How do women hold back orgasm?

[Nezhul]

I've seen men do it too ..it seems a similar process

Never seen that, but if its possible I'd love to learn.
I know how to stay away from the edge - not indefinitely but longer.
How to hold it despite whatever stimulation is coming my way - no idea

 

[John Blackhawk]

Strangely i've always thought this sort of thing was similar to a family guy scene where a ceiling fan is lowered uncomfortably close to Quagmire's (major perv) family jewels. Basically he thought of things that would kill his hard on.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Wow ... I'm surprised this thread got so far before anyone weighed in with an actual answer.

This is something I do a bit with my in-charge guy in real life, and used to previously with an online/phone friend who used to like to make me edge as well. So yes, it's an actual thing, and it doesn't mean that the non-controlled orgasms aren't 'real'. But the orgasm I have after being made to hold off for a while is different - my BF describes it as much more of a 'release', and that sort of makes sense. (That's not a synonym for 'more intense' - it's a qualitative, not quantitative difference.)

But as to how you do it (and even after my wise-arse 'actual answer' comment) ... I don't know how I'd explain it. It's a mental thing for me, not physical, or at least I'm not aware of a physical aspect. He just says 'wait', and I wait. It's definitely not easy, but its doable - there's a huge amount of tension in the 'waiting' bit. I think we often forget how much orgasm are (or at least can be) in our heads as much as our bodies - I've also cum without any genital stimulation at all.

As for the 'why would you?' question, which is a bloody good one - if you're working within a control dynamic, you do it because that's what they want. It works the other way too - I've been told to keep cumming as well.

Nezhul, if you want, you could flick through the section of what you're writing where this happens, and I could see if I can write around it a bit to give you something to work with?

I agree with KimGordon... it's a mental thing where you are paying as much attention to what is happening as you are to feeling it happen.

If he says wait, I wait... I may whimper and moan and plead. .. and when he says to cum, it's like a flood of relief, so unlike a regular orgasm which is your body ... this waiting and obeying is in your mind and your body.

 

[numeniusa]

Seriously, if you ask "why?" - that's a question based on lack of knowledge.

Not always. (I am familiar with edging ) But we should always ask 'why'. And 'how', and any other questions which occur to us, because they elicit such interesting answers. Which is what has happened in this thread

I agree with KimGordon... it's a mental thing where you are paying as much attention to what is happening as you are to feeling it happen.

If he says wait, I wait... I may whimper and moan and plead. .. and when he says to cum, it's like a flood of relief, so unlike a regular orgasm which is your body ... this waiting and obeying is in your mind and your body.

... and KimGordon's answer and the one above help answer the 'why would you' question very nicely with respect to the holding off the orgasm even through continued stimulation right at the edge. It's not for me, but I understand better now. Thank you, ladies!

I have another question. (I hope this isn't hijacking).

Is it different if the continued stimulation at the edge is supplied by another physical person, or by yourself at his/her instruction? Is one easier or more difficult than the other?

 

[christinecuddlewell]

I had a partner who used to like to make me beg him to let me come and once he had me really aroused he could set me coming when he wanted me to so that there was no way I could prevent it. So, my experience was that what you are trying to describe takes practice. As he gains experience your partner gets better and better at reading when you are about to come and becomes more skilful at not pushing you too hard. What my late hubby did, when he wanted to draw things out, was ease back a little if I was really close so that if I concentrated on something like breathing slowly and evenly, not easy under the circumstances, I could delay my orgasm for a few seconds. Then I would just keep stringing those few seconds together one after another until finally he deliberately pushed me over the edge. Anything that distracts you a little can be helpful, tensing muscles, trying to wiggle just your big toe, wiggle you nose or ears, I suppose you could lie back and think of England even.

Finally, a few words of warning, if the person being edged is tied up and you overdo things there is a serious danger that instead of the ecstasy of orgasm you might find them enduring the agony of serious cramp or ending up with really nasty rope burns.

 

[KimGordon67]

Not always. (I am familiar with edging ) But we should always ask 'why'. And 'how', and any other questions which occur to us, because they elicit such interesting answers. Which is what has happened in this thread



... and KimGordon's answer and the one above help answer the 'why would you' question very nicely with respect to the holding off the orgasm even through continued stimulation right at the edge. It's not for me, but I understand better now. Thank you, ladies!

I have another question. (I hope this isn't hijacking).

Is it different if the continued stimulation at the edge is supplied by another physical person, or by yourself at his/her instruction? Is one easier or more difficult than the other?

