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~ Honey's Blanket Fort Of Bliss 2 ~

Can I just stay under the blankets and pretend it's still the weekend? I'm tired and it's getting darker every day here.
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Of course. Do you need a heating pad or a fan turned on or anything to help you sleep?
Click to expand...

What I really need is to go to bed at sensible hours.

Tuxedo Cat has taken to mewing at me plaintively when I'm not in bed at what she considers an acceptable time. I probably ought to just let her be my life coach.
 
Bramblethorn said:
What I really need is to go to bed at sensible hours.

Tuxedo Cat has taken to mewing at me plaintively when I'm not in bed at what she considers an acceptable time. I probably ought to just let her be my life coach.
Click to expand...

On the other hand, our tuxedo stands on us, alternately, each morning until we get up so he can settle into "his" spot.
 
gracie920101 said:
On the other hand, our tuxedo stands on us, alternately, each morning until we get up so he can settle into "his" spot.
Click to expand...

Junior Cat stomps on me until I lift the covers so he can crawl down beside me and cuddle up until his attention span lapses (usually about 5-10 minutes).
 
I think I need to hide out in here today. I'm not up to dealing with life today.
(curls up in a corner and pulls a blanket over my head)
 
Blankets are very important while sleeping. For example, I can't sleep if I don't cover myself with a comfortable blanket that keeps me warm. Also, I cover my body with a blanket even it is warm in summer. I just can't sleep without a blanket. My favorite part of the yea is the end of the summer. I like spending time with my friend on a different terrace and I like that when it gets colder the waiter can give you a blanket to feel more comfortable in their cafe. Also for better sleep it is important to have a good mattress and a good pillow for a good position of the spine.
______________
[Spam prohibited as per Forum Guidelines]
 
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Can we talk about burnout?

All day I've vascillated between crying and feeling like I needed to throw up. I'm in the yellow zone at least.

I'm okay, just worn out and overwhelmed and not quite sure how to proceed.

So gimme all your feedback! Warm fuzzies, practical tough love, all of it's good and helps me to find a way to move forward.

Fanks!
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Can we talk about burnout?

All day I've vascillated between crying and feeling like I needed to throw up. I'm in the yellow zone at least.

I'm okay, just worn out and overwhelmed and not quite sure how to proceed.

So gimme all your feedback! Warm fuzzies, practical tough love, all of it's good and helps me to find a way to move forward.

Fanks!
Click to expand...

Hugs.
You'll figure out how to proceed for now just let go.
 
At that point, I need a warm, soft blanket, my cat on my lap and a cuppa Constant Comment at my elbow. I'll zone out to games on my phone that I don't have to give much thought to but has repetitive motion, i.e., solitaire, blossom blast(cause things explode!) or even a slot machine on autospin just to watch it spin.
Leave me to my solitude and I will eventually emerge. Maybe a bit shaky but usually pissed off and therefore stronger in my convictions.

:heart::heart::heart:
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Can we talk about burnout?

All day I've vascillated between crying and feeling like I needed to throw up. I'm in the yellow zone at least.

I'm okay, just worn out and overwhelmed and not quite sure how to proceed.

So gimme all your feedback! Warm fuzzies, practical tough love, all of it's good and helps me to find a way to move forward.

Fanks!
Click to expand...

Well, Honey, for however little it may be worth, my experiences are that there is actually very little in this life that we truly need to do. But, we push ourselves constantly, saying "I need to..." "I need to..." "I need to..."

***shrug*** And it's understandable really when we tend to genuflect to the hagiographies of those who seem to do so much more than we do. When we weigh ourselves, measure ourselves, and find ourselves wanting compared to what it seems like everybody but us has no problems accomplishing.

At least none that they admit.

But, we only have 86, 400 seconds in any given day. And I don't care who you are, you can only accomplish so much of the Sisyphean tasks of just living in any given one of those seconds.

