How To Seduce Women.

[NotHisLady]

oh HELL!

To begin with those first couple of posts referencing hunting and fishing had me hearing him in my head like the voice over from Bill Dance Outdoors. Now I've got the Charlie Brown piano music on top of that.

I took my pills today--I swear I did--but you guys seem hell bent on undoing all the good work they may have done!!!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Damn it. DAMN IT! *shakes fists at the heavens* First no nose, now no rape!!

I can learn!!!! I mean, how else could I possibly get a woman I like to fuck me?!? Rape is the only option.

 

[NotHisLady]

Don't worry about your pills, the geri in the corner is only here to enlighten and educate. He has pills... but be careful taking them seems to end with him wearing your skin.

Sounds like he's too cheap to even try to get a girl loaded.
I can respect a guy who tries to get me loaded. (won't get naked with him necessarily but I can appreciate the fact that it's a classic approach.)

 

[Noor]

This wouldn't work with me.

I would start with Bassett's Jelly Babies and stuff that made me laugh.

 

[Lord Pmann]

His number one pick up line...

"Hey, does this smell like chloroform?"

 

[Emerson40]

Pay attention, cuz one of the Usual Suspects is certain to complain to LADY G.

LESSON 1

1. If you wanna bag a deer or an antelope yuh gotta go where the deer and the antelope play.

No solo sailing around the world. No playing hermit atop Mt. Everest.

Funny, I always thought you more a pig or sheep kinda guy.

Not slagging the more domesticated hoofed mammals, it's just given your advanced years, coupled with the fact that the deer and antelope's sex organs are so much higher up. Plus, those fuckers run pretty fast.

LESSON 2

Once you've located the fishes, you bait your hook and wait. Patience is everything with women. You wanna project a look that says, I'M AVAILABLE. If youre desperate youll attract one kind of fish, if youre needy youll get something else, even a drug addicted mommas boy will get bites. Be the lid to her pot.

If youre her lid come true, she'll move in close to attract your attention. BE PATIENT AND ALERT.

I'm sure this has something more to do with the ineffectiveness of rape whistles underwater than it does teaching a man to fish.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

LESSON 5

Two glasses of Vivolo Merlot.

She'll drop her drawers quicker than the French drop their weapons in battle.

 

[NotHisLady]

LESSON 5

Two glasses of Vivolo Merlot.

She'll drop her drawers quicker than the French drop their weapons in battle.

AHA!
So he appreciates the classic approach after all. What are you serving it in, water glasses?
The 'ladies' this is going to get you over on won't even get a buzz on two glasses of red.

 

[subdued_passion]

I don't know you at all, but I think I love you. Please come into this little corner so I can slip you some drugs and dump you in my basement pit.

Your skin looks so soft....

Why thank you! Nothing says true love like an abduction and then using your desired one's skin to make a coat- so you can always feel their skin against yours.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

AHA!
So he appreciates the classic approach after all. What are you serving it in, water glasses?
The 'ladies' this is going to get you over on won't even get a buzz on two glasses of red.

Flintstone jelly glasses.

I don't fish for low grade skanks. Two glasses is plenty.

 

[NotHisLady]

Flintstone jelly glasses.

I don't fish for low grade skanks. Two glasses is plenty.

Given that you're using low grade hootch, I don't know what else you expect to catch. If you're getting change back from a twenty those jelly jars are just about right.

 

[subdued_passion]

I prefer wine packets. I can't be bothered with glasses.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Given that you're using low grade hootch, I don't know what else you expect to catch. If you're getting change back from a twenty those jelly jars are just about right.

I'm a sangria man myself. If a snooty wine sniffer is what you want he aint me. Black Cat Moselle is about as fancy as I ever get, and Black Cat is low grade skank. But if I wanna drop drawers no amount of elastic can hold up I have a secret leg spreader formula tonic just for galz. Its guaranteed to light your fire so hot you just gotta pull the panties off for a lil relief from the heat.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I prefer wine packets. I can't be bothered with glasses.

What in hell is a wine packet?

 

[Lord Pmann]

I prefer boxed wine, who can argue with the quality of 4 litres of wine in a box! Class!

And some nice gasoline to huff too.

 

[fgarvb1]

So my "Nice shoes! Wanna fuck? " line isn't going to work then?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So my "Nice shoes! Wanna fuck? " line isn't going to work then?

It does when no one else is around.

 

[subdued_passion]

I prefer boxed wine, who can argue with the quality of 4 litres of wine in a box! Class!

True, but if you want to portion control (2 glass limit remember) the pouches are the way to go.

And if you get a couple of straws you can make it really romantic. In Hindi we have a saying, 'jootha peene se pyaar badtha hain.'

http://www.martofimages.com/stamp/MOI000028999.jpg

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

This thread could also be called HOW TO RAPE A WOMAN, by some doddering old goat.

I added a rape to one of my new stories, the event was real. Guy goes to a redneck bar where 2 gals pick him up. They leave the bar. The girls slip the guy a Mickey Finn and take him to their fellas who take turns sodomizing the guy. Then they toss the guys naked body into the middle of downtown. Feel free to use it to catch a man for yourself.

 

[subdued_passion]

Since I am a non-native speaker of the English language can someone please explain how seduction= rape?

I understand they are both in the non-consent/reluctant category of stories on Lit... is that where this confusion is originating from?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Since I am a non-native speaker of the English language can someone please explain how seduction= rape?

I understand they are both in the non-consent/reluctant category of stories on Lit... is that where this confusion is originating from?

The code word was ISOLATION. In some minds isolation=coercion.

Generally speaking, intimate relationships seek out privacy and isolation from others.

At LIT, and especially here, we like to collar and leash our issues then let them hump the legs of everyone.

 

[subdued_passion]

The code word was ISOLATION. In some minds isolation=coercion.

Actually sir, it was your post that lead to my concern.

I added a rape to one of my new stories, the event was real. Guy goes to a redneck bar where 2 gals pick him up. They leave the bar. The girls slip the guy a Mickey Finn and take him to their fellas who take turns sodomizing the guy. Then they toss the guys naked body into the middle of downtown. Feel free to use it to catch a man for yourself.

You started out giving (rather suspect) tips on seducing women and then ended up with flat out strategy for committing rape (sodomy).
Next we know you'll be writing a How To for making your own roofies (or has that already been done?).

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Actually sir, it was your post that lead to my concern.




You started out giving (rather suspect) tips on seducing women and then ended up with flat out strategy for committing rape (sodomy).
Next we know you'll be writing a How To for making your own roofies (or has that already been done?).

Everyone gets an opinion, and I didn't get the memo that appoints you the post judge.

Besides, for almost 65 years gals and guys interact like I submit. So I assume youre naïve or virginal.

You should read the PMs I get from the guys. They don't wanna deal with the female flaming but all agree with me.

 

[subdued_passion]

I didn't get the memo that appoints you the post judge

It's in the mail.

 

[subdued_passion]

So I assume youre naïve or virginal.

I actually have a thread asking for instructions... But there's already one dadaji trolling that thread.

You should read the PMs I get from the guys.

Ok.

But, I'd like to forward you some of my PMs in return; I bet no guy messaged you asking if you could manage to make your womb available for 3 years for breeding purposes.