How Do I Let My Boyfriend Know...

[IrisAlthea]

What started out to be a short reply has grown... so apologies for that.

I've been struggling with this one myself lately - I've been in the most amazing relationship for the past 8 years (This is the first man who ever brought me to orgasm, and I'm 39 years old). But there's still always been something missing. I've had submissive fantasies for as long as I can remember, even as a little girl. And I'd honestly not missed it til now.. just enjoyed them as a fantasy. But just recently within the past 2 months he's started being a little more dominant in the bedroom. Light spanks here and there (yes, all the right places) being the extent of his foray.. and I'm realizing just how much I want him to REALLY take charge in the bedroom, and just how insanely crazy it would make me if he did.
Don't get me wrong, the man is godly. It's almost like a game with him, to see how many times he can make me come in one night. I just want .... that one final piece of the picture.

Now, it's probably a lot easier for a dominant person to tell their partner, or to initiate what they want. But for someone who's really submissive?! Telling someone what you want them to do is incredibly hard, and really would ruin the experience for me - especially since I know he's sweet enough to do it "for me" whether or not he enjoyed it himself.

So, being the coward that I am, I bought him a gift certificate to an adult toy store, and told him to find something he'd like to try. That totally backfired. He's not willing to take that step without my input (very considerate... now if only I wanted him to BE considerate about this!). I doubt I'll make it through the parking lot without blushing, even before I get into the store. And I have no idea whether I'll manage to get my point across inside. I sure as heck won't have the guts to tell him I want him to tie me up, be forceful, take my 'final virginity'....

Sadly we've already SEEN the Secretary, or I would take the previously posted advice, because that sounds like the best idea I've seen so far. Are there any other movies that are similar? Quality movies?

No, I don´t think it is easier for a dominant person, because your partner might still not like the idea and want to leave.
I get the feeling that you don´t want to let him know what it is you want. If you want him to magically want the same thing and take the initiative without you having to talk about it at all, I think you are expecting a bit too much.

 

[Netzach]

I get the feeling that you don´t want to let him know what it is you want. If you want him to magically want the same thing and take the initiative without you having to talk about it at all, I think you are expecting a bit too much.

Meanie. Big awful meanie.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Meanie. Big awful meanie.

I´m bad.

 

[muppiethesecond]

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[ElegantlyElle]

Okay,
So I really have no idea how to let my current boyfriend know that i'm into BDSM without like...
Scaring him off.
I just don't really know how he would react to it.
Any tips?

Oh, man. I just went through this with my fiance and I can understand how hard it is to tell him what you want, need, desire. I'm lucky enough that he believes in honesty and talking, but I still couldn't tell him everything. I started out telling him what I liked the very first time we were making out and he was playing with my nipples. He nipped at them and I begged him to bite harder. Which he did. It went on from there. He walked past one day and spanked me, I told him I liked that and he should do it more often. Surprisingly, the hardest thing for me to tell him was that I wanted him to cum on my tits or anywhere he wanted. We were in bed and I started laughing, when I wouldn't tell him why, he actually rolled away from me and wouldn't talk until I told him what I wanted. That was the worst hour of my life. I finally told him and after that, I realized I could tell him anything and he would try his best to do it for me. Now I'm not afraid to tell him anything.

In the end, as dorky as this sounds, you just have to suck it up and tell him something that embarasses you. After that it's a piece of cake. I still have moments of, "Oh, my God! I can't believe I told him that. He's going to dump me for sure," but if you know your relationship is solid you're not going to do anything that will scare him away.

Good luck.