Toss relationships, of whatever variety, on that pyre and they become fuel for the fire burning our candle at both ends. And the more relationships we have, the more it burns our wicks (and wits) until something just has to give. The spirit is virtually always more willing than the flesh can stand.

So, what gives?

Well, in the cases of the particularly stubborn, usually their self-care goes first. They sacrifice sleep. They sacrifice eating well for eating on the run. And they sacrifice "down time" where they can unplug and recharge.

This is self-defeating as what happens is it reduces the durability of the flesh. The mind will fall shortly thereafter. And then the spirit.

So, what is sacrificed next?

More often than not the relationships that are closest to us are next on the chopping block.

***shrug*** You are, of course, always welcome to disagree with me. I did get a degree in this shit and spent (or misspent) quite a bit of my professional time involved in one aspect or another. But, if I've learned anything in my decades splashing around in this sandbox it is that everyone's mileage may vary.

But, it's been my observations, and my experiences, that this is what occurs. We've milked ourselves for all that we have, and, when it isn't enough, we turn on the relationship that we purport to be the most crucially important to us.

Which just makes sense, if you think about it. After all, that is what they are supposed to be there for, for us to lean on them.

Only, we look and it feels like they are too busy leaning on us. Just adding the gravy and cheese curds on top of what is already frying us.

And,... Well, what else are ya gonna cut? The kids?

Pffft. Yeah. Like that ever works out. I swear there is some unwritten law that the moment you cut the apron strings, they are gonna do the most boneheaded thing that we wouldn't have thought it was humanly possible to do and turn our lives into a sitcom. Nope. Experience dictates that an ounce of prevention is worth a gallon of cure there. And is usually much easier on the wallet.

So, who then? Friends?

Well, logic dictates that you don't really need to attend your Reiki instructor's third cousin's second-best friend's combination wake for their goldfish and wine tasting. But, on the other hand, they don't really demand all that much of our time comparatively. So, we wouldn't really be gaining that much by cutting this particular strand, right? (Even leaving aside that we might *gasp* disappoint someone or even several someones down that food chain.)

So, yeah. We look at our nearest and dearest who we are supposed to be able to lean on but feel the crushing weight of them leaning back on us. And, it seems to make sense. After all, they are where the majority of the sands in our hourglass are tick-tick-ticking away to. Ergo, if we cut them loose, look at all the time we would gain! Right?

And the thing is, historically it has seemed to work, for any of us that aren't just freshly hatched chicks with eggshells still stuck to our down. We cut loose a relationship that feels like it is just draining us. And all of a sudden, our parents were right, and we had all kinds of time to do our homework and study for tests and... and... and...

And we have the time to unplug and unwind. To eat better. To sleep longer.

And we get to feeling better. The endurance of our flesh is up. We can do more once more.

And without the "distraction" of that relationship monkey we tossed off our back, all that extra energy goes to the other projects that had been demanding our time. (Just like our parents told our adolescent angsty selves it would.)

And we get everything done. At least everything current. There is an ebb in the Sisyphean flow.

And after awhile... we feel... underutilized. We sense something is missing.

After all, what use is all the success in the world without anyone to share it with?

But, damn it! We cut loose that relationship in order to make it all possible.

Well, fuck. What now? How do I spend this time when the kids are off doing their thing, every crisis has been averted or managed, all of my friends are occupied with their respective Person... I've watched every television show or movie, read every book, played every game, listened to every song I want to right now... My belly is full and I'm lying alone in bed, but rested so that I can't sleep... What the fuck do I do with myself now?!

"Hey, baby. How you doin'? Lookin' mighty cute in them jeans."

And for a month or two or six, maybe even years, everything is cool.

Then the pattern begins again. One second's domino falls as the butterfly flaps it's wings in Peking. And before you know it, we're right back to feeling the crunch of so damn much we ***heavy air quotes*** "need" to do and not enough time to do it in.

