creampieluvr79
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 3, 2009
- Posts
- 448
He says he's not ok with it. He blames it on my bullets so one time I went 2 weeks without masturbating, because he said I was desensitized and it bothered him. SO 2 weeks without orgasm because he didn't do anything about it, but apparently toys were a no as well! By the end I was so frustrated I was snapping at everyone and felt really guilty because I am never mean to people. I told him I couldn't take it anymore and said I needed to just use a vibrator. He ended up agreeing because we had anal (which I had been avoiding without a toy) and since I had nothing to relax me, I guess I started tightening and tore/bled and had to stop. (Before this, he was grumpy about vibrators with anal, now not really. Lol) I explained that anal is hard for me without one as I worry about mess and about pain and I have nothing to relax and distract me.
Anyway, the whole thing was a waste.
I guess I'm really frustrated because I stopped even thinking about oral but the last few weeks every couple days he says he is going to do it (I don't bring it up, he does) so I'm even more freak clean than normal (2 baths every day, and I've had 3 on some..) and shaving every day instead of every couple, etc....not using a toy just to make sure I'm not desensitized..until it's 12 at night and he's done nothing, if I haven't already fallen asleep./ but he hasn't done it once or even gone in that direction. Instead, we haven't even had as much sex as we normally do. So I'm grumpy partially because I normally do it myself 3 days AT LEAST (I've done 11...) and it's been 3 days since I did last. (...)
Today I was looking online at a sqweel toy and he saw the page later and asked why I would need that. (???!!!) I said, "um, well, honey.. you never do that. Am I not allowed the toy??" He said "well, ,then you'll never want me to do it and you won't like it as much." So again I said " but you never do it though. Why can't I have the toy? I'm under the impression you don't even like it because you never do it " Then he said to buy the stupid toy if I want. And with how angry he looked, I know he means no, it's not ok. So wtf???
I just feel sad. I was telling myself I don't like receiving oral but after reading this thread I realized I am afraid to like it because I don't think he does and it makes me uncomfortable to think of myself as an imposing chore when I spend so much time trying to be. the opposite.
Sorry for my ranting. This isn't what I intended.
It sounds to me like the situation sucks, you have no reason to apologize. To me it sounds like your husband is the one that needs to do some apologizing and not to us...
I'd never heard of the sqweel before, I looked it up. It certainly looks interesting! I say if he says it's ok, give it a whirl... He'll get over it, otherwise tell him to put his mouth where his mouth keeps saying it will be and for more than for just a couple of boring minutes and more than just once a year.
As for desensitizing, I think that's a load of crap! My wife has used the Hitachi on me quite a number of times while stroking me off, it has helped to bring on some amazing orgasms and it certainly hasn't made it any harder for me to cum from regular sex alone.
You need to tell him to face the facts that he is hardly ever able to make you cum with what he's doing now. If he wants to be a real man and help you cum he needs to actually care about and show some interest in your orgasms too, not just make half-hearted promises that he might keep once in a blue moon and then blame the fact that you don't cum the moment he sticks it in on the fact that you like to use vibrators.
) so maybe he will then? If he doesn't after all the talking and things he said, and while we are doing something it's pretty damned important for me to relax in (hey, by the way..thinking of drinking a bit to relax..is that a bad idea or is it fine? Off topic..) then I don't know what to say. But we will see. 
