How challenging is to talk about fantasies, kinks etc.?

[Easyvirtue]

I find it very easy to those who have the same mindset!

 

[BiWifeMyrtleBeach]

In our case I was bisexual when I met my husband and learned from a previous relationship that I needed to be honest and open up front with any new man in my life, that I might develop a relationship with, about my desires for other women. We discovered rather quickly that we were sexually compatible, and the transition to discussing sexual fantasies was pretty much natural. While not the only thing, this open line of communication between us has been a key element in keeping us together and leading to many fantasies becoming reality.

I know this is not the case with every couple. Many have fears of talking about their fantasies with their spouse. In some situations it may be best to leave fantasies regulated to ones self. In others, the couple may find it opens up a whole new world of sexual adventures and possibilities that draw them closer together. We have seen it go both ways with others. One thing we have noticed through the years, is that if there is not an open line of communication, it is often a sign of other, underlying problems in the relationship. But for those who can listen to their partners thoughts, wishes and desires, the bedroom can be a very, very interesting place to be

 

[write_or_wrong]

In our case I was bisexual when I met my husband and learned from a previous relationship that I needed to be honest and open up front with any new man in my life, that I might develop a relationship with, about my desires for other women. We discovered rather quickly that we were sexually compatible, and the transition to discussing sexual fantasies was pretty much natural. While not the only thing, this open line of communication between us has been a key element in keeping us together and leading to many fantasies becoming reality.

I know this is not the case with every couple. Many have fears of talking about their fantasies with their spouse. In some situations it may be best to leave fantasies regulated to ones self. In others, the couple may find it opens up a whole new world of sexual adventures and possibilities that draw them closer together. We have seen it go both ways with others. One thing we have noticed through the years, is that if there is not an open line of communication, it is often a sign of other, underlying problems in the relationship. But for those who can listen to their partners thoughts, wishes and desires, the bedroom can be a very, very interesting place to be

You should be counseling/advising engaged couples as a profession. I wish I had heard advice like that before I got married. And frankly, before I entered into relationships after my divorce. It's just logic after all, either get it all out upfront or be frustrated by differences later. And if full disclosure terminates the association, think of it as time saved before considering an alternative partnership. Thank you!

 

[CliimaxForYou]

I don't think I'll ever open up completely to my husband. I know him so well and know how he'll react. It's so much easier to talk to with faceless strangers than someone close to me

I get that. Seems like such a shame though. My relationships were always much more fulfilling when I had this type of communication within the relationship. Part of what makes a significant other significant.

 

[CliimaxForYou]

You should be counseling/advising engaged couples as a profession. I wish I had heard advice like that before I got married. And frankly, before I entered into relationships after my divorce. It's just logic after all, either get it all out upfront or be frustrated by differences later. And if full disclosure terminates the association, think of it as time saved before considering an alternative partnership. Thank you!

This. Exactly this.

Courage versus fear. And courage doesn’t mean the absence of fear, it just means moving forward in spite of the fear.

 

[live4thebj]

Very easy. Besides, if you read my bio and stories it’s not hard to figure out what is my thing.

 

[lily_wall_]

Very easy. Besides, if you read my bio and stories it’s not hard to figure out what is my thing.

One just has to read your username to figure out your thing

 

[Edgeallday78]

Depends on the person but none so far have heard them all.

 

[live4thebj]

One just has to read your username to figure out your thing

It’s more than just bjs.

 

[SPARTAN047]

It's very difficult if you don't have someone with the same mindset, and they're very hard to find. They aren't always around so it can be tricky to chat regularly as well, so you can be left horny and frustrated sometimes.

 

[jd_sw]

Most people have some kind of sexual fantasy. You just have to keep poking until you find the right one.

 

[DaddyforhisKitten]

In my case, it was two things that led to my wife and I being able to discuss any sexual topic/fantasy with each other.

The first is the fact that she was sexually unsatisfied in her previous relationship. After that ended and I came into the picture, she realized there were things she wanted to explore that she didn't want to just ignore this time. So she would bring up things she wanted to try here and there when she got the courage.

The second thing is basically what broke what was remaining of that dam. There was a group chat between three of us (me, wife and her friend) that was a bit sexually charged that day. Her friend made a comment about us tying up my wife and me having my way with her (the friend) while the wife watched. My wife remarked that she was very turned on by that idea. That got us discussing threesomes in general and we felt much closer to each other after that discussion.

