How he wants to punish me

[Etoile]

While this doesn't have a lot to do with anything, my limited exposure to enemas is that they're quite messy. His suggestion of giving you an enema while you lie across his lap seems to tell me that he's not likely familiar with them (unless he plans to punish you for making a mess on his lap).

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, anyone who is more experienced than I am in that particular area.

Enemas are actually not messy at all when done properly. Which is to say, head down, ass in the air. OTK is not a good position for giving an enema because the ass cannot be sufficiently in the air. The only way this could possibly work is if the PYL was sitting on the floor/bed with legs straight out in front of them, and pyl was in the head down/ass in air position OVER their knees. A couch might work too, kinda. But generally, OTK is not a position for an enema unless you like leaks.

 

[RawHumor]

Enemas are actually not messy at all when done properly. Which is to say, head down, ass in the air. OTK is not a good position for giving an enema because the ass cannot be sufficiently in the air. The only way this could possibly work is if the PYL was sitting on the floor/bed with legs straight out in front of them, and pyl was in the head down/ass in air position OVER their knees. A couch might work too, kinda. But generally, OTK is not a position for an enema unless you like leaks.

Thank you. I knew someone here would be able to confirm or correct my suspicions.

 

[Netzach]

Here's a better way of looking at this.

This either sits well in your heart of hearts, feels resoundingly right to you and you're dying for this man to punish you as he sees fit or it, uh

does not.

And I'm guessing the latter.

If you're going to submit to someone you will because you'll feel right doing it, not so confused about doing it you need poll results to tell you you obviously don't feel right about it for good reason.

Use the same common sense that got you through dating up till now, yes?

 

[WCHSP]

I think people here are maybe being overly harsh on the guy in question. I do agree that she shouldn't meet up with him... but I suspect that he probably has good intentions and is just ignorant about how to Dom properly -- which doesn't mean he isn't willing to learn or that he couldn't do an okay job!

He presumably figures that ordering people around, being strict, etc, is kind of the point of the whole thing, and that he's therefore justified in coming up with whatever sounds hot. Fact is that subs DO tend to like being ordered around... but within certain parameters, which aren't met here. Dude needs to learn how to do it properly.

 

[Adakgirl]

Overly harsh you say? let me direct you to his add here in the BDSM personals, then tell me if you still think we are being overly harsh in our opinions about this nitwit:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=656520

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I think people here are maybe being overly harsh on the guy in question. I do agree that she shouldn't meet up with him... but I suspect that he probably has good intentions and is just ignorant about how to Dom properly -- which doesn't mean he isn't willing to learn or that he couldn't do an okay job!

He presumably figures that ordering people around, being strict, etc, is kind of the point of the whole thing, and that he's therefore justified in coming up with whatever sounds hot. Fact is that subs DO tend to like being ordered around... but within certain parameters, which aren't met here. Dude needs to learn how to do it properly.

WCHSP, I think you are WAY too forgiving of egotistical and dangerous ignorance.

• Good intentions? The road to Hell is paved with them, if you'll remember your adages (which *become* adages because of their inherent truth).
• "Ignorant about how to Dom properly, which doesn't mean he isn't willing to learn or ... couldn't do an okay job?" 'Scuse me??? The crap that he posted/IMed to her implies great experience and surety in his proposed actions, but throws up more red flags to experienced PYLs/pyls than just about any post I've seen in *years!*
• "Figures that ordering people around, being strict, etc., is ... the point of the whole thing, and that he's therefore justified in coming up with whatever sounds hot?" Chit, mon! Okay, then... I figure fixing the economy and our health system are the point of being president, so I should just waltz into WashDC, take over the Oval Office and order the changes made that I think will do it, right?

The best point of your post is "Dude needs to learn how to do it properly." Um, YEAH! But you don't "learn how to do it properly" by finding some newbie pyl and just waling away on them with hand, hairbrush, belt and whatever else is handy (machetes, anyone?), shoving a nozzle up their ass and injecting (whatever unknown) liquid into their intestines, and buttfucking her whether she had any interest in it or not.

The guy is toxic. I reiterate my earlier post:

Don't walk away from this guy... RUN!

 

[Etoile]

Overly harsh you say? let me direct you to his add here in the BDSM personals, then tell me if you still think we are being overly harsh in our opinions about this nitwit:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=656520

How did we determine this is the guy in question?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

How did we determine this is the guy in question?

I think the leap was made because one of her other posts was a response to his thread.

 

[MisterSir]

A guess based on the original poster posting there...unfortunately, although the nitwit in question seems like an idiot, the original poster posted in his thread yesterday, thus making the timeline impossible unless one or the other is actually Booster Gold.

 

[Etoile]

A guess based on the original poster posting there...unfortunately, although the nitwit in question seems like an idiot, the original poster posted in his thread yesterday, thus making the timeline impossible unless one or the other is actually Booster Gold.

