How did we become sexual minded ?

[zoso682001]

So in a perfect* world, I’d be able to enjoy the sexual acts that my husband enjoys with him. While also getting the things I crave that he isn’t into, from a friend in a similar situation, guilt free.

Shouldn't this be available to husbands that don't align with their wives on the sexual level ?

 

[KatieDoes]

Shouldn't this be available to husbands that don't align with their wives on the sexual level ?

In an honest, open, and reciprocal manner? Of course.

 

[Jasmine12345]

I'd like a perfect world like that, where I can enjoy sex with somebody I'm not married to, just as I can camp or play music or or attend the symphony with people I'm not married to. And my wife can play cards, or see a movie, or have sex with somebody, whether I'm there or not. As for trying to figure out how to pull that off, I think that's one of the benefits of our brand of erotica: we can create this world in our heads, and let other people live in that world, too, and maybe -- just maybe -- think about how to put those worlds together.

good point

 

[hulmule]

Unless your new adventures require you to convince another person to do something they aren’t comfortable with. Which is what he‘s asking for advice on.

Not looking to change to make anyone do something their uncomfortable doing. But in my mind, people who aren't open about sex if you discuss with them and introduce them to the topic they feel more comfortable about it and open themselves up to experience new things.

 

[jehoram]

Not looking to change to make anyone do something their uncomfortable doing. But in my mind, people who aren't open about sex if you discuss with them and introduce them to the topic they feel more comfortable about it and open themselves up to experience new things.

True dat. And it applies to other things, as well. I've been bringing up the subject of my penchant for nudism to a friend of mine, and she's getting curious enough to explore the subject with me when we talk. I'd like her to get to the point where she'll accompany me to a nudist resort and feel for herself what social nudity is all about. So far, I'd say the odds are still less than 50%, but at least she's more comfortable discussing the subject.

 

[hulmule]

True dat. And it applies to other things, as well. I've been bringing up the subject of my penchant for nudism to a friend of mine, and she's getting curious enough to explore the subject with me when we talk. I'd like her to get to the point where she'll accompany me to a nudist resort and feel for herself what social nudity is all about. So far, I'd say the odds are still less than 50%, but at least she's more comfortable discussing the subject.

I agree, whats the issues of having an open discussion about anything in life !!

 

[Athalia]

I'm not sure what the question is, exactly. I'd been "sexual minded" ever since I realized that there were differences in the sexes in expectations and society roles and anatomy (rather fuzzily at that point... women had breasts, and men didn't), but that was all in a very abstract way. But when I started having periods and growing boobs of my own, it suddenly became very real. Boys and men looked at me differently, and life became more complicated every month. These things happened before I started experiencing real sexual urges. I mean, I knew that in some fairy-tale way I'd fall in love with a guy and he with me, but actual thoughts about fucking didn't come until later.

 

[hedonisatlurist]

I'm asexual, and I've never been sexually-minded. (If I'm understanding what you're asking.)

So if you are not sexual-minded, do you like orgasms?

 

[Athalia]

So if you are not sexual-minded, do you like orgasms?

That is a good question. Many women have never had a real orgasm, since it takes time and effort for some of them to unlock the pleasures of their bodies. And I've met a couple of women who apparently achieve orgasm but don't associate the process with any affinity to males or females. For them, it's just a rush, like a hit you'd get from a bong.

There's room on this planet for all of us, with our particular responses to sexual situations.

 

[hulmule]

Another interesting note on "female" orgasms.

An anal pneumatic probe (butt plug designed for scientific research, capable of taking measurements of pelvic floor contractions associated with orgasm) was used in neuroscientist Nicole Prause's sex study.

The study had participants masturbate with their hands, and with a vibrator provided by a toy company (that was not controlling the study). Each participant had to press a button to indicate when the orgasm started, then stopped. 2 times out of the 42 attempts produced physiological orgasms (rectal contractions), but the questionnaire following each attempt showed that the female participants believed they were having orgasms. Greater or lesser degree, and, as was the basis of this study as well, those who were heavier porn users tended to have stronger and longer orgasmic sensations even though they had no porn handy for the experiment attempts.

You can read more about it here: https://neo*****/2019/02/paging-doctor-orgasm/ Probably less annoying than a medical journal link, not that I want to go digging for that

Main point I wanted to make was how there is the psychological and physiological side to the orgasm, and how the asexual person may experience the a- of sexuality in different degrees. Just because the physical reaction is not totally there, doesn't mean one isn't having a satisfactory mental/ spiritual/ emotional experience, either by themselves or with/ for someone else.

yes good point. Some woman just dont moan, groan and thrash all over the bed. My main question and maybe i wored wrong, wondering how people got their start. Born with it or taught, or ?? how it developed in their lives.

 

[IsItBad]

So how did you become sexual? Do you think it was your genes? Upbringing? Exposed to it in an early or late change in life? Some people never seem to even care about sex. Im curious how and why we become the way we are . For me i've always been very sexual.For as long as i can rememeber , a high sex drive and my mind is still there. Sometimes i wish i wasn't ,so i could focus on more things. To me it's been in my genes. Thoughts?

