How annoying is first-person present tense?

[MillieDynamite]

Yes, but I'm doing this one to heighten the fear in part of it and the erotic in other parts.

This works.

But you see the problem? You took much longer to perfect four paragraphs in this tense than you would have if it had been in the past tense, because writing in past tense is like second nature to most of us.

 

[Britva415]

I don’t think the tense is the problem. It’s more difficult to use it consistently and naturally, and being unusual, it calls attention to itself. So basically you’re doing something difficult where errors will be very noticeable. As an editor when I see this, my first question is why? What about this story makes it better told this way?

Nah, tense is totally the problem - unless, as you say, there's a really good narrative reason.

This is the reason it's so annoying, because there never is such a narrative reason, made clear within the story's content, about why the narration is happening presently instead of after the events.

Hell, regardless of tense, I have this same problem with most first-person narratives anyway (why am I hearing this from this person? Who am I to the narrator?), but it's exponentially worse in present tense. It takes good writing and good storytelling to make me not care that the narrator's motivation for telling me their story isn't ever exposed, but it can be and has been done with past tense. I've never seen it succeed with present tense.

 

[firmbutgentle]

Hell, regardless of tense, I have this same problem with most first-person narratives anyway (why am I hearing this from this person?

“Whether you are to be the hero of your own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, those pages must show.”

 

[nice90sguy]

It's as natural as a POV camera to me. It has its place. It doesn't work if used for an entire story, at least to me. But Like Hitchcocks "Rope", its an intersting experiment, albeit an effort to maintain, for a whole story.

 

[yukonnights]

I suggest that you look-up info about the Deep POV / the Close POV.

In my experience the Deep/Close POV is a powerful tool. It's First Person and in my experience is only useful in a story with two or three characters. It takes a bit of practice, but I've written several stories in this style and most all of them have done really well.

 

[StillStunned]

This discussion has made me wonder whether I can do a first-person-present story. So far I'm a little over 1000 words into a university professor blackmailing a student for sex.

Well, I did it. Finished proofing the story this morning and submitted it. Just shy of 4000 words. It kind of got away from me, in length and content.

My name’s Ben, and I’m about to make a mistake. A big mistake. Perhaps the worst mistake of my life.

What’s worse, I know it’s a mistake and I’m going to go ahead anyway. I can’t stop. It’s like that split second before you bite down on your cheek. You know it’s about to happen, you know it’s going to hurt, but there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

But this is worse. This will be more than a sharp moment of excruciating pain and a few days of annoying discomfort. This could be life-changing, marriage-wrecking, career-ending. “Tell me, Dr Llewellyn, why did you leave your previous employment?

 

[SimonDoom]

Well, I did it. Finished proofing the story this morning and submitted it. Just shy of 4000 words. It kind of got away from me, in length and content.

Glad you gave it a try. Good luck!

 

[AllenWoody]

Well, I did it. Finished proofing the story this morning and submitted it. Just shy of 4000 words. It kind of got away from me, in length and content.

Let us know when it's live!

 

[MillieDynamite]

You stun me @StillStunned. 4000 words all on one story, my, oh, my will wonders never cease?

Well, I did it. Finished proofing the story this morning and submitted it. Just shy of 4000 words. It kind of got away from me, in length and content.

 

[StillStunned]

You stun me @StillStunned. 4000 words all on one story, my, oh, my will wonders never cease?

Obviously 4000 words isn't that many. But for something that started out as a writing exercise, in a style I actively dislike... Like I said, it got out of hand.

It hasn't been approved yet, though. Maybe because it's NC/R. Maybe because of the twist midway through.

 

[EroticCupcake]

I feel like "2nd Person" is a footnote in history, only taught for completeness.

However, in the last 3 years it is HUGE through DnD actual play YouTube and Podcasts. Critical Role and Dimension 20 have created hundreds (thousands?) of hours of content that is all 2nd person present tense.

The narrative story telling of Dimension 20 in particular is unbelievable. I wonder if the next generation of writers are binging that content now, and will find a way to bring it back in literature.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

I feel like "2nd Person" is a footnote in history, only taught for completeness.

However, in the last 3 years it is HUGE through DnD actual play YouTube and Podcasts. Critical Role and Dimension 20 have created hundreds (thousands?) of hours of content that is all 2nd person present tense.