That's what I noticed too. *nods*

 

[ulikebigtits]

MisterSir you are correct. I don't even know the person that you guys are talking about. I may have posted something else yesterday, but he certainly isn't the person that I know. I agree that the guy that I know is being too strict too soon, but that is the reason I asked the question. Neither him nor I are new to this, but as I mentioned, I have not been with anyone as strict as he is. I admitted that I was unnecessarily rude and very disrespectful to him, but that doesn't mean I should get the punishment that he wants to give me. Again, I agree with everyone's input on that point. Thanks for all your comments.

 

[Adakgirl]

Yes well I made a quick assumption and didn't look at the time line and so I was wrong about that it happens...however I wouldn't recommend submiting to that Dom any more than I would the one she is with now and my advice remains the same.

 

[Etoile]

Does anybody wonder if he's just telling her this to get himself (or them both) off and it's not what things will really be like?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Does anybody wonder if he's just telling her this to get himself (or them both) off and it's not what things will really be like?

If so, then he's even *more* of an idiot, to set her up with expectations like that and then not follow through. Recipe for instant disappointment (even if some of the things are not what she wants) for both of them.

 

[RawHumor]

Does anybody wonder if he's just telling her this to get himself (or them both) off and it's not what things will really be like?

Something just seemed fake to me about all of it.

Maybe that was the hopeful optimist in me.

 

[WCHSP]

WCHSP, I think you are WAY too forgiving of egotistical and dangerous ignorance.

• Good intentions? The road to Hell is paved with them, if you'll remember your adages (which *become* adages because of their inherent truth).
• "Ignorant about how to Dom properly, which doesn't mean he isn't willing to learn or ... couldn't do an okay job?" 'Scuse me??? The crap that he posted/IMed to her implies great experience and surety in his proposed actions, but throws up more red flags to experienced PYLs/pyls than just about any post I've seen in *years!*
• "Figures that ordering people around, being strict, etc., is ... the point of the whole thing, and that he's therefore justified in coming up with whatever sounds hot?" Chit, mon! Okay, then... I figure fixing the economy and our health system are the point of being president, so I should just waltz into WashDC, take over the Oval Office and order the changes made that I think will do it, right?

The best point of your post is "Dude needs to learn how to do it properly." Um, YEAH! But you don't "learn how to do it properly" by finding some newbie pyl and just waling away on them with hand, hairbrush, belt and whatever else is handy (machetes, anyone?), shoving a nozzle up their ass and injecting (whatever unknown) liquid into their intestines, and buttfucking her whether she had any interest in it or not.

The guy is toxic. I reiterate my earlier post:

Don't walk away from this guy... RUN!

How do you expect him to learn, other than by trying and learning from his mistakes? Should he take a course or something?

There are a lot of safety-related things that people really should know before engaging in much BDSM, mostly related to specific activities.
Going to be doing bondage? Make sure you don't cut off blood supply, and have something handy so you can cut the ropes off quickly if something goes wrong.
Going to be flogging/beating? Avoid a few specific dangerous places, specifically the spine and kidneys.
Going to do ballbusting? Squeezing is safe, but twisting/pulling can fuck up the cords, and be careful with fingernails!
etc

With the majority of BDSM, short, one sentence tips like that are seriously all you *need* to know before doing trying it, excluding knife play and choking/breath play which are a lot more dangerous and require more expertise; this isn't something you need to study for years before trying. Obviously communication is big, and you should always make sure that everyone's enjoying what's going on, and know how to stop or fix things when they aren't... but, I mean, that's true of relationships in general. It'd be nice if everyone put a bunch of effort into learning to be sensitive to things like that, but you've got to accept that not everyone *will*, and that unless you have a mentor (which isn't necessarily easy to find), practice is really the only real way to learn; internet lists of red flags and whatnot are all well and good, but it's just theory.

Remember, the difference between theory and practice is smaller in theory than it is in practice!

Oh, and I agree with Etoile that it was dirty talk. He was probably masturbating at the time. And please don't act like that's a crime.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

How do you expect him to learn, other than by trying and learning from his mistakes? Should he take a course or something?

YES! Almost any decent-sized gathering of BDSMers for a weekend convention, etc., offers lots and *lots* of one-hour courses that cover a wide range of BDSM activities... and they're almost always *FREE* to attendees; the most one usually has to do (unless it's a *really* high-demand presentation that's only being offered one time during the weekend) is sign up for the desired presentation(s) an hour or two ahead of time. And conventions are offered just about every month of the year somewhere, and in a wide range of locations across the country.

There are a lot of safety-related things that people really should know before engaging in much BDSM, mostly related to specific activities.
Going to be doing bondage? Make sure you don't cut off blood supply, and have something handy so you can cut the ropes off quickly if something goes wrong.

Really? That's the only things you need to know about doing bondage? How about dealing with doing bondage with someone for the first time, who says, "Oh yeah, I'd like to try that!" but doesn't bother to tell you that they're claustrophobic and will freak the hell OUT if you (for example) cover their eyes at all, or cover their mouth and/or nose for more than .001 second, or fasten their arms semi-firmly behind them so that their ability to breathe is *slightly* hampered? The last of those (underlined), I've seen happen. The girl panicked and began writhing, wriggling, screaming and fighting so hard that the poor bondage master *couldn't* cut the ropes without serious danger of cutting some part of her body off. It took *three* 200-pound plus Dungeon Monitors to immobilize this 105-pound, slender girl enough for the rope man to be able to safely remove the ropes on her wrists... and that immobilization only made her struggle worse. And her breathing wasn't stopped at all - it was only a little bit impaired.

