Holy Sh*t They're NAKED in Here!

[Sara Crewe]

The Golden Shower is probably out too, though I know nothing about his financial situation. I think that's more a Donald Trump line.

Now that white bull thing for Homburg? I could see that.

Though that picture may be wrong. It isn't clear the bull is top.

I think we have a winner.

Homburg The White Bull

 

[Tzara]

The Golden Shower is probably out too, though I know nothing about his financial situation.

I just read this again, and am thinking whoops, Dummy--this is a porn site!

Heh. "Golden showers."

God. I am so dumb sometimes.

I meant this.

No, perverts. Those are coins. Gold coins.


Memo to self: In future avoid mythological references unless first thoroughly vetted for perviness. In or out, so to speak.

 

[Homburg]

I think we have a winner.

Homburg The White Bull

Yes, thank you, I am a winner. Rawr.

I mean, uh, that name is teh win. Full of win, in fact.



--

I just read this again, and am thinking whoops, Dummy--this is a porn site!

Heh. "Golden showers."

God. I am so dumb sometimes.

I meant this.

No, perverts. Those are coins. Gold coins.


Memo to self: In future avoid mythological references unless first thoroughly vetted for perviness. In or out, so to speak.

I was waiting for you to catch that one. I saw it and thought it a bit too easy.

And, for the record, golden showers are not my thing.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Yes, thank you, I am a winner. Rawr.

I mean, uh, that name is teh win. Full of win, in fact.



--



I was waiting for you to catch that one. I saw it and thought it a bit too easy.

And, for the record, golden showers are not my thing.

Hom, just for the record when the Rawr is normal sized I picture a house cat type of sound--one step above meow. Just sayin'. Not sure what everyone else hears. I have unique receptors. Plus I am passing on the fact that I hear you meowing 'cause I thought that might work better than a red cape since you are a white bull.


Tz, man, I totally thought you had pulled the golden showers thing out on purpose because this is a porn site!!

 

[Homburg]

Hom, just for the record when the Rawr is normal sized I picture a house cat type of sound--one step above meow. Just sayin'. Not sure what everyone else hears. I have unique receptors. Plus I am passing on the fact that I hear you meowing 'cause I thought that might work better than a red cape since you are a white bull.

It's a smug noise, trust me. Ah, fuck it. I'll record it and send you a link in PM.

 

[Tzara]

I was waiting for you to catch that one. I saw it and thought it a bit too easy.

And, for the record, golden showers are not my thing.

No, I was in my usual Talk, then Think mode.

Hey. I'm in Sales. Kinda.

 

[Homburg]

No, I was in my usual Talk, then Think mode.

Hey. I'm in Sales. Kinda.

Sales will do that to you.

 

[Tzara]

Tz, man, I totally thought you had pulled the golden showers thing out on purpose because this is a porn site!!

Yes. Absolutely right. I was being ironic and clever.

As always.

 

[Tzara]

Sales will do that to you.

Pays well, though.

Enough so that occasionally being buffoon is worth taking a few years off the target retirement age.


I mean, I'm stupid anyway, right? May as well make money off it.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Yes. Absolutely right. I was being ironic and clever.

As always.

Fake it till ya make it is what I always tell my students.

 

[Tzara]

Fake it till ya make it is what I always tell my students.

It's the Gold Standard in the sales business.

Talk with Confidence. Don't matter what you say.

 

[Sara Crewe]

It's the Gold Standard in the sales business.

Talk with Confidence. Don't matter what you say.

I believe it won't matter what you say if you don't speak with confidence. If you don't speak with confidence, aint nobody gonna listen to you. They'll be trying to count the ceiling tiles or how many circles are in the carpet.


Smart people will however, figure you are full of shit if you don't have anything valuable to say.

 

[Tzara]

I believe it won't matter what you say if you don't speak with confidence. If you don't speak with confidence, aint nobody gonna listen to you. They'll be trying to count the ceiling tiles or how many circles are in the carpet.

Honey, so long as they sign the contract, we don't friggin' care what they do.


Two words: commission statement.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Honey, so long as they sign the contract, we don't friggin' care what they do.


Two words: commission statement.

I would be a bad salesperson.


