - I'm sure you understand, those of us with a life have family Christmases to prepare for, presents to buy, food to prepare, decorations to hang. Writing porn tends to take a backseat.
 
Last edited:
starrkers said:
Unlike you I don't lie in my profile. My age is there for all to see.

You happily bash everyone else's appearance, when are you going to have the balls to show your own, instead of the pooch?


eta: goodnight Freddy. Been busy lately and not around so much - I'm sure you understand, those of us with a life have family Christmases to prepare for, presents to buy, food to prepare, decorations to hang. Writing porn tends to take a backseat.
Click to expand...

Yes, I can see by your 9,867 posts that you've been busy...with your life.

This is my life, writing stories. Now, that I've traveled everywhere, bought everything, done everything that I ever wanted to do, and helped my friends and family with money, I'm done. This is what I want to do. I want to write.

I don't write for contests. I write for me. If someone likes what I write, so much the better. If someone bashes my stories, it only makes me write...more stories.

I don't understand someone like you being on a "story board" and not writing stories. Maybe, you're just a reader. That's cool. We need writers need readers.

Actually, you're right. I did lie about my age. Generally, I don't lie. To be honest. I'll be 89 on my next birthday. You caught me. I can't fool you. Yep, I'm 88 and as spry as a kangaroo. I was born July 26, 1920 (cough, hack, wheeze).

Now, why would I post my photo? I could post anyone's photo. Suffice to say that I'm still a good looking guy. I still have my share of muscles. I used to be a boxer/bodybuilder. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't matter to me if you believe me or not. There are some on this site who have seen a photo of me and they can attest to that.

"Writing porn tends to take a back seat." To what? To your posting on the AH board?

Besides, I don't consider what I do as writing porn. I think of it as writing stories. I'm proud of what I write. Even my kids, my wife, my girlfriend, and my mistress know that I write porn, er, I mean stories.

May I write a story for you? What story shall I write for you? Yes, that's what I'll do. I shall put you in one of my stories. Will that make you happy, Starrkers? You've been riding my coattails since I started writing on this board, you may as appear in one of my stories. For God sakes, why didn't you just ask me before that you wanted to be in one of my stories. All you had to do is ask, instead of doing all this back and forth babbling nonsense.

Okay, let me go and write you a story. It should post in time for Christmas and it will be my "special" gift to you.

"I love you, Starrkers."

(Gees, there I go again writing more lines for your signature.)
 
why don't we just chill out and have a nice cup of tea?

cup_of_tea_2.jpg
 
Liar said:
True dat. They swim around and eat tuna and stuff.
Click to expand...

Don't think I haven't noticed, Liar. I've been meaning to tell you.

There's something different about you.

Is that a new mask, hat, jacket, tie? You look different, but better.
 
GratefulFred said:
I hope Bostonboy wins so he won't lay claim to a last place trophy.
Click to expand...

Nah, the main moderator who runs the contest would rather have needles stuck in her eyes than allow me to win. I'm sure they'll make something up and disqualify me.

As far as I'm concerned, I've written the most stories and have the most points. Only, they won't see it that way because of who I am, Bostonfictionwriter. I'd have to be a lesbian or an emotionally disturbed woman to win this contest. Not that there are anything wrong with lesbians, except that they don't like men and I'm a man.

As usual, this is another unfair contest here at Literotica. They don't think that I know what they are plotting behind the scenes, but I have friends here, too.

Fortunately, this place is run by Laurel and Manu and not by "them". We shall see. Gees, I'm on pins and needles just waiting for the final outcome.

"What's the score?"

"We don't know, yet?"

"Don't know, yet?"

"Yeah, the game's not over?"

"So?"

"Well, around here, they don't update the Survivor Scorecards or give the score until they meet in secret behind closed doors."

"That sucks. How is that fair."

"It's not. It's just the way it is. They own the ball and either you play by their rules or you don't play at all."
 
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