Going to be flogging/beating? Avoid a few specific dangerous places, specifically the spine and kidneys.

Really? That's the only thing you need to know? There are a number - thousands - of articles online that address flogging safety. One I found quickly has this (among other things) to say about safe flogging:

Here is a list of regions on the body that should never be struck with any type of flogger:

Spine
Lower back
Head
Neck
Feet (however the soles are sometimes used but be very careful as the bones there are fragile)
All joints, period.
Shoulders
Upper chest
Lower check [?? I'm sure this is a typo, but not sure whether it should be "chest," "cheek," or something entirely different.]
Abdomen
Tailbone

There are areas not covered in either of the above two sections, these areas can be worked although you need to be very careful when doing so and should only be done either very lightly or when you have learned full control. One particular area that many people are interested in are the breasts. The breasts are a common and fun place to use various types of bondage gear, however you should be careful when using a flogger and be very gentle. There are many people out there that say flogging can cause serious damage to the breasts, so keep it light, the nipples and surrounding area are very sensitive so heavy hitting is not necessary.​

Going to do ballbusting? Squeezing is safe, but twisting/pulling can fuck up the cords, and be careful with fingernails!
etc

I don't do ball-busting so I have no comment here - maybe someone else will.

With the majority of BDSM, short, one sentence tips like that are seriously all you *need* to know before doing trying it, excluding knife play and choking/breath play which are a lot more dangerous and require more expertise; this isn't something you need to study for years before trying. Obviously communication is big, and you should always make sure that everyone's enjoying what's going on, and know how to stop or fix things when they aren't... but, I mean, that's true of relationships in general. It'd be nice if everyone put a bunch of effort into learning to be sensitive to things like that, but you've got to accept that not everyone *will*, and that unless you have a mentor (which isn't necessarily easy to find), practice is really the only real way to learn; internet lists of red flags and whatnot are all well and good, but it's just theory.

Remember, the difference between theory and practice is smaller in theory than it is in practice!

Oh, and I agree with Etoile that it was dirty talk. He was probably masturbating at the time. And please don't act like that's a crime.

<Sigh> Remind me never to let you near any pyls with whom I have a personal relationship. Theory should be the basis of good practice, not an afterthought, as it seems to me you're implying. While it's true that experience is, in the long run, the best teacher, getting that experience without any foreknowledge of the basic theories of what you're doing is the best way to *ensure* that you'll make mistakes... mistakes for which your partner could pay with his/her life or long-lasting or lifelong injury.

 

[Adakgirl]

You said this

With the majority of BDSM, short, one sentence tips like that are seriously all you *need* to know before doing trying it,

BDSM runs far deeper than that.
Before any BDSM happens at all, a Dominant seriously needs to know where his submissive's limits lie. He would want to encourage her to tell him her feelings and he should listen to her concerns. By cutting off all discussion about why his request was unreasonable and unacceptable to her.. he cuts himself off from vital information .

He should You said this

With the majority of BDSM, short, one sentence tips like that are seriously all you *need* to know before doing trying it,

BDSM runs far deeper than that. Before any BDSM happens at all, a serious Dominant wants to know where his submissive's limits lie. He would want to encourage her to tell him her feelings and he would listen to her concerns and take them into consideration. By cutting off all discussion about it, he cuts himself off from vital information about her.

A wize Dominant would be eager to listen to her reasons. He'd want to hear her excuses even if they are "just" excuses. He will take the time to explore her mind, learn how she thinks, how she feels. He would want to know why she thinks his request is unreasonable, unrealistic, and unacceptable to her. We are not talking about an established relationship here, but a brand new one.
His punishment scenario shows his incredible ignorance, it far out weighs the crime, and she committed no crime in the 1st place, she questioned him that it a smart thing to do, not disobedience or disrespect, but smart. Too bad she dumbed right back down by saying she was wrong when she was right , by telling him he could punish her, during their 1st meeting, alone at her place after only chatting with him on the internet 7 or 8 times. That is the kind of innocent stupidity that gets women killed every single day.

He told her He will be coming to her place for their first meeting. I don't have to read a red flag safety list on the internet to know that, punishment or no punishment, submissive or not..that right there puts this woman into an extremely dangerous situation. And that is FACT not theory.

 

[subgirl2]

The general consensus seems to be that you need to cut this guy off. He obviously knows nothing about being a Dom. It can take a long time to build a D/s relationship and both parties need to know each others limits, physical and emotional. Don't rush it because you are horny and want to jump right into the scene at the deep end. You both need to build the relationship from the ground up, and trust each other implicitly.

There are some very god rules on this thread that I think you both should read carefully but I don't think it is a good idea to meet up with him. If the trust and relationship is not there, then it is just abuse rather than loving dominance and submissiveness.