I'd be like, "Are you sure this is what you want to do? It's a lot of money and a big commitment and once you sign that contract there's no turning back..."


I'd be fired in a week.

 

[Tzara]

I would be a bad salesperson.


I'd be like, "Are you sure this is what you want to do? It's a lot of money and a big commitment and once you sign that contract there's no turning back..."


I'd be fired in a week.

That's what makes technical sales so good. You aren't really the person trying to convince them to buy your stuff. You're just there to answer questions about what it can and can't do.

Not that it can't do anything. Great stuff. Will solve all your company's problems.

Probably the same moral circle of hell, I suppose, but at least you get to back your statements up with fact.

 

[Homburg]

That's what makes technical sales so good. You aren't really the person trying to convince them to buy your stuff. You're just there to answer questions about what it can and can't do.

Not that it can't do anything. Great stuff. Will solve all your company's problems.

Probably the same moral circle of hell, I suppose, but at least you get to back your statements up with fact.

I hated sales so very much. Then again, I sold cars. Used cars. What's not to hate about that, eh?

 

[Sara Crewe]

That's what makes technical sales so good. You aren't really the person trying to convince them to buy your stuff. You're just there to answer questions about what it can and can't do.

Not that it can't do anything. Great stuff. Will solve all your company's problems.

Probably the same moral circle of hell, I suppose, but at least you get to back your statements up with fact.

That would of course, mean that I had to figure out technically how whatever it was I was selling worked so I could assure my customer that it was perfect for their business.

Now, see, I could spend years analyzing a poem or a novel or a painting or a song but ask me to spend time figuring out how other things work and my eyes glaze over a little. I have huge amounts of respect for people who do it and admire their brains (Nice brain btw) and I will listen to the precis version from the expert but I don't want to be the expert.

 

[Tzara]

I hated sales so very much. Then again, I sold cars. Used cars. What's not to hate about that, eh?

I've worked in both pre- and post-sales technical software support. Pre-sales pays way better and people aren't mad at you when you talk to them.

This is called a Win-Win situation. At least for you.

 

[Tzara]

That would of course, mean that I had to figure out technically how whatever it was I was selling worked so I could assure my customer that it was perfect for their business.

Perfect? Nobody's product is perfect. But your product is good, and certainly as good as that crap your competitor is trying to push off on them.

But, yes. Understanding how the products work and explaining that to people is basically what I do.

Trying to be charmingly persuasive while I do it.

 

[Tzara]

It just occurs to me that we have wandered into talking about computer software sales in a thread that is supposed to be about people getting naked.

Where's Bijou?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

It just occurs to me that we have wandered into talking about computer software sales in a thread that is supposed to be about people getting naked.

Where's Bijou?

Bijou's a bit busy, darling. But she's watching you.

And she's naked,

 

[kryslez]

So, we can talk...er, write about anything on our minds, right?

Hm. Well, then.


What's in a name?

Fucking, en vitro, it doesn't matter how it happens. You get pregnant and nine months later, you're pumping out a very noisy, very slimy football people like to call a little bundle of joy. It doesn't matter what you call it - spirit, soul, whatever - we wrap it in flesh, give it a caretaker, slap a name on it and call it a day. When it gets old enough, it slaps you in the face - hard - and goes on its merry way. Then when it gets old enough, it calls itself an adult regardless of what the one who got it there thinks and walk down the street like nothing happened. We're a machine, a factory pumping out babies like candy on an assembly line.

But then someone goes and says they're gay. Doesn't matter the terminology, either. Everyone stops dead. Society gawks. People just wonder what the fuck must be going through your mind to make you say something like that. By the time they realize you were serious, it's too late; the damage is done. You're scarred for life, or they are. Your friends and family find out quicker than a CPA can type and they turn away before you can even spell CPA.

Next thing you know, you're on your own and wondering where in the hell to turn. Some people have it easy. Some people get into it too quick without realizing what it means. You kiss your best friend as a last act of rebellion only to find out you liked it, and that ruins the rest of your life. Ten years later, you're living in a shitty apartment with no friends and no family to show you the way. You had to learn it your way, which was harder than hell and twice as ugly. You don't even have a girlfriend to back you up, and even your best friend has moved on to bigger things while you're lying in the dark trying to wake up.