Since then, we've become much more comfortable discussing different scenarios/fantasies that seem hot to us for one reason or another. We're confident that the person being told isn't going to think badly or hold it against the other and that we can discuss it without any pressure from either side. There are times where she's still a bit hesitant to bring up new things depending on what they entail, but those just require a bit more time for her to build up courage before telling me or for her to feel like it's a good time to bring it up.

Or I just need to get her really turned on and see if she blurts out a new fantasy a random. Those are always a fun surprise to receive.

 

[Sarge9mm]

I talk about mine and most come true the others oh well maybe one Day

 

[SPARTAN047]

I want to do it all before I die.

 

[zoso682001]

I want to do it all before I die.

Don't give up ! It can happen , it did for me .

 

[SPARTAN047]

Don't give up ! It can happen , it did for me .

I'll try not to, I know it's not easy.

 

[HijabLady_UK]

It can be hard to find the right people to talk about such things in a fulfilling and understanding way, especially if you have a very particular thought or desire too.

 

[newhere2learn]

I find it very easy to those who have the same mindset!

I'd agree. I've dated women who wouldn't discuss at all, and any form of discussion was very hard work.

Equally, had play partners and a couple of flings whom were open and everything was discussed, which was great.

 

[Cuckwannabe111]

I think it's easier to talk to strangers about them, no fear of judgement or being looked at differently. Hence why this place is popular

 

[WonderPonder]

Use to be frustrating for me as my wife even when aroused was never really into it. I asked her several times what her fantasies were and she'd always say she didn't have any. Just her reaction made me clam up about mine.
She hit menopause last year in May and it was like a switch flipped. I honestly have the, who is this woman and what has she done with my wife moments many times. It's like Invasion of the Body snatchers.
------
Now we're in a hotwife-cuckold lifestyle with one other man who's our neighbor. She certainly has no problem talking about sex and fantasies openly now.

 

[zoso682001]

Use to be frustrating for me as my wife even when aroused was never really into it. I asked her several times what her fantasies were and she'd always say she didn't have any. Just her reaction made me clam up about mine.
She hit menopause last year in May and it was like a switch flipped. I honestly have the, who is this woman and what has she done with my wife moments many times. It's like Invasion of the Body snatchers.
------
Now we're in a hotwife-cuckold lifestyle with one other man who's our neighbor. She certainly has no problem talking about sex and fantasies openly now.

Can we assume things have changed for the better ?

 

[aziegmann]

Use to be frustrating for me as my wife even when aroused was never really into it. I asked her several times what her fantasies were and she'd always say she didn't have any. Just her reaction made me clam up about mine.
She hit menopause last year in May and it was like a switch flipped. I honestly have the, who is this woman and what has she done with my wife moments many times. It's like Invasion of the Body snatchers.
------
Now we're in a hotwife-cuckold lifestyle with one other man who's our neighbor. She certainly has no problem talking about sex and fantasies openly now.

What was the turning point to make her going from someone with any fantasies to a woman now open to hotwife/cuckold lifestyle and openly talking about sex? Details, please.

 

[DaddyforhisKitten]

I think it's easier to talk to strangers about them, no fear of judgement or being looked at differently. Hence why this place is popular

Regarding this place being popular, I have to imagine that being among a group you already know has a higher probability of being like minded individuals is a large component as well. The anonymity just enhances it.

 

[WonderPonder]

What was the turning point to make her going from someone with any fantasies to a woman now open to hotwife/cuckold lifestyle and openly talking about sex? Details, please.

Lots of changes in a short time. Her hitting menopause, her weight loss journey, new more outgoing personality.... things were going great sexually until late August of '23 I got diagnosed with cancer. A couple of other issues with the biggest being low heart function.
During treatment I brought up she should see someone until I got better. Leading up to this we were talking about sex and fantasies finally. Menopause made her libido skyrocket.
On New years eve she went out with another man and that's how it started. She saw him until June. It was great for her but I was only ever included once and it was really awkward.

My neighbor moved in a year and a half ago and I became friends with him. We watched football, hockey and baseball together and I confided in him about our new lifestyle.
After it ended with the other guy the three of us started hanging out as friends. I always was telling her that he wanted her and one night together we all talked and it happened with me only watching. We're still getting together with him and sometimes just them.
This arrangement is so much better than the first. We're still exploring new dimensions of hotwife-cuckold.

 

[Mommysboy84]

I don't think I'll ever open up completely to my husband. I know him so well and know how he'll react. It's so much easier to talk to with faceless strangers than someone close to me

I'm in the exact same boat with my wife. Honestly she's kinda bland and I have so many kinks I enjoy. It's a miracle we even ended up together.