How do you feel about friends with benefits?

[flirtygirly]

With former FWB's I approached it like a business deal. No strings, no clingy, we screw, explore, experiment....had a freeking blast and was some of the best times I've ever had. That being said I had two favs...one helped me explore things I'd not done before. The other was a bit more shy...but we had fun more often.

Well...all that ended when feelings became involved (was unavoidable, when you like someone, you like someone). Have been dating one of them for a couple years now. The other I keep in touch with online a couple times a year.

If you have the opportunity and can set boundaries or have an agreeement, go for it. It could be the most fun you've ever had!

 

[mouse_146]

miss my fwb
still friends, just no benefits any more as he has a girlfriend

 

[BongoGal]

miss my fwb
still friends, just no benefits any more as he has a girlfriend

That's a crappy feeling. I recall a couple of times being very much in the mood for a roll in the hay and being disappointed to discover that my fwb was benefiting someone else on a regular basis. I wasn't resentful or jealous, but it sure was frustrating, like being thirsty and discovering that the bottle of water you had been counting on wasn't in the fridge. One time I managed to discover that the fwb was in a relationship before I embarrassed myself, but one other time I sidled up to a guy and whispered a crude suggestion that we go somewhere and fuck, and then had him let me down gently.

 

[Afterhours22]

Still missing BEST FWB.....

So maybe my emotional attachment to her was a little stronger than friends. I never let her know that though and I don't plan on it. She is married and plans on staying that way. She told me that from the beginning, when we first decided to take our best friendship to the next level, so I don't plan on revealing that to her and jeopardize that friendship. It's been almost 6 months now that she has moved away and I think about her every day. Oh and we still talk on the phone occasionally and have some really great phone sex.

 

[mouse_146]

That's a crappy feeling. I recall a couple of times being very much in the mood for a roll in the hay and being disappointed to discover that my fwb was benefiting someone else on a regular basis. I wasn't resentful or jealous, but it sure was frustrating, like being thirsty and discovering that the bottle of water you had been counting on wasn't in the fridge. One time I managed to discover that the fwb was in a relationship before I embarrassed myself, but one other time I sidled up to a guy and whispered a crude suggestion that we go somewhere and fuck, and then had him let me down gently.

Thanks. I knew he was going to start looking again. He has been divorced for several years and although he does not live super close, we were fwb for nearly 2 years. He told me he wanted to set up online dating profile and wanted my input. He just kept saying he was thinking of this a process over next few months. Not even 2 weeks later he is seeing 3 gals and thinking of getting serious with one. And though he has not been intimate with any; he says being with me would be unfair to them. I just wanted one last good hard fuck as a goodbye. I do not think that is too much to ask

 

[Porkwarrior]

I just wanted one last good hard fuck as a goodbye. I do not think that is too much to ask

It's really the least he could do.


Part of the fun of being with a FWB is the fleetingness of it, it is a relationship but without the pressures of it being "serious". The downside is one of you is going to end it first, and it never is fun being the one left squirming.
Don't worry, I am sure the Lit community will band together and help you get through these troubling times. Or at a minimum at least one satisfying orgasm tonight.

 

[tigerlilyxx]

Actually, all of the guys I've had sex with we're FWB situations, so you could say I'm a fan. I've found that it depends on a lot of things, though. Generally talking things out like expectations and what not has worked best for me. But I definitely appreciate them and don't know what I'd do if I never got the chance again.

 

[Afterhours22]

thanks for your input...

and from seeing your photos.... those are very lucky friends you have..

Actually, all of the guys I've had sex with we're FWB situations, so you could say I'm a fan. I've found that it depends on a lot of things, though. Generally talking things out like expectations and what not has worked best for me. But I definitely appreciate them and don't know what I'd do if I never got the chance again.

 

[tigerlilyxx]

and from seeing your photos.... those are very lucky friends you have..

Thank you!

 

[C2W]

---

I would just to have the benefit of feeling a friend...

 

[harry8copeland]

......

 

[Lia Monde]

My first friend with benefits was a really close girlfriend. We were close and shared all sorts of things: gossip, study, clothes, and feelings. When we acknowledged that we both were horny and inexperienced and not with anyone, it evolved into helping each other explore and experiment. Awkward at first as 2 amateurs flailing around. But practice makes perfect. It brought us closer. The intimacy and raw sex was fun, and thrilling in a taboo tinged way. The benefits were that we got better at sex and forged a lifelong bond.