N - that's an interesting question. Honestly, I don't think there's a lot of difference physically, but the intensity is far greater if the other person is there physically. When I'm with my BF, the fact that he can feel it in my body, and see it in my eyes, makes it much more ... well, intense. With the phone friend I had, he obviously had to rely on just aural cues as to what was going on ... although that has an intensity all of it's own. (Interestingly, in response to what BFG said, I remember a while back someone asking for synonyms for the sounds women make during, and me channelling Little Miss Pissy and saying something like 'I'm sure I've never 'whimpered' in my life!' ... but that moment is definitely one in which I whimper.)

An enjoyable variation on this is that I have to lie extremely still while he plays with me. I'm allowed to cum if I want to, but just not move. Again, it's about controlling things that would just happen without you thinking about them, but in a different way.

 

[fire_breeze]

Ok, this is a very odd-ball question, but I need it for the story.

Thing is, I know women can hold back their orgasms and not cum, even if continually stimulated on the edge. At least some of them can.

But I have no idea how? Do you relax, or on the other hand tense some muscles? Is it just a matter of conscious choice (like, all in the head)? Is it something else?

I have a 1st person story and I would like to know better how this type of thing happens.

As a man, I know how to hold back longer during sex, but when you get to the edge it's pretty much a clear choice between stopping and resting or cumming. You can't choose not to cum and keep edging. Or at least I don't know of it.
But girls I'm pretty sure are different.

Every woman is different, every orgasm is different. While some release can creep up rather quickly, most requires a build up that is familiar. You know the points, and so you try to stave off those points before you get to the one of no-return (and yes, those with clitorises can also have points of no-return).

When you masturbate, you may ease off a bit on the stimulation, breathe into it, relax your muscles (or tense them) to prolong or heighten your pleasure. Same thing. Depending on the woman, they may breathe into it, relax a bit, try to focus on something else or actually encourage their partner to lessen the stimulation. As each woman, each encounter, each orgasm is different, so too is each holding said orgasm will be different.

Some people like to cum together, so the one who realises that they are getting to points where they may not be able to hold off may begin to edge or focus on something else before being brought/bringing themselves back to the same level as their partner(s). Same thing.

There is, by the way, so such thing as holding back too much, which then results in a ruined orgasm. It's all about balance.

 

[Emmeline]

I suppose you could lie back and think of England even

Sorry, that cracked me up!

 

[ISeeYouToo]

plain bad sex. it's addictive.

 

[Monica_112]

Never seen that, but if its possible I'd love to learn.
I know how to stay away from the edge - not indefinitely but longer.
How to hold it despite whatever stimulation is coming my way - no idea

It's the same for women. There's a point of no return. No woman under the right stimulation can hold off indefinitely. Maybe we are talking at cross purposes if you believe any kind of orgasm can be indefintaely avoided

 

[Nezhul]

It's the same for women. There's a point of no return. No woman under the right stimulation can hold off indefinitely. Maybe we are talking at cross purposes if you believe any kind of orgasm can be indefintaely avoided

some of the answers in this thread lead me to believe that some women can.

 

[MistressMaggie]

By looking at your gross, doughy body. HAHAHA

 

[Hannah90]

Willpower, you just keep yourself going. I can cum over and over if I want to but I can also hold it back by willpower, clenching my muscles, and accepting it's not time to cum knowing that cumming in the end will be more powerful, and will feel so much more intense. All you need is control, and you can make it work for whatever situation. X

 

[RedSilk69]

It's much like trying to stop a sneeze. Sometimes you can hold it in but the tickle is still there. Sometimes you make a real mess of things.

Ditto Well put!!!

 

[srgreene]

Willpower, you just keep yourself going. I can cum over and over if I want to but I can also hold it back by willpower, clenching my muscles, and accepting it's not time to cum knowing that cumming in the end will be more powerful, and will feel so much more intense. All you need is control, and you can make it work for whatever situation. X

To me it is (more was, actually) a matter of a yuge O, which left me not wanting anything more just now, thankyouverymuch, or a series of smaller, but still satisfying O's. Those could continue for hours.

 

[srgreene]

Willpower, you just keep yourself going. I can cum over and over if I want to but I can also hold it back by willpower, clenching my muscles, and accepting it's not time to cum knowing that cumming in the end will be more powerful, and will feel so much more intense. All you need is control, and you can make it work for whatever situation. X

To me it is (more was, actually) a matter of a yuge O, which left me not wanting anything more just now, thankyouverymuch, or a series of smaller, but still satisfying O's. Those could go on for hours.

 

[Spartygrl13]

Willpower, you just keep yourself going. I can cum over and over if I want to but I can also hold it back by willpower, clenching my muscles, and accepting it's not time to cum knowing that cumming in the end will be more powerful, and will feel so much more intense. All you need is control, and you can make it work for whatever situation. X

This. 100% this.