Granted, as something on the capitalized side of the slash, I don't seem to have near the problem finding my "fuck off" switch as most that I'm aware of somewhere on the downhill slide of D\s (where all the shit rolls). But, my experience is that it happens to all variably, no matter which side of the slash they fall on and even those more vanilla than Dairy Queen soft serve.

What I've typically told anyone over the decades (both professionally and personally) is that self-care is essential. You don't limp around on a broken leg and just figure you'll find a way to make it work if you've got the good sense God gave little green apples.

Check your meds if you're on them. How you doin'? Are they workin'?

Check your sleep. If you're tired, up the dosage.

Check your water. If you piss and the bowl water isn't just as clear after, up the intake. Of WATER, mind you. Not soda, or tea, or wine, or any of the thousand other things we choose to drink instead.

Check your diet. While it's actually better to eat six smallish meals spaced out, are you at least pausing to eat three? Two? One? Making do with a handful of popcorn or cheeseballs or whatever is handy in the vending machines or actually getting some protein and vitamins and minerals?

"But, I don't have time!" You've got the same number of seconds in any given day as anyone else. Make the time or choose to let time make you.

As far as vitamins... understand that I'm no white jacket wearing stethoscope bling wearing menace. As far as I'm concerned, the overwhelming majority of them should fly their broomsticks south for the winter and stay there for the majority of the time. But, there are some decent ones around that don't have their textbooks up their asses and will actually listen to you and treat you on the basis of an individual rather than a number generating statistic to average and say "all should do thusly henceforth." And those tend to do a little better when you let them see you and learn YOU as opposed to the billion served under the arches. Make the time to go let them get to know you as a person rather than a stat.

Having said all that... to the best of my knowledge, the vitamin B complex is virtually impossible to toxify on. Particulary if you are taking care to innundate with enough water. What our bodies don't need, they piss away. Which turns the water in the bowl yellow. So we up the water intake. And it's all good.

And, vitamins B... um... 12 and 6, I believe it was, in particular help with the biochemical chain reaction to deal with depression, anxiety, and stress. Sorry, but I'm petering out here, both physically and mentally. But, you shouldn't take my word as some faceless infernal net entity but googlify the shit outta what I say anyway if you won't hie your hinny down to get it from the white jacketed horse's ass...er, mouth.

Vitamin D is another one. And much simpler since it just involves getting out in the sun.

Now, person's possessed of the MC1R.3 mutation in the sixth chromosome (aka about 80% of redheads) don't need as much exposure as the rest of us mere mortals since something about that particular mutation seems, at least currently, to be tied to a more effecient D uptake machine. But, even they typically need more than they get in a world where the vast majority of those 86, 400 seconds are spent indoors under artificial lighting. Even thirty minutes per day of exercising (or exorcising) your black thumbs in an attempt at gardening would be better than nothin'!

(I'll just mention here that everything is a trade-off, and their superpower D uptake typically comes with a weakness in handling temperature fluctuations. So, neener neener at your cape and wonder boots.) (But, seriously, do what you need to regulate your temp so you can handle it.)

Vitamin D as with Vitamin B complex seems to be tied to fighting depression, anxiety, and stress (or subdrop). Or, more accurately, their absence in sufficient dosages seems to tend to ripple a cascade failure through glandular production of enzymes and proteins to maintain functionality in the face of them.

Last, but not least... Honest to God, I have no idea just why. To the best of my knowledge there has never been a provable, replicatable research study to pinpoint the exact causal chain, but something about the secondary X chromosome seems to influence oxytocin and prolactin production from the uptake of something in cacoe.

Yes. You read that right. I just told you that chocolate is the bane of Dementors, and more so for the women than men.

However, not just any chocolate. Dark chocolate, not milk chocolate. And for damn sure not that white-colored trash left over from making chocolate someone decided to turn a buck on rather than continuing to discard. (To the best of my knowledge, there has not been any research to date on this newer "ruby chocolate" that has come out of the U.K, in the last couple or few years, so I really couldn't say one way or the other on that.) Dark chocolate. And the highest cacoe percentage you can stand.