 

[whynotjustsayit]

How do I feel about friends with benefits ? I need one !

 

[cliteatingman]

How do I feel about friends with benefits ? I need one !

I need one too!!

 

[help_me_Rhonda]

Missing my FWB...

 

[Sundayschild]

I'd love a fwb. Currently the closest I get is having a mate with a van...

 

[r_mck]

It's perfectly fine if you can keep yourself from developing feelings for each other.

 

[Porkwarrior]

It's perfectly fine if you can keep yourself from developing feelings for each other.

Feelings is inevitable.
Overcoming those feelings is the darkside of FWB's. Oddly enough just as much a problem (if not more) with men than it is with women.

Guys! Don't get "ishy" until you know it will be reciprocated! Nothing is a bigger turn off than a needy FWB. Heh, okay "needs" are fine, but "needy" is NOT!

 

[heather_baby]

I had an FWB for about five years ongoing. Even we were both in our separate relationships. I'm not sure what it is about him. We just clicked. But for some reason, we never had a real relationship. Even though it seemed we were perfect sex partners for each other. And we were great friends as well. It just never happened that way for us I guess.

 

[EctoJohn]

I've never tried it, but I would give it a go.
I'd be worried about feelings forming, though, and not being able to be just friends.

 

[Afterhours22]

Excellent...

I'm very happy to hear how well it has gone for you.

I had an FWB for about five years ongoing. Even we were both in our separate relationships. I'm not sure what it is about him. We just clicked. But for some reason, we never had a real relationship. Even though it seemed we were perfect sex partners for each other. And we were great friends as well. It just never happened that way for us I guess.

 

[pfflyerhot]

FWB? I like the term sexual relationship, better. I'd need a sexual partner who is comfortable, upfront, warm, respectful, honest, cozy, someone nice, who can appreciate what we can give each other. I want non judgmental communication and exploration, trust. And... I want the time we spend in physically intimacy to be enjoyable... or very nice... or even *gasp* kind of "special" at least when we're together. In other words, we have to be nice to each other, mutually respectful.
Bottom line: Negotiate your terms for FWB... talk about what you want, what you expect... revisit those negotiations from time to time. Don't be shady. Be human.


"Yeah, right lady. How's that workin' out for ya?" ... asks one internal voice of mine, now...

 

[Porkwarrior]

FWB? I like the term sexual relationship, better. I'd need a sexual partner who is comfortable, upfront, warm, respectful, honest, cozy, someone nice, who can appreciate what we can give each other. I want non judgmental communication and exploration, trust. And... I want the time we spend in physically intimacy to be enjoyable... or very nice... or even *gasp* kind of "special" at least when we're together. In other words, we have to be nice to each other, mutually respectful.
Bottom line: Negotiate your terms for FWB... talk about what you want, what you expect... revisit those negotiations from time to time. Don't be shady. Be human.


"Yeah, right lady. How's that workin' out for ya?" ... asks one internal voice of mine, now...

That would be a "fuck buddy", a FWB is somewhat the same, but immeasurably different. Just someone you can be with, but you don't yearn to be with ALL the time, but enjoy the time you do spend together, click together naked, but not every time you are together...it is a nebulous grey area of relationships. But they are valuable, and very treasured when they occur.

If any of that makes sense, haa haa.

 

[Porkwarrior]

I had an FWB for about five years ongoing. Even we were both in our separate relationships. I'm not sure what it is about him. We just clicked. But for some reason, we never had a real relationship. Even though it seemed we were perfect sex partners for each other. And we were great friends as well. It just never happened that way for us I guess.

My longest FWB lasted fifteen years. We lived together off & on for a few years but still dated other people, lived in a poly house with another married couple and a fifth for a few years, were separated for long periods when I was out of the country...but the longest we were apart in those 15 years was six months.

They really are odd, but still very treasured relationships. Although we both agreed the best thing we never did was marry each other. It's funny, but until you've been there it is hard to describe.

Although the sex...really was fantastic.

 

[ErinTheSlut]

I have a couple of FWBs for when my bf is out of town, which is most of the time. I'm bored tonight... Too late to make a booty call?