I can withhold for long periods of time. Edging often. I know how to stop it. It's in my Mind and I have the control of muscle there to stop. It takes time and experience stopping yourself from going over. Practice. Practice. Practice. It is easy to let it happen, trust me, but if you learn your body it can be controlled. I recommend trying for a day. When you make the decision to finally cum, I believe you will have an intense orgasm.

 

[Spartygrl13]

One more quick tip.

Using your fingers allows you to control the orgasm much easier than with a toy. I am getting better with my hands. It still almost released yesterday.

Some of the toys, ESPECIALLY the Hitachi Wanda and Rabbits are so hard to hold it back. I fail with the wand because even when i desperately want to control it, that machine takes ahold
Of the muscles and your body starts to contract. I need to practice more with them.

If you have questions, feel free to ask.

 

[JulieAnn42]

When I am close to a climax, I don 't want to hold it back.

 

[plesmore]

the easiest way is for the guy to call you be some other woman's name - that will hold back a lot of things.............

 

[cascadiabound]

Wow ... I'm surprised this thread got so far before anyone weighed in with an actual answer.

This is something I do a bit with my in-charge guy in real life, and used to previously with an online/phone friend who used to like to make me edge as well. So yes, it's an actual thing, and it doesn't mean that the non-controlled orgasms aren't 'real'. But the orgasm I have after being made to hold off for a while is different - my BF describes it as much more of a 'release', and that sort of makes sense. (That's not a synonym for 'more intense' - it's a qualitative, not quantitative difference.)

But as to how you do it (and even after my wise-arse 'actual answer' comment) ... I don't know how I'd explain it. It's a mental thing for me, not physical, or at least I'm not aware of a physical aspect. He just says 'wait', and I wait. It's definitely not easy, but its doable - there's a huge amount of tension in the 'waiting' bit. I think we often forget how much orgasm are (or at least can be) in our heads as much as our bodies - I've also cum without any genital stimulation at all.

As for the 'why would you?' question, which is a bloody good one - if you're working within a control dynamic, you do it because that's what they want. It works the other way too - I've been told to keep cumming as well.

Nezhul, if you want, you could flick through the section of what you're writing where this happens, and I could see if I can write around it a bit to give you something to work with?

As I read through this thread I am also surprised how long it took anyone to engage you seriously Nezhul.

Edge play is pretty common in D/s relationships and I find seriously increases the intensity of my cum when I am finally permitted.
I think you might have gotten along better with your thread in BDSM talk. I would echo Kim Gordon's offer to look at what you have written and see if I have 2 cents to offer to you from my perspective. I am not so comfortable with just blurting it all out on an open thread.

 

[sidonie45]

HelloNezhul, I see this was first posted in November, so this may be a tad late for you.

As each man has his own rhythm and style when it come to doing the deed, so to do women. The way we achieve orgasim is not the same for all women, and the same applies to the feeling of the orgasim. Some women believe they don't achieve orgasim because the experience is mild, while other women scream because of the intensity.

So it goes with edging. How one woman edges differs from others.

I even edge differently, and this is due to what I'm actually doing at the time. Fucking, mastubation with a toy or fingers, or pillow humping will require edging differently, but the basics is roughly the same.

It can be a slight shift of your torso, changing the rhythm slightly, or just taming the thoughts that's going through my mind (the mind can be a stimulating sex organ on its own). But one thing I never do is stop. For me, stopping just kills the mood.

One time, I edge with a pillow for so long, that when I came, I had a rolling orgasm and for a time, I didn't think it was going to stop.

All the best for your story.

 

[sarabrowning]

Cannot Suppress an Orgasm Indefinitely

It's the same for women. There's a point of no return. No woman under the right stimulation can hold off indefinitely. Maybe we are talking at cross purposes if you believe any kind of orgasm can be indefintaely avoided

I cannot suppress an orgasm indefinitely, whether the stimulation is solo or by a partner. I also agree that denying myself and being held on the edge does not provide the sexual release that an orgasm does. However, once I climax my libido is diminished for a day or two, but if I deny myself, I have that marvelous feeling of being under extreme sexual tension all day long and a constant ache for sex. Longing to be subjected to the joy of being "edged", again.

 

[hpycpl]

the easiest way is for the guy to call you be some other woman's name - that will hold back a lot of things.............

LMFAO ! !

too funny!

but really, don't you think it would be similar to how a man keeps (or tries to) from cumming?

baseball stats, work related problems, imagining the three stooges are never to be shown again....etc etc etc

maybe women can think about the sales on shoes she's missing, the bitch at work, the car that needs fixing...etc etc etc

 

[Nezhul]

thinking of baseball is a bad practice. While works, it's not nearly the best nor the most effective one. So yeah, I never did that.