Now, don't rush out and buy ten pounds of that shit. Typically one or two squares off a "king-sized" bar allowed to dissolve on the tongue will be enough for an effect if you're gonna get one.

For the pièce de résistance, once all the purely physiological checkboxes have a tick in them, do something nice for yourself.

Seriously.

Alright, look... back in the time that has mold and dust on the chronicles held together with duct tape on the bindings, I sat my happy little "look ma, king of the world" collegiate ass through a semester-long Seminar in Addictions class. And oddly while I struggle to remember people's names and faces (or usernames and avatars) from more recent times, I can still see Kitty... ***cough***... **ahem**,,, *blush*... I mean, Dr. Harris (yes, this one.
And this one)giving us this sage bit of wisdom; "Do something that makes you happy, for no other reason than it does make you happy, every day."

Although, I admit she kind of blew it when she went on to say, "why, just the other day, I pulled into a car lot and bought myself a new car."

What the everloving fuck?! Well, yeah, if I could just be driving down the street and whip in to a car lot and write a check for a damn new car, and not some beater on a street corner with the price and a phone number written in shoe polish but an actual luxury car brand fucking new that had been driven of the assembly line onto a truck then off the truck to a spot where it sat in a showroom having the fenders polished with a cloth diaper, that would probably make me feel better too! I was a broke assed college student!

Kitty...uh... :eek: I mean, Dr. Harris was an amazing woman in a whole lot of ways. And, quite frankly, one of the best in her (our, although I was never in the same league even when my mind still worked) field. However, she didn't really live on the same plane as the rest of us mere mortals. At that point, she was serving on the board of directors at one hospital, another board of directors of a completely unaffiliated rehab center, maintaining a small private practice, was a fully tenured professor, and was vying with Stanley Coren to see who would be broader published in their overlap of their chosen fields. Money had long since lost any meaning other than a tally point on a scoreboard she just really wasn't interested in.

It took the better part of the class (as I'm sure she intended, fuckin' certified genius that she is) to calm us down from the shocked laughter of that pronouncement and evaluate the gem from all facets.

Enjoyment is the key factor.

So, what is it that you enjoy that falls within the cross-section of what you can reasonably do?

How about a nice soak in a tub of sudsy water with flower petals floating on it that takes so long that you keep having to turn the H tap back on, reading a book by the only light coming from a veritable forest of candles to the soft background of dulcet music, and a trey of fruits, cheeses, and chocolates near enough to casually reach? No? Well, maybe that's just me. "Calgon, get me the fuck outta here!"

Some people like coloring in coloring books. For a certain personality type, it is relaxing to have clear borders drawn to then fill in. I recall one lady who held such in disdain and I just had to laugh my ass off because she made, granted beautiful, sun catchers and I really just failed to see any discernable difference worthy of her disdain.

Or maybe your thing is watching television shows. Nothing wrong with that. (Although I would point out that binging more than three in a single sitting is going to hit diminishing returns. And sixteen just totally defeats the entire purpose.)

The important thing is that you spend an hour or three doing something just for you for no other purpose than that it makes you happy. Yes, it will detract from the number of seconds spent on what you "need to" but the research studies are overwhelming that doing so will increase productivity in the seconds you spend on those tasks.

And will decrease the sense of "feeling yellowish" in all but the truly dysfunctional relationships with psychological and emotive "vampires."

Any road, I'm sure I've no doubt I've overstayed my welcome in your pillow fort. And, perhaps more importantly, have worn myself out and need some rest now. So, I'll leave you with this final wish for you and your fellow denizens of the blanket of bliss...

May you have all that you need, enough that you just want, and little enough that you don't for tomorrow to be better and brighter than today.
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Can we talk about burnout?