But you can't wake up. The last ten years has passed like a dream, but you still can't fucking wake up. So you lay there at night staring at your ceiling and wondering what in the hell you're supposed to do next, because you've got little money and less to brace you. Sometimes you feel lost, sometimes you're angry. Sometimes you just don't care anymore, or don't want to. But you've always got that longing in the end, at your very core, just wishing things would go back to normal. But they never do.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I actually believe that everyone does that to one degree or another. It's kinda like musical talent; everyone's born with at least a little bit of some kind of ability. Some have higher levels than others, and there are ways to hone abilities, just like learning music. There's really nothing "super" natural about it. I mean, test it out - look deeply into someone's eyes and you'll get all sorts of information about them, on some very deep levels.

I dunno about the right hands, although we should all be trying to use our superpowers for good and stuff. Most of the people I know who are the true Mozarts of those kinds of abilities are pretty uncomfortable with them, and generally wish they could shut it off. But for the implied compliment, I thank you.

I'm no Mozart. I'm just Salieri.

bj

I don't have to look in someones eyes to 'read' them (and BTW I am reading quite a few of you although not all) I sometimes wondered if I could learn to use whatever it is I have got that lets me read thoughts. I got shit on from a great height because I ignored what I already knew about the person because I cared for them and I let emotions override what I should have been paying attention to. Mostly well in the 'real' world anyway I keep quiet about this 'gift' because folks think its nutty! One or two people that know about such things have told me it's not the done thing to go into someones mind without permission but how do I stop it?

I just read this again, and am thinking whoops, Dummy--this is a porn site!

Heh. "Golden showers."

God. I am so dumb sometimes.

I meant this.

No, perverts. Those are coins. Gold coins.


Memo to self: In future avoid mythological references unless first thoroughly vetted for perviness. In or out, so to speak.

Well I must admit I did blink somewhat and think pardon me did he really mean that ?!!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

So, we can talk...er, write about anything on our minds, right?

Hm. Well, then.


What's in a name?

Fucking, en vitro, it doesn't matter how it happens. You get pregnant and nine months later, you're pumping out a very noisy, very slimy football people like to call a little bundle of joy. It doesn't matter what you call it - spirit, soul, whatever - we wrap it in flesh, give it a caretaker, slap a name on it and call it a day. When it gets old enough, it slaps you in the face - hard - and goes on its merry way. Then when it gets old enough, it calls itself an adult regardless of what the one who got it there thinks and walk down the street like nothing happened. We're a machine, a factory pumping out babies like candy on an assembly line.

But then someone goes and says they're gay. Doesn't matter the terminology, either. Everyone stops dead. Society gawks. People just wonder what the fuck must be going through your mind to make you say something like that. By the time they realize you were serious, it's too late; the damage is done. You're scarred for life, or they are. Your friends and family find out quicker than a CPA can type and they turn away before you can even spell CPA.

Next thing you know, you're on your own and wondering where in the hell to turn. Some people have it easy. Some people get into it too quick without realizing what it means. You kiss your best friend as a last act of rebellion only to find out you liked it, and that ruins the rest of your life. Ten years later, you're living in a shitty apartment with no friends and no family to show you the way. You had to learn it your way, which was harder than hell and twice as ugly. You don't even have a girlfriend to back you up, and even your best friend has moved on to bigger things while you're lying in the dark trying to wake up.

But you can't wake up. The last ten years has passed like a dream, but you still can't fucking wake up. So you lay there at night staring at your ceiling and wondering what in the hell you're supposed to do next, because you've got little money and less to brace you. Sometimes you feel lost, sometimes you're angry. Sometimes you just don't care anymore, or don't want to. But you've always got that longing in the end, at your very core, just wishing things would go back to normal. But they never do.

Personally I think you are a very brave person and I am so sorry you are hurting because of it I won't say anymore than that because quite frankly I am not qualified (if that's the right word) enough to help you. There are plenty on here that know the right words but I can't always find them and can only offer compassion

 

[Anschul]

I second the previous opinion. But know this, Kryslez...Here you are likely to find non-judgmental acquaintances--and perhaps a friend or two--but always an empathetic ear.
Welcome.