The narrative story telling of Dimension 20 in particular is unbelievable. I wonder if the next generation of writers are binging that content now, and will find a way to bring it back in literature.

I've read second person stories on occasion, and I honestly rather enjoy them.

Have you ever been having sex, and your partner says, "You like that? Yeah, you like that, don't you? You like it when I fill in the blank . Yeah, I know you love that, cause your bad. You fuckin' love this fill in the blank."

Well, truth be told, yes I do like that, quite a bit, and so I enjoy 2nd person stories.

In my opinion, they work best for D/s stories, because in those stories, the Dom already has control and you -- the sub/reader -- are just being told exactly what to want anyway.

If your Dom/author is skilled, then their intuition is correct, and they tell you what you want and "give" it to you, (or within literature, they describe you receiving it).

It's rarely done, and it's often done my inexperienced authors, so a lot of it sucks, but I've enjoyed it in the past.

 

[MillieDynamite]

@StillStunned, I love a good twist.

Obviously 4000 words isn't that many. But for something that started out as a writing exercise, in a style I actively dislike... Like I said, it got out of hand.

It hasn't been approved yet, though. Maybe because it's NC/R. Maybe because of the twist midway through.

 

[StillStunned]

@StillStunned, I love a good twist.

I'm still waiting for the story to be approved, but I'm fully expecting a significant proportion of the readers to hate it. Particularly everyone who started following me yesterday and today after my short I/T stroker. Without the twist it just felt very flat, not worth the whole first-person present-tense thing.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Well, I'll read 'er when she gets published.

 

[GrushaVashnadze]

In this story, I alternate between first-person present and third-person past, for timeline reasons:

Metamorphoses ch. 1

I think it works well.

 

[StillStunned]

Ben's Big Mistake is finally up.

 

[Thefireflies]

First person present tense is how we live our lives, and like with any story, it works if engaging and well written. I've used it in a few stories and like it about as much as first person past tense, or third person past tense. No matter what perspective I’m writing from, I write a note to myself at top of the first page to check all tense during the editing and proof reading stages and try to pay attention to tense as I read. The problem is, if I write a story in present tense, then soon after write one in past tense, it can take a while to get into the tense of the new story (not a problem I'm having at the moment because procrastination...).

 

[mirafrida]

Ugh, I'm writing a story now, and by virtue of its specifc nature, it really does call for first/present. But, darn, I'm finding it hard to keep plugging away at it, because even when the prose it good, i still find it... kind of annoying

 

[Priscilla_June]

I loathe 1st person, and I can’t put a finger on it. Its just me.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I don't like 2nd person. I rarely see it anywhere except in stories here. But I adjust to it

You mean, you don't like second person. You rarely see it anywhere except in stories here. But you adjust to it.

 

[SimonDoom]

You mean, you don't like second person. You rarely see it anywhere except in stories here. But you adjust to it.

You rarely see it in stories here. Most of what people think is "second person" is actually first person where an "I" narrates the story but addresses a "you." That's not second person. Second person POV is when the point of view of the narrative is in the second person.

E.g.,

"You like it when I spank you. I can tell it makes you feel good." This is first person POV. "I" is telling the story from "I"'s point of view, addressing "you."

"You like it when she spanks you. You feel good when she does it." This is second person POV. The point of view of the story is from "you."

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

You rarely see it in stories here. Most of what people think is "second person" is actually first person where an "I" narrates the story but addresses a "you." That's not second person. Second person POV is when the point of view of the narrative is in the second person.

E.g.,

"You like it when I spank you. I can tell it makes you feel good." This is first person POV. "I" is telling the story from "I"'s point of view, addressing "you."

"You like it when she spanks you. You feel good when she does it." This is second person POV. The point of view of the story is from "you."

Got that. the phrase we're working with is kind of in a gray area. I guess if we quote everything after the comma and took out the 'But' in the last sentence, it would be closer. Can still be read either way.

 

[StillStunned]

Did someone say 2P POV?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Did someone say 2P POV?

You try to be subtle. You can't help it, though. Your inner ego refuses to be silenced. Knowing your crime full well, and to the disdain of everyone around you, you once again force your heresy upon the masses.