All day I've vascillated between crying and feeling like I needed to throw up. I'm in the yellow zone at least.

I'm okay, just worn out and overwhelmed and not quite sure how to proceed.

So gimme all your feedback! Warm fuzzies, practical tough love, all of it's good and helps me to find a way to move forward.

Fanks!
Click to expand...

Cancel everything that can be canceled as you would if you had a bad migraine, sprained ankle or stomach flu for a day or three. See how much can be canceled, resheduled or delegatedwith that perspective…

For me it helps to write down every single thing that i feel I have to do or worry/stress and look at them closely.
There are usually things that are
-really someone elses problem and should be handed back to them,
-stuff that can be skipped for once,
-things I can’t do much about anyway so why worry,
-things that only need little effort to be back on track,
-things someone else could do just as well, better or easier,
-things to put on the calendar or make appointments for and then forget about until it’s time
You get the point, braindump and sort.

I also try to think about what I miss doing and what can be done about it.
It can be sleep, time alone, good company, some input about life in general or a specific topic, exercice, sex, eating better.
At times I have found that I long for a special person, place or activity. Like once in the middle of a big project, I woke up one morning and cried because I longed so much to not be in the city and walk on paved ground. A few hours in the woods walking on moss and stumbling over roots made a world of difference.
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
Can we talk about burnout?

All day I've vascillated between crying and feeling like I needed to throw up. I'm in the yellow zone at least.

I'm okay, just worn out and overwhelmed and not quite sure how to proceed.

So gimme all your feedback! Warm fuzzies, practical tough love, all of it's good and helps me to find a way to move forward.

Fanks!
Click to expand...

I don’t know if you mean professionally or personally, so I’ll add what I can.
I’ve felt like this for years. I’ve been the breadwinner, the primary parent, the caregiver of my parents and in-law when necessary. No one has given a fuck about me since we started this arrangement. It all came to a head when I had my performance review at work. I broke down and told my boss and for all his faults, it made me feel so. Much. Better. Work was the place where I felt the least appreciated and he genuinely had no idea. Since I’ve told him, it’s gotten way better and I feel like I can breathe. I took a week off when my kid still had school so I could be alone for a week. He asks me whether I can add something to my plate instead of just assuming. It’s way better. So, telling the person who made my burnout worse what it was genuinely doing to me did help. I know not every boss is like that, but if work is causing you difficulty, is there someone you can tell? Can you take time off?

As for the other shit, the typical cis female mom shit? It will never go away, it will ebb and flow. Finding outlets where I’m not that person has always helped. Boxing or spin class. The spa where I get painfully necessary massages. But the pandemic took all that away from me. It even took away the one day I week I got ‘off’, where my spouse took our kid somewhere just the two of them. So between work and family, the pandemic was awful and manifested in an considerably less healthy me. I got through by trying very hard to be thankful for what I could control and comfort in my close friends who could understand my experience and anxiety. Friends do make everything better, even when you can’t hug them. I’m big on not putting my heavy shit -or really any shit - on other people, as everyone has their own burdens. But everyone I am close with was struggling during covid. We’d have porch gatherings with wine and hot chocolate where everyone just cried. Can you call friends - like Fara - and vent?

Like other have wisely mentioned, do you have too much on your plate that you should have said no to? We are conditioned to accept invites or sign up for things. We put everyone else first at the expense jd our own wellness. Can you shift any of that around, if that’s the case?

I’m not sure what’s causing your feeling of being overwhelmed, but you have a support system - I hope you find comfort in that system and are able to somehow take time for yourself where you can disconnect from what’s causing you difficulty and overcome the burnout. It’s been an exceptionally difficult 18 months for basically everyone. Now that things are opening up (covid is over? Huh!) we are stressed in different ways, balancing safety and common sense with our need to reconnect with others and it’s a weird, overwhelming time. I hope you’re able to prioritize yourself.
 
This surely would fix a lot of problems.

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