I do think of this often. What makes us how we are? Why do we find the things hot that we do? Etc. Well, as for me, I can attribute alot of it to specific girls. 1) my sister. I had one of the hottest, most beautiful sisters around. She was 3 years older than me. We lived in a 2 story house with me and her upstairs and mom and dad downstairs. She almost always wore nothing but panties and a t shirt or tank top upstairs. I grew up seeing her amazing body in panties pretty much every day. It created a great love for panties, for a girls butt, for seeing how fabric can conform to one's parts, etc. 2) my sister had a best friend whose name was dorothy. she spent alot of time at our house. She was a very tall beautiful nordic looking girl. she would come to my room and play games for hours with me......almost always with no bra on and just her panties. i first became aware of major hard-ons from her sitting across from me indian style as we played chess or backgammon....her sitting there indian style.....her blonde bush bulging out from her panties.....her big pink areolas and nipples so obvious.......creating a lifelong love of those things......it was dorothy who caused me to learn to take matters into my own hands. i do think there is certainly a genetic component involved......both our genes and our nurture and surroundings......the specifics are what makes it how it is

 

[hulmule]

I do think of this often. What makes us how we are? Why do we find the things hot that we do? Etc. Well, as for me, I can attribute alot of it to specific girls. 1) my sister. I had one of the hottest, most beautiful sisters around. She was 3 years older than me. We lived in a 2 story house with me and her upstairs and mom and dad downstairs. She almost always wore nothing but panties and a t shirt or tank top upstairs. I grew up seeing her amazing body in panties pretty much every day. It created a great love for panties, for a girls butt, for seeing how fabric can conform to one's parts, etc. 2) my sister had a best friend whose name was dorothy. she spent alot of time at our house. She was a very tall beautiful nordic looking girl. she would come to my room and play games for hours with me......almost always with no bra on and just her panties. i first became aware of major hard-ons from her sitting across from me indian style as we played chess or backgammon....her sitting there indian style.....her blonde bush bulging out from her panties.....her big pink areolas and nipples so obvious.......creating a lifelong love of those things......it was dorothy who caused me to learn to take matters into my own hands. i do think there is certainly a genetic component involved......both our genes and our nurture and surroundings......the specifics are what makes it how it is

Great reply. Yes i would that would get most young men a nice hard on. I remember a lot of things like this in my life. My friend had sister, who had sleep overs. Would see the same things. Woke up my sexuality seeing them running around the same way.

 

[IsItBad]

Great reply. Yes i would that would get most young men a nice hard on. I remember a lot of things like this in my life. My friend had sister, who had sleep overs. Would see the same things. Woke up my sexuality seeing them running around the same way.

one of my best friends sisters was a gymnast. she had the most beautiful ass. she was maybe 2 years older than me. she too would run around in her panties. somehow she began to notice how much i adored her panties and panty clad butt. one day she called me into her room and asked me if id help her fold her clothes. every time she came to a pair of her panties she'd throw them to me to fold. there she was....smoking hot.....letting me know that she was onto me and realized how much of a turn on her panties were to me. after that, she made a point to leave her dirty clothes and panties in the bathroom where i could check them out. it was awesome. nothing ever happened between me and her but she provided me great fantasy material for years. we remain good friends to this day.

 

[hedonisatlurist]

Another interesting note on "female" orgasms.

An anal pneumatic probe (butt plug designed for scientific research, capable of taking measurements of pelvic floor contractions associated with orgasm) was used in neuroscientist Nicole Prause's sex study.

The study had participants masturbate with their hands, and with a vibrator provided by a toy company (that was not controlling the study). Each participant had to press a button to indicate when the orgasm started, then stopped. 2 times out of the 42 attempts produced physiological orgasms (rectal contractions), but the questionnaire following each attempt showed that the female participants believed they were having orgasms. Greater or lesser degree, and, as was the basis of this study as well, those who were heavier porn users tended to have stronger and longer orgasmic sensations even though they had no porn handy for the experiment attempts.

You can read more about it here: https://neo*****/2019/02/paging-doctor-orgasm/ Probably less annoying than a medical journal link, not that I want to go digging for that

Main point I wanted to make was how there is the psychological and physiological side to the orgasm, and how the asexual person may experience the a- of sexuality in different degrees. Just because the physical reaction is not totally there, doesn't mean one isn't having a satisfactory mental/ spiritual/ emotional experience, either by themselves or with/ for someone else.

very interesting i will follow it up

 

[the_single_gal_unconfidential]

I have a clit.
and that is just the first thing in that region that gives me orgasms.

 

[lanceGibs]

I have a clit.
and that is just the first thing in that region that gives me orgasms.

I am sure you have other things in that nether region that compliment your clit.

 

[Maxiine]

Q: How did we become sexual minded ?​

A: Another thread that seems to be designed to get me suspended or banned... Some primitive species are asexual, others are sexual, and I had better stop right there...

 

[Athalia]

I have a clit.
and that is just the first thing in that region that gives me orgasms.

And did your sexuality begin with that relationship you had to your clit?

My first orgasm was through clitoral stimulation, while masturbating in the bath with one of those detachable shower heads. It was a revelation to me that I could unlock that part of myself, the part that could give my body such intense pleasure. But I can't say that I became "sexually minded" at that point. That happened long before, when I realized that men and women had not only different bodies but different expectations, and different ways of looking at each other. It was a matter of seeing that I, as a female, had a different role to play, and a different skill set that was required to play that role.